Dear Jeff letter makes one think seriously

[Addison Cortez]

Just giving money to somebody is not that controversial. Paying for a sex act is quite different. There's a question of consent. A question when (at what dollar amount) it becomes exploitation by the client. A question who are we helping when most money could be going to a pimp or to feeding a drug habit.

At least one prominent board member specialized in those less fortunate women, mostly street walkers. As interesting as his stories could be, they created a mixed feeling. They also could be easily used for anti-industry propaganda. The goal of helping those women could be true, but it also sounds a bit too much self-serving. Importantly, the person himself cannot be sure if all his motives are pure or if deep down he's fine with taking advantage of the women.

I wouldn't want to deserve those "dear Jeff" letters. The safest way to avoid that is to stay away from the questionable situations. Yes, there are lots of women (people, rather) whom the society failed. But there are some less controversial ways to help them.

Agreed but how do you know? I have a pile of my dads laundry here and some guys assume it's my mans but I don't have a man...yet people assume whatever they want to... so how can you REALLY KNOW what the situation is.... (that's a statement, not a question)

just because someone has acne, doesn't mean they on drugs, maybe they are sugar addicts... all I am saying is that you can never know a persons story, because most of us don't even know it ourselves

Bottom line is the girl needs to learn and I would rather learn by a caring hand than a hard lesson.... all influence matters and if you can positively influence a sad case, please do so...

 

[Addison Cortez]

Generally speaking, if a guy got a girl drunk or drugged to take advantage of her, that's rape. So I can see the argument that those who drug themselves in order to concede "consent" are on some level victimised, even if they had a part in it. Plus the drugs can lead to the vicious cycle of needing money to get drugs, needing drugs to do your job and make money. Those are the kind of people I think it's right for society to question whether they should be doing this job (assuming society does more than just judge and scorn, that it also offers solutions).

But then as people here point out, there's the another variety... women who actually enjoy what they do, that don't need to numb themselves to do it. It doesn't fit into the narrative above. It would be great if society could recognise there's more than one dimension to it.

Edit to add: it reminds me of the topic of polyamory. The obvious example people think of is polygamy: kept women married off young and treated as property. But then there's the progressive open minded consensual polyamorists that have more in common with the LGBTQ community than Bountiful. Still the harm of the former is seen as too great a price to acknowledge and legitimise the latter, and so they have to hide in the shadows, making the negative stereotype the only one most people are familiar with.

the bottom line is, they have to make that choice...

 

[clu]

the bottom line is, they have to make that choice...

Agreed. I was trying to say that saying "you shouldn't be doing this" is not enough, even for those for whom it might be true. Those saying that need to offer a carrot not a stick. Then the only people left, in theory, are those that are there by choice.

 

[clu]

I guess it depends how you define molested. She and an older boy (she's vague about the ages making him seem much older. I'm not sure how she couldn't be definite about both their ages);

She was 6. He was 14. Didn't seem vague. I would define that as molested.