don't jizz in the yogurt

[Very Veronica]

wtf

Man Pleads Guilty to Serving Woman Yogurt with His Semen in It

You know how you get all excited every time you go to the grocery store and there's someone serving up those free samples. That's about to be ruined forever. That's because one guy plead guilty to putting his jizz in a yogurt sample he served to a woman.

Anthony Garcia will appear in a New Mexico court next week to change his plea from not-guilty to guilty on one count of adulterating food and one of lying to federal prosecutors. He faces up to eight years in prison for both offense. Both of the charges stem from when Garcia was working at Sunflower Farmers Market in January and aggressively offered a female shopper a sample of yogurt. She finally tried and and decided it tasted disgusting, "like semen." Garcia, naturally, lied about putting his personal flavor in the yogurt and now he's in all this trouble.

The victim in this case and two other women are suing Garcia and the market for eating spunk in separate incidents. Apparently this was Garcia's M.O. Did he have some sort of fetish or something? It's always fun to crank one out when you're bored at work, but you should destroy the evidence, not bring it back to your desk, especially when your desk is a card table with a sad paper table cloth covered with some newfangled health food product or another. And just how did he get the juice in the yogurt anyway? Did he store it from before? Did he make a fresh deposit? What's the shelf life on that kind of white, creamy substance?

OK, now I'm thinking way too much about this. I'm just going to go back to "gross" and try to think of something else. And the next time someone in the Whole Foods asks me if I want to try some nuts, I'm going to punch them in the face.

http://gawker.com/5845231/man-pleads-guilty-to-serving-woman-yogurt-with-his-semen-in-it

 

[nrvsdan]

Yes...but did they swallow...?
lol

 

[Aleister Crowley]

gives a whole new meaning to vanilla sex

 

[Trus'Me]

As is why I'm always REALLY nice to the pizza delivery guy.

 

[Arcadefirefly]

oh great now yogurt is forever ruined for me. just like tim hortons glazed doughnuts.

 

[whoisjohngalt]

I love that the victim recognized the flavour. I guess we know that CIM is on the menu...

 

[hipdude]

8 years and he didn't get to put his dick in their mouths to deliver the semen? What a rip.

At least rape has a better payoff.

 

[Tugela]

8 years is the maximum, he likely won't get that though. If he has changed his plea then I expect there was a plea deal reached, and no one does that in return for the maximum sentence.

In the grand scheme of adulterated foods the incident is probably pretty small.

 

[hipdude]

In the grand scheme of adulterated foods the incident is probably pretty small.

yeah I'll say. Anyways unless its HIV+ sperm, can't see how it can harm a person... even if it is disgusting. 8 yrs is a bit much for something that doesn't harm.

 

[davebohn]

Remember when the worst a grocer had to worry about was someone squeezing the Charmin? Where have you gone Mr Whipple ....

 

[hipdude]

The things some people do for kicks

I go ballistic when I find a hair in my food. Can't even imagine how I'd react to something like this!

wow, then what happens if you find jizz in your hair??? Do you get pissed off at your client?

 

[littlejimbigher]

I love that the victim recognized the flavour. I guess we know that CIM is on the menu...

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought that.

 

[princeofdarkness]

I wonder if the yogurt contained fruit and if so, was it at the bottom or was it stirred?

: )

 

[Flanders]

Nice...Glad to see the internet has made it to the trailerpark. Pure class buddy. Pure class...

At least rape has a better payoff.