Attn married man in 319 area code

[Massagegirl]

Today I got a call from a woman "wondering why this number appeared on our hotel bill on the week-end of the 25th. Is this a business?" Um I'm an esthetician" I replied. "What?" she asked. "You know manicures, pedicures and massages." "Oh I see, that makes sense. Thank you, good-bye." she said.

So I'm hoping she bought it and wondering if I handled it right when she calls back. I thought about not answering, but it goes to my machine which says "feel free to check out my website at ..." which would have given her more info than she needs to know. So... "oops I just called you right?" she says. "Yes you did, did you remember calling around for a massage?" I ask all innocent-like. "No I wasn't there, it was my husband." "oh" I reply flabbergasted. "yes there were quite a few numbers too, mostly um 'massage parlors' and ... whatnot" she responded sounding a little embarrassed.

After that I think I just said good luck or something lame, but what I should have said was something like "oh it's real hard to find a non-sexual massage in this town, that's probably why he called a lot of places." Or "he must have been looking in the wrong section of the local paper, as the "bodywork services" section looks innocent but isn't!"

I kinda feel like I dropped the ball on this one, but if you are married, from the 319 area, and were visiting Victoria over the 25th week-end be careful when you go home tonight!!!! Maybe use the above excuse "I could not find a serious massage therapist so I gave up" or something. Feel free to email me at lucy@lucysmassage.com and I'll confirm if it was your number.

My condolences you unlucky fellow!!!! And a warning to all about covering your tracks, but who knew that local numbers would be on a hotel bill?? Bad Hotel, bad bad Hotel!!!!

 

[BS Detector]

If this does go bad

Sure hope he doesn't try to blame you Lucy for his own stupidity. That sort of thing can happen I suppose but if so, he should accept the blame. Maybe you could have handled it differently but I'm sure it also caught you off guard and it's not like you tried to ruin the guy. In fact quite the contrary.

 

[ShyMike]

that Massagegirl is smooth, two thumbs up on her part in trying to help a lonely husband out, that has a nosey wife, lol

 

[BS Detector]

Let's not blame the wife here either Mike!!!

There is only one person to blame here. It's NOT Lucy, it's NOT the wife. It's the one who promised to "Honour" for the rest of his days and left a paper trail to prove he's a liar and a cheat. The other are all innocent victims.

 

[Massagegirl]

Silly women!

Actually, I don't think I saw him, as I don't work week-ends, so it's true that I'm not expected to cover for someone I've never met. However, I will try my best!

She said there were a lot of numbers so maybe he just called around looking for... a straight massage of course! LOL. BTW, I personally don't think it's cheating when there's no romantic involvement and there's money exchanging hands, but wives are silly about this kind of thing. Go figure!

This is something I have long pondered actually... why do wives/gf's actually think that a man who is genetically programmed to spread his seed as wide as possible, will somehow be happy not doing it?? It just seems unrealistic. Only 2 species in the entire animal kingdom can do it, so isn't it a ridiculously impossible sacrifice to deny evolution?

I have to go for an session but I'll be back to discuss this more!

 

[BS Detector]

Re: Silly women!

BTW, I personally don't think it's cheating

The Only reason I suggested that Lucy, and I was probabby making an assumption which I shouldn't be, was that he MAY have called escorts too, ie. looking for more than just a massage. But your right. He MAY have been looking around for a massage therapist too. Maybe she's just overly paranoid. Between him and his wife I guess.

 

[Massagegirl]

On no BSD, don't backtrack, you have very good points. Actually I kinda believe seeing escorts isn't cheating either, unless you are/become emotionally attached of course, and want to leave your wife for her, so to speak. But just satisfying physical desires, that's just the necessities of life being satisfied! IMHO that is. Marriage contracts should be more specific, to say "deny nature, til death do you part"!!!

I would never enter into a monogamous relationship again, it's setting yourself up for failure! Yet the "swinger" lifestyle seems so tacky. I don't mean to sound jaded about men cuz I think women like the option of a little excitement too. It's depressing to think you will only be intimate with the same person for the rest of your life! But men especially have an evolutionary compulsion to spread their genes, and none of us would be here if that wasn't the case.

Why, in this day and age do people keep up the medieval romanticist idea of fidelity? Are they living in a fantasy land?

Being a good friend, father, counsellor, confidant and provider seem like the more important part of a marriage/relationship. Monogamy, big frickin deal, bonus if you find it! (Or think you have...)

 

[BS Detector]

Re: Silly women!

why do wives/gf's actually think that a man who is genetically programmed to spread his seed as wide as possible, will somehow be happy not doing it?? It just seems unrealistic. Only 2 species in the entire animal kingdom can do it, so isn't it a ridiculously impossible sacrifice to deny evolution?

You're right Lucy, man was programmed that way but woman was also programmed, to seek security. So who wins? Maybe a happy medium is needed. As far as the other species go. I like to think we (well most of us at least) are superior to those other species and NOT spreading our seed at every possible corner is what makes us different from the rest. When you say that, I can't help but visualize a dog stopping to 'mark' every hydrant he goes by and I really like to think that I have evolved beyond that!!! Also if we were meant to "spread our seed" then we should not use "protection." Why draw the line there? If more than one mate is that important then perhaps one should seek and "open" relationship. That could be the happy medium I referred to above. At least there is honesty. We may be one of only two in the animal kingdom but isn't it nice that we are so refined and DO have a touch of class or whatever it is that wild animals don't have? I'd hate to be lumped with the dogs, beasts and farm animals.

 

[Massagegirl]

There's a song called "The answer to it wasn't me" sung by a group of girls. I used to have it but can't find it, can you try to find the lyrics for that Hamish? Pretty please!

Several more posts have been added so I thought I would edit this. Actually Humans aren't one of the 2 species of mammals, I believe it is dodo birds and ducks or geese that mate for life. We're monkeys don't forget! Monkeys are sluts btw. LOL!

No, seriousely, of course where there's a will there's a way, to being monogamous that is, but when the relationship stops being intimate (after kids etc) wives should know that if their husbands aren't getting any at home, they're going to get curious at least about other women. A smart woman would say "oh honey I have a headache, here's 2 browns and a condom, go have some fun, I love you!!" But when men stray, women find it humiliating, especially if others find out. That's why an open relationship would be beneficial, when the gossip reaches you, you can say "oh I'm glad he's having fun, do you want to hear about me and the milkman?"

But that's just me!

 

[BS Detector]

Methinks Lucy's coming after us armed with Lyrics !!!!

 

[dave tv]

Is this it?


Lady Saw - Answer to Shaggy (It wasn't me)


Aight that’s it (What’s wrong)
I’m tired…tired of the same shit over and over and over again
(C’mon girlfriend talk to me)
I’m takin’ this shit to the court (Why?)
I’m takin’ the house; I’m takin the kids (uh huh)
He can have the Volvo, but that fucking Jag is mine
(Oh sure girlfriend, sure, sure)
Could you believe I caught my man red-handed
screwin that slut next door (What!)
Picture them being both buck naked
Bangin’ on the bathroom floor (Oh damn!)

What could he be thinking
Can’t believe that he can hit that ????
Girl my guard hit the floor
I was so mad I couldn’t even speak (It’s simple!)

Underwear on the counter (son-of-a-bitch)
They left stains on the sofa (son-of-a-bitch)
She left her weave in the shower (son-of-a-bitch)
See I got them on camera (son-of-a-bitch)

Could you believe I caught my man red-handed
screwin that slut next door (Damn!)
Picture them being both buck naked
Bangin’ on the bathroom floor (Nasty!)

What could he be thinking (uhhhh)
can’t believe that he can hit that ???? (Uhhhh)
Girl my guard hit the floor
I was so mad I couldn’t even speak (Girlfriend!)

Look how you treat him like a king, him nuh fi lift a pin
Take him for every penny that him ever earn
Nuh take the bag of sweet talk, prepare fi walk de walk
Make him know this is a lesson whey him have to learn
Like the clothes a make de burn, tell him a fi you turn
All when him a dead, a fi you fi concern me
Nuh care him have no right, fi bring him a gyal a night
A yah so if you done argument, it adjourn

Underwear on the counter (son-of-a-bitch)
They left stains on the sofa (son-of-a-bitch)
She left her weave in the shower (son-of-a-bitch)
See I got them on camera (son-of-a-bitch)

I saw her kissing his shoulders (son-of-a-bitch)
Him juke it and him flip it ova (son-of-a-bitch)
I heard the scream get louder (son-of-a-bitch)
Now this relationship is over

Could you believe I caught my man red-handed
screwin that slut next door
Picture them being both buck naked
Bangin’ on the bathroom floor

What could he be thinking
Can’t believe that he can hit that ????
Girl my guard hit the floor
I was so mad I couldn’t even speak

Tried to tell me he was sorry for the pain that he’s caused
I’ve been listenin to his reason it makes no sense at all
Tried to act like he was sorry for the pain that he’s caused
Girl, he thought he was a player
But he wasn’t at all

Could you believe I caught my man red-handed
screwin that slut next door (???? ????)
Picture them being both buck naked
Bangin’ on the bathroom floor

What could he be thinking
Can’t believe that he can hit that ???? (Uhh!)
Girl my guard hit the floor
I was so mad I couldn’t even speak

 

[Massagegirl]

Thanks, I don't understand half of it but thanks anyway. Stains on the sofa- LMFAO.

 

[dave tv]

Should have used Scotch-Guard