In my opinion, using your hands is a huge part of foreplay. Using digits doesn't mean finger banging her with 4 fingers. It can be very sensual if you pay attention to the lady's ques. Just stroking her labia and lightly grazing her clitoris while she gently strokes your penis is a huge turn on. When you feel her natural lubricant present, start with gently introducing your finger tip into her vagina. If she doesn't object, then slowly go a little deeper. When things are totally lubed up, introduce a second finger and watch her reaction. If she's stroking your member harder and moaning, she's into it. If she says stop, stop. I saw one lady once who told me right off the bat that fingers weren't allowed inside. I was ok with that. I stayed outside and gently stroked her labia and clit until she was in a tizzy. She grabbed my hand and shoved 3 fingers in and finger fucked herself until she squirted. If a lady says she doesn't allow any touching of her vagina, which is her right, is a no go for me and a wondering why she's in this business to begin with.