Hey guys, it truly is warming to know I am still relevant! All publicity is good publicity, right? First, let me quickly vindicate my substandard tattoos. You see, I was born with this face and this enviable personality. If I didn't have any flaws the whole balance of nature would be thrown off completely. So, I took it upon myself and got some second rate art work to maintain balance. You're welcome.
Lastly, some of my ink is from people practicing (including myself) so there's another philanthropic reason for these shoddy old things. Plus, once I am completely covered in metaphoric shit, you won't hear me complain about not having any real estate left because I'll be able to do a whole second go with more desirable artists for cover ups. Think of all the bacon I'll be putting on these families tables!
So really... The tattoos make me less pond scum and more comparable to... Let's say... Oprah! Just another day in the life. Remember to reduce, reuse, recycle! And again, thanks for bringing my thread back up! Keep my name in your mouths, haters. Either way you're all fans!
(feeling a little sarcastic this morning)