I was talking on the phone last night to an SP I know, that has become a friend. We were discussing how often one sees a friend and she thought perhaps once a month. She said we see each 2 or sometimes 3 times a week and that is a relationship in her opinion. I saw her Friday night and last night, she invited more over again while we were on the phone. We like to have a few drinks, talk, listen to music and dance on occasion. Don't know if the frequency at which you see someone defines how things are between two people though.
Friends or relationship?
- Thread starter masterblaster
- Start date
One way to end the confusion is to ask her if she's looking for a relationship with you . Or if you have feellings for her,express them to her. Worst thing that happens is she doesn't feel the same way.
Disagree. Sometimes talking about it scares them off. You should know if you are in a relationship, if you don't know then you are not. And if Joe Weider above doesn't know it, yes if you are dancing with her I would guess you definitely are in a relationship. Just remember that a lot of these working girls are skittish about liking a guy, they've probably seen more bullshit than we ever will.
L
LADY-VIA
sometimes it’s better not to over think the sutuation, that’s what makes it complicated. Enjoy what you have, and you will know what you are to each other as time goes on.
You are in a relationship. You interact more than just SP and client.
But don't get hung up on the term itself- it can mean a lot of things, and is also misconstrued a lot to be something more definitive than it necessarily is.
Frequency of hanging out isn't a determining factor nor is the type of activities you do.
Friends hangout...sometimes daily -you can go out for drinks, a movie, even dance. If there is no intimate contact (beyond hugs) there's no relationship.
You can even be "Friends with benefits" and there would still be no relationship.
The line gets crossed when one or both people have deep emotional/intimate attachment to the other.
Some say don't overthink but that could lead to mixed messages as the friendship progresses. I say talk it out and establish boundaries (or remove them) that way you can enjoy each other without ambiguity. It's not the easiest conversation to have but it's the most adult way of dealing with it.
Friends hangout...sometimes daily -you can go out for drinks, a movie, even dance. If there is no intimate contact (beyond hugs) there's no relationship.
You can even be "Friends with benefits" and there would still be no relationship.
The line gets crossed when one or both people have deep emotional/intimate attachment to the other.
Some say don't overthink but that could lead to mixed messages as the friendship progresses. I say talk it out and establish boundaries (or remove them) that way you can enjoy each other without ambiguity. It's not the easiest conversation to have but it's the most adult way of dealing with it.
He would then run the risk of 'just not getting it' and having her then do the 'defining'...I'm with Lady Via on this, enjoy the time you share.
No ambiguity.
What about The Money ?
In this or any other " attachment " *
I would say I'm about a 4 on her work. She often tells me about the clients she has seen in the previous few days since I last saw her. It used to bother me more but she tells me how working is becoming harder and harder to do. She invited me over on Valentine's and I took her flowers, she appreciated that. I didn't talk to her for a couple days after that. She texted me Saturday morning saying she wasn't used to not hearing from me pretty much daily. She invited me over last night, stayed and talked until nearly 3 in the morning.
Is it just me or does anyone else think this sounds like a trial balloon kind of conversation? e.g. she's contemplating quitting and wondering if he'll be there for her (whether that means emotionally, financially, or something else, would vary depending on the personality). Or maybe I'm just projecting since I've had two friends exit the industry and it sounds familiar.
Edit to add: well, masterblaster, if she's thinking it's getting harder and harder, she may not be long for the industry, so you may not have as much to lose as you think by acting on the growing relationship, if that's what you want. Anyone who is not clearly a part of her life outside the business could well soon be not a part of her life.
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I say live in the moment. If you worry too much about the status or title of your engagement, you may lose sight of the good times at hand. Before you know it, the whole thing may have run its course. Relax and go with the flow. Women are rarely shy when they intend for things to go to the next level.
Is she still taking money for your time? Sorry if i missed it, on my phone scrolling right now.
That is usually a big indicator an SP wants you for deeper purposes than a client relationship is when they are able to throw money out of the equation
That is usually a big indicator an SP wants you for deeper purposes than a client relationship is when they are able to throw money out of the equation
friendships/relationships arent defined by the # of times you see each other in a month. maybe ask her to clarify what she is looking for so that both of you are on the same page.
She invited me over last night for a visit, very few weekends that we don't get together and often during the week too. Stayed up until about 3 in the morning talking, then I slept over in her guest room. She occasionally makes comments about when she is done work and how I may figure in her life then. She mentioned once that things move slow between us, might take 10 years to figure out we're in love with each other.
I'd say you are in the friend zone.
Not that there is anything wrong with having more friends. It just doesn't sound like there is any relationship happening.
Again feels like a familiar conversation. In my case she said our relationship basically started backwards so she wanted to spend time on the stuff we skipped over. Basically, she needed to know I was in it for more than a booty call.
I know for myself....the friendship happened organically .
One day we both stood back and looked at each other, not really knowing how, or when it happened.
One day we both stood back and looked at each other, not really knowing how, or when it happened.
