Are there happily married pooners? - a Valentine's Day question

[sensualsixty]

I am sure that to some people the idea of a happily married pooner is classified as an oxymoron. It seems to be a statement of fact that many/most pooners are married, but I suspect that their reason(s) for pooning are as varied as the pooners. This married pooner had a most delightful Valentine's Day thanks to a wonderful wife of more than 30 years. My problem? - probably a psychological defect where physical attraction for another is part of my makeup. It is accepted by my wife. Different partnerships will have different situations in which pooning as accepted, or at least tolerated.

I am very fortunate in that my wife is somewhere between excellent and superb at making love, and it has taken a combination of two excellent escorts to top anything that I have enjoyed with my wife. I have had some great sex (not lovemaking) with escorts but it has been very much ymmv.

Now that I have opened up the subject, are there others out there that are willing to share their observations?

sensualsixty (long past 60 now)

 

[Javoo]

I am 35 and have been together for 7 years and married for 4 years. We have 2 young children. Absolutely nothing wrong with our relationship or marriage. We invest and nurture our relationship daily and make choices daily that benefit it and us. Relationships don't plateau or stay the same. They get better or they get worse, depending on your input.

Why am I here? And why do I make the choices I do? Not sure yet...selfishness. Not entirely sure about a sex addiction either, lol

We had a great valentines today and tomorrow.....I'm seeing Madison lee love *shrugs*

 

[cautiontowind]

I’m 40 and have been married 12 years. I remember being at the alter wondering if I’m making the right decision. In hindsight it was a mistake. I hadn’t had many relationships before my wife and was scared of being lonely. Now we have 2 kids. There’s been many happy times but we don’t love each other like a husband and wife should. Things will probably end badly and maybe I’m just delaying the inevitable. Why do I see SPs? It’s exciting to meet new people. I can do things that my wife hates doing. This hobby is much cheaper than divorce. Our family has many good times together that I don’t want to end.

 

[masterblaster]

To me if you're married and see escorts on the side then you're not happily married, despite how some may try to put a spin on it.

 

[luvsdaty]

To me if you're married and see escorts on the side then you're not happily married, despite how some may try to put a spin on it.

That all depends on if both of you go into the marriage with eyes wide open. Open relationships can and do work,some end horribly because of insecurities,jealousy and other hang ups. Believe it or not some couples like variety in their sex lives and I see nothing wrong with that.

 

[masterblaster]

That all depends on if both of you go into the marriage with eyes wide open. Open relationships can and do work,some end horribly because of insecurities,jealousy and other hang ups. Believe it or not some couples like variety in their sex lives and I see nothing wrong with that.

Like I said despite how some may try to put a spin on it.

 

[mistermetro]

To me if you're married and see escorts on the side then you're not happily married, despite how some may try to put a spin on it.

I'm very happily married, we just don't have sex anymore. Ergo, I partake in this hobby. So, sure, my marriage isn't perfect, but it doesn't mean I'm not happy to be in the relationship. It's a choice, not a spin.

 

[masterblaster]

I'm very happily married, we just don't have sex anymore. Ergo, I partake in this hobby. So, sure, my marriage isn't perfect, but it doesn't mean I'm not happy to be in the relationship. It's a choice, not a spin.

So your wife is onside?

 

[nightswhisper]

Marriage is an unnatural institution.

 

[mistermetro]

So your wife is onside?

In a "don't ask, don't tell" kind of way, yes.

 

[giddyup]

In a "don't ask, don't tell" kind of way, yes.

Same here. Very happily married 20 years. But haven't had sex for quite a while. But love each other like crazy. We were both older when we married (and she had been married before) and had a very realistic outlook. We didn't encourage the other to pursue others but we definitely adopted a don't ask, don't tell philosophy. Unless one of us met someone who we fell madly in love with, nothing gained by disclosing. I had affairs with civilians early on. Nothing serious. Now, no affairs, just occasional escorts (though 90% of the time "just" RnT....really all i want most of the time now) I agree marriage, or monogamy generally, is an unnatural institution. It's natural to want some on the side, methinks....but maybe that's the European in me Happy Valentines Day After everyone.

 

[mistermetro]

Same here. Very happily married 20 years. But haven't had sex for quite a while. But love each other like crazy. We were both older when we married (and she had been married before) and had a very realistic outlook. We didn't encourage the other to pursue others but we definitely adopted a don't ask, don't tell philosophy. Unless one of us met someone who we fell madly in love with, nothing gained by disclosing. I had affairs with civilians early on. Nothing serious. Now, no affairs, just occasional escorts (though 90% of the time "just" RnT....really all i want most of the time now) I agree marriage, or monogamy generally, is an unnatural institution. It's natural to want some on the side, methinks....but maybe that's the European in me Happy Valentines Day After everyone.

We are in almost identical situations, Giddyup. Have fun out there!

 

[Andrew69913]

I don't think hiding the fact that you see sp's from your spouse can in any way be confused as a happy marriage. If both people are open minded and know about the other transgressions then sure....you can be happy....maybe. Jealousy is human nature though and impossible to ignore. Yes...if you are lying to your spouse and happy, then you are being selfish. No question about it.

 

[giddyup]

We are in almost identical situations, Giddyup. Have fun out there!

I shall. Thank you sir.

 

[masterblaster]

Same here. Very happily married 20 years. But haven't had sex for quite a while. But love each other like crazy. We were both older when we married (and she had been married before) and had a very realistic outlook. We didn't encourage the other to pursue others but we definitely adopted a don't ask, don't tell philosophy. Unless one of us met someone who we fell madly in love with, nothing gained by disclosing. I had affairs with civilians early on. Nothing serious. Now, no affairs, just occasional escorts (though 90% of the time "just" RnT....really all i want most of the time now) I agree marriage, or monogamy generally, is an unnatural institution. It's natural to want some on the side, methinks....but maybe that's the European in me Happy Valentines Day After everyone.

To my way of thinking that's not really a marriage, just going through the motions.

 

[Stamkos]

To my way of thinking that's not really a marriage, just going through the motions.

What’s with you?

They say it works for them, good for them
Why do you continually have to talk it down.
Frankly, Im sure they don’t give a damn what you think of their arrangements/relationship.

 

[luvsdaty]

Like I said despite how some may try to put a spin on it.

Some folks just have a closed mind and only see black and white,right and wrong. At the end of the day it shouldn't really be anyones concern except those involved.

 

[nightswhisper]

What’s with you?

They say it works for them, good for them
Why do you continually have to talk it down.
Frankly, Im sure they don’t give a damn what you think of their arrangements/relationship.

He didn't say it sucks. It's just his opinion.

 

[techno1]

Married men can be happy in the relationship but still be greedy. Sex addict or not. Say it loud and say it proud "I cant get enough Pussy!"

 

[Andrew69913]

Some folks just have a closed mind and only see black and white,right and wrong. At the end of the day it shouldn't really be anyones concern except those involved.

True...except this is a thread opened to talk about this subject so.....people gonna talk lol. To address the second sentence....I think he is saying the problem is, a cheating spouse is not involving those that NEED to be involved in a decision to see other people sexually.....and if you reply with your spouse doesn't need to know....well....I have no answer to that.