Did it change you?

[hornygandalf]

Isn't that kinda simple?
The answer is staring at you...

 

[UhOh]

Isn't that kinda simple?
The answer is staring at you...

Ahh yes, it is kinda simple but the fact that you had to ask has now raised my suspicions. We might have another joe45 account on our hands.

 

[BORKO]

the bad part is if you do find yourself getting emotionally attached to the girls, where you think about them away from sessions and it tears at your heart strings with similar feelings you would normally get from potential love interest relationships

If you feel like that, then you need to stop seeing escorts and start seeing normal girls.

 

[eggtart_prince]

I would like to see contributions to these questions, they are thought provoking, and let's face it, having repeated sexual interactions in a 'pay for play' setting would have to have some affect on both parties.

Positively? Do you feel more comfortable talking to women after frequently visiting your favorite SP(s)?

Having worked as an escort did produce a change in the way I interacted with men. Before escorting I was an insatiable flirt, but after I found myself pulling back and not using my feminine wiles (which were more instinctual than contrived) when conversing. I think I became more alert to the fact that it is unfair to tease if I had no intention of following through.

Psychologically and/or physically? Do you feel that you are more manlier? Your sexual techniques got better?

I liked the positive reinforcement, that probably goes both ways, two people intent on impressing each other pay a lot of compliments, and it made me feel sexier. I learned a whole lot of ways to give hand jobs, every guy has a special way of doing it...that was enlightening. In the beginning, (way back when), it was pretty standard procedures (no daty, kissing, digits etc) when the menu increased I found there were a lot of things I didn't like, but put up with as it became expected, but eventually I had to bow out, as the wear and tear on an older body was more than I could take. Not a lot of men are really good at daty, or digits, and it was getting harder to smile and pretend.

Negatively? Aside from burning a whole in your wallet, do you feel or think that an average women can no longer satisfy you? Do you feel that you will be expecting escort level service from average women?

On occasion I have eventually told a lover that I was previously an escort and it seemed to change the tempo, it was like 'game on' and suddenly I was expected to perform instead of being a mutual participant.

Negatively, I think it might have interfered with my ability to have normal sex with a lover. I can get too analytical, especially when they pull the 'moves' I recognize, and I just hate when a guy expects you to cum in the first few minutes, you know it is distracting to have someone stare in your face trying to make you cum, it kills the mood.

Guys talk about escorts going through mechanically, 'do this, and then this and then, this', but maybe guys who see escorts get into the same rut. Sometimes, it is so much about doing everything it gets too frantic and neither party can focus on the actual pleasure, but it ends up a game of scoring points "how many times did you cum?" I don't even care if I cum, I can do that any day of the week by myself, many, many times. Having sex with another person is more about stuff I can't do for myself.

I used to look at escorting as a means for a guy to get some relief and a woman to earn some extra cash, and I used to believe it was just an occasional thing men would do, but the scene seems to have changed to where it is gradually becoming the primary means of a man to have a sexual interaction with a woman (Japan for example). I do wonder if pooning, regularly, affects a man's interactions with his SO

Very informational and interesting at the same time. I think pooning will affect the interaction with a man's SO and also will affect the expectation of returned pleasure since they've been stimulated with professionals. Although I've never tried pooning nor have I gone through the said affects, I can imagine that it will. I'm single and I can imagine that this hobby will affect someone psychologically, be it addiction, expectations, or more. That doesn't goes to say that it is positive or negative, could be both, could be none.

Not so fast, joe isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer. If you're really not him than perhaps you could prove it by answering the following skill testing question.

6 x 14 / 6 + 48 -14

Isn't that kinda simple?
The answer is staring at you...

Ahh yes, it is kinda simple but the fact that you had to ask has now raised my suspicions. We might have another joe45 account on our hands.

It is no wonder you guys are so susceptible to joe45's trolling because you guys are so responsive to these kind of posts. You rather respond to garbage post like UhOh's rather than sticking to the original post. It's ironic, immature, and hypocritical at the same time that you guys suspect someone as a troll, when all you guys do is troll other people's thread. Stick with the topic or don't post at all.

 

[sevenofnine]

I used to think I was above it all,

I mean I felt I was some how better then everyone else.

After years in this hobby and pretty much being controlled by my prick.

It has been a humbling experience.

On a positive note.
I went on an emotionally roller coaster ride with a women.
I say roller coaster because my emotions were all over the place.
But positive in the sense we have and continue to work it out
and its nice to feel alive feel something.

I would say prostitution is wrong, only when you treat the other person, wrong, badly with out respect.

I would say cheating on your wife is wrong, only when you throw it in her face make her feel like dirt or inadequate, blame her for your indiscretions. Take care of it respectfully discreetly.

I would say, so many people are cowards or fools or stupid.
In the sense they missed out or missing out on parts of life.

I am glad this hobby revealed how such a fucking fool I can be,
so I can cherish what I have.

After years in this hobby, what I have enjoyed and valued and liked, is not at all the sex.
But the women I have met the friendships,

I think prostitution is wrong in the sense if you believe a women is only some body parts for you to use.
You are missing out on so much.
It shallows it cheapens life.

In the same sense that if you think being a parent is just being a sperm donor,
It is your loss and your kids are most likely better off with you.

I learned that life, takes courage to feel
it ain't all pretty.
and it hurts.

But there are good hurts, you feel pain and sadness for a reason.

 

[PlayfulAlex]

I used to think I was above it all....snip

This is perhaps my favourite post of yours, ever. Thanks 7of9!

 

[BORKO]

Yes. Seeing SP's has changed me. Overall, yes. Positively. Its possible that seeing SP's has helped my confidence in chatting up women but for the most part I was able to do this already. However... I think it has opened a door to being more confident with HOT women. Like depending on the situation, I wouldn't have approached one before this hobby.

Making the transition back to civilian women may be tough. I'm concerned I might behave in a similar fashion as I generally do with SP's. eg give direction, playfully slap an ass, etc. Or, worse, I could revert back to the old me (pussy, too sub etc). Part of why I got into this hobby was to gain confidence and learn to communicate better in the bedroom.

I think that in this hobby, there's a real tendency to look for the best deal (value) and the next "high". (Kink, hotter woman, better ass etc etc). Some of this might apply in the real world, in that in similar ways we all tend to do this anyway, but in some ways but I worry that seeing only SP's might condition one to behave in a manner somewhat unfitting to the real world. Like on a 2nd date would I ask if she's into bondage fantasies?

Positives: tried things I never would've with a civi, met some cool people, gained more insight into the world of SP's, gained more sex knowledge, enjoyed some great sessions and am learning that sex can be just that, which is very beneficial to me. I think my sexual fitness has improved and depending on the chemestry, overall, I've gotten better in bed.

Negatives: has become a bit of a habit ($$) and for me, I find that I tend to "hold off" until I can book with a fav SP. I think this is un natural in some ways and possibly not good for my body. Have had a few B&S, been stood up (rarely), some poor service, etc. but these have been a minority.

Bottom line: no regrets! It still continues to be fun!

Sounds like you're using hookers to find your real sexual personality and you shouldn't be so worried about this transitioning over to your personal life. Just keep the same personality and find the people you are into and into you. Sex for free should be way better and infinitely more rewarding than sex for money since it should be more honest and the parties are there because they like each other and if she's trying kinky stuff it's more likely she's into you and kink.

 

[UhOh]

Sex for free should be way better and infinitely more rewarding than sex for money since it should be more honest and the parties are there because they like each other and if she's trying kinky stuff it's more likely she's into you and kink.

100% agreed. There's no comparison between paid sex and free sex. Starting a new relationship and screwing day night morning afternoon, no condoms, going out for a drive, for food, for a walk, to movies.
I like doing hot SP's also but its not even close to being in a relationship with someone you like being with.

 

[BORKO]

Borko: interesting insights. Something to consider. Thanks.

Uhoh. As per your handle, I need to make a decision on the old "snip snip" (vasectomy) before entering that arena again. But no doubt about what you both speak of!

Snip snip? Don't believe in other forms of birth control?

 

[Hoops]

I used to think I was above it all,
I mean I felt I was some how better then everyone else.
I think prostitution is wrong in the sense if you believe a women is only some body parts for you to use.
You are missing out on so much.
It shallows it cheapens life.

You still think you're better than others.
I'm sure you know that your arrogance bothers me and others on this board.
This post is a perfect example of your arrogance.

You think you've come so far, but you continue to judge others.
We're all just johns paying hookers for sex.

 

[rocky_11]

Did it change me....yes suddenly single and over 50 I was lost I met a early thirties young lady by accident and asked her to coffee life changed from that point on.... When she told me what she did for a living I was surprised but not afraid ....in the two months that followed she taught me everything I had led a sheltered life....I lost my fear of approaching women... gained confidence the only downside is that I would like to sample more than the wallet permits this took place in Prince George where the availability of quality sp s is limited You learn to be careful quickly...

 

[tantalizeme]

Nice topic

Do you think that seeking the service of an SP has changed you?

Positively? Negatively?

It’s a fact about my sexuality that it thrives on a stream of strangers. When I've sex with the same person—even someone I deeply care about as a person—the electrifying buzz soon goes largely out of it.

My tendency to enjoy strangers more than regular partners originally drove me to pooning, but pooning has since reinforced it further.

Is that positive or negative?

Well, I suppose from the point of view of a lady that might want to settle down with me it's probably negative. But from the point of view of my own joy of life, I certainly relish the excitement that gets my hormones racing.

 

[BORKO]

Nothings perfect. Even with a vasectomy I gather its wise to get a sperm count test done after the operation. Of course in this hobby, I always use a condom. And, my somewhat naïve assumption is that most SP's are on the pill. (Yes I checked that recent perb thread)

My comment was in regards to uhoh's comment. (Condomless sex) I'm not in a position to become a daddy so want the risk of pregnancy as low as possible.

Uhm, in my experience in most sexual relationships before the parties start fucking without a condom they discuss what birth control they would be using as an alternative and go with a birth control that would work for both of them without minimal side effects to either party. Getting STI tests and sharing the results is probably a good idea too before they start barebacking each other. In my opinion, getting a vasectomy seems pretty drastic for condomless sex given the potential side effects, that it might not take and that if you want kids I heard one of the best ways to get at it is to extract it with a needle which sounds like an OWWIE.

I'd think the hardest part of for you is if you really think you're into kinky stuff and need it, is finding a partner who's kinky side lines up directly with yours. From what I've been told it sounds like in addition to every normal girls laundry list of wants in a perfect man (eg I want him to be tall, handsome, a professional, confident, gluten free, loves to travel blah blah) a kinky girl has another laundry list of qualities in a perfect kinky man, that given the broad spectrum of kinkiness, makes it even harder to find someone compatible to them... But good luck in the real world of dating to you.

 

[sevenofnine]

You still think you're better than others.
I'm sure you know that your arrogance bothers me and others on this board.
This post is a perfect example of your arrogance.

You think you've come so far, but you continue to judge others.
We're all just johns paying hookers for sex.

Not at all.


You misunderstand.

I am an old guy.

I watched my mother grow old and depressed.
I sat with a friend on his death bed trying to make amends to his kids for being so miserable.

I get drunk with an old guy who crys how bad of a parent he is.

How many guys have said on this board gold diggers, its mechanical.
Or the happiest man is someone who comes home to a wife and kids.

I am bringing out a different view, that is all, then a fifteen minute micro experiance, then going to a third world country for sex tourism.

To be perfectly honest some people are better off with fifteen minute sessions or half an hour or with some one that can't speak english.

Some people have wife kids family, the thought process is different the thinking behind it all is quite differeent, a different point of view that is all.

And of course were all johns.
Being a friend to a hooker costs you more money then a half an hour session, how much I have paid for this.

But the experiance is quite different, going from hooker to hooker looking for bargins or more thrills or sex tourism,

as opposed to finding a women and staying with her for ten years like I have and others, actuallly having a relationship with her.

Some people don't give a dam, some people do, I have sat and got drunk with them and watched them cry,

Me and my kid went cross country sking yesterday and on the way in the car, had a pretty frank discussion about sex and life.
Like I said some people are sperm donars thats all the parent they are,
some guys are better off with someone who can't speak the same lanquage.


Im giving a different point of view thats all.

Not everyone thinks the same.

 

[cherise]

We're all just johns paying hookers for sex.

so what about the ones that aren't having sex? there are more than a few on this board that ,while perhaps sex was the agenda initially,now they simply just enjoy the sp's company.
i try and look at this like a dating service with fringe benefits lolz.i will not spend time with just anyone that can afford it! if i am not into it ,its not going to happen. and its not about looks or anything superficial. you could be quasimodo and still be attractive based on who you are inside.

i used to have a lot of money ....never worried about things financial. but shit happens and i found myself completely broke. but i tried to keep up appearances so i would g out on dinner and theater dates. but found myself thinking"how can i enjoy this meal, this opera, whatever knowing how costly it was . how could i respect this man just frivolously throwing so much money away. the total bill for the evening would pay a months rent for my son and i". i was humbled very quickly.

enter escorting ....skip dinner ,skip the play, use the money saved towards more essential things ,and skip to the main event works for me!
and i still get to enjoy some evenings out.

so yes, i suppose for many it boils down to hookers and johns just having contractual sex, but how sad and empty they must be after all is said and done.
my way may not be right for everybody ,but it is for me, and i've made more than a few good friends out of clients ,so it must work for others as well.

 

[cherise]

It’s a fact about my sexuality that it thrives on a stream of strangers. When I've sex with the same person—even someone I deeply care about as a person—the electrifying buzz soon goes largely out of it.

My tendency to enjoy strangers more than regular partners originally drove me to pooning, but pooning has since reinforced it further.

Is that positive or negative?

Well, I suppose from the point of view of a lady that might want to settle down with me it's probably negative. But from the point of view of my own joy of life, I certainly relish the excitement that gets my hormones racing.

i feel the same....i think my longest relationship (romantically) was maybe two years. i've never married for that very reason. i found my soulmate but when i took a long hard look at what life would be like tied to one person ....aaaarrrrggghh . i look at a partner and think "could i be happy waking up to that face ,and ONLY that face ,for the next fifty years?" no freakin way. so until i can answer that with a confident yes, single i shall remain

 

[PlayfulAlex]

I agree, Miss Cherise. There are many different types of relationships that can develop from this arena of life.

I've had someone calling me for over a year, who hasn't been able to get away for a visit, he's so concerned about his privacy. Prior to that, we got together about 20 times. Should I tell him to stop calling, if he can't make an appointment? I think not, that would be very shallow.

I've had someone text me when he was in the hospital, waiting for his mom.

I've had someone text me, when his cat was sick.

I've had someone visit me 4 times, and he could barely walk with his cane, after an accident a few years ago.

I've had someone visit me, who had suffered a terrible gun shot wound years ago, and the likelihood of him getting a few minutes with a civvy girl was extremely low, yet we hung out for 2 hours at a time.

I've had a fellow from another province, who saw me once, over a year ago, still send me e-mails in the hopes that he can get back to Vancouver again.

I've had a fellow drive from Seattle, twice during his work assignment there, for 2-hour dates. When he was heading back to his home state, he asked if he could have a picture of me, as I had restored his faith in women, and he wanted the reminder that there were nice women out there. He hoped to find one of his own.

I could go on...

Sex is just a small part of the totality of an SP's year. Anyone that thinks it's just about the sex is very naive indeed.

 

[Hoops]

I used to think I was above it all,
I mean I felt I was some how better then everyone else.
I think prostitution is wrong in the sense if you believe a women is only some body parts for you to use.
You are missing out on so much.
It shallows it cheapens life.
In the same sense that if you think being a parent is just being a sperm donor,
It is your loss and your kids are most likely better off with you.

You clearly have contempt for pooners that see girls purely for the sex.
You think you're above them.
You could choose to state that we all want different things, but you don't.
You choose to judge.
Why the hate?

 

[eggtart_prince]

You clearly have contempt for pooners that see girls purely for the sex.
You think you're above them.
You could choose to state that we all want different things, but you don't.
You choose to judge.
Why the hate?

Hey Hoops, let's keep this each to their own okay?

This has been a very interesting read indeed.

 

[Hoops]

Hey Hoops, let's keep this each to their own okay?

This has been a very interesting read indeed.

hahahaahaha
I think you should go back and read my posts.
That's exactly the way I feel: to each their own.