Bad Poetry

[luv-em-n-lv-em]

An Ode To The Odious Undies

I hate you, I loathe you
I’m filled with disgust
For you pinch and you bind
And yet wear you I must

You creep where you shouldn’t
Your elastic is cheap
Your underwires are torture
When they poke me I weep

Your varieties are endless
At every store
You go on for miles
Torture galore

You come in nice colors
But it’s only a guise
That leopard print thong
It brings tears to my eyes

For guys there are boxers or briefs
Not much more
Well, a thong just for Chad
But he likes it, I’m sure

But for girls, it is endless!
Silk, satin or lace
Bikinis with patterns
All over the place

There’s teddies, and nighties
And cute little sets
And bustiers and garters
And hose with fishnets

Not to mention the undies!
The bras and the slips!
The slinky p.j.s that
Ride low on the hips!

The sorriest fact
Of these various garments
Is that they’re all under cover
The dastardly varmints

So few people know
Of the burden we bear
To gussy all up
In sublime underwear

It would be much easier
And cheaper as well
To wear plain white cotton
Or go au naturel......

Note: I am trying to write my own bad poetry but I'm not there quite yet. I found this while researching the use of a particular phrase.

 

[schizo_man]

roses are red
violets are blue
some poems rhyme
but this one don't

- schizo.

 

[luv-em-n-lv-em]

roses are red
violets are blue
some poems rhyme
but this one don't

- schizo.

Short and to the point. I love these quality contributions from high post count members.

 

[schizo_man]

jus fer you, big rigger

 

[LonelyGhost]

Short and to the point. I love these quality contributions from high post count members.

Haiku?

I do.

 

[gravitas]

More of a toast then a poem
Here's to the hole that never heals,
the more you rub it the better it feels

Herpes, syphilis, crabs and lice,
we've had them all by Jesus Christ

All the salt this side of hell,
will never wash away that fishy smell

Gentleman, The Queen

 

[Dakota Wood]

love these quality contributions from high post count members.

Um, for the record Schizo is currently at .50 posts a day, you are at .64 a day. So tell me again who has the high post count? I'm not wanting to 'start' anything...just calling you on your bullshit

 

[luv-em-n-lv-em]

Um, for the record Schizo is currently at .50 posts a day, you are at .64 a day. So tell me again who has the high post count? I'm not wanting to 'start' anything...just calling you on your bullshit

Personally I think the count is more relevant than the rate, but who cares what I think. (Crossing DW off to-do list)

Your count is 501 and your post rate is 1.08!

Can I take it that you don't appreciate undie humour?

 

[luv-em-n-lv-em]

Here's an odious ode
From an unkissed toad
About a BBW from Surrey
Who could never put down a McFlurry
Some grief she's sown
on Perb, well known

Writer's block. Please add lines.

P.S. I''ve never spent time with a Surrey BBW, so its nothing personal. It's not her fault that Surrey rhymes with McFlurry.

 

[Dakota Wood]

(Crossing DW off to-do list)

Well gee luv-em, you say that like its a bad thing.

Here is a poem for you:

So tell me why is it
the threat of no visit
is meant to strike fear
of loss of biz here?

When it's all said and done
the guys looking for fun
will make a choice
spite of your voice

Some guys will take a shot
because they think I'm hot,
and they will find the time
spent with me is sublime.

I want to share
that I don't care.
Your promise not see me
makes me just giddy with glee.

 

[luv-em-n-lv-em]

You've got a shot at getting back on the list
Cause I ain't that pissed

 

[schizo_man]

Well gee luv-em, you say that like its a bad thing.

Here is a poem for you:

So tell me why is it
the threat of no visit
is meant to strike fear
of loss of biz here?

When it's all said and done
the guys looking for fun
will make a choice
spite of your voice

Some guys will take a shot
because they think I'm hot,
and they will find the time
spent with me is sublime.

I want to share
that I don't care.
Your promise not see me
makes me just giddy with glee.

ha ha that was sweet, it can't be beat.
yer a poet and I didn't know it.

gee look at the time, enough of this rhyme.

 

[luv-em-n-lv-em]

2 pictures = 2000 words?

Got wood <img hspace="20"src="http://www.electroinc.com/products/logging/images/logstackerwithlogs.jpg" height="200" alt="Sometimes I need some help getting it up"> for Wood <img hspace="20" src="http://members.shaw.ca/swguy/Dakota/Dakota_128.jpg" height="200" alt="This looks like it would work too!!">






Note: To see a really bad pun, place the mouse over the first image and let go for a few seconds

 

[Randy Whorewald]

As Shakespeare used to say

 

[schizo_man]

Last night was wonderful making love to you
My fingers instinctively knew just what to do
If I could play piano like my hands played you
I’d be a hit anywhere, in any venue
Absolutely fabulous making love to you
Maybe next time you could be there too
But alone with the sunrise, I'll fire up the brew
God knows I need my coffee more than I need you