Cautionary tale
- Thread starter JimDandy
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Hot Shot: Please let it go. You have made your point. I do not want this thread to be locked or even worse deleted because of this back and forth stuff between you and Clementine.
Thanks,
JD
Thanks,
JD
hmmm...insults and comprehension issues.
My point clarified for you is that if PERB IS A TOILET BOWL?
Why are you here?
Im done Jim.
My point clarified for you is that if PERB IS A TOILET BOWL?
Why are you here?
Im done Jim.
I can't even understand that first sentence. And men who don't want to listen to womens' opinions, especially those that they're planning on sharing such an intimate experience with, ARE scum. Go buy a sex robot, I feel like that would suit your needs better.
It seems to me you want to make booking a session as simple as possible. Bringing up perb and old posts that you wish you hadn't posted but now can't remember what they are is going to trigger some sense of caution in a lady. Can't see the value in bringing it up.
Exactly! I learned this lesson the hard way ;-( My point for making this post so others may benefit from my mistake.
JD
Speaking as somebody who was infamous for causing drama on the board in the past, I now feel it’s better to debate as calmly and diplomatically as possible. Otherwise it’s a waste, especially when interesting threads get nuked altogether.
I don’t want to lock it either but I will, we have an ignore function for a reason!
The one thing I’ll comment on , Jim. Is anything that can be interpreted as a “carrot on a stick” during the inquiry can rub some ladies the wrong way.
On the topic of booking with a board handle, it can be a good thing to help screening to see if the customer is a good match for the provider. But one thing I’d caution on is fallout after an honest critical review.
I had my phone blow up for 3weeks solid after publicly defending a buddy’s review in the past . All text apps and ladies personal numbers. The messages I received were beyond nasty.
On the topic of booking with a board handle, it can be a good thing to help screening to see if the customer is a good match for the provider. But one thing I’d caution on is fallout after an honest critical review.
I had my phone blow up for 3weeks solid after publicly defending a buddy’s review in the past . All text apps and ladies personal numbers. The messages I received were beyond nasty.
I’m logging off now... hopefully the thread will still be around and unlocked this evening!!
Personally, I've always had a huge respect for the ladies on Perb. Past and present. Respect and honesty goes a long way with people in the grande scheme of things. That is how I was brought up. In the past, when I was much more active in this industry, I posted reviews ( I had the mods deleted all of my reviews when the stupid bill C got introduced + white knight comments ) and some I didn't. The one's I didn't post was because of connection reason only. Not her fault, nor mine, so, why ruin her? We all DON'T score when we shoot, or pick winners in sports bets, so, it is what it is.
We males always make the 1st move, so at the end of the day, it's up to me ( us guys ) go forward if its right or not. If not, move on. There are many other ladies to visit. There's always a choice. Ladies are just trying to make a living and offer us guys " happiness " or, in my case.....fantasy full fillness
Hope what I wrote made sense lol. Be safe
We males always make the 1st move, so at the end of the day, it's up to me ( us guys ) go forward if its right or not. If not, move on. There are many other ladies to visit. There's always a choice. Ladies are just trying to make a living and offer us guys " happiness " or, in my case.....fantasy full fillness
Hope what I wrote made sense lol.
Be safeThat is the ironic part of this whole situation. I approached this lady in the first place because of her posts on Perb. I liked them. I responded here on Perb several times to her posts to indicate I found them humorous (when she meant them to be humorous), and always in a positive and respectful manner.Personally, I've always had a huge respect for the ladies on Perb. Past and present. Respect and honesty goes a long way with people in the grande scheme of things. That is how I was brought up. In the past, when I was much more active in this industry, I posted reviews ( I had the mods deleted all of my reviews when the stupid bill C got introduced + white knight comments ) and some I didn't. The one's I didn't post was because of connection reason only. Not her fault, nor mine, so, why ruin her? We all DON'T score when we shoot, or pick winners in sports bets, so, it is what it is.
We males always make the 1st move, so at the end of the day, it's up to me ( us guys ) go forward if its right or not. If not, move on. There are many other ladies to visit. There's always a choice. Ladies are just trying to make a living and offer us guys " happiness " or, in my case.....fantasy full fillness
Hope what I wrote made sense lol.
Oh well, live and learn.
JD
Good morning, everyone. How are we doing today. Hope you're all well-rested and adequately medicated this morning.
Yes, I held JimDandy out at an extra-special grandfathered rate. It's all part of my great conspiracy where I act like it's my body and my rules. JimDandy didn't want to play along. Shall we examine?
Mod Edit - screenshot of text removed.
First, he starts by calling me girl. I know the old guard has problems with calling women they don't know 'women' but I've respectfully asked that people not call me girl. For those who still have issue with this stance, may I refer you to the first thing I found when I googled 'calling women girls.' We've been over this, but for quick reference, if I called an adult man 'boy' while he was at work, I'd have difficulty (living with myself, and) obtaining his enthusiastic service. Good start.
He continues to grovel and beg for a grandfathered rate while recognizing that he shouldn't and that I can say no to that request. This is something I like calling 'forgiveness over permission.' He recognizes he's in the wrong, tells me that, and still proceeds with his actions. I have a recent tweet on this about how acknowledging you know better isn't the same as doing better.
I reply professionally to show him that I take this job seriously and, to avoid getting into rates, I inquire about his Perb handle because he says he's a regular follower. There are a small mountain of perberts here who know that I show them nothing but love, titties, and first choice on tour destinations. I'm also asking so I can see who he conducts himself in regards to reviews and such. Nothing wrong with that. He asks not to be judged on his posts. That's not really how screening works, but if he had a regular history of posting good reviews and engaging civilly, he may received his discount session. Fun fact: I do discount sessions for those in need or those in good standing. I'd rather have a fun time with someone who's lovely but can't afford the rates than a meh time with someone who has the extra dollars to throw at me and have their way. Crazy, right?
Mod Edit - screenshot removed
He mentions that there's a recent thread he's not proud of. As a citizen of the internet, I completely understand. I ask him to explore that because, since I have other things to do and sifting through all of his replies is a waste of my time, I'd like to explore what and why he had regrets about it. If he can show himself to be of good judgment, even if he occasionally lets the odd dumb thing slip, we might be good to go here.
Instead, he dodges. He wants to tell me in person. He doesn't understand that he's being screened, in the same way that him reading up everything on me on LL and Perb was his way of screening me. Bad charity case!
...and he offers a same day booking. A same day booking. I have other things to do. It's like when they tell you that being a lawyer is very rarely and very briefly being in court--I'm not usually having sex. I'm usually doing admin, mentoring new sex workers, cleaning an incall, doing writing projects, engaging in advocacy work, shuttling people around the city (as one of the few people I know with a car and the free time to go to the airport at 2pm on a Wednesday), and maybe having a small little bit of my own life. Perhaps you've seen some of my recent carpentry work!
I give him another opportunity to get it together, and another chance to talk about his regretful post. He doesn't take the hint. Womp womp.
Screenshot removed Mod Edit
This seems to be the text exchange with which he has some feelings.
He starts with "Elsi" instead of girl, so we've made progress. He makes a joke remarking about how he's aware I will skin him if he acts up, good news. He seeks an hour session. I offer him the $300h. Why? Because he'd said he'd save up and he didn't seem to learn from his past indiscretions and I'm still not comfortable seeing him after our last exchange. He tries to tell me my rate, a very bad idea, and I lay down the hammer. JimDandy seems shocked that I still have our last convo handy and I've noted what happened.
So he asks for a thirty minute rate. For which I quote him $350. Anyone who's read my twitter (hi, ndillinger!) knows that this isn't out of character for me. I'm not trying to make things happen for him anymore. I've already wasted enough time on a negotiating bargain-hunting non-client who can't answer basic questions. What should happen if I invite him over and a condom "disappears" because he doesn't think the rules apply to him? What if I don't want to give him my address?
He seems to offer me the chance to blame it on a bad day, smooth, and reiterates that Elsi Dawson fucks like a champ. And then decides to double down on "I can't afford it."
Friends, I have a thing about fighting over fifty bucks--I know, it's crazy, but hear me out--it's a waste of my time. Especially in this hobby, fifty bucks should be the least of your concern. If you can't afford the last fifty, or you need to rebudget, save up, and try again another time, do that. But I'm not interested in discussing it. Save up or ship out. I have other things to deal with.
I tell him him why I dislike him, what he could have done, and why he feels like a threat to my safety. And, in not so few words, to fuck off.
That was last week. And now he's starting up again because he's continued to lurk around the internet, watch me employing free speech and get a hate-boner at Elsi for being Elsi. This is a simple case of the difference between a slut and a bitch-- a slut fucks everyone, a bitch fucks everyone but you.
Yes, I held JimDandy out at an extra-special grandfathered rate. It's all part of my great conspiracy where I act like it's my body and my rules. JimDandy didn't want to play along. Shall we examine?
Mod Edit - screenshot of text removed.
First, he starts by calling me girl. I know the old guard has problems with calling women they don't know 'women' but I've respectfully asked that people not call me girl. For those who still have issue with this stance, may I refer you to the first thing I found when I googled 'calling women girls.' We've been over this, but for quick reference, if I called an adult man 'boy' while he was at work, I'd have difficulty (living with myself, and) obtaining his enthusiastic service. Good start.
He continues to grovel and beg for a grandfathered rate while recognizing that he shouldn't and that I can say no to that request. This is something I like calling 'forgiveness over permission.' He recognizes he's in the wrong, tells me that, and still proceeds with his actions. I have a recent tweet on this about how acknowledging you know better isn't the same as doing better.
I reply professionally to show him that I take this job seriously and, to avoid getting into rates, I inquire about his Perb handle because he says he's a regular follower. There are a small mountain of perberts here who know that I show them nothing but love, titties, and first choice on tour destinations. I'm also asking so I can see who he conducts himself in regards to reviews and such. Nothing wrong with that. He asks not to be judged on his posts. That's not really how screening works, but if he had a regular history of posting good reviews and engaging civilly, he may received his discount session. Fun fact: I do discount sessions for those in need or those in good standing. I'd rather have a fun time with someone who's lovely but can't afford the rates than a meh time with someone who has the extra dollars to throw at me and have their way. Crazy, right?
Mod Edit - screenshot removed
He mentions that there's a recent thread he's not proud of. As a citizen of the internet, I completely understand. I ask him to explore that because, since I have other things to do and sifting through all of his replies is a waste of my time, I'd like to explore what and why he had regrets about it. If he can show himself to be of good judgment, even if he occasionally lets the odd dumb thing slip, we might be good to go here.
Instead, he dodges. He wants to tell me in person. He doesn't understand that he's being screened, in the same way that him reading up everything on me on LL and Perb was his way of screening me. Bad charity case!
...and he offers a same day booking. A same day booking. I have other things to do. It's like when they tell you that being a lawyer is very rarely and very briefly being in court--I'm not usually having sex. I'm usually doing admin, mentoring new sex workers, cleaning an incall, doing writing projects, engaging in advocacy work, shuttling people around the city (as one of the few people I know with a car and the free time to go to the airport at 2pm on a Wednesday), and maybe having a small little bit of my own life. Perhaps you've seen some of my recent carpentry work!
I give him another opportunity to get it together, and another chance to talk about his regretful post. He doesn't take the hint. Womp womp.
Screenshot removed Mod Edit
This seems to be the text exchange with which he has some feelings.
He starts with "Elsi" instead of girl, so we've made progress. He makes a joke remarking about how he's aware I will skin him if he acts up, good news. He seeks an hour session. I offer him the $300h. Why? Because he'd said he'd save up and he didn't seem to learn from his past indiscretions and I'm still not comfortable seeing him after our last exchange. He tries to tell me my rate, a very bad idea, and I lay down the hammer. JimDandy seems shocked that I still have our last convo handy and I've noted what happened.
So he asks for a thirty minute rate. For which I quote him $350. Anyone who's read my twitter (hi, ndillinger!) knows that this isn't out of character for me. I'm not trying to make things happen for him anymore. I've already wasted enough time on a negotiating bargain-hunting non-client who can't answer basic questions. What should happen if I invite him over and a condom "disappears" because he doesn't think the rules apply to him? What if I don't want to give him my address?
He seems to offer me the chance to blame it on a bad day, smooth, and reiterates that Elsi Dawson fucks like a champ. And then decides to double down on "I can't afford it."
Friends, I have a thing about fighting over fifty bucks--I know, it's crazy, but hear me out--it's a waste of my time. Especially in this hobby, fifty bucks should be the least of your concern. If you can't afford the last fifty, or you need to rebudget, save up, and try again another time, do that. But I'm not interested in discussing it. Save up or ship out. I have other things to deal with.
I tell him him why I dislike him, what he could have done, and why he feels like a threat to my safety. And, in not so few words, to fuck off.
That was last week. And now he's starting up again because he's continued to lurk around the internet, watch me employing free speech and get a hate-boner at Elsi for being Elsi. This is a simple case of the difference between a slut and a bitch-- a slut fucks everyone, a bitch fucks everyone but you.
Hot Shot (I'd like to see some counter reviews before you can take such a title personally, but),
When you start paying advertising costs in sex work, especially post-FOSTA/SESTA, I'd love to be the shoulder you cry on.
Love, peace and big kisses to you, bud.
There is an underlying veiled disdain and contempt for perb and its members held by many ladies here despite their participation. The lady you wanted to see claims she is held captive by the partnership of perb and LL. Irony and hypocrisy live side by side.
The article you quote makes it quite clear as does the behaviour of another lady in red on this thread.
My only issue is with the last paragraph. I do not "lurk around the internet" as she put it. She makes it sound like I was stalking her, which is the furthest from the truth! I came across her column following Emele Devine's tweets which I regularly do. Everything else that Elsi has posted in her defence of my post, if I may call it that, is open to interpretation of the reader and I am totally ok with (though I must admit it is quite lengthy and I read some of it rather quickly).
JD
Did you catch the part where your opening gambit was to ask for a discount? I did. I caught that. I'm pretty hep.
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