Well lads, here is the update. At this stage, my little adventure is more entertaining than exciting. For your reading pleasure; here is a re-play of my adventures from last night.
As it was late and I had not secured agreeable companionship I slipped into ‘action’ mode (thinking with the more powerful head). I called a ‘guy’ (a friend of a friend, a guy who moves in a world I no longer dabble in) and told him what I was looking for. He told me he knew a gal who would likely be interested. A few minutes later she calls and we have a nice chat. She was a little ‘rough’ sounding but very affordable, and agreed to all kinds of great services… so I thought she might do and she did seem nice. We agreed I would head across town and pick her up as she could not take a cab (no, I do not comprehend why she could not take a cab either..) and I had gotten a rental. I arrived at her hotel (uhm… not that nice) and called her; while the phone was against my ear the passenger door popped open and she got half way in. I jumped out of my pants as she seemed to just appear from thin air. I was, however, pleased that it was her; although she was as rough looking as she had sounded (yup, she was ‘ridden hard and put away wet’ a few too many time). I was further startled that it took her over five minutes to get into the car. You see, she was fairly rough looking and she had one crutch and her right foot was all bandaged in some sort of cast type thing. I noticed it did look bad and she did seem in some pain. Being the caring and deep man that I am I was obviously concerned that this lame 'paw' would prevent proper entertainment. Now, at this point any normal man would have cut bait and run. I, however, still being of great faith, foolishly chose to forge on.
We drove back to my quality hotel. The drive was fairly quiet except for the sound of wind coming in my half open window. I was, after all, compelled to open my window under the near arctic conditions as her ‘bad paw’ was emitting some sort of foul odour. She was nice about it; she also noticed and she apologized. After parking and a very slow walk / hobble, and for reasons I do not myself understand, we found ourselves in my room. She asked to use the bathroom to freshen up which I of course agreed to. While she was in there I was trying to figure out how to be a little polite about stopping this as I was sure I could go not proceed. I stood there, still fully dressed and even still wearing my shoes. I also noticed that she was in the washroom quite a long time; now over ten minutes with the occasional “I will be right out, just getting all ready”.
(now, hang in there with me because things ge even worse from here very fast...)
That was it, I was sure she was in there doing crack, or some other such behaviour I wanted no part of. I turned the knob and barged into the bathroom (dear god, why hadn’t she locked it?) only to find the poor thing sitting naked on my throne having a dump! Yes, we were both obviously quite startled; myself now noxious with the stench. I stumbled out gasping for air and horrified by the image now burned into my tiny brain. She hobbled out after me and suggested we “get at ‘er”. As you can imagine in a contained hotel room; her ‘aromatics’ were now not contained in the bathroom rather had begun to spread throughout my room. The poor thing was embarrassed; but like a trooper tried to carry on as if everything was cool. I was stumbling around in shock only to see she had climbed up onto the end of my bed and was on all fours encouraging me to take her from behind.
Now, imagine if you will: she was naked on my bed on all fours asking to be taken, my room was now filled literally by the stench of her shit, her ‘stinky paw’ was now leaking some sort of goo and was sticking out from under her all while her white ass was wiggling in the air... begging to be taken… except… oh my god… oh no… in her haste to ‘get at ‘er’… she had only partly cleaned up… so now I had a creamy white ass wiggling at me with a slight shit smear…
Within five minutes she was in a cab headed to I do not know where.
So, my review is:
Kelly (although she admitted that was not really her name!)
Looks: 3
Attitude: 5
Service: - 400
Repeat: uhm… no.
And, for a final wrap up; as if all of the above were not offensive enough; when I returned to the room and went to washroom I found she had left her ‘deposit’ for me; not even a courtesy flush…
I am not enjoying this newbie trip....
