Do I have an anger management problem or were my outbursts justified?

[Prince#3]

Listen, being rejected and canceled hurts. She is essentially saying she prefers to do it with other men and prefers other men's money.

I am a repeating client (I see her once a week when I have the time and money). I dress nice and try look as best as I could. I shower beforehand and try to be as clean as I could. I tip. I ask for consent before I do something. I am always on time. (I always get to her place 10 minutes early)

I strive to be a high-quality client and would like to be treated as such.

 

[sybian]

Listen, being rejected and canceled hurts. She is essentially saying she prefers to do it with other men and prefers other men's money.

I am a repeating client (I see her once a week when I have the time and money).

Even if she was to accept your appointment...........The young lady will still see other men, and accept other men's money.
Perhaps you have become to close and/or possessive,being a repeating client, and she wanted to assert some form of control over the situation.

 

[MixedDude]

Even if she was to accept your appointment...........The young lady will still see other men, and accept other men's money.
Perhaps you have become to close and/or possessive,being a repeating client, and she wanted to assert some form of control over the situation.

Yep. Would you also send her an angry message for that too?

 

[sevenofnine]

I think you need to drop it, walk away,
being some place your not wanted forcing your self into something your not welcome,
who wants to be with some one where your not fucking wanted.

if you can't ;you should talk to someone,
its not a healthy mental attitude,

you know, and shit happens, I had a big fall out with the sp I see,
a fucking big fall out.

but I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of hanging on, I went on with my life, I saw other sp's, I wrote glorious reviews of them,
after six months or a year of cooling off, and being repeatedly stood up
yeah I was in a bar crying in my beer, this lady I really wanted to see, stood me up, I phoned her texted her, we had an appointment, its like what the fuck, she forgot or had a better offer,
I don't know, she thought I wasn't worth the bother,
anyway, angrily I texted my sp, I think this was the third time I tried to see a lady unsuccessfully,

and I went off on my sp,
sitting in a bar crying in my beer stood up for fuck sake,,, if you would just see me again.

I never expected anything,
but instantly she responded ok,

the best thing you can do for yourself my friend is show you can be a good client.
whining and crying on a message board, is not what a good client makes.

 

[P_e_r_b]

Listen, being rejected and canceled hurts. She is essentially saying she prefers to do it with other men and prefers other men's money.

I am a repeating client (I see her once a week when I have the time and money). I dress nice and try look as best as I could. I shower beforehand and try to be as clean as I could. I tip. I ask for consent before I do something. I am always on time. (I always get to her place 10 minutes early)

I strive to be a high-quality client and would like to be treated as such.

Feel free to PM me. Dr. P_E_R_B is in. :couch2:

 

[Ms Erica Phoenix]

Listen, being rejected and canceled hurts. She is essentially saying she prefers to do it with other men and prefers other men's money.

She isn't saying any such thing. You are reading that into her comments because you're hurt, and angry.

I strive to be a high-quality client and would like to be treated as such.

As soon as you become abusive, you stop being a high quality client. You've not shared with us any of the content of the messages, but my best guess is, something you said in your angry texts crossed a line. You frightened her, or you offended her, or you otherwise pissed her off. Perhaps she should take the step of saying so, in your opinion, but she doesn't owe you that. I have had to block a number of men who don't take rejection well, or who just have a wild hair up their ass & like to be abusive. ("Hey you tantrumed prostitute..." was a recent fave!) If my best client suddenly started abusing me via text, I might wonder where & how his choo choo ran off the rails, & whether he might lose it on me in person next time I see him if I do something he doesn't like. Take another look at the messages you sent her, or better yet, ask a woman to take a look, & try to figure out which it is. Once you've done that, apologize to her politely & sincerely, then move on. High quality clients do not harass women who decide to cut off communications. They accept that it's over, & find another favourite.

 

[ddcanz]

It's hard not to feel for the SP in certain cases with their regular clients.
Despite the business relationship she still has feelings as a human being. Feelings on. Feelings off. On. Off. On. Off......
When it's time to make a break (for whatever reason) she has to do what she feels is best in the specific situation.
In essence, she has to make a black and white decision in a not-so-black and white environment.
As much as it blows for Johnny to get kicked to the curb, I'm pretty sure that Jane still carries at least wee bit of weight for it.
It's only human nature, after all.

 

[felixthecat]

As for the claim of if an SP says nothing she has no case for a criminal harassment charge, this too is false. Criminal harassment is defined threatening conduct toward another person (stalking, following them AND unwanted communication). The police would advise the victim to not engage the individual but to call 911 if they felt threatened.

True, there are outright criminal situations, including real-life stalking. If it's just "unwanted communications" alone, you would have to justify why it's "unwanted". Clearly stating so is one way. If it's not done, there is a grey area as to when it becomes "unwanted": after two unanswered messages? Five? Ten? When SPs don't set a clear boundary, I don't see how they would risk their career outing a client to the police on a subjective interpretation of "unwanted communications".

Reading between the lines, OP's "angry" messages were probably not threatening or abusive (since the SP responded apologetically, at least the first time). We see angry messages everywhere (including this thread).
Blacklist a client because he sounds angry? Absolutely, seems like a safe practice. Jump to the conclusion he's a criminal? That's too judgemental.

 

[P_e_r_b]

Reading between the lines, OP's "angry" messages were probably not threatening or abusive (since the SP responded apologetically, at least the first time). We see angry messages everywhere (including this thread).

Thanks for that. :drum:

 

[ParadiseChaser]

Listen, being rejected and canceled hurts. She is essentially saying she prefers to do it with other men and prefers other men's money.

I am a repeating client (I see her once a week when I have the time and money). I dress nice and try look as best as I could. I shower beforehand and try to be as clean as I could. I tip. I ask for consent before I do something. I am always on time. (I always get to her place 10 minutes early)

I strive to be a high-quality client and would like to be treated as such.

Look man I get what you are saying but there is no scenario where it is justified to send angry messages at her. You sound like you took it personally and the last thing a sp or anyone wants is a client with drama. No you are not the only person she sees and yes maybe she had someone else she likes spending time more than you who tried to book the same time and she went with her. It is perfectly within her right to do so. Just because we are paying doesn't mean we have the right to dictate anything. You are not buying a phone from bestbuy you are having sex with a person.

I had a visiting Toronto escort cancel on me because she slept through the alarm (or whatever else the real reason was) , I waited for ten minutes in front of the hotel asking if I should wait or leave and never got a reply back. Sent her a message later on on perb saying "would be polite to say it's not happening instead of radio silence" and she said "I don't have time to text everyone back who texts me". I did not go off the rail and send her angry messages because you know what she is right. I am not the only guy she is going to see. And she doesn't owe me anything. She lost my business but that's her decision. I just moved on and I don't care.

 

[JonnyBoi]

Listen, being rejected and canceled hurts. She is essentially saying she prefers to do it with other men and prefers other men's money.

I am a repeating client (I see her once a week when I have the time and money). I dress nice and try look as best as I could. I shower beforehand and try to be as clean as I could. I tip. I ask for consent before I do something. I am always on time. (I always get to her place 10 minutes early)

I strive to be a high-quality client and would like to be treated as such.

Wow, someone sounds more spoiled than me

Jokes aside; You need to man up. If you wish for me to break it down for you, you simply weren't of good value to her anymore. Yes, money is good. Yes, hygiene is important, but I think most ladies doing this prefers safety and respect more than anything. If you just wish to pay and unload, go to an Asian micro. Have the ladies line up for you and stroke your ego that way.

You were in too deep and got inside your own head. This is a business; and business doesn't owe you anything. You were too dramatic and too much trouble so you are not worth her time anymore. Who cares about your previous sunk cost - you've proven to be a liability. Move on and find another girl and don't fly off the handle. See the above response from PC on "How to be a proper gentleman".

Good day and best of luck to ya. I don't think it's the end of the world, you just can't see this SP anymore (I mean, until you have a better understand of how these "relationships" work).

 

[felixthecat]

I am a repeating client (I see her once a week when I have the time and money). I dress nice and try look as best as I could. I shower beforehand and try to be as clean as I could. I tip. I ask for consent before I do something. I am always on time. (I always get to her place 10 minutes early)

I strive to be a high-quality client and would like to be treated as such.

To fight your emotions, you have to know what you can control. Which is, find an SP that fits your expectations. There are plenty of SPs who'd value your business if you are the way you say.

You cannot let yourself worry of the things you cannot control. Which include the business practices of the particular SP. Many SPs are a great company but quite bad business-wise, you cannot fix them. Some, quite rarely, don't understand the concept of customer retention, which is like Business 101. Some have poor time-management and appointment skills. Some will be bad at communication. Whatever it is, assume you cannot fix it.

Other than business, there is a personal component (chemistry / YMMV). It's not just you choosing an SP, she has to 'like you back' and it may not be the case for random reasons e.g. you reminding her about an old enemy. The best SPs have a low YMMV factor, but they are still human.

That said, you still have to look at your own issues, which are the display of anger and unrealistic expectations of what is guaranteed in these arrangements.

 

[Man Mountain]

I had a visiting Toronto escort cancel on me because she slept through the alarm (or whatever else the real reason was) , I waited for ten minutes in front of the hotel asking if I should wait or leave and never got a reply back. Sent her a message later on on perb saying "would be polite to say it's not happening instead of radio silence" and she said "I don't have time to text everyone back who texts me". I did not go off the rail and send her angry messages because you know what she is right. I am not the only guy she is going to see. And she doesn't owe me anything. She lost my business but that's her decision. I just moved on and I don't care.

I understand what you're saying but in this case, in my opinion, you have every right to be pissed and at the very least, you should have posted a review that this SP totally wasted your time without so much as an apology and to add insult, copping an attitude about it afterwards.

 

[ParadiseChaser]

I understand what you're saying but in this case, in my opinion, you have every right to be pissed and at the very least, you should have posted a review that this SP totally wasted your time without so much as an apology and to add insult, copping an attitude about it afterwards.

Yea but that's just going to create more negativity on both ends. I am a pretty easygoing person so it was no biggie for me even though she was rude. I ended up meeting someone I really really like thanks to her cancellation so I should thank her haha.

 

[badbadboy]

Listen, being rejected and canceled hurts. She is essentially saying she prefers to do it with other men and prefers other men's money.

I am a repeating client (I see her once a week when I have the time and money). I dress nice and try look as best as I could. I shower beforehand and try to be as clean as I could. I tip. I ask for consent before I do something. I am always on time. (I always get to her place 10 minutes early)

I strive to be a high-quality client and would like to be treated as such.

Sure it hurts but this is pay for play. No amount of $, dressing nicely etc will change her mind after your outbursts. It sounds like you felt like you were getting close to her emotionally and she doesn't share those feelings.

We have the luxury of choosing who we want to spend time with; without providing any reason why we never return either. Same applies to SP's.

Sometimes I don't get a reply back to my date requests too. No biggie and I just move on. Just in case you haven't noticed, there are a lot of hot SP's living locally and visiting Vancouver.

Time to move on as many others have already stated.

 

[ParadiseChaser]

Wow I'm sorry to hear that you were left hanging, but glad it seemed to work out for you in the end. I'm always super paranoid about alarms in the morning and have never slept through and missed an appointment!

Yea early morning meetups are incredibly sexy and fun when you are there but it is always "oh god why did I agree to this" when you wake up early. I always stress out about not waking up and set the alarm(s) to two hours before too.

 

[Man Mountain]

Yea but that's just going to create more negativity on both ends. I am a pretty easygoing person so it was no biggie for me even though she was rude. I ended up meeting someone I really really like thanks to her cancellation so I should thank her haha.

You have a really good and positive attitude and I commend you for that. I do still feel like the community should be warned about someone who is a flake with a bad attitude but I'm glad you found someone else who respected your time and that one worked out for you.

 

[westwoody]

they would risk their career outing a client to the police on a subjective interpretation of "unwanted communications".

Going to police over an obsessed customer should not put a woman's career at risk.

Police are discreet about these matters and it may happen a lot more than we know.

 

[P_e_r_b]

"you're ugly, your dick is small and your beer gut is revolting".

Hey! Are you hacking my emails? I get at least one of those a week...

 

[Ms Erica Phoenix]

I think far too many assume that police would even care or want to talk to us. Do you know how difficult it is to even find 1 local police officer that would be understanding or safe enough for us to talk to? This can be a dangerous industry and some think we deserve whatever happens to us being a sex worker unfortunately. I've been harassed many many and even had a stalker, it's not fun.

Ms Charlotte: so you know when you get here, if you need help from the police while you are in Vancouver, the VPD has an angel on Earth by the name of Linda Malcolm. Indeed, even if you aren't in Vancouver but just in BC she may be able to give you advice at least, if not direct assistance. I believe her official title is Sex Industry Liasion Officer or something resembling that.

(PS our mutual LUSH loving friend Mr. Ford says we ought to meet up when you are here! :eyebrows: