It's a Mark Twain quote and here's another...I think it should helpcorruptible said:
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
At what point to you tell your SO your an SP?
- Thread starter Up2NoGood
- Start date
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
younginretarded
no offense....
but I'd use that quote before twain's
ps. my advice carries a double meaning....(I can hear your gears grinding)
no offense....
but I'd use that quote before twain's
ps. my advice carries a double meaning....(I can hear your gears grinding)
why bother? I'll keep taking notes from your threads...who thought such good advice would come so cheap...(oops...didn't mean that to be a play on words)
ps. Is that a tatoo?...or a map of chilliwack"
Aww your just jealous cause I can afford to get a tattoo of chilliwack on my back
So what do you think? Is that a map of chilliwack or vancouver??
ps. Is that a tatoo?...or a map of chilliwack"
Aww your just jealous cause I can afford to get a tattoo of chilliwack on my back
So what do you think? Is that a map of chilliwack or vancouver??
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good ?
what you do not understand is that she HAS a medical background and would tell me about what she did at work everyday...most convincingly I must add ...patient this,,,treatment that
when we met I laid the, er... put the cards on the table and told her everything about me
let's just say.... I told her that I had made some big life changes 3 years previous and had made some mistakes in my past...including visiting ...you know
this was more than dating...we had become serious
like you said,, I was the last one who thought I could be played...but
here we are~
what you do not understand is that she HAS a medical background and would tell me about what she did at work everyday...most convincingly I must add ...patient this,,,treatment that
when we met I laid the, er... put the cards on the table and told her everything about me
let's just say.... I told her that I had made some big life changes 3 years previous and had made some mistakes in my past...including visiting ...you know
this was more than dating...we had become serious
like you said,, I was the last one who thought I could be played...but
here we are~
anna
forgive my nastiness....
looks better blown up
answer:
Vancouver...I think I see Robson Street
forgive my nastiness....
looks better blown up
answer:
Vancouver...I think I see Robson Street
I am inclined to suspect dating a SP is probably not likely to end well in most cases, as people do tend towards jealousy, and there are some basic equity issues as well. But, if the SP is not honest from the get go, I am hard pressed to see the relationship surviving.
At the risk of channeling Dr. Phil or some other quack, it is a little unrealistic to say that things broke down just because of other problems, as some have alluded. That may be, but being a working SP is not a minor detail in the context of a relationship, and if the SO finds out later, and they almost always do, things surely will blow up spectacularly. There is just too much deception to get over.
Incidentally, for Corruptible, I would not be overly surprised if Up2nogood had mentioned leaving the business or all sorts of other stuff. In the course of a break up, people tend to lie like crazy to avoid more nastiness, or in an attempt to save people's feelings.
This has been great to read, but why on earth would someone post this on this forum? I now feel comparativley healthy.
Ned Flanders
At the risk of channeling Dr. Phil or some other quack, it is a little unrealistic to say that things broke down just because of other problems, as some have alluded. That may be, but being a working SP is not a minor detail in the context of a relationship, and if the SO finds out later, and they almost always do, things surely will blow up spectacularly. There is just too much deception to get over.
Incidentally, for Corruptible, I would not be overly surprised if Up2nogood had mentioned leaving the business or all sorts of other stuff. In the course of a break up, people tend to lie like crazy to avoid more nastiness, or in an attempt to save people's feelings.
This has been great to read, but why on earth would someone post this on this forum? I now feel comparativley healthy.
Ned Flanders
Aww... come on Ned... you come here to see if your SO is a SP!
The lie destroyed the relationship... not whether SO was a SP!
... Tiger
Or was it your daughter? My jest is not to make light of the emotions involved in this thread. I asked myself would it have been better if she had not been an SP but doing the entire neighborhood for free? As secrets go this one certainly ranks up in the top five right along with SO banging your sibling, SO banging one of your parent, SO having a same sex relationship and leaving you, or dumping you for the creepy guy that lives in the downstairs apartment!Ned Flanders said:
The lie destroyed the relationship... not whether SO was a SP!
... Tiger
After he gets to know you a bit as a person so he won't judge you on your job alone but BEFORE you 'fall' for each other.Up2NoGood said:
Reason. He hopefully won't judge solely on that fact because he does know you are a nice person, intelligent etc. If he does judge you still based on the job alone, he's not worth investing ant more time into then.
If you 'fall' and then tell him and he can't handle it, it'll hurt like hell for maybe both of you so better to find out the truth sooner rather than later.
Another SP's point of view
Though it certainly isn't the ideal climate for a relationship, it is my opinion that the gentlemen that SPs date be aware of their/our occupation. I have seen the other side of it- my friends who do not tell their SO the truth, and it ends like this, very nasty.
It is clear from the reaction of most of the men on this board that they either would a) prefer to know the truth about their girlfriend's job, b) flip out if they found out later on down the road or c) would choose not to become emotionally involved with a SP.
But bigger than their own preferences is the fact that we have a very uncommon responsibility to give a person the right to choose whether they are comfortable with the health risks that each sp takes...some are more high risk than others of course but no matter if you are a "pooner" or a "sp", you do always take risks. This ideally is an informed decision on the other partys' behalf, which will probably require them to know what you do to a tee....very few men can or would like to handle that....especially before they are emotionally involved with the SP.
Whether or not you can make it work after that, well, its up to you. Its good that Uptonogood is open to the idea of change as far as her way of dealing with new relationships. It would appear that her old "SO" is hurt and rightly so, however it is my opinion that this may not be the right forum to air the personal details of the dirty laundry between the two of you . It can be a slippery slope when people devulge personal information on the internet...thats just my opinion.
Uptonogood, good luck in your future relationships and hopefully this won't be an ongoing trend for you in the future. The fact that you even feel bad is a good sign that you will perhaps next time go into a relationship with a better "game plan" to make things work.
Again, good luck!
Though it certainly isn't the ideal climate for a relationship, it is my opinion that the gentlemen that SPs date be aware of their/our occupation. I have seen the other side of it- my friends who do not tell their SO the truth, and it ends like this, very nasty.
It is clear from the reaction of most of the men on this board that they either would a) prefer to know the truth about their girlfriend's job, b) flip out if they found out later on down the road or c) would choose not to become emotionally involved with a SP.
But bigger than their own preferences is the fact that we have a very uncommon responsibility to give a person the right to choose whether they are comfortable with the health risks that each sp takes...some are more high risk than others of course but no matter if you are a "pooner" or a "sp", you do always take risks. This ideally is an informed decision on the other partys' behalf, which will probably require them to know what you do to a tee....very few men can or would like to handle that....especially before they are emotionally involved with the SP.
Whether or not you can make it work after that, well, its up to you. Its good that Uptonogood is open to the idea of change as far as her way of dealing with new relationships. It would appear that her old "SO" is hurt and rightly so, however it is my opinion that this may not be the right forum to air the personal details of the dirty laundry between the two of you . It can be a slippery slope when people devulge personal information on the internet...thats just my opinion.
Uptonogood, good luck in your future relationships and hopefully this won't be an ongoing trend for you in the future. The fact that you even feel bad is a good sign that you will perhaps next time go into a relationship with a better "game plan" to make things work.
Again, good luck!
Under the same risk of channelling Dr. Phil, I said it would have ended anyway because I don't know of any matches made in heaven that started out with weekly fights that got "horrific" and then just "subsided somewhat." Yes, it would have been better to get it over with sooner than later but hindsight is 50-50. She was stuck either way and, having done similar things in past relationships (as I suspect most of us have), who can blame her for postponing in the vague hope that fate would somehow intervene? I certainly can't and I won't BTW it was interesting to see what assumptions he made about me when he thought I am an SP. It kind of reveals an interesting stereotype.Ned Flanders said:
This is so candid and personal... thank you firstly for just showing that side of your life, and for singlehandedly underscoring that the women I might see or consider are firstly and foremostly human minds with a considerable dollop of femininity.Up2NoGood said:
As I read through your offering here, I always twinged with a feeling that telling him as early as could be comfortably possible was the right move, but I can clearly understand that a woman might not want to put her opportunity to know the emotional affection we all deserve on the line so quickly as a result of renting out her physicality a couple of nights a week.
Give yourself a whole lot of credit for having had and followed the instinct you felt to share that part of you, with someone in whom you were romantically interested.
It shall be that moral fiber that exists within you, that will be the glue which draws your eventual lifemate to you for the long haul.
You risked, sweetness, you dared to risk so much...
I am instantly awash in admiration for you.
After reading more of these threads, suddenly I can't have very much compassion at all for the former S.O.
If indeed he too is someone who has spent his share of time with working girls, then he rates far less compassion in this situation than might a holier subject.
And although the original poster (Up2NoGood) won't see it, the demise of the relationship was not so much the SP issue as it was the clash of the forces from long ago which allow most working girls to exist in this profession and the instinct so many of them have to select the 'bad boys' in their environments for dating material.
How does a woman re-learn basic human attraction in order so that she places herself with mates whose personalities are more suitable to the long haul? That is no easy answer, but I'm sure it requires more self-discipline than most of us could call upon.
If indeed he too is someone who has spent his share of time with working girls, then he rates far less compassion in this situation than might a holier subject.
And although the original poster (Up2NoGood) won't see it, the demise of the relationship was not so much the SP issue as it was the clash of the forces from long ago which allow most working girls to exist in this profession and the instinct so many of them have to select the 'bad boys' in their environments for dating material.
How does a woman re-learn basic human attraction in order so that she places herself with mates whose personalities are more suitable to the long haul? That is no easy answer, but I'm sure it requires more self-discipline than most of us could call upon.
Reading these threads, makes me want to reverse the situation just to get a different perspective.
Any man who spends money and time on working girls lacks moral authority to judge his SP/SO's chosen manner to earn an income., then he rates far less compassion in this situation than might a holier subject.
However, if the man does not partake of SP services in any way, and prefers to be with someone who is not "in the life,' it is grossly unfair to saddle him with an ongoing lie. If and when he finds out, the relationship will become volatile and possibly abusive, as he will lose respect and trust for "his" woman. Ultimately, it spells the death of the relationship...good, bad, or ugly.
I agree that SP's may be relegated to dating 'bad boys' their selection pool is very narrow. The 'bad boy's can accept that their SO is a working girl as it may give him access to cash funds. H can effectively use the info to control and manipulate her if she is emotionally attached to him.
IMHO the only way an SP can get a "good man" and have a "healthy" relationship is to give up the biz and give love a shot.
*
On the other hand, would us pooner have the balls to tell our girlfriends what we're up? Alas, that's for another thread and another day.
*
Any man who spends money and time on working girls lacks moral authority to judge his SP/SO's chosen manner to earn an income., then he rates far less compassion in this situation than might a holier subject.
However, if the man does not partake of SP services in any way, and prefers to be with someone who is not "in the life,' it is grossly unfair to saddle him with an ongoing lie. If and when he finds out, the relationship will become volatile and possibly abusive, as he will lose respect and trust for "his" woman. Ultimately, it spells the death of the relationship...good, bad, or ugly.
I agree that SP's may be relegated to dating 'bad boys' their selection pool is very narrow. The 'bad boy's can accept that their SO is a working girl as it may give him access to cash funds. H can effectively use the info to control and manipulate her if she is emotionally attached to him.
IMHO the only way an SP can get a "good man" and have a "healthy" relationship is to give up the biz and give love a shot.
*
On the other hand, would us pooner have the balls to tell our girlfriends what we're up? Alas, that's for another thread and another day.
*
Reading these threads, makes me want to reverse the situation just to get a different perspective.
Any man who spends money and time on working girls lacks any moral authority whatsoever to judge his SP/SO's chosen manner to earn an income.
However, if the man does not partake of SP services in any way, and expects to be with someone who is not "in the life,' it is grossly unfair to saddle him with an ongoing lie. If and when he finds out, the relationship will turn sour, maybe volatile and possibly abusive, as he will lose the respect and trust he held for "his" woman. Ultimately, it spells the death of the relationship...good, bad, or ugly.
It's been said that SP's may be relegated to dating 'bad boys.' I happen to agree. Their selection pool for dating is very narrow, but the 'bad boy's can accept that their SO is a working girl as it may give him access to cash funds. He can effectively use the info to control and manipulate her if she is emotionally attached to him. Let's face it...the old double standard is alive and well. 'Good guys' still want 'nice girls.'
IMHO the only way an SP can get a "good guy" and a "healthy" relationship is to give up the biz entirely and give love a shot. If it's a true love connection, they will find a way to make money together. If it isn't, she can always pick up where she left off as an SP.
*
On the other hand, would any of us pooners have the BALLS to tell our WIVES/GIRLFRIENDS/SO'S what we're up? Could we expect understanding. "Really, honey, you've gotta believe me. All those gorgeous girls whose services I purchase are nothing but a little hobby of mine. You'll always be my main squeeze!"
Alas, that's for another thread and another day.
*
Any man who spends money and time on working girls lacks any moral authority whatsoever to judge his SP/SO's chosen manner to earn an income.
However, if the man does not partake of SP services in any way, and expects to be with someone who is not "in the life,' it is grossly unfair to saddle him with an ongoing lie. If and when he finds out, the relationship will turn sour, maybe volatile and possibly abusive, as he will lose the respect and trust he held for "his" woman. Ultimately, it spells the death of the relationship...good, bad, or ugly.
It's been said that SP's may be relegated to dating 'bad boys.' I happen to agree. Their selection pool for dating is very narrow, but the 'bad boy's can accept that their SO is a working girl as it may give him access to cash funds. He can effectively use the info to control and manipulate her if she is emotionally attached to him. Let's face it...the old double standard is alive and well. 'Good guys' still want 'nice girls.'
IMHO the only way an SP can get a "good guy" and a "healthy" relationship is to give up the biz entirely and give love a shot. If it's a true love connection, they will find a way to make money together. If it isn't, she can always pick up where she left off as an SP.
*
On the other hand, would any of us pooners have the BALLS to tell our WIVES/GIRLFRIENDS/SO'S what we're up? Could we expect understanding. "Really, honey, you've gotta believe me. All those gorgeous girls whose services I purchase are nothing but a little hobby of mine. You'll always be my main squeeze!"
Alas, that's for another thread and another day.
*
I think these twoare going to have one hell of a make-up sex session. There's still a lot of passion there!
what do u do if your friend's g/f is a former SP but he doesn't know, and you know he'd want to know the truth, and you knew if he knew the truth, he'd leave her
Well, there is a lot of happy possibilities there for my SO or daughter, if there was either......The Real Tiger said:
If you read my post, I was agreeing the lie was the main issue. That being said, the majority of guys I know probably could not handle it if their SO was a SP to begin with, and if you find out about it long after the fact it is less likely you could accomodate it.
Regards,
Ned
