Funny quotes

[Fullhouse]

Ain't that the truth.

 

[H.Miller]

"If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead." Johnny Carson

"Always listen to the paranoid--- because he is the guy with the facts." W.S. Burroughs

"Remember, a cat looks down on man, a dog looks up to man & when man looks a pig in the eye,--- he sees his equal." W. Churchill

"Even popularity can be overdone. In Rome along at first, you are full of regrets that Michelangelo died ; but by and by you only regret that you didn't see him do it." M. Twain

 

[d_Duck55]

A woman says to Winston Churchill "You, sir, are drunk".
To which he replies. "True. But you are ugly. And I will be sober in the morning".

 

[d_Duck55]

A woman says to Winston Churchill "If you were my husband I would put poison in your tea."
To which he replies "If I were married to you, I would drink that tea".

Funny guy.