conversations with my sp

[sevenofnine]

so my sp wanted to know,
why as a married man i can see an sp,
and its ok
but she being in a relationship with say me i would have trouble with it.

i guess it comes down to i have given everything i have to my family my wife, what ever she needs from me i would find a way to get it for her or provide it for her,
she doesn't my wife can't give me the same courtesy.

so from my point of view if im giving some one everything i can and its not enough.
i guess its time to say so long.

my wife i am told i should leave her i deserve more, not sure if its true or not but do you nuke a marriage and family of thirty years because your unhappy in one or two parts of a realtionship
do you perhaps some how damage or ruin your two kids, who you have watched grow up and nutured over the years. because they have lost faith in family you. or trust.
i dunno its a tough call for everyone.
just my thoughts my kids are important, my wife, is to, i can find what i need else where, so why mess up everything.
but like i said i have been married almost thirty years.
so it might be a different situation if
i was invloved with some one a long time, and we discussed it talked it out, and she wanted something out side our marriage, she told me she was unhappy, and wanted to try something different but still loved me. but just needed more.

but early on in a relationship if we werent' totally monogoumous with each other, i would have a problem, for sure as hell i would.

some one pronounced to my sp, there done with this, can't do this any more and it seemed to my sp they were hurt and suffering alot of guilt. because they were married, or kids and whatever. or perhaps something else
my sp wanted my thoughts. she wanted to understand i guess what a guy goes through. a happily married man with kids.

i guess for me the first step was the hardest. alot of guilt misconceptions about this hobby, am i going to burn in hell or is my wife and kids going to find out or whatever.
after that i guess i just sort of lost myself for awhile did alot of stupid shit made a fool of myself.
been there done that, fell in love, like other guys, some guys make some big announcement they have to quit because they love this girl.
or make this big announcement it can't get any better then what the time i had last night so im out of here while im still on a high.

and even bad times in this, mostly my own doing.

i have experianced all of that. but still going on.
i thought about this alot before i started, it made sense for me to do it.

it was right, for me,
and still is. all the problems
well the good out weighs the problems i have had.
and i have worked them out.

i honestly believe im a better person, more relaxed more happy for being in this hobby.
isn't that what it is all about happines peace of mind.

and the couple of sps that i have hung out with mostly one,
have been my friends as much as everything, or anything,

still are.

so i think about quitting just moving on.
but don't really know or can think of a good reason to,
i have a good thing going with an sp, its very comfortable and enjoyable.
don;t really know why i should quit.

 

[wesleydraycott]

IMO, do the things that make you smile. Life is short, fill it with moments of happiness, regardless of their origins. Moments that passed by and missed opportunities are my regrets, don't let them be something we have in common.

 

[Sirenah]

Why shouldn't you have your cake and eat it too?! Obviously your wife and kids are important to you but your needs are just as important. Keep safe and have fun, is what I always say

 

[myselftheother]

Try some sort of relationship therapy.....might help more than exposing your issues than her on Perb. Not trying to be an asshole, since I've already been one for ages, but just throwing out a suggestion. Have you considered therapy? It really might help.

 

[cloud_9]

I think if you have an ongoing relationship with an sp its the same as an affair. The only difference is that you are paying more. If you aren't happy with your wife, and neither is she, then move on. It's not worth it to cheat her and yourself!

i never thought of that angle..... good post

 

[Umbras]

isn't that what it is all about happines peace of mind.

This sir is the most important thing I read in your post.

Life is too fucking short, we all struggle to make everyone happy, but in the end it's your own happiness that is important. Staying in a relationship where it has transitioned from loving couple that are unable to keep thier hands off each other, too two people that go through the motions of a life together that has no desire or spontaneity is unhealthy for both parties, we are human we need interaction both mental and physical.

You both owe it to yourselves to live the rest of your lives happy. You both fell in love, had children together, shared some great years of your lives accumilating many loving memories there is no shame in moving on.

You both need to sit down and have the heart to heart and decide what your next step is, otherwise you risk the chance of losing what ever feelings you have for each other, as a result of built up resentment. the only way to resolve is by communicating with each other,either just the two of you, or have a therapist as a mediator who can help you both open up and work on the issues that are causing you both unhappiness. Beign in a relationship is a two way street and if you both are unable to be honest and open with each other, then I am sorry, but it is not a healthy environment for your marriage or your children.

I witnesed this first hand with not only my parents marriage but with 97% of my family on both sides, I would have prefered if they had thrown in the towel when they knew things were going south, but they pushed on for another ten years before it all came to a head. Now they unable to be in the same city, nevermind the same room together and all there is now is a resentment and bitterness that never went away.

You need to do what is best for yourselves at this point of your lives to continue living a healthy life both mental and physical, it's time to start living life just not going through the motions of daily living.

All in all it's your decision, but be honest with yourselves and choose the path that will allow you both to live a happy and content life, wether it is together or apart, you owe it to each other as much you owe it to yourselves.

P.S., I had a way better response to this, but evereything I was going to say got wiped completely from my mind once I scrolled down and saw Shelby's awesome ass displayed in her Sig.

 

[chilli]

i never thought of that angle..... good post

Life is seldom ever that simple.

Simple answer to a complex problem.

The fact is every woman knows what a man wants. EVERY single one of them.

And women know if we don't get it - we will go somewhere else to get it.

Why do women act so hurt and surprized when we do?

Women who do this are bitches and deserve to be cheated on.