Dumbest questions ever. Let's hear 'em.

[MissingOne]

I don't see the problem

As many of you know I don't show my face on my website, yet yesterday evening a potential client requested a picture of my face so he wouldn't be victim of a Bait'n'Switch. With no pics on my site, how is he to know he is getting the girl in the pictures. What reference does he have to compare? I'm lost, any ideas?

You know, from a client's point of view, I just don't see the problem. He knows, from your web site, what your body looks like. When he arrives at your door he'll presumably be met by a woman with a body that looks like that, and a face that he will either like or won't like. If he doesn't like your face, he'll either leave or he won't. If he likes what he sees, what difference does it make whether he's with "the" CLM or a woman who calls herself CLM? And, once he's had a session, he'll know if he likes the service he gets from "CLM".

Anyway, judging from your outspoken PERB posts, my guess is that if I ever see you, I'll know after the first 5 minutes of conversation whether I'm with the lady who posts on PERB.

 

[xtreme7331]

You could have offered him 2 orders of 6.

yeah i know...that was the dumb reply i got...i thought it was pretty funny still...the chick didnt get it...not even after i ordered 2 sixes.

 

[wolverine]

I was with a friend of mine last week and we had to find a parking but it was all those call in your cell fone type.
I guess my friend never saw anything like that, possible he took a long holiday to Mars....who knows, but I was keep telling him that you have to use your cell and call in for park.
He tought that I was joking because he never seen anything like that, how stupid it is, he was keep telling me, and why should I do it and what am I going to say in the fone?

I looked at him and I said just call in and that's it, that simple.

Then he looked at me and he was more puzzeled then he said to me again......
so I call them and I should tell them I am in here?
And how do they know when do I leave? Do I call them up again and tell them bye I am leaving?

I actually thought it was awefully cute more them stupid, I started laughing so hard I had almost tears came out of my eyes.....why?
Because he was not joking, his question was dead serious.

Uhm...not that stupid. How exactly does that work anyway???

 

[Restless]

Pronunciation

Call from an American customer of mine (an intelligent man for whom I have much respect):

Him (1st thing out of his mouth) "Hi. How do you pronounce the letter Z?"

Me "Zed"

Him "Then how do you pronounce Zebra?"

Me "Zee bra"

Him "That's weird. Bye"

Me "Bye"

 

[noddy]

No-one's home

I was over at a friends house visiting, and his grandmother was there at the same time. Some JW's came to the door, she answered, looked at them, and said " No one is at home. Don't call again." and she slammed the door.

 

[Creole Lady Marmalade]

Call from an American customer of mine (an intelligent man for whom I have much respect):

Him (1st thing out of his mouth) "Hi. How do you pronounce the letter Z?"

Me "Zed"

Him "Then how do you pronounce Zebra?"

Me "Zee bra"

Him "That's weird. Bye"

Me "Bye"

Maybe it's because I'm fighting sleep but that's really funny to me at this moment.
Zed-bra!!!! Ha ha


Oh, I just wet myself.

 

[Miss Laura Lea]

Maybe it's because I'm fighting sleep but that's really funny to me at this moment.
Zed-bra!!!! Ha ha


Oh, I just wet myself.

I laughed really hard at that myself. I can just picture someone saying that.. "Thats weird. Bye" hahaha

 

[Randy Whorewald]

The Scarecrow got a brain, Tin Man got a heart, Lion got courage, Dorothy got home, what did Toto get?

What do chickens think we taste like?

Can a stupid person be a smart-ass?

Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

Are there a lot of virgins in the Virgin Islands?

 

[GTM]

Uhm...not that stupid. How exactly does that work anyway???

Call number posted and answer questions regarding location (# is posted on sign), duration in hours, vehicle license plate #, credit card # (only once, after that it uses the same one each time).

You get a voice prompt confirming that you want to park vehicle (license plate) at location (#) for (#) hours. It will indicated the fee and will often suggest that the duration you requested (say 2 hours) costs the same as parking until such and such a time (say 5 pm or the next morning at 6 am). You can set up multiple vehicles for one cell phone\credit card combo. If it suggests the wrong vehicle, you can change that. Once you have confirmed all info, you get a message saying "Thank you, vehicle has been parked".

You just leave whenever you are ready. You get a text message from the agency about 5 minutes before your time is up warning you as such and asking if you want to add more time. I believe you can add time with a return text message but you may have to call, I don't remember.

Now you know.

 

[luckydog71]

As a few of these have turned into stories about ignorant Americans, I thought I'd share my own technique for dealing with such people.

Now, before any Americans on the board get pissed off at me, I've got plenty of American friends, and I'm well aware of the fact that the majority of Americans are no stupider than the majority of people in any other country... It's just that American morons seem to be more moronic than the morons of most other countries.

So, when faced with a truly idiotic question/statement, rather than attempt to correct the person, I simply pause, cock my head to the side, stare intently at the person for a minute, and then say, in a voice of obvious wonderment: "Wow... Are all Americans as ignorant as you?"

They tend to shut up real quick, go all red in the face, and sulk away. Actually, it's a technique that can easily be applied to idiots of all cultures, although I recommend using it only in cases of extreme stupidity. If it's a statement/question that's stupid to anyone from one specific part of the world, but it wouldn't be stupid to people from most parts of the world, then give the person a break and inform them of their error in a non-condescending manner.

"I'd like a dozen mcnuggets please."

"uh..they only come in 6, 9 and 20."

I could not help myself, I just had to combined these two posts into one.

Now, before any Canadians on the board get pissed off at me, I've got plenty of Canadian friends, and I'm well aware of the fact that the majority of Canadians are no stupider than the majority of people in any other country... It's just that Canadian morons seem to be more moronic than the morons of most other countries.

I walked into the McDonalds on Marine Dr.

Me: I will have 12 mcnuggest please.

McD guy: They only come in 6, 9 and 20.

Me: pausing, cocking my head to the side, stare intently at McD guy for a minute, and then say, in a voice of obvious wonderment: "Wow... Are all Canadians as ignorant as you?"

Me: Then I will change my order to 2 orders of 6 please


Jacker…somehow that approach doesn’t work for me…. I bet McD guy would think I was a ignorant American…. I would have to tell him a moronic Canadian taught me that.

 

[Creole Lady Marmalade]

HAHAHAHAHAHA



ZED-bra!!!!!!!

 

[lenny]

HAHAHAHAHAHA



ZED-bra!!!!!!!

Z...?...didn't know they came that big...

You sound excited about it.

#1500

 

[Creole Lady Marmalade]

Z...?...didn't know they came that big...

You sound excited about it.

#1500

I'm still laughing about it from last night.

 

[Lever2000]

Do you have milk??

I used to work in a Grocery store.
Now I have some dumb ass questions that used to drive me crazy....

1. Do you guys carry milk??? No, we don't but the cow out back could get you some.

2. I was watching this lady stare up at the speakers in the store. Out of curiousity, I approacher her and asked if she needed any help.
Her reply was, " Actually, I was wondering how I can rewind the tape and play that song again. It was such a nice song! Can you go in the back and rewind the song for me??"
I actually laughed in her face. I didn't mean too either, it was just one of the dumbest questions I have ever heard.

3. While I am working away at something, people always walk up to you and ask, "Excuse me, do you work here?" No jack ass, i just wear this clown costume for no reason. In fact, on my days off from my real job, I come here and pretend to work here so when people like you come and ask me that, I tell them NO!

Thats it, and thats all for now.

 

[bjluver]

from my days of working on a cruise ship...

"what time is the midnight buffet?" although in all fairness it did run from 11:30pm to 1am.

also

"do these stairs go up?" um....no they go sideways


"is the water in the toilet fresh or salt water?" does it really matter? you taste it and find out.

 

[Damaged]

Need I say more

I got an email from the electronics company LG with the logo and everything. It said that i won a large sum of money and i filled out the form they asked for and everything. My thoughts were that it could be real... does anyone here know of any scam related to this company like that

i know i am just sceptical???

Seems obvious.

 

[Moderator]

And just how do you think Sarah is going to be able to read this

I wish people would learn a bit more about how the board works!!

 

[mick_eight]

I wish people would learn a bit more about how the board works!!

My mistake... I thought being banned you could not access site.

 

[necko]

Just today I overheard a women asking a bus driver" why doesn't the 99 B-Line Express bus stop at every stop. " Bus driver repleys well Mam then we wouldn't be express then would we" She repies back " sure it would we'd just have to drive faster"I'm still shaking my head

 

[luckyj]

Favorite questions.

I'd like a BLT sandwich. (to a mcdonald's employee)

She asks. do you want Bacon ? hahahaha