Faking the Big 'O'

[Harmony-bc]

Harmony, are you talking about that circular motion some do? As if they are stirring a pot? Where do they learn that from? My ex started doing that one day and I stopped and him said,,,"no honey, it's not round and round, it's in an out!"

lol, I think its cause they want to trick us into thinking its bigger, it doesn't, but it is uncomfortable and some times hurts and can rub your clit the WRONG way.

 

[Thais]

Agreed 100 times about pressure.

When asked about orgasms, I usually say straight out that it's highly unlikely. Nobody has had a problem with that yet, since it's fairly clear from my body language that I DO enjoy sex.

It may continue to weigh subconsciously on both of your minds... because everywhere you go, in all erotic media and cultural representation female orgasms are a big thing these days. But overall, if you genuinely enjoy the process and can make yourself focus on the journey rather than the destination - you both can enjoy yourselves immensely even without her coming.

The problem with reaching female orgasm could also come from her favourite way of masturbation. I've read about women complaining that they get so used to vibrators that it becomes hard to come in other ways. Recently, I found a thread on a sex forum talking about laying on your stomach and grinding - and then you are so used to that grinding movement that typical DATY moves, even when very good, just can't bring you there.
So it may have nothing to do with your skills.

Make sure that you both are enjoying it, and when communicating, ask something along the lines "what can I do to please you more?" rather than "what can I do to give you orgasm?" That way you can still be attentive and communicate about what she likes but without putting on pressure.

 

[kalel]

women can have orgasms? right, i suppose next you'll tell me we can put a man on the moon.....

as far as sp's faking it with me, i don't know, i don't care, if you cum it was purely an accident on my part. there was a time i cared abit more but i've dealt with enuf of the money grab girls that now if i'm paying for it i expect to be entertained for the said amount of time.

okay, all joking aside i just assume most sp's fake it as i was told by one that it didn't matter what i did she simply wasn not going to let her self get into it. and this is one i almost dated.

 

[AA_Train]

Mimi I get what your saying. Basically, you can't script sessions. You can't make it result based. Still, for me, part of my pleasure is her pleasure. I really want to get the lady off, probably more so than me. On one level, I feel disappointed if she doesn't cum, but the main purpose is to have fun. If it doesn't happen and I try my best, I guess it wasn't meant to be. Maybe next time. Orgasms DO matter but it's not the only measurementof enjoyment.

 

[mimi]

Thais, on becoming dependent on one specific style of stimulation, yes, you are dead on. There was a lot of talk about this back in the seventies (and probably earlier) about women killing the joy of sex by being too comfortable with their vibrators. One New York Madame reported that she discouraged her women from using electronic stimulation.

I really enjoy my 1958 plug in the wall Niagra massage unit that I swiped from my Mom when I was a crafty little teen. It has ten speeds and was really built to be an actual back massager but I found a better use for its handle as a clit stimulator and the orgasms came fast and furious, however, they are of a different nature than the "organic" hand stimulated types.

When I use the electric unit I don't have to think of anything sexual, I can be organizing my day etc...the lower half of the body is totally independent having all the orgasmic contractions et al. but! when I use my hand I am fantasizing and getting horny in the brain as well. These are also more powerful orgasms. I used to worry as a kid about getting old and arthritic, and not being able to use my fingers as nimbly!

Back to habits of nature, they are hard to change and lately I have been forcing myself to discover new ways of touching the clitoral area, not with the intention of having an orgasm, but, to stimulate the brain to accept new sensations. I have gotten into a masturbating rut!...LOL

And finally, ya know those wet dreams where you are with some hot guy and you don't know what's really going on, it's all weird, but suddenly you wake up in the middle of the most intensely, powerful, and, emotional orgasm? It fascinates me that without a single external touch, not a wit of stimulation to the sex organs, my brain can conjure such a body twisting event...and I realize how important the brain is to the whole orgasm experience. I just wish I could remember which button I pushed!

 

[HB40]

I read recently that women produce Oxytocin during orgasm which is the same neurotransmitter produced during nursing. It causes a woman to bond with her child. Perhaps it stimulates a womans bond with her mate which would explain my self centeredness as I spent a good deal of my life masturbating! LOL!

I think you hit it on the head for me there mimi, metaphorically speaking. Sex with my wife is all about her orgasm. I won't describe the methods suffice to say she has a complete penis envy fetish, it's all about her and him, the rest of me is pretty much left out of the equation lol. With an SP the personal intimacy is elusive so if we can share orgasms I feel a closer bond and usually get the same sense from her. I like the connection and helping a lady orgasm is the closest and quickest way to achieve that.

DATY is fantastic. I could stay down there all day. Or at least until the neck cramps and it is time to go to the chiropractor. But, I realize that a woman isn't always going to have an orgasm. Sometimes it just isn't going to happen. So, no worries, and no pressure. I do it because I enjoy it. It is definately not a waste of time. damn. I wanna do it right now. No recip will be required..

Right on brother!

 

[sex]

I am proud to say I have not ever faked an orgasm.

 

[sonoman]

Expecting a SP to cum for you is pretty unrealistic in my opinion.

I don't expect it to happen every time, but it happens more often than not.

 

[wilde]

I seldom swear, but this is just fucking bullshit. Grinding hurts? What about when the woman is on top and holds you and grinds? Same thing?

This thread is for the most part very educational. The ladies' opinions are quite helpful. I also understand where Ropey is coming from especially the above comment about the grinding. Would the ladies mind explaining the difference. I have found that a lot of women likes to grind when they are on top but the grinding in itself gives me very little pleasure. However, I don't mind being grinded by my partner because it seems to be pleasurable for them.

 

[Krustee]

Women can have orgasms?

Huh?

Whodda thunk that eh?

 

[melissa.in.abby]

Women can have orgasms?

Huh?

Whodda thunk that eh?

Yeah, fuck! I think someone forgot to tell me! lol

 

[JFF009]

I see a lady who I think is attractive and read her posts to get a view of who she is and then contact her if I am attracted.

I was attracted to Harmony, and was looking to see if I wanted to book an appointment for an upcoming Vancouver holiday. After reading this, I not only dropped that view, but felt a need to respond as well.

Ropey...I find this a little odd.

I do similar type of research because a lady's attitude is the most important piece to an enjoyable session. Where I kinda fall off the rail here is you are researching a lady that has over 1200 posts on this forum. You find one that you don't like or take exception to (that's almost 2 years old) and instead of sending a PM or just striking her off your list you decide to call her out b/c she doesn't like grinding. I don't get that. It seems out of character for you.

It's comments like these that chase ladies away from participation in the lounge. They become very guarded about what they can and cannot say. It makes things much more difficult for those of us that prefer to get to know someone prior to seeing them.

Sorry, but I'm really struggling to see what you thought you might gain by posting this. Did you think there would be a groundswell of support from SPs saying "I love a man with a tiny dick working hard to touch my walls"?

 

[tommydome]

Sorry to stir the pot... and I sure hope I'm not crossing any message board rules here...
But tell me there isn't one guy out there with a 3" dick who could grind the shit out of Harmony the right way, and she'd love every minute of it hmm? lol. (that's an interesting thought... hmm... sorry... thinking for a sec...)

I wouldn't take her post as personally directed at every guy who has a 5.5. That's average. Which means for every guy that gets a smidgen more "ooohhh" from the ladies, there's another getting the "it'll do" from the others.

We can't all be Gretzky in the sack, but we can still score tons of goals and win a big championship here and there... it's not like you're packing a stubbie.
Guys are only hurting themselves when they even try and suggest their average cock is too small. And it's insulting to the majority of the male population who pack the same heat they do and are fine with it.

Ropey, you can't tell me that's your ONLY MOVE is it??? this is the only thing you dig and makes you cum? If that's the case, THANK GOD she wrote that or you'd both leave a session feeling like shit.

I kinda took her point as "guys that get me off are guys that fuck me the way I like it". Seems her one restriction for having an orgasm is side to side grinding. Now for the record, I've used that move a few times, but I was told to! I swear! lol... although it quickly got dumped from the repertoire...

The thought that the only motive for this move is to make the woman think he's big is not fair however, but it may be in her personal experience.
It's obvious there are guys who do it like Mr. Ropey because it FEELS GOOD. (for him). Now here is where I could see a source of irritation.. .because there are moves I do for my woman, and yeah, sometimes they fucking hurt too! Although, in my view, you give that type of energy and sacrifice to someone you love... when it's about money, YMMV.

Someone charging mula for a service has limits on what services they will do.. and most CERTAINLY what "services" they enjoy fall into a completely different realm.

IT can both ways though. Some times I'm with an SP and all I want is pampering... you know, good massage, you lie there, they do pretty much everything... damn, isn't that nice?
And some times I want a connection, or an adventure, or whatever.

No matter what I want though, One view I just can't hold is that the $$ she defines as a rate for services now means that she must think and hold views that match my own.

Sometimes guys will leave these girls and I'll betcha they think "damn, I'd marry that guy" and other times it's "well that was nice, what's on tv". and then of course there's the "thank fucking god he's gone, I felt like I was making $5.50 at Mc'dees flipping fries. Greasy, worthless and at risk of cardiac arrest".

Anyway, the point of the thread was faking the big "O", not "pretend everything I do is wicked for every person I'll ever meet cause I'm paying you". So, here's a reason she fakes the big "O". Pretty fucking brave of Harmony to out a reason she would... look what happened. She shares, and then gets slammed for it from someone's insecurity.


We all get different things out of this, on both sides of the fence. Money, security and sex are always tied together with women, SP or not. Reading comments about how SP's like to cum would be fucking sweet...and I'd love to see more of that on the forum! You know. Cause it's fucking cool to have them admit they are sometimes ENJOYING it for more than the money.

SERIOUSLY. How cool is that? Point me to that thread!! lol.

 

[tommydome]

Now if others continue to give the thread more life, then that's their choice. I'm just responding to them now. Let it pass and I won't be posting anymore.

Edit: It was over for me when she didn't respond.

Whoops. Sorry man. Just for clarity, my post isn't intended to attack you, or harmony, but share my thoughts on a thread's arguement that interested me. You say it's just words in a post, so cool. But the topic and content of it remains interesting to me... at least right this second.

 

[JFF009]

I've been around since the days of the University BBS's and follow posting protocol.

You should follow all of the posting protocol Ropey and learn to step away from the keyboard when you're angry. Likely coming back at a later time you would have handled things differently...more appropriately me thinks.

Here's how I do it...an SP posts something that shows me a side of her I don't appreciate I simply cross that SP off my list. I also assume that anyone with similar feelings about the post will do the same thing...easy peasy my friend.

We have no right to tell an SP how to conduct their business just as they have no right to tell us how we conduct ours.

 

[HubbaHubba]

Ropey is your pecker really 5.5"?

 

[tommydome]

I wasn't around during the days of University BBS's.

On the topic of faking the "O":
Oh man, the first thread I comment on and I am so glad I decided to get involved!!! ohh.... yeah..hmmm... ohhh... it's doing it for me... yea!!! ugh.
Well.
That was nice. Wonder what's on TV.

 

[HubbaHubba]

Why? Are you interested?!

.....Maybe

 

[JFF009]

You are shoulding all over yourself JFF. You might wish to look up the word should and its proper application. Should is used in reality, not to attempt to change reality.

In other words, the sky should be blue because it is. Not that the sky should be green because that's the way you would like reality to be.

There is a difference.

where the hell did that come from Ropey?

I don't pretend to be an expert in grammar or spelling. Call me out on something relevant.

 

[JFF009]

Demanding is another story and "Should" used the way you did is demanding.

I should no longer demand you to do anything. Is that a better use??

BTW...you can consider this the "bitter end"...hahaha