First date - WTF IS GOING ON HERE?!?!?

[UhOh]

Hy's was and might still be considered by some the top steakhouse in Vancouver/Whistler

as most know, dining caters to a wide range of taste, style, and budget

pretty hard to enjoy fine dining for a couple with wine for much less that $150 but of course the budget conscious would probably be able to find better value around town (depending on your definition of value)

doubt there is a need to label fine dining as pretentious, especially in Vancouver which is very casual by restaurant standards

don't see what is wrong for people who have means to enjoy something elevated from what they would eat at home from time to time, for many its fun and makes you feel good....

$150 at Hy's was described here as eating from the kids menu so reading that one would assume you might need to double that bill or more. If I can't find a good steak meal for two at less than $300 then I'll be firing up the bbq and eating at home.

 

[sybian]

Hy's has a standard of Triple Grade "A" ,and under 28 months , Angus or Angus Hybrid crosses, grass fed, and / or limited grain finishing.....on exclusive minimum contract. They also have their own custom cutting, so they purchase due to grade and age, and only off the hook......which means by the side of beef, and wholesale, then they handle it themselves.
They only buy the best......but.....I'm a bit biased in my opinion, but you've probably already figured that out.

 

[huggzy]

God some of you guys are dicks! lol! To answer some of your questions:

1. I don't know what the final bill was...I said $150 but it could definitely have been more after taxes and tip now that I think about it. That said I drink very rarely and had water only that evening so I didn't add a $100 wine bill on top of that. She had a glass of wine and that was it. I had encouraged her to drink to her heart's content (thinking I was going to pay of course). Maybe she might typically drink more and the bill could have ended up being $300 but in hindsight maybe she drank light either because a) I wasn't drinking, or b) she wanted to be in good behaviour, or c) because she has a tight budget and figured she was going to pay. I don't have a clue. If it was $300 maybe she's only paying for half...I don't know. Fucking cynics - no I wasn't squeezing pennies you fucktards. If I can pay for escorts I can pay for a nice dinner.

2. Of course I liked it. Of course I got a good impression. No I'm not cynical or suspicious. Yes it was a bit of a brag. And yeah it was a story made long when it could have been short...fuck. I should have put a tldr summary at the bottom for some of you dicks! lol

3. Good on some of you if this happens to you regularly. If it was a cup of coffee I probably wouldn't have bothered to write what I did. I was impressed particularly because it wasn't a $10 bill.

4. No, she doesn't have a clue what I do for a living because she never asked. Maybe her father taught her that too. I HATE social media so no, she didn't check me on Facebook or Instagram or LinkedIn or whatever some of you metro betas are always playing on because I'm not on any of them except for LinkedIn, and I take my name off of that when I'm employed. She seems an intelligent girl so maybe she deduced what range of employ I might have due to the shoes or clothes I wear, or how I talk, or something else but I don't do any of that over the top either. But its not like I'm a CEO of a Fortune 500 company or anything so its not like she's looking to hook up with me because she sees a gold mine down the line.

I only commented that I know she isn't earning much, and that I certainly can afford to pay for things myself and it would have been obvious to her. Most females in my experience would have leapt at that (edit...ALL females would have in my experience)

 

[huggzy]

from an old fart,

I think if a guy pays, his belief is that he is owed something in return, the more he pays the more he is owed.
I think she is just trying to be modern, and cut through this bullshit, her thoughts, but somewhere deep down in
her subconscious she and her dad its telling her , you don't want to owe anybody anything.


I don't really understand money, I mean I have always worked,
will most likely always work,
if I was a billionaire I wouldn't be for long I would do so much charity work it would make your head spin, easy come easy go.
I think guys like bill gates and buffets are hoarders as much as anything, do some good for Christ sake,
they are sucking money out of the economy as much as anything,

I like an old fashion women, I would be insulted actually I think if this happened to me. dutch minimum but even that I would fight.

She didn't alpha me because it was done before I even knew. I didn't even have a chance to object so how do you fight it? Go to the ATM machine and stick some cash down her bra against her objections?!?!?

She smiled, hugged my arm and said to pay for next time. I want a next time and I'm a logical guy so that's a tough argument to rail against.

And I wasn't going to spoil her moment because she seemed pretty happy about doing it. Hard to be insulted by it...I honestly think I would have been selfish if I tried to fight it.

Fuck...I still don't know how to handle that if it happened that way again. Was totally unprepared and caught off guard by it!!!

 

[huggzy]

Hahaha! So true.

Is it possible that she was just being polite? And by picking up the tab, she avoided any expectation on the male's part that she would have to put out in exchange for the dinner.

Then, there's also the theory that she was making an "investment" into luring a potential sugar daddy. That theory doesn't hold water. Yes, the OP may be much more established than her but what good is a rich boyfriend when he's a penny-pincher, as evidenced by the $150 dinner for two at Hy's?

"Penny-pincher"??? Presumptuous dick! lol!

Sure, she could have been polite and avoiding expectations by picking up the bill, but I think if that were the case she would have likely suggested going someplace a little more low key then beforehand.

And did she see a "sugar daddy"? I don't know about that. It was just dinner...we didn't pile into the Lambo and go to my penthouse suite at the Shangri-La after that. Plus she's not 20 y/o...I think I would have had to up my game a bit more to convince her I might have those kind of resources. haha!

 

[huggzy]

I was kind of thinking the same thing. The one and only time I went to Hy's the bill was over $300. And, yes, I paid.

Fawk. Maybe your her sister? lol!

 

[LM987]

Since she had "talked to dad" before the date, dad may have given her some $$ for the evening to help her out.

 

[ddcanz]

Fuck...I still don't know how to handle that if it happened that way again.

Like I said before, if this is hard for you then maybe best to step aside so she can share herself with someone who appreciates her and gets it.
Or, alternatively, maybe just go with it awhile and learn a thing or two? I mentioned earlier she sounds like a keeper.
Why do you need to fight it?
Why the urge to rail against it?
And what's to handle, really?
You come across here as very controlling.
And you still don't seem to get it.
I can understand that you may have been caught off guard. I'm old school myself, that way.
And good to hear you weren't insulted- that would indeed have been selfish.
And btw, I do recall from some of your much older posts that you can be a very generous (albeit in those instances somewhat naïve) kind of guy.

 

[huggzy]

Like I said before, if this is hard for you then maybe best to step aside so she can share herself with someone who appreciates her and gets it.
Or, alternatively, maybe just go with it awhile and learn a thing or two? I mentioned earlier she sounds like a keeper.
Why do you need to fight it?
Why the urge to rail against it?
And what's to handle, really?
You come across here as very controlling.
And you still don't seem to get it.
I can understand that you may have been caught off guard. I'm old school myself, that way.
And good to hear you weren't insulted- that would indeed have been selfish.
And btw, I do recall from some of your much older posts that you can be a very generous (albeit in those instances somewhat naïve) kind of guy.

Ok bro. Step back and take a breath. You're taking some of my tongue in cheek posts a little too seriously.

 

[huggzy]

..............................................................................

 

[huggzy]

That thought crossed my mind as well.

This wasn't a "before date" talk guys. This was an anecdote she shared with me that she had with dad a long time ago previously. Pretty sure dad didn't know I existed prior to that and no, she's not a child. ;-)

 

[Cliffy Ronaldo]

"Thanks for dinner, that was really unexpected. How about I treat you next time?"

 

[jgg]

Step up or move on. Too much drama. Hardly life altering.

 

[stamina]

It sounds like you don't like the opinions that were offered to you. If that's the case, you shouldn't have asked for people's opinions in the first place.

Secondly, if you didn't want our opinions but posted just to brag about a real life encounter on an escort review board - well that just speaks for itself.

 

[UhOh]

Hy's has a standard of Triple Grade "A" ,and under 28 months , Angus or Angus Hybrid crosses, grass fed, and / or limited grain finishing.....on exclusive minimum contract. They also have their own custom cutting, so they purchase due to grade and age, and only off the hook......which means by the side of beef, and wholesale, then they handle it themselves.
They only buy the best......but.....I'm a bit biased in my opinion, but you've probably already figured that out.

I admit there's a lot about beef I don't know. My meals are simple, some sushi or similar basic dish.

 

[Foretc]

Thanks for sharing the story, idk whats with all the negative feedbacks, I stopped reading after page 2. I think this woman is something special and you should hold on to her longer to find out, she might be worth the long haul.

 

[sybian]

Re: negative feedback
If someone has something good going in their life, who cares what the cynics of perb have to say

.........Yup.....

 

[Reference3A]

OK boys. My mind is about to fucking explode. You gotta tell me what's going on here because I've never heard this one before.

I went on a first date with a woman last week.

She was by far and away the most attractive girl I've been out with since my first wife. She's younger than me by about 8 years. She has a decent job but is going to nursing school part-time too so should have good future career prospects, but living in Vancouver she's just scraping by on her current wages right now. I'm not sure she knows what I do because she hasn't asked and I don't recall telling her but I earn far more than she does.

I'm certain that she had as awesome a time as I did on this date as the conversation was fantastic and there was lots of laughter and chemistry going. A little touching and alot of smiling and talk about future get-togethers was had.

I had felt like having a good steak that night so I had earlier asked if she was ok with us going to Hy's. She didn't blink and was cool with that. Of course in this day and age where no one knows how to deal with feminism, chivalry and paying for the bill I have all but assumed the check would come to me...I don't give it alot of thought. (I've only experienced a couple times where the date actually asked to split the bill but its always a weird experience because you feel like you have to decline it and it becomes some weird negotiation because you don't know if she's just testing you and all the bullshit that goes with it, etc.)

So at the end of dinner I ask for the bill. I'm sure its probably coming out to about $150 or so.

The waiter tells me its been paid and I'm a bit miffed. "By who?" He just thanked us for coming to their restaurant without acknowledging my question and left us (and thinking back he had a smile on his face too I'm sure). I'm still wondering and look at my date. She's got a nice smile on her but is looking coyly away.

"You paid for this?!?! The whole thing??!?! WTF?!?!" The thoughts racing through my head were a bit of a jumble...I couldn't figure out if I should be thrilled or completely emasculated...I've never even considered how I would react if my date paid for the whole thing, only if she offered to pay for half the bill. I knew that $150 would be a hefty bill for her and this would be a hit for her.

I had to ask her what she was doing and why would she do this, and that I really should insist on paying at minimum half of the bill. That I just had to do that at least. And why would she sneak off and do this before the bill came so that I could at least have a chance to offer. And she wouldn't take it but instead offered me her arm and an explanation as we walked out to the car...

Feminism has fucked up the entire dating culture and it has become a bit of a war between the sexes, and the first date whose paying the bill bullshit has really complicated shit up for both women and men. That song and dance walking on glass crap had become this whole test between everyone and it seems that no one can win no matter whether the man pays the whole bill or the woman pays for half, or if one or the other is feigning to cover the woman's share.

She had a long talk about this thing with her father who gave to her advice (what he called a little "trick") to blow a guy's mind. He said eliminate the bullshit. If you like the guy pay the whole bill on the first date but don't do it in front of him.

Don't get into this feigning, negotiating, bullshit back and forth with him at check time at the dinner table because no one can win then. Do it beforehand so that its done and handled. And then tell him he can look after the second date if they go on one. If your date treated you well but you don't foresee a second date do the right thing and pay for half. If the guy's a douchebag...well anything is fair game then and see how much he will pay then. He said to her "I promise you that you will reap the rewards for this."

He told her that no woman does this shit...but she said her father always tells her that she's not just any woman either. She decided that she liked this tack because it was as fair as any other scenario.

I'm not sure I could walk straight after that. I couldn't care less about the $150 or $75 or whatever. The gesture though...wtf?!?!? My head was exploding...the feminist brainwashing our society has been whitewashed with has completely had me unprepared for this kind of thing!!!! Because now not only did I like her but now I like her father too...


What the fuck is going on here boys????? Is this a trap??????? Am I going to get sucked down into some sort of black hole and have my soul ripped away from me?!?!?!?

Scared to shit. Tell me what's going on.

A lady did something nice for you and your complaining or "scared to shit".
Its a silly reaction. You should've just hugged, kissed and thanked her.
Classy, generous women do this from time to time.
You get the next bill. Simple really.

 

[Stamkos]

Re: negative feedback
If someone has something good going in their life, who cares what the cynics of perb have to say

..........:amen:.........

 

[UhOh]

Re: negative feedback
If someone has something good going in their life, who cares what the cynics of perb have to say

Who cares? The person who started the thread with WTF is going on here?