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Five myths about prostitution

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lenny

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http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/09/10/AR2010091002670.html

By Sudhir Venkatesh
Sunday, September 12, 2010

Last weekend, Craigslist, the popular provider of Internet classified advertising, halted publication of its "adult services" section. The move followed criticism from law enforcement officials across the country who have accused the site of facilitating prostitution on a massive scale. Of course, selling sex is an old business -- most say the oldest. But as the Craigslist controversy proves, it's also one of the fastest changing. And as a result, most people's perceptions of the sex trade are wildly out of date.

1. Prostitution is an alleyway business.

It once was, of course. In the late 1800s, as Northern cities boomed, the sex trade in America became synonymous with the seedy side of town. Men who wanted to find prostitutes combed alleys behind bars, dimly lit parks and industrial corridors. But today, only a few big cities, such as Los Angeles and Miami, still have a thriving outdoor street market for sex. New York has cleaned up Times Square, Chicago's South Loop has long since gentrified, and even San Francisco's infamous Tenderloin isn't what it used to be.

These red-light districts waned in part because the Internet became the preferred place to pick up a prostitute. Even the most down-and-out sex worker now advertises on Craigslist (or did until recently), as well as on dating sites and in online chat forums. As a result, pimps' role in the sex economy has been diminished. In addition, the online trade has helped bring the sex business indoors, with johns and prostitutes increasingly meeting up in bars, in hotels, in their own homes or in apartments rented by groups of sex workers. All this doesn't mean a john can't get what he's looking for in the park, but he had better be prepared to search awhile.

Although putting numbers on these trends is difficult, the transition from the streets to the Internet seems to have been very rapid. In my own research on sex workers in New York, women who in 1999 worked mostly outdoors said that by 2004, demand on the streets had decreased by half.

2. Men visit sex workers for sex.

Often, they pay them to talk. I've been studying high-end sex workers (by which I mean those who earn more than $250 per "session") in New York, Chicago and Paris for more than a decade, and one of my most startling findings is that many men pay women to not have sex. Well, they pay for sex, but end up chatting or having dinner and never get around to physical contact. Approximately 40 percent of high-end sex worker transactions end up being sex-free. Even at the lower end of the market, about 20 percent of transactions don't ultimately involve sex.

Figuring out why men pay for sex they don't have could sustain New York's therapists for a long time. But the observations of one Big Apple-based sex worker are typical: "Men like it when you listen. . . . I learned this a long time ago. They pay you to listen -- and to tell them how great they are." Indeed, the high-end sex workers I have studied routinely see themselves as acting the part of a counselor or a marriage therapist. They say their job is to feed a man's need for judgment-free friendship and, at times, to help him repair his broken partnership. Little wonder, then, that so many describe themselves to me as members of the "wellness" industry.

3. Most prostitutes are addicted to drugs or were abused as children.

This was once the case, as a host of research on prostitution long ago confirmed. But the population of women choosing sex work has changed dramatically over the past decade. High-end prostitutes of the sort Eliot Spitzer frequented account for a greater share of the sex business than they once did. And as Barnard College's Elizabeth Bernstein has shown, sex workers today tend to make a conscious decision to enter the trade -- not as a reaction to suffering but to earn some quick cash. Among these women, Bernstein's research suggests, prostitution is viewed as a part-time job, one that grants autonomy and flexibility.

These women have little in common with the shrinking number of sex workers who still work on the streets. In a 2001 study of British prostitutes, Stephanie Church of Glasgow University found that those working outdoors "were younger, involved in prostitution at an earlier age, reported more illegal drug use, and experienced significantly more violence from their clients than those working indoors."

4. Prostitutes and police are enemies.

When it comes to the sex trade, police officers have in recent decades functioned as quasi-social workers. Peter Moskos's recent book, "Cop in the Hood: My Year Policing Baltimore's Eastern District," describes how police often play counselor to sex workers, drug dealers and a host of other illegal moneymakers. In my own work, I've found that cops are among the most empathetic and helpful people sex workers meet on the job. They typically hand out phone numbers for shelters, soup kitchens and emergency rooms, and they tend to demonstrate a great deal of sympathy for women who have been abused. Instead of arresting an abused sex worker, police officers will usually let her off with a warning and turn their attention to finding her abusive client.

Unfortunately, officers say it is becoming more difficult to help such women; as they move indoors, it is simply more difficult to locate them. Of course, many big-city mayors embrace this same turn of events, since the rate of prostitution-related arrests drops precipitously when cops can't find anyone to nab. But for police officers, it makes day-to-day work quite challenging.

Officers in Chicago and New York who once took pride in helping women exit the sex trade have told me about their frustration. Abusive men can more easily rob or hurt a sex worker in a building than on the street, they say. And while cops may receive a call about an overheard disturbance, the vague report to 911 is usually not enough to pinpoint the correct apartment or hotel room. There are few things more dispiriting, they say, than hearing of a woman's cries for help and being unable to find her.

5. Closing Craigslist's "adult services" section will significantly affect the sex trade.

Although Craigslist offered customers an important means to connect with sellers of sexual services, its significance has probably been exaggerated.

Even before the site's "adult services" section was shut down, it was falling out of favor among many users. Adolescent pranksters were placing ads as hoaxes. And because sex workers knew that cops were spending a lot of time responding to ads, they were increasingly hesitant to answer solicitations. I found that 80 percent of the men who contacted women via Craigslist in New York never consummated their exchange with a meeting.

How the sex trade will evolve from here is anyone's guess, but the Internet is vast, and already we are seeing increasing numbers of sex workers use Twitter and Facebook to advertise their services. Apparently, the desire to reveal is sometimes greater than the desire to conceal.
 

badbadboy

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Thanks that is a good read. Lot's of presumptions made in the past for sure.

On the Craigslist issue from the USA; I note there are a number of USA based providers posting in the Vancouver CL for limited stays here this coming week.

I know a competitor to CL and he mentioned his company was lobbying to have the erotic section shut down in Canada too.
 

Larissa.t

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It don't say it. But I will say it. Many whores work for one thing. No child support from the man. My friend Georgia. She has 2 kids. The guy don't pay. She can work at Safeway? Babysitter cost more than pay check gets. So what can she do? Massage or be a whore. Money comes in fast. You are paid that day. No food? 1 session, at least a red for you. No one sais this. Prostitution is a gift. You can be homeless. Or you can suck a cock. The man don't have that choice. It's not good. But better than a garbage can as a bed. You got kids? You pay up buddy. No need to see them. No need to see her. But you pay. You made this kid. You pay. If you do this. Less SW's and MP workers. Some men pay to talk lol. I wish I get these men. I get some that talk. But they are nervous. They can't have sex. Noone pay me to talk.

They wish to know about this job? They can ask the whores. We'll tell you.
 

HB40

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She can work at Safeway? Babysitter cost more than pay check gets. So what can she do? Massage or be a whore. Money comes in fast. You are paid that day. No food? 1 session, at least a red for you. No one sais this. Prostitution is a gift.
Gee Larissa, you ever think about being a motivational speaker? :rolleyes:
 

Larissa.t

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Why do you care? It's me. I am a whore. I traded sex for money. I do the math. I work 25 days a month. 3 sessions a day. Almost 11 years. This is 9900 sessions. I ask you. If I don't sell sex I have 9900 sessions? No. Way less. I have a few hundred sessions. Some men nervous. Can't get hard. Too tired. On the plane too long. A few will just talk. So I sell sex. You got clients? They come for a kiss? For a cuddle only? They pay for sex. Maybe for some it's more. But first it's sex. It's sex. You don't like my words? I know it. I say my truth. How many talk? None get attacked? None get a stalker? Change their name? No bad dates? No rough men? No sneaking the condom off? I see on here. The fake review. I hate reviews. Some are about me. Some are lies too. You don't like this lie? A bad review? No one wants it. But you review your life. You say just the good. So this is like the lieing review. Most men are good. Most men even care. But they buy sex. You do this. You sell only cuddles. And a kiss. 1 brown. Soon you live in the garbage can. I tell you. I sell a fantasy. It's true. But the fantasy is always sex. This word whore. I ain't me. But it's what I do. You can use a soft word. But it don't change it.
 

Larissa.t

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I read your words. I don't speak for you. I sit and think. How can I say this. To compare. Now I have a way. Do you know the man? He is a bartender. You go and sit. Maybe he talks to you. He can listen. He can give you advice. He can help you forget. He can be many things. He can be your teacher. He can be your lover. He can be your friend. But you go to him. Why? You want a drink. If this man don't sell drinks. Will you go? Probably not. Why do men come to a whore? They come for sex. Maybe it's sex to feel love. Maybe it's sex to feel close. Maybe sex to make stress go away. But the reason is sex. Your menu. It's got FS? Take it off. Now what? Will these men come? Do they come as your friend? Do they come as your student? I doubt this. I don't say regs are bad. Many come as good people. Do you read my blog? I have good regs. When I am raped one comes. Cares for me. But it's one. Not 100. How many are friends later? After you walk away? I will say SP now. A sp has a menu. She can be many things. On top is always sex. And if not sex. The menu is gone. Why trick yourself? Do you know love? I do. Love don't come second. It comes first. You dont need a session for it.

I don't say all women are like me. I say some are. Will they speak? No. They don't. How come? Which man wants this fantasy? Man wishes to see a sexy girl. Sucking his cock. Not a broken whore. Why? He is a person. Has feelings for women. Most men are good. But I ask you. If he can't see the truth. What can he say? The fantasy. So you go march in the street. You say I want change. I want rights. I want protection. No one cares. They shrug. You ask why. They say. I read it. On the review board. Each whore loves her job. No bad dates. No rough. No pushing. No hitting. Some will always hate sps. Just like some hate a black man. Before they whip a black man. Hang him. It don't happen now. How come? The truth comes. Everyone can see it. If they don't see this? How they whip him. How they beat him. It still happens now.

I know too. You worry. My words not good. Bad for business. I think about this. I don't want this. To hurt your business. I have no anger for you. But I think. My words don't hurt buesiness. A good man will come still. He will pay. He sees now. This is a tough job. Maybe he is nicer and softer. He sees another be mean. He will stand up. You can see it. Look on this Review Board. Some good men. They stand up behind you. They learn the truth. They care for you. This is change. It comes slow. It can come. To have it come. We must see all. Not just the good stuff.
 
Apr 13, 2009
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I dont care what people say.....but " whore and hooker " ....... the word " HATE " doesnt come close as to how I feel about that or those words !! :mad::mad::mad:

people are people so show some f**king respect !!!! :mad::mad::mad:
Actually, as far as the word "Hooker" is concerned, it's origins had nothing to do with hate, or condescension, was not demeaning or anything else that was bad. Most times I hear the word used, it doesn't seem to be used in such negative ways as the word "whore" seems to be. I've used it myself many times, and certainly didn't mean any disrespect by it.
 
H

HubbaHubba

You may think my goal is marketing when I say I've never had a bad date, but it is the TRUTH. I am not broken. Perhaps I am stupid to see what I do as a positive thing in your eyes, but it is my choice. Just as seeing things as negative is yours.

Yes, you are right, the number one reason they see me is for sex. I do not deny that. I do, deny the term whore, however, because I am not one. I am a sexual services provider and expert. I do not do something I don't want to do-- which is generally the accepted definition of whore-- someone who will do something they hate, that goes against their values, for money or for some other reason. I value what I do. I value giving to other humans. I value making people happy. Giving a person a great experience for money to me, is the last thing that would make me a whore because I value the trait in me that can see past the negative aspects of sex with strangers. I am totally okay with loving people I don't know.

I enjoy giving people pleasure. Men and women. And YES, I have gone on no-sex, paid for dates.. not many, but I have.

I am not worried about what you say. I just see it as one side, and yes, there are many women who have spoken your side too. I am showing the other side. It is my experience and my right to be just as vocal as you are.

You mention changing attitudes. The change you speak of is already here. Unfortunately the circumstances you were in prevented you from finding all your clients to be good men. I am lucky to be an older, bigger woman who is not going to attract men who just want a gorgeous girl to fuck. I think perfect young girls are more likely to attract the whack jobs who want to hurt women. Like I say, I am lucky...
Well said SNL...I'ld love to hear VV weigh in on this because she has called herself a Wh*re many times and doesn't seem to have a problem with it. She has a way with words:D
 

Harmony-bc

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Well said SNL...I'ld love to hear VV weigh in on this because she has called herself a Wh*re many times and doesn't seem to have a problem with it. She has a way with words:D
Its all in how you say it. Larissa is using the term in a very derogatory way. The wisdom of whores is a very good book, and the title does not offend. I don't want to be a whore by Larissa's definition, but I'm fine with the word and the word hooker [which has a neat history behind it, btw]. As a matter of fact, the only word I really don't like is ho. Its so ghetto, and I am not a garden tool, lol. My favorite way to describe myself would be personal entertainer.
 

Pillowtalk

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Larissa, perhaps you could just, on this board especially when talking to sps or about them, refrain from using the whore word. It would be like a white guy using the N word as tho it is ok because his one black friend uses it. Consider it part of improving your socialization skills and getting along with others. Just use "sp", which is the preferred term. I think too when you stop using whore, you might stop using its negativity to define your past. You are much more than a word.

Also, there are tons of sps who do not provide sex/fs, and so yes a lot of guys out there call up sps and don't expect/get sex, nor is that why they are there. Since you are from Ontario, you would know about the massage places there where there is only massage and hj legally available. So no sp who works there does fs, nor does any client who shows up expect or is looking for fs/sex. (well, they might assume it, and even a bj might be offered, but in these places no one can "expect" it to be available at all.

I often thought it is very uncreative of any sp to not offer more than just fs/sex, since so many guys are looking for more or something else.
 

HB40

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Maybe he is nicer and softer. He sees another be mean. He will stand up. You can see it. Look on this Review Board. Some good men. They stand up behind you. They learn the truth.
Dood got banned, but he's here in spirit. Fight the good fight Larissa. :)
 

lenny

girls just wanna have fu
May 20, 2004
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Also, there are tons of sps who do not provide sex/fs, and so yes a lot of guys out there call up sps and don't expect/get sex, nor is that why they are there.
Absolutely. There are the cat woman SP's {some of whom post here}, plumber SP's, cleaning lady SP's, PC SP's, and hundreds more. While your plumber may offer free sex to a housewife, it cannot be expected. The same goes for well over 99% of SP's out there, whether in Vancouver, Thailand, Siberia or Timbucktwo. Sexual intercourse being offered, let alone given, is not the norm.

"A service provider is an entity that provides services to other entities. Usually this refers to a business that provides subscription or web service to other businesses or individuals. Examples of these services include Internet access, Mobile phone operator, and web application hosting. The term is more often applied to communication services than to other kinds of service industry."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Service_provider

"Service providers face obstacles selling services that goods-sellers rarely face. Services are not tangible, making it difficult for potential customers to understand what they will receive and what value it will hold for them. Indeed some, such as consultants and providers of investment services, offer no guarantees of the value for price paid.

"Since the quality of most services depends largely on the quality of the individuals providing the services, it is true that "people costs" are a high component of service costs. Whereas a manufacturer may use technology, simplification, and other techniques to lower the cost of goods sold, the service provider often faces an unrelenting pattern of increasing costs.

"Differentiation is often difficult. For example, how does one choose one investment adviser over another, since they often seem to provide identical services? Charging a premium for services is usually an option only for the most established firms, who charge extra based upon brand recognition."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Service_industry#Issues_for_service_providers
 

Man Mountain

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Even the most down-and-out sex worker now advertises on Craigslist (or did until recently), as well as on dating sites and in online chat forums. As a result, pimps' role in the sex economy has been diminished. In addition, the online trade has helped bring the sex business indoors, with johns and prostitutes increasingly meeting up in bars, in hotels, in their own homes or in apartments rented by groups of sex workers.
So, in trying to dispell one "myth", the writer potentially creates a new one. Just because the ads are online, it doesn't diminish the possibility that a pimp is the one posting those ads or is exerting some type of control over the woman being advertised. It can just make them less visible and obvious.

I saw an excerpt from the following CNN article on another site and decided to go have a look at it. There's also a video of a news story at the link that I recommend people take the time to watch. While it's about underage prostitution specfically, the context of pimps using online advertising can certainly be extrapolated to general adult services ads.

http://www.cnn.com/2010/CRIME/09/14/us.craigslist.sex.ads/index.html

Online sex ads complicate crackdowns on teen trafficking
By Steve Turnham and Amber Lyon, CNN Special Investigations Unit
September 15, 2010 9:52 a.m. EDT

(CNN) -- Behind every adult service ad on the internet is a story.

Sometimes it's a story of a grown woman who has chosen prostitution as a path to a better life. More often, it's a story of a woman being forced to sell her body by a pimp.

And then there are the children, and the mothers that miss them.

"They told me to look on Craigslist and it almost blew my mind," the mother of one missing 12-year-old told CNN. "She was there with a wig on. She was there in a purple negligee.

"She's a normal 12-year-old -- Hannah Montana, the Jonas Brothers, they're her favorite," the mother said. "She's always screaming and hollering and singing. She's a great young lady."

The same day the woman spoke to CNN, her daughter was rescued by police at a seedy hotel near Washington where she was being sold for sex. And she's not alone.

The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children's website contains thousands of posters of missing children. Many are girls, classified as "endangered runaways," and the center says more than fifty of them have been pushed into the sex trade. But that's just a snapshot, a tiny indicator of the true scale of the problem.

"Nobody knows what the real numbers are," said Ernie Allen, the NCMEC's chief executive. "I'm also confident that the internet has changed the dynamic of this whole problem. We're finding an astounding number of kids being sold for sex on the internet."

Allen said the best source of information on the number of underage girls being trafficked online are websites themselves. While online classified giant Craigslist shut down its "adult services" pages in early September, other sites like Backpage.com are filling the vacuum left behind, he said. And while there are clues in the way the ads are written, only a small fraction of them get referred to law enforcement or organizations like the NCMEC.

Backpage.com told CNN that it promptly responds to law enforcement inquiries, and says the site includes links to help users notify the NCMEC if they identify potential abuses.

Craigslist argues it has had a vigorous approach to vetting adult services ads. It says that in the 15 months before closing the adult services section altogether, it rejected 700,000 ads because they violated the website's rules, including advertising prostitution and ads "indicative of an underage person." Craigslist says ads are reported to NCMEC "when our manual reviewers see anything falling within NCMEC Cybertipline reporting guidelines."

But Allen said his organization, which is the nation's primary reporting agency for missing kids, received just 132 referrals from Craigslist over that same 15-month period.

"The small number of reports makes it difficult to get a sense of the true scope of the problem," Allen said. "We've seen lots of ads where there is obviously a young person in the ad. Now is she 18 or 17? Is she 22 or 12?"

Craigslist has done more than any other website with an adult services section to try to combat the problem of underage sex trafficking. It has cooperated with the FBI by providing evidence against pimps and required phone and credit card verification, so ads left a paper trail for the police to follow.

"Our frustration is that we've said to them if the person in the photo looks young, report it. If there's language in the ad that suggests that there may be the use of young people for prostitution, report it," Allen said. "It's eliminated the graphic pornography in the ads, it's eliminated blatant nudity. What it has not done is put a significant dent in the problem with child prostitution and child trafficking and that was the goal."

The other problem facing NCMEC and police departments across America is that the internet has changed the business of prostitution. Craigslist's decision to shut down adult services -- which followed pressure from the attorneys general in nearly 20 states -- will do little to alter that fundamental fact.

In Atlanta, Georgia, one of the country's busiest prostitution markets due to its position as a highway and air travel hub, police and prosecutors witnessed the effect of the internet on the business of prostitution firsthand.

Fulton County District Attorney Paul Howard told CNN that eight years ago, law enforcement began a serious crackdown on the pimps that control most underage victims, until the pimps vanished.

"At that time, we saw a number of underage girls standing on street corners, and they were usually standing there because a pimp had placed them there," Howard said. "After we started our crackdown, we began to notice that the numbers became fewer and fewer, and we were wondering, 'What's going on?'

"What we found is that there was a wholesale transformation from young girls standing on the streets to those same young girls being sold through Craigslist and other internet vendors," Howard said. "That has put us in a terrible position, because much of the illegal sex activity now goes on almost undetected by the police. The numbers we believe remain the same, but what has happened is that they are now out of sight."

A Georgia advocacy group called "A Future Not A Past" commissioned a research firm to survey men who admit to buying sex over the internet, and the results were staggering. Based on interviews with more than 200 men, the research study projected that 7,200 men a month were buying sex from adolescent girls in Georgia alone.

"It just took my breath away," said Kaffie McCullough, the group's director. "The buyers are able to go on computers in the privacy of their own house or home or apartment or hotel room, and just dial up and have the girl come to them. So you don't have to have the more unsafe part of driving in neighborhoods that aren't maybe your best neighborhoods."

Allen, McCullough and others believe the best way to combat the problem of online underage sex trafficking isn't through better screening tools, but through fear. As long as pimps and the men who buy girls for sex feel protected by the anonymity of the web, the trade will continue.

"Our goal in this from the beginning has been to dramatically increase the risk and eliminate the profitability because this is the treatment of children as commodities for sex sale, this is 21st-century slavery," Allen said. "It would be progress if pressure on this end had the effect of moving this problem back onto the streets."

That is a measure of how dangerous and widespread online trafficking of underage sex has become -- that the group leading the campaign to protect children would prefer to see the problem back on the streets.

"It's an outrageous thing to say, but one of our goals is to move these operators into some other illicit enterprise -- to get them out of the trafficking of human beings and into some other illegal business," Allen said.
 

Man Mountain

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You know why I like Larissa's posts? Because she's brutally honest. Her sentences are short, succinct and to the point. There's very little room for misinterpretation. Larissa, this was an awesome post! I especially agree with you about the last part that I've bolded.

I read your words. I don't speak for you. I sit and think. How can I say this. To compare. Now I have a way. Do you know the man? He is a bartender. You go and sit. Maybe he talks to you. He can listen. He can give you advice. He can help you forget. He can be many things. He can be your teacher. He can be your lover. He can be your friend. But you go to him. Why? You want a drink. If this man don't sell drinks. Will you go? Probably not. Why do men come to a whore? They come for sex. Maybe it's sex to feel love. Maybe it's sex to feel close. Maybe sex to make stress go away. But the reason is sex. Your menu. It's got FS? Take it off. Now what? Will these men come? Do they come as your friend? Do they come as your student? I doubt this. I don't say regs are bad. Many come as good people. Do you read my blog? I have good regs. When I am raped one comes. Cares for me. But it's one. Not 100. How many are friends later? After you walk away? I will say SP now. A sp has a menu. She can be many things. On top is always sex. And if not sex. The menu is gone. Why trick yourself? Do you know love? I do. Love don't come second. It comes first. You dont need a session for it.

I don't say all women are like me. I say some are. Will they speak? No. They don't. How come? Which man wants this fantasy? Man wishes to see a sexy girl. Sucking his cock. Not a broken whore. Why? He is a person. Has feelings for women. Most men are good. But I ask you. If he can't see the truth. What can he say? The fantasy. So you go march in the street. You say I want change. I want rights. I want protection. No one cares. They shrug. You ask why. They say. I read it. On the review board. Each whore loves her job. No bad dates. No rough. No pushing. No hitting. Some will always hate sps. Just like some hate a black man. Before they whip a black man. Hang him. It don't happen now. How come? The truth comes. Everyone can see it. If they don't see this? How they whip him. How they beat him. It still happens now.

I know too. You worry. My words not good. Bad for business. I think about this. I don't want this. To hurt your business. I have no anger for you. But I think. My words don't hurt buesiness. A good man will come still. He will pay. He sees now. This is a tough job. Maybe he is nicer and softer. He sees another be mean. He will stand up. You can see it. Look on this Review Board. Some good men. They stand up behind you. They learn the truth. They care for you. This is change. It comes slow. It can come. To have it come. We must see all. Not just the good stuff.
I'ld love to hear VV weigh in on this because she has called herself a Wh*re many times and doesn't seem to have a problem with it. She has a way with words:D
Very interesting point, Hubba. She has used the word more than once and not only in reference to herself but in reference to others in the profession. And yet, when she has, not one post by any SP taking umbrage with her use of the word. But I guess you do your best not to offend the "alpha" of the paid advertisers. :D

Its all in how you say it. Larissa is using the term in a very derogatory way.
You know how much I like you, Harmony, but I have to call you on this. Larissa used the word as a reference to the profession and with no other "derogatory" intent. But she was called on it immediately by others taking offence with "the word" itself. That put Larissa on her heels and left to defend her point of view, which in my opinion, is as valid as anyone else's posting in this thread.

This was from her first post in this thread:

It don't say it. But I will say it. Many whores work for one thing. No child support from the man.

They wish to know about this job? They can ask the whores. We'll tell you.
No "derogatory" inference in that at all. In fact, this excerpt is from that same post:

Prostitution is a gift. You can be homeless. Or you can suck a cock. It's not good. But better than a garbage can as a bed.
So, while she acknowledges that it's not a good choice, as it was clearly demeaning TO HER, even she still saw it as a "gift" that could keep her from even worse circumstances.

Larissa, perhaps you could just, on this board especially when talking to sps or about them, refrain from using the whore word. It would be like a white guy using the N word as tho it is ok because his one black friend uses it. Consider it part of improving your socialization skills and getting along with others. Just use "sp", which is the preferred term.
Here's my take on it. In general, I dislike the word immensely as well. But I would never tell her to censor herself in this manner. From having read her blog (yes -- from the beginning), I think I get WHY she uses the word. It's a way for her to empower herself through it by not sugar coating it with politically correct niceties. If she censors herself in the way you suggest and the way others would like her to because they're offended by the connotations of the term, then she may lose the perception of some of the power she's gained for herself in the struggle she's written about on her blog. Right now, I feel like she "owns" the word and doesn't let the word own her. Don't let the word have the power. Have the power in yourself to be better than the word.

Having said all that, I hope for Larissa that the day comes when she no longer feels it necessary to use it because I do agree with you on this:

I think too when you stop using whore, you might stop using its negativity to define your past. You are much more than a word.
But I do think she needs to come to that point in her journey on her own and can't be forced there by anyone else.
 
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InTheBum

Well-known member
Dec 31, 2004
3,087
91
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I would add...many many ppl believe that ALL prostitues carry an STD and will likely give you one...
 

lenny

girls just wanna have fu
May 20, 2004
4,101
76
48
your GF's panties
So, in trying to dispell one "myth", the writer potentially creates a new one. Just because the ads are online, it doesn't diminish the possibility that a pimp is the one posting those ads or is exerting some type of control over the woman being advertised.
Good point, i think.

CNN said:
(CNN) -- Behind every adult service ad on the internet is a story.

Sometimes it's a story of a grown woman who has chosen prostitution as a path to a better life. More often, it's a story of a woman being forced to sell her body by a pimp.
More often?
 

Man Mountain

Too Old To Die Young
Oct 29, 2006
3,851
29
0
Vancouver
More often?
CNN's bias. Not mine. (I get that you meant that though since you attributed the quote to CNN -- thanks for that)
 

Bad Santa

Seeking Sexy Helpers
Feb 26, 2010
1,111
28
48
South Pole
The more I read Larrissa.t, the more I wonder, is she for real??? This is just too weird.

Example: Look how well she writes in one of her earliest posts on PERB:

I think it's cute to see guys that get concerned how they will appear to the girl. Bug123, most working girls just ask you to be polite and maintain proper hygiene. When you shower wash yourself everywhere and brush your teeth. It also helps if you trim down there if you are bushy. When I was in the industry a clients looks meant less than how clean he was and the respect he showed me. Some of my fav clients were older men in their 50s who were bigger and had lost some of their hair but were nice people.
And look how much her language skills have deteriorated in her recent posts. It's not just spelling and grammer, it's her whole attitude. She seems like a different person.

Check out her recent post:

It don't say it. But I will say it. Many whores work for one thing. No child support from the man. My friend Georgia. She has 2 kids. The guy don't pay. She can work at Safeway? Babysitter cost more than pay check gets. So what can she do? Massage or be a whore. Money comes in fast. You are paid that day. No food? 1 session, at least a red for you. No one sais this. Prostitution is a gift. You can be homeless. Or you can suck a cock. The man don't have that choice. It's not good. But better than a garbage can as a bed. You got kids? You pay up buddy. No need to see them. No need to see her. But you pay. You made this kid. You pay. If you do this. Less SW's and MP workers. Some men pay to talk lol. I wish I get these men. I get some that talk. But they are nervous. They can't have sex. Noone pay me to talk.

They wish to know about this job? They can ask the whores. We'll tell you.
What happened? Brain damage, too many drugs or does she or he just think we're all stupid??

Maybe Dood can answer this for us when and if he returns. He seems to have all the answers.:rolleyes:
 
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Larissa.t

New member
May 22, 2010
29
0
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Gone to Greece
Hi Bad Santa

This is Mark aka Dood. I did indeed write some of her original posts because she felt I could better convey her feelings with my writing. The reason? Larissa suffers from something known as "Fetal Alcohol Syndrome". Her mother is a very heavy drinker and drank and smoke while she was in the womb. Just so you're aware, another maligned SP on this forum also suffers from FAS and this forum has been even more critical and nasty to her. Think hard, you'll get it. If not , ask Krustee, he will give you the NADF on the situation. Larissa's blog "Walking Away" is all her words. Not a single word was influenced nor written by me. I met Larissa at the World Health Club in early September 2009. She left for Greece in July 2010. We lived together on 26th Ave in Calgary until she left. One of the final chapters of her story has her walking through "Mission" in Calgary, Alberta. The places she mentioned are where we went. If you are a long time PERBITE, you will clearly recall me mentioning where I lived during the oil boom in Calgary. A specific SP on this forum can confirm that. I moved to Edmonton as I'd met a woman but that failed and I returned to Calgary. I live in Mission today.

Not sure what else I should say other than goodnight. We've spend several weeks together, most of her blog was written at the Purple Perk, a coffee bar in Mission-Cliff Bungalow, a downtown area of Calgary. Google it. It's there. If you'd like to mail me or call me, please do so. I'll probably catch real shit for doing this, but that's fine. Goodnight.
 

Miss*Bijou

Sexy Troublemaker
Nov 9, 2006
3,136
44
48
Montréal
We might also consider the word whore.

American Heritage features a prominent sidebar in its third edition dictionary, which says that the Indo-European root ka, to like or desire, is the source. "From the stem karo derived from this root came the prehistoric Common Germanic word horaz with the underlying meaning 'one who desires' and the effective meaning adulterer. From this word came the Old English word hore, the ancestor of Modern English whore. The same stem produced the Latin carus, 'dear', from which came Modern English caress, cherish and charity, the highest form of love." So remember that when you hear any of these words: they are all part of the same word group as whore.

Quote from The whore in context


Written by Norma Jean Almodovar, director of COYOTE Los Angeles, the poem has a specific history.

In her capacity as one of the organizers of the 1997 International Congress on Prostitution, Norma Jean coordinated an exhibit of Whore Art. One of the most distressing encounters she experienced was with a politically correct female academic who insisted that prostitutes could not use the term 'whore' to describe themselves.

The poem was written to explain why the Prostitutes' Rights Movement prefers the word 'whore'. It also captures the emotional distress that women are inflicting upon each other over the issue of prostitution.



The "Whore" Word

I am a woman...and if I get out of line, you call me a whore
And if I have a good time, you call me a whore
And if I speak my mind - you call me a whore.
You throw the word at me when I stand on my own
You use the word often to hold me down.
You ever remind me that whores are the worst -
the outcasts, pariahs, without any worth.
"You're just a whore!" you repeat like a mantra -
Like a shot of cold water to dampen my joy.
"You're just a whore - so what do you know?
and what do I care of whatever you think!"
"You're a whore," is a dagger you drive through my heart
as you pound into my psyche that name.
You equate everything that I ever thought good - with that word
which you spit out like venom - to show me how awful I am.
But I ask you, please tell me, just what is a whore?
A whore says what she think and she thinks for herself...
She's independent and feisty - so what? is there more?
Why does it frighten you so to know I've a mind of my own
and don't need you permission to live or to love or to be?
And what if I tell you
I don't care anyone if you call me a whore...
What will you call me now?



Quote from A feminist defense of a women's right to sell sex
(Note: The author chose to use the word "whore" throughout the text)




I agree with Man Mountain's comments 110%. I personally do not feel offended by Larissa's use of the word whore. I don't feel she uses it in a derogatory way and I think that the word itself can have completely different connotation . It's understandable that we tend to be sensitive about the word, as unfortunately it is most often used in its negative context.


“It would be idiotic to expect the mere adoption of a new word to result in the eradication from society of the offensive attitudes that ride on the use of the old word. As long as the offensive attitudes persist, they will eventually infect whatever words are around that denote their target,” she said. “Language is just the vehicle by which we express the oppression that exists in the world … as long as the odious attitudes persist, language will invent new means to express them. Odious attitudes disappear by education, not by censoring words.”


Weighted words



When I read one of Larissa's posts here or on her blog, I do not see the words or views as reflections of sex workers or sex work as a whole. I notice a lot of people interpret what she writes as either being a misrepresentation of other sex workers, their experiences, their lives and then assume this reflects negatively on them as well as the industry.. I can somewhat understand this however I think that it isn't what it's about and I can understand to a degree, the reaction some of you are having to what she says and how she says it but I feel it is very unfair to ask her to change her views, her words and water down her opinions so as not to affect others who do not agree and do not feel that way or feel it reflects negatively on them. If that is her point of view, then whether it's positively or negatively - how would it affect anyone else than herself?


When I read Larissa's comments, even if sometimes I may be shocked or my views may be polar opposite to hers, are just as valid as anyone else's. There isn't one voice, one view that applies to every other individual sex worker. There are as many voices as there are of us, so I believe it would be silly for anyone to read any one sp's comments and from that, assume it applies to every other sp out there. So why would this be hurtful to other escorts?


I can understand why some women choose their words more carefully to avoid negativity and prefer to avoid certain discussions or topics. I can understand that some prefer to keep their comments lighter but I don't think it's fair to expect that everyone do so as well. if an sp or ex sp . I also think that her straightforwardness is a bit shocking to some, which I can understand.. Maybe it's just me, but I think that once you get passed the brutal honesty, I don't feel her intentions are as harsh or as bleak as her words lead to believe. I don't know.. I'm just not seeing it the way some of you are, I guess.. I personally don't find it offensive.





She may be a massage therapist who grants what is politely called 'release' at the end of a bodywork session. She may be a nurse who, when privately bathing a paralyzed person, includes sexual gratification. She may be a sex writer who tells the truth. She may be a dominatrix, or dom, who provides a forum for what is called power exchange and allows men to be submissive in her presence. She may be a working prostitute who truly cares for and strives to heal the pain of her clients. She may be a social activist who teaches women to masturbate.


She is any woman who can surrender enough of her personal identity into an erotic experience that the Goddess may be experienced directly through her. In a society where God is purported to be a man, this is the issue.


You may recognize the sacred whore as the lover who does not put a bargaining value on her sexual favors. You may notice that she is unusually responsive to your specific needs for pleasure or comfort. You may know her as a woman who belongs to no man, but can offer herself freely to any person.

...


In summary, she is a woman who truly feels good about sexual pleasure, who understands and accepts that it is necessary, and who is not bound by the conventional rules of society. She is a woman who decides for herself when it comes to her own sexuality. Many, many women aspire to this, often secretly. Innumerable men want and need them. The derogatory stereotype of whore is often used as a cover story for men's inability to deal with their jealousy and habitual treatment of women as property. What men who play this game usually fail to notice is that they are prisoners of the same set of beliefs. But I have also seen many women balk at the possibility of their own freedom to choose. And as much as men are blamed for the sexual imprisonment of women, women do it to one another. One sexually free women among many who are using sex for its commodity value can cause a lot of trouble. Where sex has a value other than pleasure, one woman who conveys any other idea can spoil the whole game. Hence, as many or more women are as responsible for casting their sisters as whores as are men.


The ongoing emergence of the sacred whore is part of a long process of reclaiming of gender, sex and sexuality that has taken many forms in the past century, from women's suffrage (the struggle to have the vote) to the sexual revolution to gay rights. And yet we don't need to wrap pleasure in the garb of spirituality or politics to make it legitimate. Pleasure has a place unto itself. Whores know that, as do the people who associate with them. We would do well to question what the fuss about being a whore is in the first place. Do we have the privilege to sell or give away what is ours? Or does the fact that prostitution is illegal point to the deeper fact that what a woman has is not really hers?

Quote from The whore in context
 
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