Keep 'em Coming...
One more blooper from the Puntmeister:
...My bro's and I were helping a young damsel move her appartment a few years ago. She had everything all boxed and packed up nicely, so it was just a couple of runs in the truck carrying furniture and packages up two flights.
Near the end of the job, just when the pizza arrived and she broke out the beer to reward our contribution, I tossed one last handbag (that was zipped up) onto the bed in the master bedroom where she indicated it should go. It bounced off, hit the floor, and started a rather loud buzzing sound. It even started moving a little along the wood floor toward me. So I am like WTF? until I realize she must have some kong-size vibrator in there that got jarred into the 'on' position from the impact. I am thinking ummm, so what the heck do I do now. My mind races through the following possibilities:
(a) Just walk away dude - not your issue.
(b) Your crappy aim set it off bud, you owe it to her to quickly zip open the bag, switch it off, and zip it back up before anyone hears it.
(c) Drag it out in front of all her friends and make a big joke out of it, then rot in hell for the rest of my life but the chuckle might be worth it.
Being a gentleman (most of the time), I opted for (b) and zipped open the bag. Wow! What a load of sex toys this seemingly 'nice girl' pal of mine had in there! I was shocked, because she is like studious and calls her mom every day! I am about to root around in there for the offending article, when suddenly from the doorway three heads pop in (including hers) and one of my bro's says "what's keeping you", whilst I am holding an open and obviously vibrating bag in my hand. My jaw drops; the bag slides from my shocked hand, and all the stuff spills out including some wierd curved green thing which proceeds to hop along the floor toward the exit with a life all its own. The three heads peering in through the doorway were priceless, like the 3 stooges or something. The first was like "ooooooohhhhhh" from Andy Griffiths show. The second was a big "wwwwhhhhhaaaaatttt?" shit eating grin. The third was like "uuuuuugggggghhhhh! my life is ruined".
I don't recall who hit the floor first, but the moment was just so freaking funny we all ended up in stitches. I didn't even try to explain why I was poking through her bag, but my buddy piped up with "so is that your favourite martian, or is it just happy to be moving in with you?". With this, I think I may have peed my pants for the once and only time in my adult life!
-PM.
