Bad Porn

[Cock Throppled]

My recent question about ATM made me realize why I dislike porn, now. I think there was a thread about what we don't like about porn and maybe I'll kick off another one with these dislikes.
1. Guys who look like extras in The Sopranos.
2. Girls who look one step away from working Hastings St.
3. Girls with mysterious abdominal scars.
4. Men and women with recently shaved genitals that are all razor-burned.
5. Guys who can't say anything when they come and just keep panting and gunting for much longer than necessary.
6. Women who look like they are in pain, drugged or completely bored.
7. Pimply bottoms. It's like a giant mole on someone's face - you just can't take your eyes off those big, red spots.
8. Wrinkly bums.
9. Dirty feet.
10.Stained underwear. Eww.

 

[wolverine]

11. Cameramen who talk during a solo gal shoot.
12. Girls who are naked but are still wearing their shoes/socks.
13. Girls who come across on film as clumsy and stupid with no sensuality (e.g. Allison Angel, that Kate Playground chick with the hoof foot).
14. Butterfaces
15. Brunettes who become just another dime-a-dozen blonde (e.g. Amy Reid)
16. 70's style untrimmed pubic forests
17. Too much smiling or other facial expressions that do not change at all.
18. Guys with phony dicks (see: Insane Cock Brothas)
19. Participants (girls or guys) who try to look intense but end up looking constipated

 

[LonelyGhost]

20. guys who spend a fortune on porn but are too cheap to poon!

 

[gravitas]

21. porn stars with all the acting ability of sharon stone
22. shitty lighting
23. plot lines that are fucked up even by porn standards
24. 2 guys and 1 chick
25. even worse 3 guys and 1 chick
26. socks left on
27. nasty looking actors, if I wanted to see ugly people fuck I'd watch my neighbors
28. pretty much all japanese and european porn
29. predictable scenes.....she sucks him off for 90 seconds, he eats her clam for 90 seconds and then they fuck for 180 seconds
30. too long for the money shot

 

[lenny]

7. Pimply bottoms. It's like a giant mole on someone's face - you just can't take your eyes off those big, red spots.

What causes these? Syphillus?

 

[Big Trapper]

18. Guys with phony dicks (see: Insane Cock Brothas)

Yeah, what's with THAT shit?

I see all kinds of porn shots where it's obvious the guy is holding a fake cock and balls rig over his groin area! Young guys too!

Sheeit... I guess all the real studs disappeared with the onset of Viagra, and these phonies' budgets can't afford the cost of the pills.

 

[dexi]

31. Guys eating pussy. Don't ever show me the guy's face, let alone contorted with his tongue stuck out. Blech! A hot woman with a cock in her mouth is a beautiful thing. A dude's tongue is not meant to be seen larger than life.
32. Man ass. Who came up with this camera angle? Mish postion from behind...nothing but hairy man ass. Ugh.
33. Guys with limp dicks. What's up with this? There's this dude named Lee Stone, who has a foot long, never hard schlong. Looks like a botched penis extension surgery.
34. Sputterers. Guys who spurt little wimpy loads. Be prepared to decorate the chick with a nice load. What, are these guys quickshooters who have to whack off so they don't blow too fast during the scene? Cause the only time I produce such a pitiful load is on shot #2.
35. Spitting. Disgusting. This shit should be relegated to special fetish vids, 'cause I don't like seeing it in mainstream porn.

 

[goalieman]

36. hot gurls with nice tits that turn into guys when they take off the bottoms! run! she-male

 

[metoo113]

16. 70's style untrimmed pubic forests

I like that, it takes me back to the 70's!!!! When i had a 32 inch waist and an erection that lasted for ever!!!

 

[xoxo Amie]

just wall-to-wall please

please please please
no bad attempts at a story or plot line ...
it's totally unnecessary ...
you can't act and do we really need context?

please just give me wall-to-wall porn
and a remote controller
with a fast fwd >>
& review <<
button

and what's up with that euro-porn trend of some guy spunking in one girl and another girl eats it as it drips out of her?

 

[littlejimbigher]

37. During outdoor scenes especially anal, seeing flies buzzing around the girls asshole. I swear in one Euro porn flick where they do that scene where the guy fucks her in the ass from the bottom, then pulls out and holds her asshole wide open so the audience can see the chicks bowel tract, a fly flew in. I thought, christ the thing will be in heaven with all the shit debris. Anal larvae. Ewwwww.......

Oh god!!That so gross I can't stop laughing.

 

[Damaged]

12. Girls who are naked but are still wearing their shoes/socks.

I like it sometimes when a woman is naked with high heels on or thigh high boots but's that just me.

I also can't stand it when the women moan excessively like they are dying or something when it's obvious that they are bored.

 

[SG4EVAH]

I actually got a good laugh from this thread. I watched a few pornos back in Wpg, with the ex via Starchoice. Wasn't too impressed, the set seemed cheap and then there was no storyline, acting was fake etc. I don't know, I am NOT a porn connoisseur, maybe it's supposed to be like that? Wouldn't mind to see some good porn lol

 

[georgebushmoron]

37. During outdoor scenes especially anal, seeing flies buzzing around the girls asshole. I swear in one Euro porn flick where they do that scene where the guy fucks her in the ass from the bottom, then pulls out and holds her asshole wide open so the audience can see the chicks bowel tract, a fly flew in. I thought, christ the thing will be in heaven with all the shit debris. Anal larvae. Ewwwww.......

yeah I've seen that too. Probably shot someplace like Kosovo or the sunny beaches of the Black Sea in the breakaway republic of Ukraine.

Worst still is when her butthole clamps up after the fly goes in. She must get a funny itchy feeling down there with the little bug squirming around.

 

[westwoody]

What causes these? Syphillus?

Pimply asses are sometimes caused by shooting steroids into the butt cheeks. Look at Chynna from WWF in "One Night In Chynna". Her BF needs several tries to get his dick into her asshole-he's probably juicing as well because he can't get hard-so we get a good view of her pimply butt and then her giant clit.
That was one of the most pathetic pornos I have ever seen, dirty laundry all over the bedroom, filthy apartment, and two really fucked up people. How the mighty are fallen.

 

[wolverine]

38. Girls who pose with wide-eyed surprise expressions that make her look as though the camera's about to steal her soul (see: Chrissy Moran)
39. Skeletons with silicone
40. Too much airbrushing (see: Playboy)
41. Internet porn links that don't work
42. Links to galleries that only points to another link site

 

[LonelyGhost]

43. bad dubbing ... 'ohohooyoyuhuhoyoyohoh ...'

 

[athaire]

when they rerun the same sequence over and over to extend the scene before the money shot.

 

[wolverine]

44. When there's a collection of gallery links for a certain porn chicks but many of the links point to exactly the same pics and vids posted over and over again.
45. Distorted close-ups

 

[westwoody]

Can you get it at the local porn shop?

Bittorrent. I could only take about fifteen minutes of it, she isn't in her old form.