My work requires a lot of travel and I've been fortunate over the years to session with a number of professional dominatrix’ from Montreal to Vancouver. I've seen Mistress Dominique a number of times when visiting Vancouver and have been very pleased with the experience. Mistress Dominique is extremely professional and skilled. She is also an amazing listener, non judgmental, and fully understands one's needs when you open up to her. It is also an added bonus that she is absolutely stunning and beautiful.
Through the sessions with Mistress Dominique, I've developed a high level of respect, trust, comfort, and confidence with her and recently shared a dark past and pain that I needed her to help me with. A secret that I have only shared with a priest through confession annually at lent and a number of professional counsellors in the desperate hope that the heavy weight of this burden would be lifted - but unfortunately to no success.
I grew up in a small farming community with a long time neighbor and family friend Sarah who was a few years younger than me. We were so close that both our families and all of our friends thought it was only natural we one day would be married and have children. Sarah was your role model "girl from next door", fun, loving, full of spunk, beautiful, and adventurous. She was also into sports, very smart, and driven to be successful. While I always knew Sarah had a crush on me, I only saw her as a kid sister. As I was finishing my last year of University, Sarah entered her first year and like many before her, came to the campus very naive, innocent, and full of excitement with the many activities going on around her including the beer gardens, campus sports pub, association parties, etc. She had also fully matured by now with a very nice toned body and developed perky breasts - which she loved to flaunt and tease.
After her exams and just before Spring break, I invited her and to a private fraternity house party to celebrate. After a number of drinks - we made out in one of the rooms where we performed in front of everyone - mutual oral, rimming, and finally doggy. She was clearly enjoying the attention from everyone and invited others to have fun with her. I tried to stop her and asked if this is really what she wanted to do, but secretly I wanted to see this happen as my friends were applauding and high-fiving me for bringing such a hot "first year newbie" to the party. She confirmed she wanted to have more fun and went to do lap dances in her drunken state. It soon turned into a wild orgy with Sarah on top of my best friend, giving head to another buddy, and being rammed in the ass by a third. She must have let at least another 3-5 different guys take her. At least everyone was using protection I kept telling myself. Towards the end of the last set of guys, our eyes met and I could tell she was scared and crying. I let my friends finish with her and I walked her back to her dorm with no words exchanged. The next day word had spread about this new "frat mattress" someone had used their blackberry to record the evening and had posted and shared it. Within a week Sarah had given up her scholarship and quit school. All of my attempts to contact and apologize to her have not been successful. Sarah's older sister knows what happened and refuses to share Sarah's contact information.
As I replay that night over and over, I know in my mind and heart I should (and could have) stopped my friends. I WAS A COWARD. I was caught between being popular and my friendship to Sarah. I chose my popularity. I could have at least phoned her sister who was less than 10 minutes away to come and get her. Sarah trusted me to protect her and I let her down. I have been carrying this burden and guilt for many years and it surfaces every Spring Break.
I recently shared my story with Mistress Dominique and asked her to help me heal and forgive myself. This was a huge leap of faith and unconditional trust based on the relationship we've developed. We discussed the scenario well in advanced and everything that I am going to share here was agreed to consensually and freely in advanced. (This session was Not Filmed and Condoms were used). A "safe word" was established and everything was played out safely. I had the ability to stop and abort the session at any time with no negative repercussions.
Mistress Dominique is Sarah’s sister in this session. I arrive to Sarah’s sisters house to ask for her forgiveness. Her sister and her guy friend are there. I desperately pleaded for her sister’s forgiveness she decides that I should get a taste of my own medicine and then I would possibly be forgiven.
Dear Sarah,
It has been many years since we last saw each other. I am very sorry for what happened to you and wish there was something I could do to make it up. You trusted me and I let you down. I was the Senior and could have abruptly stopped everything, but I did not. While I recognize there is nothing I can do to erase the events of that night, I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me one day.
I recently went and saw your sister Dominique. I confessed everything to her including all of the details of that night. I told her it was not your fault as you were intoxicated. She was very disappointed with me. She said everyone trusted me to look after you in your first year of University. She said that while you were not in a position to take revenge or punish me, she would. She took the collar off your dog and put it around my neck. She then made me strip, I put on similar clothes that you had on that night - the red panties, white stockings, short plaid skirt, bra, and white tank top. She put artificial breasts into the bra, stuffed a pair of her soiled panties in my mouth as part of my punishment then put restraints on my arms and legs. She made me look at myself in a full-length mirror while I then listened to her chastise and lecture for what happened. I felt like a schoolboy that was caught doing something bad, I could feel the heat of embarrassment come to my face. I had to turn my head and close my eyes. Your sister kept grabbing my head and forced me to look at our reflections through the mirror as she continued to lecture me. She wanted me to see myself in the mirror so I would feel more shame and embarrassment. It worked. When she finished her lecture, she whispered in my ear "Now you’re going to know how it felt to be Sarah that night you little coward".
She took the dog leash and walked me to the other side of the room and there was a naked man with a large hard on right in front of my face. She pulled the soiled panties out of my mouth. "Now suck that cock like the cheap whore just like you turned my sister into that night". I've never smelled a man's pubic area before and it was an unpleasant odour. I put his penis in my mouth and started to suck. My jaw quickly became tired, as I have never had a penis in my mouth. I replayed some of the homophobic jokes I used to laugh about and could not believe this was happening to me. "Keep sucking Sarah, I know you're loving it. You look like you’re a good little cock sucker". His hands grab the back of my head and started to pump my mouth roughly. I was so humiliated and was crying. "Are those tears of pleasure Sarah? Don’t worry tears turn all the boys on even more - keep on sucking like a good little doggy for the frat boys". I saw a few quick flashes and clicks of a camera. "How humiliating is it to know that I just took photos of you sucking a man’s cock".
After awhile… I did the "stop and go" as my jaw was hurting. Your sister gave me a vibrator and told me to lick his penis like a lollipop, use the vibrator in one hand on the penis, and use the other hand to massage the balls. I have never felt so ashamed or embarrassed. I was not able to make the man cum (and deep inside I was disappointed with myself) and knew until he did, I could not consider this full punishment. So I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and invited him to have anal intercourse on me. "Please Dominique - have your friend fuck me up the ass like a cheap slut and whore just like I turned your sister into that evening". Your sister secured a spreader bar to my legs and spread them apart. Her friend came behind me, and started to slowly insert his cock into me. "Why are you being nice? Sara is a slut and has proven that this isn’t her first time. Just ram it in", and with that, I felt a sharp pain and was totally penetrated, violated, humiliated, and shamed as a man. Your sister's face was close to mine as she taunted me with comments like "Look at you on your hands and knees getting fucked from behind. I'm going to call all of my friends over so they can fuck you and have their way with you next”. Your sister gave her friend a high five just like the guys did to you, I felt so humiliated. "It must be extremely embarrassing to know that your being video taped, how humiliating". With that last comment, I started to grind back and encouraged him to cum hard. I squeezed my sphincter muscles and panted, "Please cum, I'll do all of your friends, I'll let you lend or rent me out, I'm just a cheap $20 whore". Your sister and her friend laughed and humiliated me. I felt his hands on my hips; I then started to synchronize the heavy ramming and thrusts with him. I was looking at your sister through my tears, I said, "I'm so sorry - please forgive me". At the same moment he grunted and came really hard with his fingertips digging into my hips, I fell to my stomach with my head on your sister’s knees sobbing. He quickly got dressed, and before he left he said with a European accent "I'll be sure to tell my friends Sarah, so be ready for the next time", and left.
Sarah, this is the best I can do to demonstrate how truly sorry I am. I've put myself into your shoes as much as possible. I have asked for forgiveness through our parish priest. And now through your "sister". There is nothing more I can do. If you want to connect with me, you know how.
FH
Conclusion..
As my eyes opened and met Mistress Dominique's, she said to me, "You made a mistake, I see how so sorry you are now it’s time to let go and to move forward with your life. You can’t control nor are you responsible for other people’s feelings or there emotions only they are and you can’t make someone forgive you. Who knows maybe she already forgave you and maybe you’ll never know but it’s time to forgive yourself and move on". And with that, I felt a heavy weight lifted off my shoulders and sobbed in her arms. I lay there with Mistress Dominique stroking my face and head and comforting me. I said to her, "I know that I have had a mans penis in my mouth and ass - something that I cannot lie about or undo for the rest of my life".
I know I cannot turn back time. I know I have no control over Sarah's feelings or emotions. But I do know, I've taken the first real step in forgiving myself and to really start the healing process, which will take time. Part of this healing process in conslutation with Mistress Dominique is to publicly share with others my story and formally post it. I can refer back to this when I have those feelings and also hope that others may find this helpful in their situations.
Thank you very much Mistress Dominique
Through the sessions with Mistress Dominique, I've developed a high level of respect, trust, comfort, and confidence with her and recently shared a dark past and pain that I needed her to help me with. A secret that I have only shared with a priest through confession annually at lent and a number of professional counsellors in the desperate hope that the heavy weight of this burden would be lifted - but unfortunately to no success.
I grew up in a small farming community with a long time neighbor and family friend Sarah who was a few years younger than me. We were so close that both our families and all of our friends thought it was only natural we one day would be married and have children. Sarah was your role model "girl from next door", fun, loving, full of spunk, beautiful, and adventurous. She was also into sports, very smart, and driven to be successful. While I always knew Sarah had a crush on me, I only saw her as a kid sister. As I was finishing my last year of University, Sarah entered her first year and like many before her, came to the campus very naive, innocent, and full of excitement with the many activities going on around her including the beer gardens, campus sports pub, association parties, etc. She had also fully matured by now with a very nice toned body and developed perky breasts - which she loved to flaunt and tease.
After her exams and just before Spring break, I invited her and to a private fraternity house party to celebrate. After a number of drinks - we made out in one of the rooms where we performed in front of everyone - mutual oral, rimming, and finally doggy. She was clearly enjoying the attention from everyone and invited others to have fun with her. I tried to stop her and asked if this is really what she wanted to do, but secretly I wanted to see this happen as my friends were applauding and high-fiving me for bringing such a hot "first year newbie" to the party. She confirmed she wanted to have more fun and went to do lap dances in her drunken state. It soon turned into a wild orgy with Sarah on top of my best friend, giving head to another buddy, and being rammed in the ass by a third. She must have let at least another 3-5 different guys take her. At least everyone was using protection I kept telling myself. Towards the end of the last set of guys, our eyes met and I could tell she was scared and crying. I let my friends finish with her and I walked her back to her dorm with no words exchanged. The next day word had spread about this new "frat mattress" someone had used their blackberry to record the evening and had posted and shared it. Within a week Sarah had given up her scholarship and quit school. All of my attempts to contact and apologize to her have not been successful. Sarah's older sister knows what happened and refuses to share Sarah's contact information.
As I replay that night over and over, I know in my mind and heart I should (and could have) stopped my friends. I WAS A COWARD. I was caught between being popular and my friendship to Sarah. I chose my popularity. I could have at least phoned her sister who was less than 10 minutes away to come and get her. Sarah trusted me to protect her and I let her down. I have been carrying this burden and guilt for many years and it surfaces every Spring Break.
I recently shared my story with Mistress Dominique and asked her to help me heal and forgive myself. This was a huge leap of faith and unconditional trust based on the relationship we've developed. We discussed the scenario well in advanced and everything that I am going to share here was agreed to consensually and freely in advanced. (This session was Not Filmed and Condoms were used). A "safe word" was established and everything was played out safely. I had the ability to stop and abort the session at any time with no negative repercussions.
Mistress Dominique is Sarah’s sister in this session. I arrive to Sarah’s sisters house to ask for her forgiveness. Her sister and her guy friend are there. I desperately pleaded for her sister’s forgiveness she decides that I should get a taste of my own medicine and then I would possibly be forgiven.
Dear Sarah,
It has been many years since we last saw each other. I am very sorry for what happened to you and wish there was something I could do to make it up. You trusted me and I let you down. I was the Senior and could have abruptly stopped everything, but I did not. While I recognize there is nothing I can do to erase the events of that night, I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me one day.
I recently went and saw your sister Dominique. I confessed everything to her including all of the details of that night. I told her it was not your fault as you were intoxicated. She was very disappointed with me. She said everyone trusted me to look after you in your first year of University. She said that while you were not in a position to take revenge or punish me, she would. She took the collar off your dog and put it around my neck. She then made me strip, I put on similar clothes that you had on that night - the red panties, white stockings, short plaid skirt, bra, and white tank top. She put artificial breasts into the bra, stuffed a pair of her soiled panties in my mouth as part of my punishment then put restraints on my arms and legs. She made me look at myself in a full-length mirror while I then listened to her chastise and lecture for what happened. I felt like a schoolboy that was caught doing something bad, I could feel the heat of embarrassment come to my face. I had to turn my head and close my eyes. Your sister kept grabbing my head and forced me to look at our reflections through the mirror as she continued to lecture me. She wanted me to see myself in the mirror so I would feel more shame and embarrassment. It worked. When she finished her lecture, she whispered in my ear "Now you’re going to know how it felt to be Sarah that night you little coward".
She took the dog leash and walked me to the other side of the room and there was a naked man with a large hard on right in front of my face. She pulled the soiled panties out of my mouth. "Now suck that cock like the cheap whore just like you turned my sister into that night". I've never smelled a man's pubic area before and it was an unpleasant odour. I put his penis in my mouth and started to suck. My jaw quickly became tired, as I have never had a penis in my mouth. I replayed some of the homophobic jokes I used to laugh about and could not believe this was happening to me. "Keep sucking Sarah, I know you're loving it. You look like you’re a good little cock sucker". His hands grab the back of my head and started to pump my mouth roughly. I was so humiliated and was crying. "Are those tears of pleasure Sarah? Don’t worry tears turn all the boys on even more - keep on sucking like a good little doggy for the frat boys". I saw a few quick flashes and clicks of a camera. "How humiliating is it to know that I just took photos of you sucking a man’s cock".
After awhile… I did the "stop and go" as my jaw was hurting. Your sister gave me a vibrator and told me to lick his penis like a lollipop, use the vibrator in one hand on the penis, and use the other hand to massage the balls. I have never felt so ashamed or embarrassed. I was not able to make the man cum (and deep inside I was disappointed with myself) and knew until he did, I could not consider this full punishment. So I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and invited him to have anal intercourse on me. "Please Dominique - have your friend fuck me up the ass like a cheap slut and whore just like I turned your sister into that evening". Your sister secured a spreader bar to my legs and spread them apart. Her friend came behind me, and started to slowly insert his cock into me. "Why are you being nice? Sara is a slut and has proven that this isn’t her first time. Just ram it in", and with that, I felt a sharp pain and was totally penetrated, violated, humiliated, and shamed as a man. Your sister's face was close to mine as she taunted me with comments like "Look at you on your hands and knees getting fucked from behind. I'm going to call all of my friends over so they can fuck you and have their way with you next”. Your sister gave her friend a high five just like the guys did to you, I felt so humiliated. "It must be extremely embarrassing to know that your being video taped, how humiliating". With that last comment, I started to grind back and encouraged him to cum hard. I squeezed my sphincter muscles and panted, "Please cum, I'll do all of your friends, I'll let you lend or rent me out, I'm just a cheap $20 whore". Your sister and her friend laughed and humiliated me. I felt his hands on my hips; I then started to synchronize the heavy ramming and thrusts with him. I was looking at your sister through my tears, I said, "I'm so sorry - please forgive me". At the same moment he grunted and came really hard with his fingertips digging into my hips, I fell to my stomach with my head on your sister’s knees sobbing. He quickly got dressed, and before he left he said with a European accent "I'll be sure to tell my friends Sarah, so be ready for the next time", and left.
Sarah, this is the best I can do to demonstrate how truly sorry I am. I've put myself into your shoes as much as possible. I have asked for forgiveness through our parish priest. And now through your "sister". There is nothing more I can do. If you want to connect with me, you know how.
FH
Conclusion..
As my eyes opened and met Mistress Dominique's, she said to me, "You made a mistake, I see how so sorry you are now it’s time to let go and to move forward with your life. You can’t control nor are you responsible for other people’s feelings or there emotions only they are and you can’t make someone forgive you. Who knows maybe she already forgave you and maybe you’ll never know but it’s time to forgive yourself and move on". And with that, I felt a heavy weight lifted off my shoulders and sobbed in her arms. I lay there with Mistress Dominique stroking my face and head and comforting me. I said to her, "I know that I have had a mans penis in my mouth and ass - something that I cannot lie about or undo for the rest of my life".
I know I cannot turn back time. I know I have no control over Sarah's feelings or emotions. But I do know, I've taken the first real step in forgiving myself and to really start the healing process, which will take time. Part of this healing process in conslutation with Mistress Dominique is to publicly share with others my story and formally post it. I can refer back to this when I have those feelings and also hope that others may find this helpful in their situations.
Thank you very much Mistress Dominique
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