Do I have an anger management problem or were my outbursts justified?

tiger69

He who hungers for more.
Sep 5, 2015
244
0
16
Richmond
Even if she was your gf, which she wasn't, you still wouldn't be completely right in getting angry when she didn't want to see you- and in this case, no way to justify it at all. She didn't want your business, take it elsewhere. End of story.
 

burcs

Banned
Jun 26, 2014
1,058
0
0
"ymmv"
Elitist attitudes aside, most of what was said are valid points.

It's not always easy to refrain from acting on impulse, but try to be conscientious about it (and I'm not just talking about pooning either). It's empowering to feel a sense of control in your life that you otherwise wouldn't have.
 

giaebonyprincess

Active member
Jan 1, 2017
737
171
43
I guess we all do, but it depends on how you choose to deal with it. Sometimes we need to step back and think about it before acting, hence my rant in recent Winnipeg forum.
 

sevenofnine

Active member
Nov 21, 2008
2,015
9
38
maybe consider actually thanking an sp for not seeing you or standing you up, or being a bitch in your opinion that you won't see her,

look at the money you save.
look at the stress free life you will have if you don't have to deal with a high maintenance bitch,,


and im not saying the women is wrong, or im judging her, the guy might be the ass hole,

but either way, money in the pocket is always good, and free of stress even better,
 

BaconNeggs

New member
Jan 13, 2017
266
4
0
BC Canada
Why would anyone want to see someone who doesn't want to see them.
Instead go see those who truly enjoy you and love spending time with you.
 

westwoody

Well-known member
Jun 10, 2004
7,734
7,361
113
Westwood
This could be a learning experience.

Most ladies are incredibly tolerant and forgiving. I had a blowout with one once, and she dumped me.
She took the time and effort to be honest and educate me exactly what I was doing wrong.
I learned from her lesson and try to be a nicer guy now.
It really pays off.
 

agentman

Feelin' Poontastic
Apr 30, 2005
390
12
18
Stuff happens, just move onto the next lady. For myself when dealing with anger i just tell myself nothing works out a 100% the way i want it to, that applies to everyone. Once i looked at life that way, i am calm and relaxed throughout the day.
 

submissive

Member
Feb 14, 2017
31
0
6
I remember telling a gent way back that I'm not available bc I was sick he said its ok I'm sick too. How sick is that.
Some ppl really don't want to hear no.
i have canceled because i was sick. i didn't want to give an illness to the SP. Thus affecting Her
living! It happens.
 

felixthecat

Well-known member
Aug 28, 2011
1,572
36
48
give her some space, let her know your interested in seeing her agian , and if she never replies there is your answer :)
Silence is terribly overrated as a communication option. It's not that difficult to communicate what's going on, such as "I will not see you again" and/or "please do not contact me" or "I am blocking you". Getting a former regular to wonder and waste his time is not really necessary.

This could be a learning experience.

Most ladies are incredibly tolerant and forgiving. I had a blowout with one once, and she dumped me.
She took the time and effort to be honest and educate me exactly what I was doing wrong.
I learned from her lesson and try to be a nicer guy now.
It really pays off.
Yes, that was nice of her.

OP could be quite confused, but at least he asked for feedback and seemed to be open to other opinions.
 

UhOh

Well-known member
Dec 11, 2011
2,081
520
113
Any angry text, yeah that was a great idea. How could that not have worked.
Maybe stick to watching porn.
 

westwoody

Well-known member
Jun 10, 2004
7,734
7,361
113
Westwood
It's not that difficult to communicate what's going on, such as "I will not see you again" and/or "please do not contact me" or "I am blocking you".
Well one local lady has a major problem with a member.
She has told him all those things and he still does not stop.
Putting someone on ignore is necessary sometimes.
 

sybian

Well-known member
Dec 23, 2014
3,652
1,003
113
Kamloops B.C.
Unfortunately this doesn't work. I can't tell you how many times I've told a blacklisted guy exactly why i wouldn't see them (asked for unsafe stuff, shorted money, refused to shower, started stalking, was too rough etc) and they continue to ask again and again and again. Sometimes they pretend they have forgotten, sometimes they hope enough time has passed you have forgotten, sometimes they beg for an exception, sometimes they pretend to be a new person. In our situation we can't win either way, ignoring/blocking someone is usually the least headache, unless they make a new identity and start all over again.


Yup.......Just what a girl needs to start her awesome week.............File another restraining order.
 

felixthecat

Well-known member
Aug 28, 2011
1,572
36
48
I have done all of the above an dI can tell you when you reject a person who can't take rejection and or has anger issues , it only escalates the situation , so I have learned to ignore and BLOCK ther number :) sadly some guys when rejected use diffrent phones, change thier voice... etc and stll land on my door step... only to have me turn them away :(
I have no opinion on the best way to reject strangers. Understandably, some are beyond hope and maybe not be worth wasting time. From dialogs posted on twitter, some SPs still warn "I am blocking you". I think it shows they are considerate even to people they dislike.

OP was a regular client though. There must be some level of acceptance and connection. It's not the same as breaking up with a boyfriend, but some standard of humane treatment could be in order.

Ghosting people may be just sweeping problems under the rug. I've been in a contact with a reasonable guy, who got some weird ideas due to the lack of information.
Several times on PERB people advised to, or said they did, use a different phone / email for probing when contacting by the normal means failed. I wouldn't do it myself, but I see how it is a rational time-saving reaction to being ghosted. It might be quite common, so a direct rejection could be saving SP's time too.

Also, you are losing the option of police help. There will be no valid harassment / stalking claim if you never told the person their communications are unwanted.

I don't advocate responding on and on. My point is, explicitly saying "no" at least once is both polite and a recognized necessary step to separate reasonable people from unreasonable.

Well one local lady has a major problem with a member.
She has told him all those things and he still does not stop.
Putting someone on ignore is necessary sometimes.
That's a different story.
Normally, I'd expect SPs keep client information protected (potential clients too), unless they are dangerous.

If the client was told "no" and continues unwanted advances, I think it's proper to not just ignore him but go to the police.
 

felixthecat

Well-known member
Aug 28, 2011
1,572
36
48
wow did you not read the first 7 words of my last reply ? "I have done all of the above ......

in response to your previous comment

btw way why pick me out as the 1 to argue with? ,when clearly others feel the same way I do ?

as for the OP the advice I offered was how to behave in the future not how to save face now that she is clearly avoiing him , does any one need to be told " Iam not interested in meeeting with you again " after an angery outburst .. really , I think what ever way a lady chooses she will still have back up form police if a man continues to stalk or harass ( contact repeatedly , including if she is only ignoring them .

Correction Edit

I know this to be a fact as Ihave had a few stalkers in my life and even ignored the police have tracked them down and told them to cease and desist, that no communication is a clear sign of no interest Period :)
Of course I read your post. I thought about responding in a similar style: "if you ignore a person who can't take rejection and/or has anger issues, it might escalate the situation even more than if you reject him". Then expanded with some arguments.

Which is the same point you made now: ignoring did not protect you from stalkers (sorry to hear about that).

Feel free to agree or disagree with my arguments. I don't see anything personal about it. Obviously, you will conduct your business the way you wish. There's lots of judgement calls involved.
 
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