Do abusive people ever get better?

[Storm]

Abusive physically, emotionally and/or mentally and better to the point of not hurting others and/or themselves anymore.

 

[zennrocks]

hope

lets hope so

z

 

[Osiris]

A friend of mine works with abused women. Apparently the hardest task in her line of work is convincing the abused to leave the situation.

Like Catalynn said, leave and burn all bridges.

 

[hitrack]

I don't deal with psychos, I put 'em away!!

Lieutenant Marion 'Cobra' Cobretti

 

[Lefty]

Habitual abusers can "unlearn" their ways but not on their own. Much therapy and introspection is necessary. Many are substance abusers at some level and if they can't dry-up etc, it won't happen.
If anyone out there thinks that they may need some help and want to change there ways, don't delay. Go see a doctor for a referral and get started.

 

[Cock Throppled]

My ex lived with an abuser for ten years. She had the guts to leave, finally and then we hooked up. She is a lovely woman who is very tolerant and not confrontational at all. The jerk now lives with another woman, and by all accounts he has never hit her. He wasn't a druggie, was a bit of drinker and took no therapy. Either he knows the new woman will fight back, or he just decided to mature and act like a human. He's still a jerk, but he doesn't seem to hit women any more.

 

[Sativa`]

I was off and on for 7 years again with a man who was emotionally abusesive ect, narrcissitic I think the word was? If people want to change, they have to get the help, if they dont, then no they wont. They will only get more settled into thier behaviour. My ex wasnt a druggie or a drunk, although we each liked our beer and american ciggarettes *wink* , I found it stemed from other things that had nothing to do with me but I became the target for all this emotional rage and pent up crap. I do belive people can change, but in a society where they can just go to woman to woman who let them, no they won't. After going back 3 times thinking it might be differnt, it never was, for long anyways. More than my 2 cents worth......lol

 

[Storm]

Thankyou for the replies

So far based on the poll it seems most people feel abusers continue their ways.

I'm with this person I care about very much, but I dont know how to help and I feel I'm at my ends rope... They say they need me to stay with them to help, but I seem to be more a hinderence than help. Deep down this person doesn't think there is anything wrong with them and is constantly lying. It's really hard. I just don't know what to do anymore except maybe leave.

Anyways, thankyou for your input.

 

[Sativa`]

There is a fine line yet not touched, is the abuse the person or an abuse...an abuse can be helped wiht counselling and love. My ex was just a manic...look at the underlying issues. Remember to think of you too....just because you love someone doesnt mean you have to comprimise yourself....

Peace

 

[dilligaf]

there is hope for some

I was abusive,emotionally for years learnred it from good old dad.It cost me the most memerable relationship I ever had,I seeked counseling to try to repair the relationship,which was for the wrong reason.
Y ou need to realize you have a problem and want to change your behaviour for yourself no one else,its not you thats bad its your behaviour,also abuse goes in cycles
the honey moon
then things seem ok
anger and mistrust
rage
make up and more promises to change
back to the honey moon.
You have to remember there are benefits and consequences in everything you do.