Bringing that hot chick from overseas

[tantalizeme]

On my first of several visits to China I lucked out with an SP who had just started this line of work and rates a clear 10 on my scale for L, A, S.

I was blown away by the way we clicked, in that sleazy hovel of hers on a side street in Beijing. I gave her my e-mail address, and sure enough she initiated a correspondence. Our messages back and forth every few months are kept short and superficial, due to her poor English and my poor Chinese.

I'm fondly looking at her photos as I'm writing this....ah, such heartache-causing beauty and what a sweet personality! I've seen her repeatedly on subsequent visits to China, including overnight.

It's a fantasy of mine, and probably hers too—though we never seriously discussed this—to have her come to Canada to live with me. This would require getting married first. But then I think of the ramifications.

How long would her gratitude toward me last for rescuing her from the indignities of poverty in China? Sex is a big deal for me, but how could it be for her, after working as an SP? And sexual excitement between two people tends to have a short shelf life at the best of times.

Her stunning beauty would attract lots of male attention—how long before constantly getting hit on by Canadian guys would make her recognize her awesome sexual power here and look at new relationship options with a younger or richer man? And, given her relative lack of education, the intellectual confinement of her company would soon become oppressive.

And she'd be an economic deadweight around my neck. I'd probably have to assume the cost of supporting her for quite a while—unless she went to work as an SP here, with all the issues this would raise. And how long would it take before she could legally claim half of what I own? And on top of everything, I'd presumably have to kiss my pooning hobby goodbye.

Forget the idea of bringing her over, I tell myself.

And yet...there are men, apparently lots, who get mail order brides from the Philippines or China or Russia or many other impoverished countries—women with whom they don't have the magical connection I have with this lady. If the choice is between living out one's life in deafening loneliness, or bunkering down with your typical unattractive Western she-dragon, or taking a chance on a lovely overseas hottie, in a certain mood the risks actually seem worthwhile.

 

[LittleAsianGuy]

I spent two weeks in HK and a few days in china. Banged lots of sp during that time. I've had some of hottest gals which are better than any sp experience i had in north america. At no time did i ever think of marrying or bringing a sp over here. I have thought about marrying a 17 and 20 yr old young hottie from a small village who isnt a sp. After getting into the country not sure how loyal some of these sp would be. They might just return to their original line of work at the local mp. I've had friends who married a mail order bride and these chicks admit they are very dissapointed in the lifestyle of living here. They cant seem to find work and often are depressed.

 

[DQ Guy]

On my first of several visits to China I lucked out with an SP who had just started this line of work and rates a clear 10 on my scale for L, A, S.
.

Umm Shes an SP In China bud..
to bring her over here, just for you is a very bad Idea.
you can bet that it wont work out and shes most likely useing you
to get out of there

be very very careful where you go with this one

 

[LittleAsianGuy]

Better idea just to vacation now and then to these countries and bang them with no commitments. Good chance it'll be a nightmare once u marry them.

 

[87112]

A lady in a amp told me if you married someone from China, all it takes it one year and if you divorce half of what you own is now hers.

No offense, I've seen 2 of your reviews that you have rated as 8-10 for looks and I'm not feeling either of them at all. Like they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

 

[timhorton]

Do it. What could possibly go wrong?

 

[summerbreeze]

some food for thought.....

In asia, the women all expect the men to buy everything. There is no concept of going "Dutch", its the man's responsibility to provide.

If you have a "country girl" type who was brought up not to be afraid of hard work you might actually have a chance of mutual respect. The city girls on the other hand tend to only think of what they can get. There are of course different degrees to this but not a bad concept to keep in mind.

China is raising a nation of single child families. An only child tends to be self centered and is pampered by a mother and father, and 4 grandparents. In china they call this "little emperor or little empress" syndrom.

One time in a social gathering my friends and I were surmising why the current divorce rate was now 50% vs an older generation like our parents which was far less. A very astute remark came out the the divorce rate was high now because women had the option now. Before large alimony settlements, equal (or semi equal) job opportunities, decreased social stigma. It was far more difficult for a women to leave her husband.

If you take into account the cross culture difficulties a couple faces and the relative ease of separation and divorce these days. I would offer the opinion that these types of relationships would be quite challenged.

Just thought I would offer up some thoughts in the hope of saving anyone the anquish of a failed relationship.

 

[moi]

I believe if you go to the Phillippines, any SP there would "click" with you well in hopes of flying to Canada. You will get numerous proposals there.

Not only is she in the business to make her village life better, you are her ticket out of there.

My friend's dad got a mail order bride after his wife died and she is half his age, a complete bitch, and does NOTHING for his kids. She doesn't care about him, gives him sex occasionally, dutifully cares for him while he's sick but that's about it. She is waiting for him to die so she can take his money and go be an independent woman.

 

[MrPeterNorth]

It never ceases to amaze me how the human mind works. We almost always go out of our way to make the simple things more difficult. I guess it's that old adage - "we want what we can't have".

For someone who appears so apt, charming, and sincere I find it hard to understand why you'd go through all this trouble to find a 'mate', when the potential success rate is probably less than 10%. Not very rational in my opinion.

You've got to ask yourself this one simple question - what's in it for you?

 

[Pantherdash]

How long would her gratitude toward me last for rescuing her from the indignities of poverty in China? Sex is a big deal for me, but how could it be for her, after working as an SP? And sexual excitement between two people tends to have a short shelf life at the best of times.

Be careful with the White Knight Syndrome. Maybe you've seen "Pretty Woman" once too often. That crap only exists in the movies. Do you really honestly believe that you're "rescuing" her?

some food for thought.....

In asia, the women all expect the men to buy everything. There is no concept of going "Dutch", its the man's responsibility to provide.

If you have a "country girl" type who was brought up not to be afraid of hard work you might actually have a chance of mutual respect. The city girls on the other hand tend to only think of what they can get. There are of course different degrees to this but not a bad concept to keep in mind.

China is raising a nation of single child families. An only child tends to be self centered and is pampered by a mother and father, and 4 grandparents. In china they call this "little emperor or little empress" syndrom.

One time in a social gathering my friends and I were surmising why the current divorce rate was now 50% vs an older generation like our parents which was far less. A very astute remark came out the the divorce rate was high now because women had the option now. Before large alimony settlements, equal (or semi equal) job opportunities, decreased social stigma. It was far more difficult for a women to leave her husband.

If you take into account the cross culture difficulties a couple faces and the relative ease of separation and divorce these days. I would offer the opinion that these types of relationships would be quite challenged.

Just thought I would offer up some thoughts in the hope of saving anyone the anquish of a failed relationship.

That is a very perceptive and insightful post. Maybe listen to this guy Tant.

Panther

 

[timhorton]

When I was in Asia, every time I said to a female "I'm from Canada" the response was "I'm single".

 

[mclovin76]

It never ceases to amaze me how the human mind works. We almost always go out of our way to make the simple things more difficult. I guess it's that old adage - "we want what we can't have".

For someone who appears so apt, charming, and sincere I find it hard to understand why you'd go through all this trouble to find a 'mate', when the potential success rate is probably less than 10%. Not very rational in my opinion.

You've got to ask yourself this one simple question - what's in it for you?

i had a dream last night that i traded in my denali for a ferrari, but then realized that i couldnt have my 3 dogs int he ferrari and regreted the deal, then i woke up.

 

[InTheBum]

When I was in Asia, every time I said to a female "I'm from Canada" the response was "I'm single".

Your response should of been..."I am poor, but single!"

 

[HB40]

And on top of everything, I'd presumably have to kiss my pooning hobby goodbye.

Forget the idea of bringing her over, I tell myself.

That sounds like a good idea. A man needs a hobby.

 

[jimbo2006]

If you're so smitten by this woman but fear the worst if you were to bring her over, have you thought about spending some time over in her neck of the woods?

 

[87112]

I'm not sure if anyone feels the way I do but the cities of Shanghai, Beijing, Shenzhen, Guangzhou, Wuhan, and many hugh China cities are a lot more exciting and lively than Vancouver. True we have it cleaner and more comfortable but for the young and outgoing the bright lights and lively atmosphere make it hard to leave.

 

[FunSugarDaddy]

All and all, the idea of wanting to import an SP for the purpose of marriage is just plain strange. I could understand how one could, in the heat of the moment, think about it, but somewhere along the way reality has to set in.

 

[neon]

I heard too many stories from my friends about how they married young girl from china and bring them to Canada, less than 6 months get divored & lose half of their money.I guess it alway have a hope that their girl will different than other, or she really love them, that why I have couple friends fall for that even they all well know those story!

 

[FunSugarDaddy]

I'm one of the few that actually did something along these lines. I married a woman I met in the Czech Republic. So I'm aware of some of the immigration issues and her leaving her family etc.

I'm not saying do it or don't do it, but there damn well better be for a reason than she's the hottie you could never get here, as that's hardly a foundation for a relationship, much less one that's transcends countries.

Personally if I were to do something like that, and I did, I'd be more interested with what we had in common and whether or not she'd be a good mother, and things of that nature. Wouldn't discount the sexual aspect of things by any means but it has to be part of a much broader picture.

 

[tantalizeme]

That hottie from overseas...

Appreciate the lively debate. A few quick points:

1. Mr Peter North & HubbaHubba suggest that marrying an overseas hottie—especially if she worked as an SP—is an idea only a loser would consider. Why not google “Chinese dating” (666 000 hits) and look at some of the testimonials with photos? e.g. http://www.chineselovelinks.com/Success.cfm.

I ask myself: of the guys in those pictures—who're probably quite representative of the average male—how many would have ended up with a homegrown wife that could hold a candle to those Asian ladies, in terms of prettiness and probably personality as well? I suspect many Asian "mail-order" brides enter marriage with considerable good-will. In any case, for many of these guys a few exciting years with an Asian wife might be more than many of us ever get with some insufferable, washed-up Western shrew.

BTW, there’re several 100 000 SPs reported to be in Beijing alone—so it wouldn’t surprise me if quite a few of the attractive ladies you find on Asian dating sites have worked a stint as an SP (which, to my mind, wouldn’t disqualify them as potential mates.)

2. Special thanks to dood & summerbreeze; awesome insights. My own experience confirms dood’s comment that “Banging a hot Asian that’s your GF is as good as it comes…they can be dirrty little girls”—willing to play along with just about anything physically doable, without making a big deal out of it.

Pantherdash implies it’s arrogant to think that bringing an Asian woman here is “rescuing” her. Well—why are so many of them keen to hook up with Western men, if not to escape grinding poverty? I contemplate the millions of heart-stopping beauties trapped in Asian slums the way NASA probably contemplates gold deposits on the moon: there’s got to be a way to tap those riches.

3. Myself, I’m far too sexually restless to consider dropping anchor with any one woman. So bringing my favorite Chinese SP over to Canada anytime soon would feel like an act of outrageous stupidity. But I’m sentimental enough to answer her sporadic e-mails, and I look forward to seeing her on future trips to China, until…well, one day she’ll no doubt vanish from my radar screen without a trace.

It makes me a little sad to think that here we are, a woman and a man rotting away alone at opposite ends of the world, when with a bit more trust, optimism and generosity we could make each other at least temporarily happy. But I don’t have it in my heart. I’m with Little Asian Guy: too selfish and commitment-averse. For guys like us, by far the best solution is to help out poor countries with our vacation dollars every so often and sample sexual offerings along with cultural and culinary delights.