At what age is a woman really old enough to decide to become an SP?

[Cami Parker]

You don't believe there is a direct coronation between age and judgement? Am I understanding that wrong?

Honest to god I think age is a red herring. Yes, I think there has to be a minimum age to consent to this activity, and yes, I think there should be a minimum age for drinking, but let's not pretend there's a direct correlation between age and judgement or age and intelligence because that's never been my experience. If you are reasonably intelligent than I assume you have the ability to learn from your mistakes and learn from either reading, what your parents have told you etc. Over and above that, I would assume you would have the capacity to learn from just being alive. But not many, if any, ever learn or absorb life's lessons at the same rate. I consider myself reasonably intelligent, I was lucky enough to survive my youth, get a university degree, start my own business, get married and have a child, but that doesn't mean an SP who chooses a particular path in live is either smarter or less intelligent than I am, it merely means she was presented with options that I wasn't. As to the brain development theory, while I haven't yet read it, I think your brain should develop until about 40 at which time, I think issues such as memory, etc. start to impede the brains ability to absorb information. FWIW, that's my take on this without reading any studies, which admittedly could alter my perception of this.

Note: After reading this study, I actually think that your brain, and your ability to learn, is somewhat like bell curve, in that it peaks at a certain point, say mid 30's, and then slowly deteriorates due to the aging process. As possibly a complete aside, the one thing I have noticed is that practically all musicians do their best work in their early to late 20's, from the Beatles, Stones, the Who, etc.

 

[Cami Parker]

Can't argue with science!

The process of frontal lobe myelination isn't complete until the mid 20s, and until then reasoning skills are not at their peak. Impulse control is thus not optimal either. You can certainly debate how much that contributes in practice, but there is a legit physiological justification behind the premise that people haven't fully matured until their mid 20s.

 

[*emmanuelle]

My personal experiences make me believe around 25 is the magic number, although everyone is different. Personally this is one of the best choices I've made in my life. For my other friends who did this it's their biggest regret in life and the stigma and shame we are told to feel for this choice caused them a lot of mental disturbances. We started young. They tell me it wasn't the act of being a sex worker but living a double life, lying to your loved ones everyday, the stress of being outed and the hate recieved when outed which was the painful part. That's really hard on an insecure and naive 22 year old.

By mid to late 20's you have a much better grasp on the reality that this choice changes your life forever and what you may want in your future. You understand your values more by that age. Your hopefully done your bar star days so you won't just waste the opportunities this can bring to your life. It's much easier to know that this is the right life for you and not just be distracted by money.

When young it's easy to say who cares about how I feel, I just made enough to do ____ today. When older you are smart enough to know the money isn't worth it if it doesn't feel good.

I'm going to miss your posts so much! Please don't leave

 

[Cami Parker]

I was thinking 25 too.... No judgment, obviously, I was 19 lol

My personal experiences make me believe around 25 is the magic number, although everyone is different. Personally this is one of the best choices I've made in my life. For my other friends who did this it's their biggest regret in life and the stigma and shame we are told to feel for this choice caused them a lot of mental disturbances. We started young. They tell me it wasn't the act of being a sex worker but living a double life, lying to your loved ones everyday, the stress of being outed and the hate recieved when outed which was the painful part. That's really hard on an insecure and naive 22 year old.

By mid to late 20's you have a much better grasp on the reality that this choice changes your life forever and what you may want in your future. You understand your values more by that age. Your hopefully done your bar star days so you won't just waste the opportunities this can bring to your life. It's much easier to know that this is the right life for you and not just be distracted by money.

When young it's easy to say who cares about how I feel, I just made enough to do ____ today. When older you are smart enough to know the money isn't worth it if it doesn't feel good.

 

[Lee Marvin]

I find it different for men and women.
Men have the same maturity at 27 that I find women have much younger than that, more like 22-25.
It goes without saying mostly but women are generally more responsible and mature than men especially at younger ages.

 

[Tugela]

Mostly done, but the important final development has not finished until the mid 20's or even the 30's.

The fact that our brains aren’t developed until the mid 20s means that “legal adults” (those age 18+) are allowed to make adult decisions, without fully mature brains. Someone who is 18 may make riskier decisions than someone in their mid-20s in part due to lack of experience, but primarily due to an underdeveloped brain. All behaviors and experiences you endure until the age of 25 have potential to impact your developing brain.

http://mentalhealthdaily.com/2015/02/18/at-what-age-is-the-brain-fully-developed/

Those changes later on are minor. When they first start at the onset of puberty they are very rapid, but slow down quickly after that. While some development continues in late teens, it is almost all done by then. Experiences you have when you are 18 are not even remotely as impactful as experiences you have when you are 12 or 13.


Think of it as progressing like this, on a scale of 1 to 100 per year in terms of impact:

10: 1
11: 2
12: 4
13: 100 (BOOM!! A very rapid and radical rewiring of the parts of your brain involved in comprehension of long term consequences happens at this time - before this you only understand short term consequences)
14: 50
15: 25
16: 12
17: 6
18: 3
19: 1.5
20: 0.75
21: 0.4
22: 0.2
23: 0.1
24: 0.05
25: 0

That isn't accurate, but it gives you a crude idea of how the that aspect of brain development progresses. It does not continue evenly and then suddenly stop when you hit 25. There will be an exponential decay in the rate of development, but it will never actually hit 0, something will always be going on. But for practical purposes, your most important life lessons will be learned by the time you are about 16. After that it will just be nuances, but your persona will be pretty much in place.

Remember, in Neolithic times life expectancy was about 25-30. If humans were not largely functional as adults by the time they were 16, the species would have gone extinct.

 

[Tugela]

The other thing to remember as well, is that if those lessons are not learned in those critical early years, or the wrong lessons are learned, you will never be able to learn them, and you will go through the rest of your life with only a rudimentary understanding of long term consequences.

There are lots of adults like that. And part of the reason is that kids are far too protected from hard knocks at that age. So they never truly learn.

 

[UhOh]

My personal experiences make me believe around 25 is the magic number, although everyone is different. Personally this is one of the best choices I've made in my life. For my other friends who did this it's their biggest regret in life and the stigma and shame we are told to feel for this choice caused them a lot of mental disturbances.

There are often posters on here in complete denial that someone might regret choosing this profession. Its not for everyone and could be hard to sleep at night living with that much regret.

 

[Ms Erica Phoenix]

I'm fortunate enough to have chosen this profession after having had a lifetime of experience in the world, working in multiple different settings. Having had a life transforming event at 43, then making the conscious choice at 46 to become "Mistress Erica", for me THAT was the perfect age. I choose to embrace it; while I might regret the circumstances that led to making the choice, I don't regret the choice itself. I might have made the choice during university as some of my friends have; believe it or not I was a fit brunette then! I also had a serious drinking problem in its infancy, living away from home for the first time, just turned 19, & oversexed but underexperienced & woefully naive. I could NEVER have done this work at 19. I would prefer that every woman had the choice to do this when she is emotionally ready to so...