Falling in love with an sp

[Morrigan]

HA HA HA!! Although your comment might be offensive, at least its honest. And about Manhattan's comment about SPs being manipulative.... maybe in your experience, but there are exceptions to the rule. It depends on how mature the girl is and what her priorities are. An SP with a habit is far more likely to be a money-monger than one who is clean. And may I remind you that there are some SPs out there with families (yes some are actually married!). Obviously they can't be manipulative since they are still working to pay for their half of the mortgage and child-rearing costs. And in my relationship, I'm the one who showers my man with gifts. Nirvana box set just cause, Simpons season 5, video games, dinners, randomly buy him cards and leave them in a place where he'll find it after I go....
I don't argue that many SPs may be money hungry manipulators, but not all of us are.

 

[Lurker 123]

As I have suggested,add up all your expense with her so far. Then you can see a better picture.

I believe your GF knows more or less how much you earn a month. If you expense is more than your income ,then you are in trouble!

That was the case with me.I was far too generous and naive.As Manhattan suggested SPs are infamous for being manipulated. That was exactly how I was being milked. Within half a year,I had spent over $20000( after tax money) just for her.

I was an idiot then!

 

[wolverine]

This is not the place to be asking guys who pay for sex and companionship for relationship advice.

Why not? Many pooners here do have SOs. And several of them have had SPs as SOs.

 

[Lurker 123]

. And in my relationship, I'm the one who showers my man with gifts. Nirvana box set just cause, Simpons season 5, video games, dinners, randomly buy him cards and leave them in a place where he'll find it after I go....

In you case,it sounds to me the other way round. I have also heard many stories how Sps were being manipulated by their bf. You have been spoiling your bf with gifts. I believe I would love to be your BF as well!

 

[Morrigan]

He's never once asked me to buy him anything. He's actually told me to stop buying him shit. I'm just a generous person by nature, I am. Besides, most of the gifts I get for him I enjoy, too. Borrow the box set, play the video games... So there is a payoff for me in the gifts I give for him....

 

[TheNewGuy]

Why not? Many pooners here do have SOs. And several of them have had SPs as SOs.

Thank you for making my point. This is exactly why not to ask people here for healthy relationship advice.

 

[wolverine]

Thank you for making my point. This is exactly why not to ask people here for healthy relationship advice.

I think you're painting with a rather large brush, my friend.

 

[DDawGG]

Tony

Always trust your gut feeling. You feel this way for a reason. If you are the jelous type, a relationship with an ex-SP isn't the wisest choice.

If you are looking for a relationship, there are so many single women in Kelowna it's rediculous.

Go to Rose's any Sat. night and have some fun.

Lots of fish in the sea, you just need enough money to rent the fishing boat

 

[BlueBells]

Why not? Many pooners here do have SOs. And several of them have had SPs as SOs.

Thank you for making my point. This is exactly why not to ask people here for healthy relationship advice.

I think you're painting with a rather large brush, my friend.

Hey!!!!! back off mister new guy, wolvie's right you're making a wide-sweeping statement there .... I'm ex-sp and while I may not be perfect, my head is firmly attached to my shoulders, and I, among many other sp's & pooners, am worth dating. We're not too shabby at the whole advice- relationship either.

 

[Edmonton Mod]

i agree with wolvie. well it is newguys choice....he doesn't have to ask for advice. i am single and don't poon when i date, i think it is cheating but that is just me. Lets have a bit of an open mind newguy!

 

[yogi]

TONY:

All women, regardless of being an SP or not, equally have the potential of being a user or manipulator. I've been played to the hilt by a non-SP, she was quite brilliant at it.
On a side note, I don't see much difference between marriage & prostitution.

But let me ask YOU a question:
Are you the kind of guy who likes to rescue women?
Do you come from a family of substance abusers?
Was your mom cold, distant, or absent?

 

[stryker]

holly flammin assholes LG,,,

 

[tonyinkelowna]

Yogi. Yes, I do like to rescue women. Also would rescue children, men but maybe not cats and dogs. Back the f off about my mother. Thanks anyway for the comments. You a shrink?

 

[yogi]

Remember that you are the one who asked for advice. Don't ask if you are afraid of the answers, or afraid to take a hard look at yourself & your motives.
It should be far easier to look at yourself rather than play guessing games about a woman.
Why are you getting so combative?
I'm only trying to help by asking some thought & introspection-provoking questions. I've no agenda & nothing to gain by the outcome.
There's no reason to get testy or make threatening comments.
Judging by your answer, I guess it's a "yes".
You seem kinda young & testosterone-laden. As that passes, so probably will your rescue urge. Helping people who sincerely need & want it, & will benefit from it, is compassion that we need more of out there. But going overboard, helping people who will ruin you, will just make you bitter.

 

[tonyinkelowna]

Thanks for the comments. She does smoke weed but that's the extent of the drugs. Drinks some wine but nothing too much. Has pretty bad depression. But a sweetheart the whole time

 

[hornydude]

Hey, Tony. Give it a chance and trust her. I DIDN'T do this once when I found out a girl had worked as an SP (in a different city) in University. She was honest, and I kinda held it against her. I've been kicking myself ever since because I ended it with her. Hindsight is 20/20 but I think I screwed up royally.

Maybe her depression will wane if you accept her and love her. It's worth a shot. Good luck to you both.

Later

 

[Morrigan]

I agree with yogi. All people have the capacity to be manipulating cretins. That doesn't mean we all are. Just because alot of people with common threads (whether it be SPs, salespeople, video game addicts, whatever) and it just so happens that most of the people linked by these threads have been assholes, doesn't mean all people on that thread are. In either case, I know my bf thinks about how I got the money to pay for things. Part of the reason I buy him gifts is because I can't make up for it any other way. Or at least nothing has occured to me. (and for those thinking "why doesn't she just quit" easier said than done, trust me I've been looking!) But that's just my personal relationship with him, and shouldn't be compared to any other people's relationships with SPs, except for the loosest sense. S G Gibson has a great point, as well. She may not know she's using you, or she may, but it wasn't a "plan" or anything like that. Maybe she's just looking for an easier way out. Aren't we all??

 

[Sunset]

Tony,

I'm a geek. I love to analyze things, mostly technical matters but those analytical skills have helped me deal with other matters. So, let’s break your situation into components:

1. You brought your problem to perb for help = uncertainty

2. You stated your concerns = problem

3. Problem + Uncertainty = confusion

4. Mythologies and strategies were provided = defensiveness

5. Confusion + Defensiveness = It is up to you on how you handle your situation.

 

[Lurker 123]

Has pretty bad depression. But a sweetheart the whole time

Is it a clinical depression?
If so,then you will need a lots of love and patience to support her! Perhaps you may enquire some medical personnel to give you advice how to ease her depression problem.

Clinical depress is very different from feeling blue and depress!

 

[stryker]

Time to take a long walk,,,LONNNGGGG WALLKK,,and sort your self out,,,,Know one Here is going to do it for you,,YOU!!!! have to do it your self.For Yor self!!