which is exactly why a girl should be open about her past! better to find out before things get serious rather than end up with a broken heart (and possdibly have the guy spreading it all over town because hes angry and hurt)
Do I tell of having been an SP?.....
- Thread starter Lady Kay
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Exactly (although he may still be angry and hurt and blab, even if he's told ahead of time...hence my previous list of questions to ask before you divulge)!
just recently ,a guy from my HS grad class friend requested me on facebook. we started chatting as we didnt even really knowv each other at school and he decided he would like to spend time with me and hopefully move towards a committed relationship. i felt i should tell him before things went farther. to my surprise he said he was totally cool with it. valentines day was just ariund the corner and we were talking about maybe having our first date then. i had some family matters that prevented that from happening. so he sends me a video greeting to my phone .....its him stroking his cock! so i dont respond as im struggling with what to say . he starts bombarding me with texts asking why i havent sent him one in return or a thank you. i explained i was waiting to clear my head because as an escort i get hundreds of these a month and i WONT see the guys who send them . i didn't think it was appropriate to see his cock on my phone for valentines day before i had met it in person. he said he wasn't a trick and thus didn't understand "hooker talk" and said i was pretty prudish for a ho! so much for being "cool" with it .
That's better than lying to oneself and believing that you as a human being has something imaginary called "altruism". Your ideals ultimately will fail you, and when your apparent generosity will evaporate, so will your mate be heartbroken by expectations you've raised be ultimately unfulfilled because you can't fulfill them.So, what you are saying is that you only bother to satisfy your partner if their is something to be gained for you? I bet all the girls think you are a real charmer once they figure that out
This, I see as the answer to why you shouldn't tell. At least, you shouldn't tell too early or too people who may have no reason to know.
A guy who is "friend" requesting anyone he can find on facebook. You never date him, but he now knows you are an escort. You don't know how many people he has shared the news with, let's just say - attending your High School reunion could be a problem. Clearly, he isn't "cool with it" and you were going to get it thrown into your face at some point.
The thing is - there was never a reason he should know until, at least, you were dating and contemplating having sex.
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A guy should realize how lucky he is to have a woman confide such a secret. This must mean she trusts him greatly.
Wow, now that completely sucks, talk about getting a mis-read on a guy (and you both aren't in your 20's FFS)! Sorry to hear this, Miss Cherise but, yeah, there's no reason to tell someone so early, when you don't even know if you want him in your life or not. I don't give a shit about ho-talk, that guy's just a total fucking loser for sending a cock-stroking video, no matter what, AYFKM? How to impress a lady - send her a cock video? NOT! What a total moron! I'm glad you found out early about him!
Meanwhile, you may not want to attend any high school reunions anyway but take it as a lesson for stronger boundaries. While you may want to live an honest, authentic life, you still get to be CHOOSY about who you tell what to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Let the congregation shout "AMEN!"While you may want to live an honest, authentic life, you still get to be CHOOSY about who you tell what to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have to disagree with these fatalists. I have my secrets in my life, some that only a few others in a certain process or processes know, and well they were so long ago and never surfaced, pretty sure they never well. But for all that, I would say take the chance and don't tell. At least don't tell if it will make the difference in losing or keeping the situation the way you want. And be aware, that once told, it will be out. Like if you tell a guy, and he bolts, and his friends ask why, he is very likely to tell why. And even though it might have been long ago and far away, your isolation will be lost. If the guy you are worried about sees you as an angel, keep it that way. As long as there has never been a picture your fact out there, you can deny
Totally misunderstood my post
I don't care about whether my g/f was and escort. I'll accept her as she is. Having dated escorts, I know of what i'm talking about. What my post was about is that no one needs to know exactly how many miles of cock a girl has sucked. How big, how many,....whether she's done a gangbang etc. Unless of course you get off on that kind of stuff. If a guy is really interested in a girls sexual past in that way...you gotta wonder if he's crossed the line from being a typical horny guy to being a creepy perv.
It doesn't have to happen at a wedding, but if someone "outed" you, then you and I would have a talk about it, but I wouldn't be asking you about every client you've had. That would be creepy.
As long as they are not doing any of that now, their debt is paid and the past is past.
Only if she plans to be open about it to everyone she meets. Otherwise, when/if the relationship goes bad, you can be sure that everyone else in her social circle will know about it too.
Telling your lover your secrets is all good and well, but then it becomes their secret as well, and there is no guarantee they will keep them. If they don't need to know, do you really want to trust them sometime down the road?
And I'm not sure I get the reasoning behind this anyway - the girl should tell her guy all her deepest secrets, but the guy doesn't have to? If he has a deep secret that could impact your relationship, you can bet that 99.9% of the time he is not going to mention it, so why is this a standard that needs to apply to women only?
If you can't or won't give of yourself freely without expectation of something in return, you have no business being in a relationship in the first place.
It goes both ways. If she is just taking and not giving freely of herself in return, then it isn't a relationship either.
Both have to do it. Otherwise you are just using each other. As soon as one or the other in a relationship starts "expecting" something, it is over, and they have moved into an exploitative arrangement.
actually, i was thinking about getting business cards printed up to hand out at my 30 yr reunion coming up , hehe!Meanwhile, you may not want to attend any high school reunions anyway but take it as a lesson for stronger boundaries. While you may want to live an honest, authentic life, you still get to be CHOOSY about who you tell what to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i was teased and bullied relentlessly in school , and now the tables are turned . all of those jocks have become al bundy and hit on me all of the time
