J
jeffu
would be my answer if you asked me what was on my mind tonight. I saw her earlier this evening and had an absolutely amazing time! Gah. She is so mind numbingly yummy I am almost at a loss for words. Those eyes! That smile! Those legs! *sighs* Glancing around here I see that many of you already know how beautiful this girl is, so I suppose there's no real need for me to go into detail.
This "hobby" has always had sort of a paradoxical effect on me. On the one hand it's based on what is ultimately a business transaction between two (or perhaps more) people. Business transactions are supposed to be cold and impartial-- the very fact that there is money involved is meant to distance us emotionally from what is going on. She's the provider and i'm the "customer", or so to speak, and there is supposed to lie the limits of our relationship.
On the other hand, we are all still people, engaging in one of the most intimate of human interactions-- one which often summons forth feelings and experiences that are beyond our control and to which no price tag can be attached. Do you have any say in how you feel when you embrace someone? or look into their eyes? or go inside them with your hands locked together? Can you help it if you smile just thinking about their smile and are still intoxicated later on by their scent lingering on your clothes and body? No-- the magnetism and chemistry are either there or they are not. Such things cannot really be bought or sold-- they can only arise spontaneously from within. Because of this, as much as we try and keep ourselves emotionally distanced from what is going on, ultimately it is largely beyond our control and we often find ourselves getting a little swept off our feet, and, inevitably, a little frustrated later when "the knock" comes and we have to leave the little dreamland and return to the world alone, realizing that in a short while she's going to be busy making someone else's day.
This "hobby" has always had sort of a paradoxical effect on me. On the one hand it's based on what is ultimately a business transaction between two (or perhaps more) people. Business transactions are supposed to be cold and impartial-- the very fact that there is money involved is meant to distance us emotionally from what is going on. She's the provider and i'm the "customer", or so to speak, and there is supposed to lie the limits of our relationship.
On the other hand, we are all still people, engaging in one of the most intimate of human interactions-- one which often summons forth feelings and experiences that are beyond our control and to which no price tag can be attached. Do you have any say in how you feel when you embrace someone? or look into their eyes? or go inside them with your hands locked together? Can you help it if you smile just thinking about their smile and are still intoxicated later on by their scent lingering on your clothes and body? No-- the magnetism and chemistry are either there or they are not. Such things cannot really be bought or sold-- they can only arise spontaneously from within. Because of this, as much as we try and keep ourselves emotionally distanced from what is going on, ultimately it is largely beyond our control and we often find ourselves getting a little swept off our feet, and, inevitably, a little frustrated later when "the knock" comes and we have to leave the little dreamland and return to the world alone, realizing that in a short while she's going to be busy making someone else's day.
