Dating an SP

[the old maxx50]

Yoko I think that was the best info any one could give on that subject .. and maybe the closest to the truth in many situation .

And 7 of 9 thanks for reminding every one we are all humans being a sex worked does not change any of that. First they are a women and we are men .

I have had my experiences with women that i met as escorts , as have others ,, the good and the not so good . but few i regret and of those ,i just wish i could of done better .

I enjoy their company as friends . and i am quit happy to introduce them to my mom . she know that i know escorts weather they are or not does not matter to her . what matters is if i like them and i am happy with my friends ..

 

[CJ Tylers]

just curious
if you guys think so highly of an sp or any sp, that you wouldn't date one
why do you bother seeing them,
i can't speak for every sp, out there, but the ones i have seen, or know are just typical women who happen to work as escorts

i see her or the ones i have repeated with, because i enjoy there company, i respect them and like them as a human being,
i like her period, as a women and as a friend.
i wouldn't see a women repeatedy i didn't like and respect, and that is good enough to at least trying dating and see where it goes.

it seems odd to me, that you or men don't respect the women in this enough to try dating or give it a chance,
i agree, it won't or isn't going to be easy, if she continues to work as an sp or even quits at some point,
but is any relationship easy
but like i said i have been with a women in this so much it feels like were dating. and i have a wife, she has some one as well,
but honestly we put our cards on the table.
i think you have to start with honesty. and truth,
and i think that says alot if you think there isn't one women in this that is worth risking or taking a chance on and dating her
maybe the problem isn't the women
im just saying
would any women be good enough for you

not to wade in too deeply, but it takes two to tango. Just as a guy has to wrap his head around his "girl" being an sp, the "girl" has to wrap her head around her "guy" being a pooner. Or whatever descriptive word you want to insert.

The point is, both parties have a tape, or a conversation.. running through their heads. Even if the guy loves and respects the girl, she just might not be able to be that way with him... it's a two way street.

 

[Tugela]

Also, if you want her to learn English well enough for communication, it is only fair, I think, that you learn her language as well. At least the effort is appreciated to us. You need to communicate with her family as well. Asians are very much faily oriented. We like guys who care about our parents as much as their parents.

Lol....I think a relationship where neither can speak each others language well enough (or at all) to be understood is not much of a relationship. I would think that would get old pretty fast.

A long time ago, when I was still at University, we would have these visiting scientists coming in from place like Asia, Eastern Europe and South America for a few months, who could barely speak english. Having to work with someone like that and try to explain technical details to them is just excruciating, they were some of the most frustrating experiences of my life. Nowdays I know better, and I simply wont hire someone I can't readily have a conversation with, no matter what else is on their resume. Communication is the core of any relationship, professional or personal, if you can't do that effectively and simply, you are in trouble. And there is no way I would consider dating or marrying anyone like that. That is just nuts.

 

[Tugela]

not to wade in too deeply, but it takes two to tango. Just as a guy has to wrap his head around his "girl" being an sp, the "girl" has to wrap her head around her "guy" being a pooner. Or whatever descriptive word you want to insert.

The point is, both parties have a tape, or a conversation.. running through their heads. Even if the guy loves and respects the girl, she just might not be able to be that way with him... it's a two way street.

Not really, in that scenario the guy is likely to become monogamous when the relationship starts, so he wont be seeing other SPs. If he is then they probably wouldn't have started a relationship in the first place - what would be the point if both continued what they were doing? They would just be friends in that situation, not a couple. The SP on the other hand is probably going to continue doing her job. The change is small for the guy, but large for the SP, who would basically be expected to find a different job.

 

[cakecash]

Waste of time ,I have dated several korean sps and first off you get way better service as a client ,these girls are high maintainence in all directions and come with lots of needs .while they are smart and very providing in a sexual way .you too will be drained mentally and financially .dont underestimate them they are very smart girls but not in a canniving way they just believe you as a boyfriend must do all her running around .
they have a very high regard for money which is why they do it .9 out of 10 sps will tell you they dont have an emotional and sexual attraction with a client and say its just work .i dont believe it .Look at it you were a client and she is dating you. you think cause you special ?
these girls are human and want and dream like everyone out there .They can fall in love as well but have way more controle with those emotions .
remember the old saying a painter never paints his own home .
I now just pay for the service and say good bye way cheeper andi have good memories .good luck

 

[Dgodus]

Not really, in that scenario the guy is likely to become monogamous when the relationship starts, so he wont be seeing other SPs. If he is then they probably wouldn't have started a relationship in the first place - what would be the point if both continued what they were doing? They would just be friends in that situation, not a couple. The SP on the other hand is probably going to continue doing her job. The change is small for the guy, but large for the SP, who would basically be expected to find a different job.

Why? I don't understand this notion that sex is an activity which is different and so much more special than any other activity that it can't be done with different people at any one time. At the core sex is just fun and pleasurable. It can be deep, emotional, and meaningful but the people involved and the relationship they have make that - not the act itself. A relationship isn't sex, it's closeness, intimacy, being open, caring, respect, sharing the joys of life, etc.... A good relationship is so much more than sex. I did a relationship that was founded and sustained on good sex, you can't fuck all the time, and because of it I now know all those others things are bigger contributors to a healthy and happy couple.

 

[Dickson]

Ok I have been sitting back and watching but I think I will put in my two cents. As a guy who has been doing this for years and years. I can tell you that I have had many SPs over the years that have moved from SP to friend and none of them have worked out. The longest relationship I had with a SP was 8 years. 98% of the time you pay. One was a contribution to her child's education fund. Call it what you want we fool ourself thinking that she really has an interest in us and they want to date us. Yea they tell you they care. The last one said she was going to be my friend for ever. Then 7 month later I was like the worst guy in the world. She was an SP things were good. Then when we move to friends she does not want money but is pissed that we don't fund the new roof, or the new toilets or repairs on the car.

The two I got closest too over the years both left when thier old boy friend or EX showed up and wanted in. Don't ever think you are the knight in shining armour. They use us as much as we use them.

I don't know anything about asian SPs but I can tell you from personal experience that getting caught up with an SP is no better than getting caught up with a real GF. Never worked for me. So much so that I swore I would not do the GF thing anymore and just pretend with SPs.

Now guys I am as much a fool as the rest of you. I keep falling for "this could be the one" BS. Kinda like buying a lottery ticket. Maybe this is the big one. Just for the fun of it. Yea we can get hit by lighting but something tells me we have a better chance of being hit by lighting then having a relationship with an SP.

Now with that said I have a guy I know who has been with an SP we meet 20 years ago. They live together in Japan and they are still together but I guess some can get hit by lighting. Oh well if you look outside I am the guy standing out there with a umbrella in a lighting storm. So no I do not follow my own advice.

 

[87112]

I had one that went from SP to very very close and the asshat was 27 years old at the time and wanted to retire and volunteer. I guessed she didnt get the memo that Vancouver BC has high living costs and the only odds of retirement were the 649 or one of the single Canucks.

 

[Chef99]

The last one said she was going to be my friend for ever. Then 7 month later I was like the worst guy in the world....

Hmmm, sounds like a real relationship to me!

 

[Des]

So many great responses and things to think about! I guess what I want out of any relationship with this woman is a friends with benefits type thing. Fortunately, and I've made it clear to her, I don't have a lot of money or time for that matter. I'm younger than her, I'm a student, and will be for a few more years, I work in a restaurant, and I live on my own downtown with fairly high rent. All of this she's aware of. Despite being the nice guy, I'm no pushover, so if she starts becoming unreasonable I have no problem cutting ties completely!
Now the sex is great as SP- client goes so I'm hoping it will be maybe even better as a couple people after a night out with wine! We'll see!!

 

[newatit]

I have to agree with Dickson. Been the same route a few times, but never have expected more. This is a life in which we often find out that those we help out are only manipulators and users, but then aren't we all in some way. The fact that we visit SP's means we are paying some one that for whatever reason is one, and we can get what we want by paying for it. So they take it back.

My personal goal though, is that if I am helping an SP out of the business, on to a more acceptable way of living, then you have to accept the fact that at some point she is going to resent the relationship she once had with you. Why, because she knows you took advantage of her while helping her out, one good reason, she will also think of all the times you helped her out but got it back in services, and as her self worth grows towards a new goal, she will not want to look back at this trade.

Have been there, on the route again, but this time, I understand the situation, but this person of interest should not be in the trade, she is too smart, too valueable to society if trained right. And I care, even if she doesn't.

yea I know, I am being taken, right? well maybe? But time well tell, and if the goal is met, that is the end product wanted.

I will report back in a few months.

 

[Dickson]

I have to agree with Dickson. Been the same route a few times, but never have expected more. This is a life in which we often find out that those we help out are only manipulators and users, but then aren't we all in some way. The fact that we visit SP's means we are paying some one that for whatever reason is one, and we can get what we want by paying for it. So they take it back.

My personal goal though, is that if I am helping an SP out of the business, on to a more acceptable way of living, then you have to accept the fact that at some point she is going to resent the relationship she once had with you. Why, because she knows you took advantage of her while helping her out, one good reason, she will also think of all the times you helped her out but got it back in services, and as her self worth grows towards a new goal, she will not want to look back at this trade.

Have been there, on the route again, but this time, I understand the situation, but this person of interest should not be in the trade, she is too smart, too valueable to society if trained right. And I care, even if she doesn't.

yea I know, I am being taken, right? well maybe? But time well tell, and if the goal is met, that is the end product wanted.

I will report back in a few months.

Yea newatit but no matter how many times we get burned we seem to go back to try and help this person. You are right we are using them as much as they are using us. WE have all these noble thoughts and justify it to our self. But in the end everyone uses everyone. My most recent experience I went in with the same understanding as you. But you are right she resented all the things I did for her in the end.

Funny we always have this hope that this one will be different than all the others. Even to the point we say we will not even have sex with her just help her but then we really feel like they took us to the cleaners.

So in the end what to do? Just play the game - pay the money and enjoy the service. Don't get involved. Yea right! Keep me posted. I have had far too many failures to think it will work.

 

[Ms. Yoko Anna]

Hahahaha, that is actually my first thought whenever clients asks for further relationship.
You want to go for a dinner, watch movie, have sex with me, free.

I never confront it, and I do think they want more emotional side of relationship, but I cannot help thinking that.

I do not opposed to date an sp.
It is either letting her continue her job and don't give a shit about it, or suggest her to quit and you can fill the financial help. I wold say, letting her do her job. Ay girl who is in this business with business mind, saving up cash for some bigger goal is fun to be around, just because it is fun to be around with motivated people. If you two click well, you can contribute to her second life whatever it is, not financially per se, but marketing skill, life skill, basic comfort like teddy bear.
In exchange with letting her to do her job, you should be able to sleep around as well. Then, it is pretty healthy open relationship. I think, this is ideal model for sp-client relationship.

 

[Dgodus]

Why would you even bother trying to date a provider if you weren't ok with her doing her job. It's like a woman I know pressuring her husband to stop being a fireman as she's terrified he's gonna get hurt badly. You know what the situation is and your own values before you get involved - smarten up.

 

[InnocentBoy]

Well the difference would be women think the magic power of their vagina can change the man once they get ahold of him.

 

[newatit]

yes, lots of good observations and advice about the futility of trying to help some one out of this business. Or dating them for that matter with what purpose in mind? Even a few SP's i have met who tried on their own to do something else, got fed up with the effort to go to school, or to work in the real world which is unlike their present world. They ended up returning to this business and continuing with the lies and deceit in their private lives.

So when they say they have made the choice to move on, and want help, if you are involved in that you would really have to monitor the situation to see if it is serious. Like has she stopped seeing anyone, are her ads and web site still up, did she just change working names and descriptions to hide away her continuing activity? And do you really want to be bothered in such a witch hunt? Like do you really want to date some one who in reality has not conformed to the society model of a girl friend or wife, and likely may never, because it is not and will never be in their nature?

There comes a time when you think of being involved in this that you have to sit back, sober up and face the reality of what has been written above.

Then run fast the other way.

 

[Dickson]

Hmmm, sounds like a real relationship to me!

Chef99 even when I was paying her to see me. I do not consider that a real relationship.

 

[PlayfulAlex]

Hmmm, sounds like a real relationship to me!

Chef99 even when I was paying her to see me. I do not consider that a real relationship.

I think what the chef meant was that a lot of real relationships wind up having the same type of ending!

 

[87112]

Sure they will get sick of getting a real job and seeing 8 hours of work is crap take home money when one dude will be a whole days pay. But what about when they turn 30s and get some wrinkles who is going to save them and give them the money they are used to. Women age faster than men in looks and if you dont hook that big whale when you young too bad, you have to be one of us looking for sales at the mall. So take that!

 

[PlayfulAlex]

Sure they will get sick of getting a real job and seeing 8 hours of work is crap take home money when one dude will be a whole days pay. But what about when they turn 30s and get some wrinkles who is going to save them and give them the money they are used to. Women age faster than men in looks and if you dont hook that big whale when you young too bad, you have to be one of us looking for sales at the mall. So take that!

As someone previously mentioned, maybe a young lady could bank those big dollars from the early years, and have themselves pretty well set up, before age sets in. Then, when the wrinkles set in (which you say will happen in their 30's), they could take a job at the mall, and just relax into it and enjoy life.