Recently, I had my first sexual experience with an SP last week. She was very nice and pretty. Until then, I have never done anything with a woman before. I am in my mid twenties. I didn't feel much of anything during the blowjob and sex so I wasn't able to cum and had trouble maintaining my erection. Has anyone else had this problem before? If so, was there anything that helped? I see people saying that for their first time, they basically came right away, while for me, it felt like I could last forever since I didn't really feel any sensation.
First Time With SP
- Thread starter Haelimc
- Start date
You have to relax and take the mental game away from the moment. You need to understand that its not a race to the finish line. Who wants to finish right away? Especially if you have booked a provider that doesnt have msog. You should be proud of not finishing right away and focus on being in the moment without all the head game clutter suffocating your mind. Anxiety and other mind game issues create less electrical pleasure pulses throughout your body. What you want is to be in the moment with a relaxed state of mind.
The goal is to get to place where a flowing sexual electric pleasure current is running back and forth freely. Forget about your worries and just enjoy the moment. Tell yourself how lucky you are to be in this moment. Focus on the personal connections that you are sharing together at that moment in time. Body to body contact, hands all over eachother, kissing, sucking, thrusting, being inside of her, getting lost in her eyes.....the list goes on. Feel it. Live it. Breath it.
Out of all the people in the world you are the only one experiencing this moment right now at that given time. Connect with how special that feeling is.
Work on removing the mental walls blocking the flow of electric mind to body connections that you are having troubles with and you should experience more flowing sessions with less hiccups. It might not happen right away but with practice you will grow and experience new territory. You should be happy that you lasted that long because many guys on this site have issues with finishing fast and it can hinder the experience. Especially when its a no msog session. If you can hold on closer to the end for one big finale it could take some weight off your mind instead of worrying about performing or finishing.
My issue is not being able to finish without me pleasuring myself to help push my release closer unless its a long haul pleasured experience or a HE.
I wouldnt call that an issue because I love a long built up bigger finish. I want to feel like my pipes are over flowing and ready to burst. I also love taking control at the end for some super soaker fun if its a cof or cob.
The goal is to get to place where a flowing sexual electric pleasure current is running back and forth freely. Forget about your worries and just enjoy the moment. Tell yourself how lucky you are to be in this moment. Focus on the personal connections that you are sharing together at that moment in time. Body to body contact, hands all over eachother, kissing, sucking, thrusting, being inside of her, getting lost in her eyes.....the list goes on. Feel it. Live it. Breath it.
Out of all the people in the world you are the only one experiencing this moment right now at that given time. Connect with how special that feeling is.
Work on removing the mental walls blocking the flow of electric mind to body connections that you are having troubles with and you should experience more flowing sessions with less hiccups. It might not happen right away but with practice you will grow and experience new territory. You should be happy that you lasted that long because many guys on this site have issues with finishing fast and it can hinder the experience. Especially when its a no msog session. If you can hold on closer to the end for one big finale it could take some weight off your mind instead of worrying about performing or finishing.
My issue is not being able to finish without me pleasuring myself to help push my release closer unless its a long haul pleasured experience or a HE.
I wouldnt call that an issue because I love a long built up bigger finish. I want to feel like my pipes are over flowing and ready to burst. I also love taking control at the end for some super soaker fun if its a cof or cob.
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I would add that it's easier to feel that when there's a connection and chemistry with the provider you meet.
It could be normal to feel distant when meeting with your first provider, which might prevent you from connecting with the sensations in your body and enjoying the moment. It could be anxiety, stress, novelty, inexperience, etc. It happened once, and it's normal to not "perform" the first time you are with someone.
if you are accustomed to self pleasure, it may take time to be able to transition to someone else pleasuring you. You're used to it feeling a certain way and if they can't do that then it may make it difficult for you to enjoy yourself. It can take a bit of time. Also it's a good idea to avoid masturbating a few days prior to your next visit. Good luck and exercise moderation in both your self pleasure and paid visits.
Giselle is correct on the second point, and although not wrong on the first point, the first point has little relevance here.
The best advice really can only come from gentlemen who have been in your shoes (sorry ladies, it is not possible for you to know or understand what we men go through) and @Bunghole1 has given great perspective.
First time encounters can be tricky for the inexperienced, and following an experience as stated by OP, it is not likely he would want to see the same SP again as embarrassment is an over powering feeling.
So how does one build a "connection"? Real answer is you don't. There is, in most cases, only the perception of a connection, as your relationship will almost always be Client-SP only.
Building a comfort level towards an SP is achievable by starting with sessions that are non performative such as a simple massage with HE, or a session with just a BJ and cuddling, etc.
Book again with them on more sessions while building the activity level each time until you feel you are a superstar.
Thanks for the replies. Yeah I guess I just need to relax, get out of my head, and enjoy the moment. I got self conscious during the sex part because I felt like my movements were super uncoordinated and started thinking whether or not the SP was actually enjoying herself or which kind of psyched me out.
Ideally for my next session I would want the SP to take the lead and to give me some "tips and tricks" but I'm not sure if that is something that SP's would actually want to do. I'm sure things will get better the more experience I get.
Ideally for my next session I would want the SP to take the lead and to give me some "tips and tricks" but I'm not sure if that is something that SP's would actually want to do. I'm sure things will get better the more experience I get.
There are definitely SPs willing to do this. The key is to tell them up front that you're nervous and inexperienced. Just as in any customer service industry, they want their customers to have great experiences so that those customers come back again and again.
I was nervous during my first GFE, and I think the SP could tell. After engaging in conversation a bit, she approached me and started kissing me. This immediately eased most of my nervousness and soon our tongues were frolicking and I quickly got aroused. She then led me by the hand and had me lay on the bed while she kissed my body and pleasured me orally. Once I was ready to return the favour, she told me where to kiss and when to move onto the next thing. The point being, she helped me through my first GFE, and it was such a great experience for me that I returned for several more visits.
Switch off all porn, on instagram, go to algorithm settings and adjust to stop showing you women. After a couple of days you start to recover your sensitivity even just to thinking about sex. Also repeat with an sp a couple of times and don’t rule out blue pills. I’m healthy but I use them for all my SPs because when I see them it’s about properly draining myself, and stress relief and then use your natural erections in your normal sex life
