Exactly right. Those who put down SP's for being SP's should beluckydog71 said:
ashamed of themselves. They are not well.
Can ones past stay in the past?
- Thread starter naughtygirl
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ashamed of themselves. They are not well.
luckydog71 said:
He has a problem seperate to the issue of whether or not she used to be a hooker. That is his problem with how he choses to fight with her. That is the big problem.
The smaller problem is he has issues with her past.
Now what happens when she meets some one new and they really dig each other, and they hook up and it the greatest thing ever for the guy andhe falls in love. Then she sits him down and tells him about her past. 9 out of 10 will probably act as though it isn't a big deal. 1 MIght bolt, but most will not want to admit that they aren't man enough to get past it. So 1 year later something comes up and they are "so in love anymore" they have a fight, and he admits to the fact that he never can get over the facts about her past. What happened, he cared about her, and he really beleived that he could get past it. Most people don't even know what getting past something is.
If you have to avoid talking about it to avoid getting up set, then you aren't past anything, you are ignoring the issue.
You don't think that is how lots of less than successful relationships function.
I do have a question? If you are so far detatched from your old life, why are you still reading perb?
My parents don't know. They don't know my sexual life. Some of my friends know. Interesting choice of words that you have calling the females "hookers". What??? Do you have a problem with the SPs that you have to call them "hookers"????ace85 said:
By the way, YES. She knows it. We have an open relationship.
While on the subject of honesty, are you honest and truthful to your significant other??? or Is it you don't have one???
If he wasn't okay about your past, he didn't deserve to have a relationship period and he didn't love you. If he did love you, he should not have dwell on it.Meiko said:
True.
Not necessarily true. By following your heart, it also led you to your ex-boyfriend's situation.
true.
Now, wouldn't you want honesty and trust in any relationship that you get in the future?
Maybe honesty is not everything to you, but that's your opinion and you're entitled to it.
His name-calling is beyond what most reasonable people would bring to an argument and would seem to be a precursor to increased abuse. I know love is blind, but didn't any of this behaviour show itself earlier and before two children were conceived?
Hi MB.....I have been travelling. I have poked my nose in once in a while.Maury Beniowski said:
But too busy to spend more than a few minutes.
Love is blind, and sometimes stupid. I got pregnant early in the relationship, just so happened it was a 2 for 1 deal. Best deal I ever foundCock Throppled said:
Somewhat agreeing with ace85
Naughtygirl, you certainly don't have to answer this if you don't want to, but what is the root cause of your arguments with him?
The reason I ask is that without a context to your original question about someone's past staying in the past, you're going to get knee-jerk responses. It's like asking someone, "Should a person steal?," or "Should people be honest with each other?", or "Should lovers always be faithful to each other?". The accepted answers to these questions are obviously no, yes, and yes. But I think it's safe to say that the majority of people in this world will steal under some circumstances, will lie under certain circumstances, and will not be faithful under certain circumstances.
Relationships are complicated creatures, and there is usually a context to everything, unless he just woke up one morning and decided to call you nasty names. If you just want a shoulder for support from the members of PERB I completely understand; sometimes that's all a person wants and needs. But if you truly want an answer to your question, I think you also need to think about the two of you and your relationship as a whole.
Naughtygirl, you certainly don't have to answer this if you don't want to, but what is the root cause of your arguments with him?
The reason I ask is that without a context to your original question about someone's past staying in the past, you're going to get knee-jerk responses. It's like asking someone, "Should a person steal?," or "Should people be honest with each other?", or "Should lovers always be faithful to each other?". The accepted answers to these questions are obviously no, yes, and yes. But I think it's safe to say that the majority of people in this world will steal under some circumstances, will lie under certain circumstances, and will not be faithful under certain circumstances.
Relationships are complicated creatures, and there is usually a context to everything, unless he just woke up one morning and decided to call you nasty names. If you just want a shoulder for support from the members of PERB I completely understand; sometimes that's all a person wants and needs. But if you truly want an answer to your question, I think you also need to think about the two of you and your relationship as a whole.
Threepeat, I think the cause of the arguments is not relevant. Whether the cause is something simple, or something serious, he has no business being abusive.threepeat said:
Of course he never woke up uttering obscenities, but is there any reasonable arguement or fight that should get to that level. Not saying I'm a perfect angel or don't participate in the arguements. Arguements start over small things, example...He doesn't like what I'm wearing or thinks I'm looking at other guys, his anger raises names get shouted out..I defend myself and ends with comments like once a whore always a whore, being spat in my face while calling me a stupid slut. I have done everything in my power to prove to him that I can be trusted, faithful and loyal. This peice of my past as an SP is of course just the tip of the iceberg to the story. Guess I am looking for some perspective from some of the guys and gals that deal with the sex trade on a daily basis. The support I've gotten has been overwhelming and suprising.
"Of course he never woke up uttering obscenities, but is there any reasonable arguement or fight that should get to that level"
One might ask the question, "Is this something that happened just once and he is truely remorseful and has never repeated it EVER again, or is it something that happens frequently?" If it is more than the once, without an sincere apology, then you should move on and save yourself and your kids from a life of abuse and misery.
One might ask the question, "Is this something that happened just once and he is truely remorseful and has never repeated it EVER again, or is it something that happens frequently?" If it is more than the once, without an sincere apology, then you should move on and save yourself and your kids from a life of abuse and misery.
Meg
Regarding your previous post about being on the board, I am going to be repetitive here but that too is not relevant. To me, it doesn't matter if you are on the board, a previous SP, even if you were STILL in the business, the bottom line in my opinion is that he was abusive to you and my guess is that it had nothing to do with the business but more to do (as you already alluded to) his upbringing, ie. what he was watching as he 'grew' up. He probably learned that this is how a 'man' deals with his woman. You would have seen that attitude manifest sooner or later. The 'business' just provided an easy 'vent' for him and so you saw it sooner.
Again, I am so sorry this happened to you.
Regarding your previous post about being on the board, I am going to be repetitive here but that too is not relevant. To me, it doesn't matter if you are on the board, a previous SP, even if you were STILL in the business, the bottom line in my opinion is that he was abusive to you and my guess is that it had nothing to do with the business but more to do (as you already alluded to) his upbringing, ie. what he was watching as he 'grew' up. He probably learned that this is how a 'man' deals with his woman. You would have seen that attitude manifest sooner or later. The 'business' just provided an easy 'vent' for him and so you saw it sooner.
Again, I am so sorry this happened to you.
Can you bring this fellow on here, so we can get his version of the events?
There's always two sides to every story, especially in a relationship.
Relationships are a two-way street.
A relationship's success or failure is always a team effort...
So far, I only see one point of view.
As nice as you sound, it is just half the story.
There's always two sides to every story, especially in a relationship.
Relationships are a two-way street.
A relationship's success or failure is always a team effort...
So far, I only see one point of view.
As nice as you sound, it is just half the story.
What reason's could he possibly offer to justify calling his "loved" one a whore and spit in her face? What could he possibly say that would make any of us think, "oh, in that case it was OK for him to spit in her face."Maury Beniowski said:There's always two sides to every story, especially in a relationship.
Relationships are a two-way street.
A relationship's success or failure is always a team effort...
So far, I only see one point of view.
As nice as you sound, it is just half the story.
For the record, I just want to clarify that I'm not saying the guy's right in acting the way he does.BS Detector said:
My point is simply that in a perfect relationship, both sides accept the other for what they are. But what if "what each one of them is" is not compatible with each other? What if one is bad with money and the other is good with money? What is one wants an open relationship and one wants monogamy? What if one wants to dress a certain way and the other doesn't want that?
I guess at the end of the day there has to be a common ground. But if you don't see that common ground and it's a deal breaker, then yeah, it's time to cut your losses and move on. That part I do agree with.
