Best of Perb
- Thread starter tehp8rkpv
- Start date
https://perb.cc/vbulletin/showthread.php?242043-LOL-True-story!&p=1815981&viewfull=1#post1815981
LOL - True story!
I was having breakfast with a buddy today.
Ask him how the family is doing.*
He goes on to tell me this funny story.
Last week his 17 year old son comes to him in the morning complaining of having a sore wrist (hurt it at football practice).
Dad tells him to go take an Aleve. Tells the kid to go to the medicine cabinet in Mom and Dad's bathroom and the bottle is there. Mentions they are the blue pills.
Kid goes off and supposedly does as Dad says.
An hour of so later Dad gets a call from the son.
The kid is sitting in a stall in the boys bathroom at school with a raging boner!*
Long story short, it appears the kid took one of Dad's*Viagra, not an Aleve.
Dad trying very hard not to laugh, quietly asks the kid if he has tried masturbating to see if the boner goes away. The kid replies he has, twice, but his cock is still hard as the Hope Diamond (my words no his). LOL!
I guess the kid is freaking out because it is starting to be painful.
The Dad ends up calling the Vice Prinicpal (the Principal is a woman), explaining the situation and the VP goes to find the kid.
By the time Dad gets to the school I guess the effects were starting to go away but Dad takes the kid home for the rest of the day.
Believe me, it was way funnier to hear the dad tell the story in person.
LOL - True story!
I was having breakfast with a buddy today.
Ask him how the family is doing.*
He goes on to tell me this funny story.
Last week his 17 year old son comes to him in the morning complaining of having a sore wrist (hurt it at football practice).
Dad tells him to go take an Aleve. Tells the kid to go to the medicine cabinet in Mom and Dad's bathroom and the bottle is there. Mentions they are the blue pills.
Kid goes off and supposedly does as Dad says.
An hour of so later Dad gets a call from the son.
The kid is sitting in a stall in the boys bathroom at school with a raging boner!*
Long story short, it appears the kid took one of Dad's*Viagra, not an Aleve.
Dad trying very hard not to laugh, quietly asks the kid if he has tried masturbating to see if the boner goes away. The kid replies he has, twice, but his cock is still hard as the Hope Diamond (my words no his). LOL!
I guess the kid is freaking out because it is starting to be painful.
The Dad ends up calling the Vice Prinicpal (the Principal is a woman), explaining the situation and the VP goes to find the kid.
By the time Dad gets to the school I guess the effects were starting to go away but Dad takes the kid home for the rest of the day.
Believe me, it was way funnier to hear the dad tell the story in person.
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Hey, tehp8rkpv! Whether of not that story is true, it isn't original.
https://perb.cc/vbulletin/showthread.php?242043-LOL-True-story!&p=1815981&viewfull=1#post1815981
https://perb.cc/vbulletin/showthread.php?242043-LOL-True-story!&p=1815981&viewfull=1#post1815981
You’ve missunderstood the intent of this thread. He’s posting the “original” story from Jethro Bodine as a “Best of Perb”....
Actually, what I missed was the link to Jethro's original post at the top of tehp8rkpv's post. I could probably still delete my post, but it's my fault, so I'll leave it there.
My apologies to you, tehp8rkpv. Mea culpa!
I will spare you the boring details leading up to it. However there is an invaluable lesson to be passed along here...the cops are on our side in this.
Incall at an upscale hotel downtown. Chick takes my money, goes to the closet and puts it in there somewhere while I get undressed.
Chick comes away and then tells me that she can't provide the service. WTF?!?! OK...so I get dressed and demanded my money back. Chick tells me that she can't do that. WTF?!?!? I demand my money back again and again she tells me she can't.
So I walk over to the closet, open the door, and the big scary black pimp jumped out and starts chucking knuckles. And then as he's doing this he grabs my shirt and starts dragging me to the door as she opens it, and starts yelling at the top of his lungs to get out of their room.
I'm sure the thinking these morons had was that most guys would be just too embarrassed to stay around for all the bullshit. Why get into an altercation when the hotel staff are gonna come up, and then involve the cops, and then deal with the aftermath and all that bullshit and then explain why you were there? Better to just get out of the room, write off the money and go away with your tail tucked in between your legs and write it off.
Nope. Not this time. This time I went berserk on the scumbag. He got the first 5 or 6 shots in on me, and ripped away on my shirt when I didn't know what was happening. After that I laid a bloody beating on that piece of shit. While this was happening the girl decided to take a few shots at me in the face while I was busy with him - so she got blasted in the face multiple times for her troubles (and it wasn't pretty). I won't talk about duration or quantities or anything else because of course this is under investigation right now. But let's just say that all the blood all over the carpets and walls in the hotel room and hallway was both of theirs - and they deserved everything they got.
And then when the hotel manager ran up I eased up on things, I mounted the faggot and held him down with a forearm to his neck and or throat depending on which way up he was squirming, and kept him under wraps until the cops came. I was nervous about this part because of course you never know how they are going to treat you for what part you did in the whole thing - but I told them the exact truth including the details of why I was there and what I was doing. They took photos of the entire text messages leading up the appt so there's no mistaking what it was I was doing there.
And thankfully they didn't pass judgment on me and they didn't turn things around on me.
At the end the detectives arrested the two of them - the girl and the pimp - and told me they were in a cell over the entire long weekend because they were a flight risk and a bail hearing wouldn't be available until the long weekend was over, and they were being charged. He said I wasn't in any trouble at all and they were all very, very happy that these two decided to pick on the wrong guy and that I was able to beat the shit out of them instead of them doing it to someone else who wouldn't be able to defend themselves.
The outcome was pretty satisfying all things considered. I managed to be able to dish out some street justice on them and not suffer the repercussions of the law which seems to happen all too often these days.
Let this be a lesson to you assholes out there that do this. The cops won't protect you if the guy you're assaulting decides that he doesn't give two fucks even if he's there for a "massage".
https://perb.cc/vbulletin/showthread.php?238999-Got-jumped-today-it-didn-t-end-well-for-the-both-of-them/page4&highlight=
Went for lunch with a lady after a session the other day. She got a little tipsy and wanted to take me into the bathroom for some fun. I told her how I had actually planned a public sex date with a girl recently and that one of the spots was a carwash close by. She loved the idea so off we went.
We get to the carwash and she decides that she wants to have sex instead of giving me a BJ. Who am I to argue? As we enter the carwash she removes her pants and suddenly mounts me. I am taking it all in when suddenly.....BANG!!! Something hit us or we hit something. All the equipment stops. All the noise stops. She gets off me and I can see again. The SUV infront is abouat 15 feet away and a lady has exited and is talking to the attendant. My passenger scrambles to cover herself and I quickly pull up my pants.
Attendant comes over and tells us that I must of been in drive and that I hit the lady in front of me. Ohhh fuck!! When my lady friend mounted me she knocked the car into drive and also blocked my view so I was unaware of what was happening. We have to back up and get back on the track. The cars behind have to back up as well. We then notice in the office all of the screens showing footage from maybe 12 cameras. Ughh!!!
We proceed through and meet up with the lady I hit. Turns out she is driving a 2 day old SUV and is very concerned about the incident. We exchange info and I am out of there. Ended up costing me $1000 plus a minor paint damage to my bumper.
I tell you, it seemed like a great idea at the time!
Had a nice two hour session with an agency lady yesterday. What surprised me was the revelation that came about during our down time chit-chat. Turns out the lady is a doctor! In residency actually so still a little way to go.
I asked her how it is that we met considering her arduous and time consuming career path?
Her answer. "Student loans, 80,000 dollars in debt!"
Goes to show you never know who the real person hiding behind that door may be!
This one is a little off topic of escorts and indulgence but still a good read.....
https://perb.cc/vbulletin/showthread.php?220248-When-Your-Born-an-Asshole-Karma-Can-be-a-Real-Bitch/page2&highlight=crazy
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I like to take a tour of the mad house twice a day......early in the morning with my coffee, and it's also when my mind is clear, and I feel I may write and respond in my prime.
The second tour,.......is for my other personalities, as they are always verbally abusing each other, so I don't follow along as well.
Yes he had to.....truth be told I kinda felt bad for the guy, until he wanted to only pay me Forestry Stumpage rates, for my trees, which is a damn joke.
We eventually settled on a fair rate, for mature Douglas Fir, which was about 350 per log, if he had to buy them at a log yard.
I still own the buildings as a pain in the ass fee....funny thing is , I'm seeing him less and less around here lately...as he showed up drunk, and demanded access to an upper alpine pasture, claiming he had legal access.....
Let's just say ,it wasn't a finger I pointed at him....and he's never set foot on my place again.
Why is it that people can't figure out, that the best way to get along with me, ....is too simply leave me alone?
