Funniest/weirdest experience with an sp.

[Thedirtygentleman]

Initially I didnt know what bbbj meant, and payed for it but would always keep the rubber during the act. Until one day I saw this provider who in the act started blowing me without it, and I was fucking blown away by the experience, I thought I was receiving special treatment, I was the happiest that day until I realized it was included in the price the entire time.

I could have done this in all previous sessions lol

 

[gianni lotus]

Initially I didnt know what bbbj meant, and payed for it but would always keep the rubber during the act. Until one day I saw this provider who in the act started blowing me without it, and I was fucking blown away by the experience, I thought I was receiving special treatment, I was the happiest that day until I realized it was included in the price the entire time.

I could have done this in all previous sessions lol

Weirdest: Morgan. An Asian girl with Minka sized boobs was blowing me for about 5 minutes and then stopped and said "You have ginger pubes." Then went back to blowing. She was a trip.

Funniest: Nancy making fun of me for not wanting rimming. She pretty much shamed me into letting her rim me on all fours. "You too shy? Haha." "Why you don't like? Haha." I love Nancy/Treasure but rimming is still not my thing.

 

[GeeBeeP]

In my early days of seeing SP’s I was paranoid about being seen or recognised going into an incall in my own town, and never wanted to draw attention to myself or the girl I was there to see. I’m still careful but more chill about it.

I was visiting an SP that would later become a regular at her hotel incall. She was trying to be discreet as well so didn't want me to knock on the door etc…, all pretty normal.

We had a really good couple of hours and I clearly had the post session high going on when I left the room. I checked the peep hole to see that the coast was clear, paused to get a last kiss goodbye, opened the door and promptly walked straight into the housekeeping cart. Cracked my knee into it, knocked the little toiletry bottles everywhere, tried to stifle the swearing from the pain in my knee, and scared the hell out of the poor housekeeping girl. Also drew way too many looks from a couple getting off the elevator.

When I finally got to my car I texted the SP to apologise for causing all the noise in the hallway. She was cool with it and said she couldn’t stop laughing at me as she watched it all unfold. Thank god she got a condo incall in town not long afterward.

 

[grusse]

probably more weird than funny but there was an SP a few yrs ago who had a baby on the premises.Baby was crying, as babies are wont to do, so she took the infant onto the bed with us, and he/she was a spectator to our cavorting.
I had to shut my eyes and concentrate to make it over the line.Baby seemed fine afterwards.

Another time an SP had a small dog that couldn't seem to let "mommy""out of sight.
SP shut the bedroom door and we proceeded.I noticed the dog was quiet,to my gratitude/relief.
After,as I was leaving, the little ankle-biter was looking at me and wagging its tail, and I thought I'd made a friend.
It was then I saw the *^$%)rat-dog had pissed in my shoes!

 

[Big Dick Bob]

Many many years ago I went to see a SP on my birthday. She was obviously high but we had a great session, and I capped it off by cumming on her face (at her request). After I came, I said "that's a great way to spend my birthday." The SP tells me to get cleaned up and get dressed.

As I'm about to leave, she puts the money I paid her back in my hand and says "I wouldn't feel right about charging the birthday boy to have a good time." She then says take the stairs down and get off the property ASAP.

5 minutes after I get off the property, I get a phone call from her boyfriend/pimp, and he is irate and yelling how I ripped her off. I laughed and told him to fuck off and then blocked the number.

 

[Thedirtygentleman]

probably more weird than funny but there was an SP a few yrs ago who had a baby on the premises.Baby was crying, as babies are wont to do, so she took the infant onto the bed with us, and he/she was a spectator to our cavorting.
I had to shut my eyes and concentrate to make it over the line.Baby seemed fine afterwards.

Another time an SP had a small dog that couldn't seem to let "mommy""out of sight.
SP shut the bedroom door and we proceeded.I noticed the dog was quiet,to my gratitude/relief.
After,as I was leaving, the little ankle-biter was looking at me and wagging its tail, and I thought I'd made a friend.
It was then I saw the *^$%)rat-dog had pissed in my shoes!

I think I would have left the moment o heard the baby 🤣

 

[westwoody]

Was in mish and hotel fire alarm went off.

 

[luvsdaty]

Years ago with a beautiful blonde, she was a regular and worked out of her apartment. So I'm going down on her(which I loved as she had a full blonde bush) and her toddler son comes walking in and keeping his balance, I guess puts his little hand on my butt. The escort notices and immediately gets up and puts her boy back in the bed room profusely apologing 😅

 

[islander1-1]

Mid 80s I was seeing my regular SP, in the back of my van. We would usually park under a street lamp so with the blacked out windows in the back, it was impossible to see in. Never had an issue. Then one evening, she wanted to park at her fave spot behind some warehouse. We are well into it when there is banging on the side door, and a flashlight searching in the window. We hunker down but the cop wont leave us alone. She finally puts on her top and opens the sliding door. All he wanted was to make sure we don't leave a condom behind, and he is on his way. We both laughed and carried on.

 

[Lo-ki]

Locked my keys in the car before seeing the sp….
Dead car battery and she had to give me a jump start….
Knocked on the wrong door…and was directed to the right door by the owner….
She decided to use her mom’s room because her was a mess and her mom walked in on us…
Getting a massage and the health inspector was doing a surprise inspection at the MP…

 

[Thedirtygentleman]

Locked my keys in the car before seeing the sp….
Dead car battery and she had to give me a jump start….
Knocked on the wrong door…and was directed to the right door by the owner….
She decided to use her mom’s room because her was a mess and her mom walked in on us…
Getting a massage and the health inspector was doing a surprise inspection at the MP…

Wow I love those stories.

 

[LM987]

Was told ahead of time she had dogs. No problem I am good with dogs. She had them behind a closed door in another room. Never heard peep out of them.

So after done, standing there naked and she lets the dogs out.
One was a Pit Bull cross, big and solid, but seemed friendly. He walks right up to me and smells my junk. I was trying not so show fear in case it decided it was snack time.

 

[dchoye]

I lost consciousness during the act and SP thought I had a heart attack
It was hot day, I didn’t drink enough fluids and Iwas straining as I was cumming
I fainted and SP panicked.
Poor girl didn’t know what to do
Luckily I recovered after few minutes and ended the session
Saw my own doctor later that week and get standard blood and heart test done Nothing was found that cause my lightheadness. Never happen since.

Worse nightmare for me would be paramedics coming to check me out and me explaining what I was doing that cause me to get dizzy.

 

[Bunghole1]

The craziest for me was when a basic no extras 30 min massage session with a young 20s hot massage provider turned into a very awkward face splattering facial. I enjoy bigger finishes so I didnt get off for a couple days before my booking but not in my wildest dreams did I think an outcome like this would ever occur. On the final countdown of my HE she was hovering over my Johnson but that didnt even register in my mind until after the fact. With the amount of distance between her face and my unit there is no way I could forsee what happened next. As I busted while laying flat on my back a jizz rocket shot straight up in the air at record speed and height. She had zero time to move away. That moment made me feel like I was a teen again with super human powers. Everything happened in a flash but it was like time had slowed down after the finish. My rocket blast was a direct face shot that splattered all over her lower face, lips and in her mouth. After it was all said and done she stood in place just staring at me with this omg wtf! just happened shocked look on her face. She didnt move as she stood frozen in time for what felt like minutes as it dripped down her face. I did whatever I could to hold back nervous laughter or whatever bad expression I could of added to it as I layed in shock while she stared at me. Omg....uhhh.....I am sorry.....uhhh....I didnt know how to react so I said as little as I could. After the aftershock she had a drink of water to rinse her mouth out and we started talking again. It was still awkward but nice to be able to move past that silenced shock experience. She ended up saying that this experience has never happened to her before.
I tipped her extra and left with a story that I will never forget.

 

[angry anderson]

Didn't happen to me but I was friends with a couple of sp's who killed their clients and had to clean up the mess. Both times heart attacks. I drifted into the friend zone with one and decided to take pity on her lonely life and take her out to lunch on a Saturday afternoon. When I got there, she told me in her limited English that she needed me to come up to her apartment and help her with a client. I thought " that doesn't sound good". so up I went and a South Asian gentleman was passed out on her bed with an empty 26 of "Punjabi Rye".
We debated what to do and she said, come back in half an hour and she will try to revive him. I looked at him and he had turned kind of grey green. He started throwing up, lying on his back. We pulled him off the bed and I rolled him over face down to avoid him doing a Bon Scott/ Jimi Hendrix/ John Bonham. Felt for a pulse. Nothing. Called an ambulance and they came right away and managed to get a pulse. So all good, legally. He didn't die at her place. She had fled. I found her on the street hiding between two cars in her teddy and nothing else. Anyway the ambulance guys were nice and non judgemental. I asked where I should take his clothes. They told me which hospital I should drop his stuff off, which I did.
Second incident. Found my cell phone in my jacket pocked with 20 missed calls from my other Asian friend. Turned out she had also killed her client with a heart attack. She and her girlfriend called 911 and fled. Wound up staying at my place for a week or so. I had to contact the landlady who said "come and get her stuff. Landlady pretended she didn't know what they were up to. She actually did, and was on good terms with them. Anyway, me and a buddy had to rent a truck and move all their shit. A truck load of it, and put it in storage.
No pussy involved for me either time.
Still friends with both of them.

 

[Harmony-bc]

When I was a teen, I watched a movie called whore. The woman in the movie had a client die of a heart attack while she was riding him. It’s something I want never to happen. Traumatizing. Those poor girls.

 

[Noblues]

Tons of stories from way back -
1) Crazy C..(the watermelon lady) had locked herself out from her basement suite somehow and asked me to retrieve her key from her home upstairs after I arrived for an appointment. So basically, broke into her home (with permission), retrieved key but it took so long and was a bit traumatic for her that appointment was deferred. For oldtimers, this is Crazy C.. we are talking about - she of sliced watermelon-inserting pre-rimming infamy.

 

[Noblues]

2) Got raided in the middle of session at an AMP down south after payment for a fancy Vichy shower/sage. Got additional bj. Loud banging at the door, thought it might be a rival gang but it was the cops. Was questioned separately, gave very vague answers as I blanked out a bit. Being a tourist helped as the cops were more concerned about their operations. I felt bad for the girl as I ended up with a freebie bj. To top it off, received a registered mail for court appearance a few weeks later, which I ignored but haven't been back to that city since.

 

[Noblues]

3) almost ran into older relative in washroom post-session at local AMP. Stayed in the toilet stall for some time.
4) had similar johnson-sniffing dog incident
5) car ignition problem in NW post-session. Thank god for BCAA.

 

[VanCityNewb]

Oh snap, reminds me of seeing this busty young throat goat in LA. I drive to her hotel in a car with expired licence plate tags and insurance. After leaving, I get into my car, and I notice a police car pull up behind me, so I just sit there charging my phone. They flash the lights... As I'm sitting there parked without my car running. Like, wtf are you even supposed to do in this situation??? I'm not even driving!

Anyways, they come up, notice a smell of marijuana, and confiscate my beautiful pipe, which I'm still pissed about to this day. As I'm sitting there with my pipe and weed on the roof of my car, the provider walks past on the sidewalk.

Omg, I've never tried and failed to hide so badly in my life. As I'm sure she did also.

I ended up going to court, after getting my medical marijuana card, and explaining to the prosecutor that I had since updated my registration and insurance, and telling them that I was simply parked and recharging my phone. They dismissed the charges. Whew!