Can someone please help me to feel better about this?

[patrol]

Please read on…..

Subject: Appointment.....this weekend....
Date: Thu, 29 May 2008 16:07:49 -0700
From: me
To: her

Hello
I'm sending you this message because I tried your website and PERB, but I really wanted to be sure I manage to get hold of you. I've had trouble with such sites in the past and I'm not sure I sent you the right phone number. Anyhooooo, I'll have some opportunities this weekend to break free from work and would love to see you. If you can please call me @ 604 ### #### I'd love to hear from you. I have this phone on from 06:30 in the morning and will have it on pretty steady for the weekend.

Looking forward to your call


Sent: Thu 5/29/2008 4:34 PM
From: her
To: me
Subject: RE: Appointment.....this weekend....

Hi, So sorry for the "elusive-ness" lol....not intended

You sound great and I certainly would like to see you this weekend! I have time this saturday if you are interested....just let me know when! I prefer the afternoon or evening however I can accomidate you depending on your schedule

So please let me know what time works for you and we can figure it out from there- I check my email lots so just let me know hun!

Cheers!


Subject: RE: Appointment.....this weekend....
Date: Thu, 29 May 2008 17:54:35 -0700
From: me
To: her

Great!!!! I was thinking around 8:00 ish and I was wondering about a 2-3 hour visit. I'll send you more on my interests when every one clears out of the office around 06:30....

THX

Sent: Thursday, May 29, 2008 6:09 PM
From: her
To: me
Subject: RE: Appointment..... this weekend....

Awesome! I will confirm with you the day of however I am completely into it...let me know if there is anything I can do or have to make your time more special with me

Cheers




For the first time I was stood up. I know that it happens often enough and sometimes things just don’t work out. But After setting this up I was pretty sure that it was go until 8:00ish turned into 8:15ish and no phone call and no email.…. Now to be honest I did send a message outlining my interests and a couple more looking to confirm her thoughts, and to attempt to lock this in. But, she said “Awesome! I will confirm with you the day of however I am completely into it” so why would I question it, particularly because this is a well-established and well thought of lady. But as my 12-hour workday slowly ground by my excitement of the evening to come was steadily eroded by a conspicuous absents of communication.

Now I’ve deliberately kept her name and what I believe her trade mark comments out of this post in an honest hope that I will get a second chance at a visit. Additionally I’m hoping to at least get an explanation, and maybe an apology. Who knows maybe something happened? (Other than being stood up.) Id sure like to think so…..


THX for hearing my rant.
Patrol

B.T.W. If you can hear my little violin playing in the background, this was intended to be my birthday present to my self

 

[sonoman]

Well, in CLM's world, unless it was a 'confirmed' appointment she doesn't owe you anything... That aside, shit happens. Give it a day or two, then (politely) email her letting her know that you're still interested, and that will hopefully elicit some response in return. Unless you really no longer want to see her, don't do anything to sever communications; leave the ball in her court for a while. See what happens this week and take it from there.

 

[patrol]

THX for your thoughts.

I didn't wait a day, after I got home and started to recover form some one canceling Christmas (or at leas that's what it felt like.) I sent a simple one liner the subject box had " Boy am I bummed out...... " and my message was "what happened to 8:00ish tonight? I hope your ok". I hope that works...

 

[dipitydoo]

patrol,

happy belated Bday!

shit happens, too bad it got in the way of you enjoying a good time for your Birthday, but worse things have happened.

I hope you can either find an SP that can make it work for you, or that the girl in question has the ability to make up for being a flake.

 

[GoodKat]

I think pooners need to decline booking if the sp tells them to confirm right before the session. It's just a loophole so they can bail if they get a better offer.

 

[patrol]

Nina

You re quite right. She did not confirm, and I'm not prepared to lay blame or make an accusation as I only know my side of what happened. But you have spotted the issue in so much as a communication one way or the other would have been be greatly appreciated.

 

[bigguy]

Yo Patrol

This is ONLY a hobby!! Read the Pooning Manual: A missed "date" does NOT equate to Xmas being cancelled. If this incident is so serious to you, you would be well advised to institute AN ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT if you intend to hobby on. These bumps are very common. So accept it without the "bewilderment" process or delete said SP from your list. For what it's worth . . .

bigguy

 

[Willingham]

She was at the BMW dealer picking up her new car and she forgot that you existed...You see, she does not need any more business.

 

[Mona_Ramone]

I think pooners need to decline booking if the sp tells them to confirm right before the session. It's just a loophole so they can bail if they get a better offer.

In my experience (which has admittedly only been with an agency, so maybe things are different) the confirmation call right before the appointment is to ensure that the gentleman is serious about the appointment and will actually show up!

I don't mean to detract from the suckiness of our friend's experience, but only wanted to offer another point of view on the ol' confirmation call.

 

[Small pleasures]

1 hour before

I think pooners need to decline booking if the sp tells them to confirm right before the session. It's just a loophole so they can bail if they get a better offer.

Can't speak for everyone but my requirement for a confirm call 1 hour prior has reduced my no-show ratio to almost 0. I don't think I've ever cancelled on a client who has called 1 hour before.

 

[Miss*Bijou]

Although I usually have the situation reversed (I ask them to confirm) I have learned to state an actual time for the call and one that is well ahead of the booking time.

That way no one is disappointed and there's still time to plan something else if need be. I have only learned that through experience.

That's exactly what I do as well.. Any request for an appointment 'day of' or next day, I'll have them confirm 1-5hrs before appointment (I give a deadline time to have called by).. Any appointment booked 2 days from now and beyond, I almost always ask for the confirmation call 1 day prior. Someone who is genuinely interested and serious about getting together is planning it in their schedule and won't forget to call you the day before. As mentioned by Anna, if they do forget, you have a whole day to make other plans... Sorry, I'm personally not interested in finding out about it an hour before the actual appointment! With the exception of my latest visit to Winnipeg, I've never encountered many no-shows at all (as in; I could probably count on 2 hands..) and only very occasionally get the odd one... usually for bookings with very little notice, not for bookings with a few days or more notice.

I have to say that if I do reply and agree to an actual time, it's on my schedule and I consider it 'confirmed'... the actual 'confirmation' call for me, is more of an insurance for both myself and the client, that nothing's come up, no one's forgotten and we're still meeting. But in reality, I assume it's confirmed for both parties, unless something does come up in which case, I still expect a call or an email to let me know something's come up and appointment's off.


I've got to say I don't like the whole 'it wasn't confirmed' .. if one of the parties doesn't consider it confirmed until the day of, and only if the confirmation call is made/received.... then that's not an appointment, that's a tentative plan! And in this case, it should be clear to both that no appointment has been set, only tentative plans that may or may not result in an actual appointment. And if all requests are handled this way, an sp should simply say that although they will take those into consideration, they do not accept advanced requests nor do they guarantee such requests will result in bookings.. They should simply not accept advance bookings.. Period.
Because when I set a day/time with someone.. to me, even if it's one month down the line or 1 week - it's assumed that the appointment will take place... unless something major happens and one person needs to cancel. Simply not confirming when the time comes, to me, is equivalent to no-showing and that's why I want to know more than an hour before the set time.



Patrol ~
I'm sorry your plans feel through and you never got a reason why.. I hope you do get an apology and an explanation as I don't think the way it was handled was very considerate..

 

[FortunateOne]

I think someone else once mentioned to always have a back up plan, most likely with an sp who is usually available on short notice like 1-2 hours ahead? You can always check out sp2's availability and policy ahead of time, let her know what day and time so she's aware of your interest. If you hadn't actually spoken to sp1 the day of or 1-2 hours beforehand, or you had no way to reach her with a phone call, you might have been able to arrange an alternative for yourself. If she chose not to confirm, even though she had said she would, then that's bad biz and she should not be surprised to receive a msg from you indicating that if you don't hear from her by xx:00, you'll assume the date is off and you won't be there.

An organized & savvy sp, like the ladies posting here, will always confirm your appt with you, whether she asks you to call her or she has indicated that she will call you. It's just common sense, and prevents everyone from wasting time, IMO.

 

[therealrex]

In my experience (which has admittedly only been with an agency, so maybe things are different) the confirmation call right before the appointment is to ensure that the gentleman is serious about the appointment and will actually show up!

I don't mean to detract from the suckiness of our friend's experience, but only wanted to offer another point of view on the ol' confirmation call.

Agreed that is the purpose of the confirmation call however some sps definitely use it as Goodkat described its a way of making a tentative appointment and if something better comes along they just don't answer the phone.

In my opinion if you tell a guy to call at a specific time to confirm and you don't take the call then its no different than not showing up for a "confirmed" appointment. As bigguy said being treated poorly is part of the hobby get used to it it will happen again.

 

[FortunateOne]

Agreed that is the purpose of the confirmation call however some sps definitely use it as Goodkat described its a way of making a tentative appointment and if something better comes along they just don't answer the phone.

In my opinion if you tell a guy to call at a specific time to confirm and you don't take the call then its no different than not showing up for a "confirmed" appointment. As bigguy said being treated poorly is part of the hobby get used to it it will happen again.

Still disagree. If she asks for the call it probably means she assumes the guy will be a no-show, late or too early, all of which will have to be juggled on her schedule. If GK makes a 3:00 appt, and bg makes a 4:0 appt, but GK is 20 minutes late & changes his 1/2 hr appt to an hour. Asked to confirm 1/2 hr ahead, bg is just going to get no answer. By 4:00, he's going to assume she's a no-show, when all along she simply cannot answer the phone. By the time she can, bg has made other plans. Sps don't take "something better", but they might believe they have time before the scheduled appt with a new guy try to squeeze in a sure thing (reliable regular) over the chance that newguy doesn't show up on time or at all (first visit).

 

[GoodKat]

Still disagree. If she asks for the call it probably means she assumes the guy will be a no-show, late or too early, all of which will have to be juggled on her schedule. If GK makes a 3:00 appt, and bg makes a 4:0 appt, but GK is 20 minutes late & changes his 1/2 hr appt to an hour. Asked to confirm 1/2 hr ahead, bg is just going to get no answer. By 4:00, he's going to assume she's a no-show, when all along she simply cannot answer the phone. By the time she can, bg has made other plans.

I assume most ladies on the board don't book appointments so close together.

Sps don't take "something better"

 

[aznboi9]

I've got to say I don't like the whole 'it wasn't confirmed' .. if one of the parties doesn't consider it confirmed until the day of, and only if the confirmation call is made/received.... then that's not an appointment, that's a tentative plan! And in this case, it should be clear to both that no appointment has been set, only tentative plans that may or may not result in an actual appointment. And if all requests are handled this way, an sp should simply say that although they will take those into consideration, they do not accept advanced requests nor do they guarantee such requests will result in bookings.. They should simply not accept advance bookings.. Period.
Because when I set a day/time with someone.. to me, even if it's one month down the line or 1 week - it's assumed that the appointment will take place... unless something major happens and one person needs to cancel. Simply not confirming when the time comes, to me, is equivalent to no-showing and that's why I want to know more than an hour before the set time.

 

[littlejimbigher]

Even with my regulars who I book 1-3 days in advance things come up and the date doesn't happen. Last time she misunderstod the time and tho I'm trying to call and re-confirm an hour before( spent1/2 hour trying) when I talked to her the next day she thought it was an hour later than I had booked.

 

[HeMadeMeDoIt]

Get a fucking life! You make it sound like the love of your life stood you up at the altar.

You got stood up by a HO, its part and parcel of this hobby. Find another one to 3 hole and get over it you whiny crybaby.

 

[FortunateOne]

When I said sps don't just go ahead and take "something better", I thought it was obvious that they didn't assume a new last minute appt would be "better" than an already booked already confirmed appt. I say last minute, because otherwise the new appt couldn't possibly interfere with a booked and confirmed appt, meaning you are already on your way to see her.

How would they know it was going to be better? Unless they already knew who the first one is and didn't want to see them anyway I guess the guys who suffer a lot of no-show sps on repeat appts may have to re-think their booking strategies. Or something

 

[Very Veronica]

bitter much?

You got stood up by a HO, its part and parcel of this hobby. Find another one to 3 hole and get over it you whiny crybaby.

Whiny crybaby indeed.