Are We Being Manipulated? Are you in this club?

[newatit]

The threads on dating an SP and others about providing a little extra assistance here and there often bring to mind the possibility that those SP's are playing the same game with more than one client at a time.

Are you involved with embellishing the life of an SP by some act of charity or kindliness. Have you done so in the past and ever wondered if you are acting alone, or just one of the "group" she may have been using?

You can certainly contribute to this thread, but if we got a group together and compared notes, it should certainly be off line, and maybe never discussed openly. And no SP names in the thread.

This might save some of us some money and grief.

For example, are you currently helping an SP with car payments? or something else?

Please PM me.

 

[Flanders]

For example, are you currently helping an SP with car payments? or something else?

Wow... Some people have absolutely no personal boundaries...

 

[Dickson]

TS should just tell everyone how he got taken to the cleaners. Clearly he did :nod:

I have been taken to the cleaners on a number of occassions. Not Proud of it but I am a sucker for a pretty face and a whisper in my ear.

 

[Dickson]

The threads on dating an SP and others about providing a little extra assistance here and there often bring to mind the possibility that those SP's are playing the same game with more than one client at a time.

Are you involved with embellishing the life of an SP by some act of charity or kindliness. Have you done so in the past and ever wondered if you are acting alone, or just one of the "group" she may have been using?

You can certainly contribute to this thread, but if we got a group together and compared notes, it should certainly be off line, and maybe never discussed openly. And no SP names in the thread.

This might save some of us some money and grief.

For example, are you currently helping an SP with car payments? or something else?

Please PM me.

Where do I start......... You have no idea the things SPs have done with me over the years. It is very embarrassing. I can give you more details off line. I know some guys on PERB will loose all respect for me but well one thing leads to another and I am implusive. I am on my way to North America so I will be out of range for a while. Maybe when I get to LA I can give you some details. It would be nice to know I am not the only one. Please don't let me be the only crazy person out there.

 

[sevenofnine]

of course i pay for her car and have been manipulated, but i get something in return
a session and sex.

sad actually,
i think a women who has sex for money has a big potentional well to earn a hell of alot of money,
so for her to have finical problems and need me to help her out, i kind of would be wondering what the hell is going on here.


i saw some one from arrangement seekers, the sex was nice she was younger then what i was used to, she was kinky i mean the promise was there to have a hell of alot of fun with her, but she was sending me signals guilting me into seeing her lieing to me,hoping that i was to drunk to notice or to busy with my head between her legs to notice, but i dropped her like a hot potatoe

i think number one you have to know who your dealing with,
and i think every women manipulates you to some extent, i mean they always say they had a good time etc etc, they want you to return want you to write a nice review of them, but anything more then that you have to ask your self what the hell is going on.

i think it part its me, my situation i mean im more used to being called a dick head that some special nice guy, just my child hood, and how i look at life, so its easy for me, to spot a phoney i tend to think worst case sceneria from the get go ok,
its just me,
i think also its what you see what you want to see, people generally see what they want, regardless of what is in front of them,
so a girl whispers things in there ear and well they just go nuts, omg, she is great. im in love.

a girl whispers sweet things in my ear, and i wonder is she like drunk, and got me confused with some one,
funny but two things the girls keep telling me in this, that im a nice guy, and i have no idea how to take a compliment
i think that well, people look for some one to con, or a mark, if that is what there into, so don't be one.
people need a victim, so don't be one,


and like i said no who your dealing with

 

[sevenofnine]

just to be fare,

i have heard alot of stories over the years about women sps being taken for a ride by men, alot,

i spent an entire night once with a very popular lady an icon in the industry, with her crying on my shoulder over some guy who took her,

i think it works both ways, guys, i mean there are clients like us that pay, and get a session, then there are alot of guys that know the women is a escort and for what ever reason they manipulate her try to live of her tell her some sad story, or just offer her some kind of business arrangement that is to good to be true, and it isn't, but it gets him free sex until she fiqures it out and maybe she looses some money in the process,

guys is all im saying is it works both ways, sure some women have take us for a ride,
but men have taken women for a ride as well.
this thread just shouldn't be about men being played for fools

it should be about scum bags in general
and perhaps signs that things aren't quite right

 

[satinguy]

You have no idea the things SPs have done with me over the years. It is very embarrassing. I can give you more details off line. I know some guys on PERB will loose all respect for me but well one thing leads to another and I am implusive.

Not in the least Dickson,

While i am new to this hobby myself and have not been in this situation, I know some pretty good guys that have. Helping someone out of a jam is nothing to be ashamed of. I think this is the nature of this business that has a stigma attached to it. If the person who is recieving these benefits were your say your house keeper or favorite waitress as oppossed to an SP would it be different? It also depends on the Lady in question. There are plenty of independant, progressive, self sufficient ladies in this biz that wouldn't want or need the extra help but there are also those who are in this to get whatever they can out of it.

Just my thoughts but i think this is far more common than we actually realize.

 

[Ned Flanders]

Wow... Some people have absolutely no personal boundaries...

No, I think it is more that people can do remarkably dumb things.

 

[newatit]

such as, and have you managed to avoid them?

 

[PlayfulAlex]

Wow... Some people have absolutely no personal boundaries...

No, I think it is more that people can do remarkably dumb things.

So are you guys brothers?

The threads on dating an SP and others about providing a little extra assistance here and there often bring to mind the possibility that those SP's are playing the same game with more than one client at a time.

Are you involved with embellishing the life of an SP by some act of charity or kindliness. Have you done so in the past and ever wondered if you are acting alone, or just one of the "group" she may have been using?

You can certainly contribute to this thread, but if we got a group together and compared notes, it should certainly be off line, and maybe never discussed openly. And no SP names in the thread.

This might save some of us some money and grief.

For example, are you currently helping an SP with car payments? or something else?

Please PM me.

So I get the question, because no one likes to be/feel used. But, if an SP asks you for some additional financial help, how many questions do you ask, really? Does it really concern you if she's asking other guys for help too? Is that really the issue?

I would think that there just isn't any reason to say Yes to her request, unless you're delusional, and enjoy the idea of being her saviour...more useful questions might be to ask yourself, how well do you know her, how much time have you spent around her lifestyle, what are your gut instincts about her trustworthiness?

If you really want to help her, just do it, without asking questions. If you're concerned about her honesty, just tell her that your bills are high and you only have a small pooning budget, which you just spent.

If she has a good reputation with you, there just shouldn't be any questions to ask. If she doesn't, you just shouldn't be giving her any additional financial help. Sorry, do I see life too black and white?!

 

[shyboy123]

Yup I have been suckered a few times but did it knowing full well it could be a contrived plea for help. I still don't regret it. I would draw the line on drugs for sure though. Cars, rent, shopping, vacations, dental work, new boobies all sound good to me though!

 

[Dickson]

I think PlayfulAlex summed up in a few words what would have taken me several paragraphs to articulate. Not judging gents, just offering an opinion.



And that reason is ... you are a CLIENT, nothing more. Just like every other CLIENT, you must $pay$ for play. Don't get lost in false emotion thinking you are special or different because you're paying her bills.[/QUOTE

That is the hard reality but there is this "Pretty Women" mentality that gets in the way. The idea of being her saviour. I could change her life and in the process change my life. Yea I donate and I give money away to people I think need it but everyonce in a while I meet a SP who I think is amazing and I just want to help her only to be taken advantage off. I then say I will never do it again and just keep it a client provider relationship then a sweet young lady shows up at my door and I become jell O. Then it starts again. Sucker and his money. funny but this only happens to me with SPs. I gave up with this with GF. It might have something to do with my past. If you PM I can explain in more detail if you are really interested why I do this with SPs. Especially single moms.

 

[ReluctantPooner]

Non SP girls/women use guys like this all the time.....so I think it has little to do with them being SP's and alot to do with their morals.

 

[Dgodus]

Vanesssa, I know you meant well with this post, but read from the guy's point of view, you just made the OP's point. If you accept the "care" and "assistance" and are unwilling to reciprocate with a relationship at the next level, it doesn't matter if you like and care for the guy, you are taking advantage of him. Period. He may be that unique individual with the money to burn who doesn't expect anything, but more often, he's smitten or head over heels. Accepting the money, rent, gifts or whatever in those circumstances is pretty nasty, no matter how you spin it. He's in love, you're in love with his money and have no intention of reciprocating. That's manipulative at best, and at worst, well, I will refrain from my usual colorful language, but if you truly believe it's ok to do, then something has gone wrong with your moral compass.

I have friends who I've given assistance to and received it from. In none of those instances was the relationship required to go to "another level". So long as a request is done as a friend and there is no lying/manipulation to make some believe there is more than is really there (ie beyond the regular illusion a provider creates while you're there) I see no moral issues. And what are you supposed to do with "friends" who continually ask, ask, ask for things - get rid of them.

Maybe it's inexperience, but I see trying to be anything other than a good client as foolish. Friends are your friends before they ask for something, people that ask for things then are your friends - aren't your friends. Probably best some people keep that in mind.

 

[PlayfulAlex]

One of my special regular clients helped me by building a storage unit for my closet, another helped me pick paint colors for my place. It doesn't always come in the way of money, but special clients are like friends and the emotions are not false.

Years ago, I had a girlfriend SP who was being harassed by an ex, and he was threatening to go to her landlord to squeal on her, etc, etc (she was a nervous wreck)...she changed her working name, she changed her number, she just couldn't get this guy to lay off and go get a life.

So she felt that her only solution would be to lay low for a while, but she had no other income. I know that it was really hard for her to do but she called one of her wealthy clients, and told him the situation. When he asked how he could help, she said she needed about $1500 to tie her over for 2 weeks until she could figure out what to do.

He said he'd take care of it, and never asked another question. They met in a restaurant parking lot in broad daylight, and he gave her the cash. There was never any request or obligation or offer to pay him back. It was just help of the authentic kind.

She got her situation sorted out, and often talked about how special that guy was for having done that for her. No drama.

And that's the way it should be. If you're not sure if she's scamming you, and that bothers you, then you just shouldn't do it.

 

[newatit]

So a lot of good comments, and experiences, but I will bet there are many more out there with stories of success, or regret. So far, I have never regretted the extras for my SP friend, never, but this one is a big one, and has me wondering along with a few other things.

 

[JClay]

Met a lady a few years ago, by coincidence we both used Gmail accounts so we chatted back and forth infrequently via the in-browser GTalk chat window.

One day I get a get a rather strained message, late late at night, with what appears to be the lady's real name, saying that her bag with her laptop, personal effects and credit card had been stolen from her hotel lobby prior to check-in, and if there was any way I could help. I hesitated for a minute, but ultimately, I decided I'd feel like a bigger piece of shit for not helping someone in distress than I would for possibly buying into a scam. In any case, it all worked out, she EMTd the balance back in a few days, and all's well that ends well - no regrets.

 

[bcneil]

Vanesssa, I know you meant well with this post, but read from the guy's point of view, you just made the OP's point. If you accept the "care" and "assistance" and are unwilling to reciprocate with a relationship at the next level, it doesn't matter if you like and care for the guy, you are taking advantage of him. Period. He may be that unique individual with the money to burn who doesn't expect anything, but more often, he's smitten or head over heels. Accepting the money, rent, gifts or whatever in those circumstances is pretty nasty, no matter how you spin it. He's in love, you're in love with his money and have no intention of reciprocating. That's manipulative at best, and at worst, well, I will refrain from my usual colorful language, but if you truly believe it's ok to do, then something has gone wrong with your moral compass.

+1 to that. Amazing how some people can try to defend ripping people off.

 

[luvsdaty]

Short answer, i don't have friends in this hobby.I use to but after hearing the same sad stories you just become jaded to the whole thing.Now i just see a girl a couple times & move on. Or just run them through the rotation & it might be a year till i see them again.I have a disposable phone that stays off until my little buddy starts trying to do his incredible hulk routine & tries ripping through my gonch.Any text messages that i do get on it i just delete(chances are it was from over a month ago any way)I've done the whole date an sp thing & i'd never do it again, lets face it a lot of these girls have very expensive tastes if you decide to start treating them to shopping trips,vacations,etc.etc.It really starts to ad up fast.
Nope Surly only looks after one person now,Surly.It just makes life so much easier.Now friends outside of the hobby, i wouldn't hesitate in lending a hand in a second.

 

[Tugela]

The threads on dating an SP and others about providing a little extra assistance here and there often bring to mind the possibility that those SP's are playing the same game with more than one client at a time.

Are you involved with embellishing the life of an SP by some act of charity or kindliness. Have you done so in the past and ever wondered if you are acting alone, or just one of the "group" she may have been using?

You can certainly contribute to this thread, but if we got a group together and compared notes, it should certainly be off line, and maybe never discussed openly. And no SP names in the thread.

This might save some of us some money and grief.

For example, are you currently helping an SP with car payments? or something else?

Please PM me.

You wouldn't do this with your plumber, your doctor or your dentist. Why would you do it with your SP?