Anyone ever been caught...

[nixnix]

...doing the most private of private things?

Last night my girlfriend came home earlier than she ever has and caught me, naked, watching porn, and stroking it with a mask and snorkel on.

There's not really much to say at that point. She walked right past me and went into the bedroom. I quickly turned the porn off, put on some pants, and took the mask and snorkel off. Five minuets later she came out of the bedroom and asked how my day was... it was like she didn't just catch me throttling myself with a mask and snorkel on. The rest of the evening went as normal. We had baked chicken and green beans for dinner, and then watched the simpsons.

I don't really don't know what else to say.




taken from here...
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/chi/186980585.html
sorry, not sure if it was posted before but I bust a gut laughing and though I would share =)

 

[Stew]

I love the best of craigslist:

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/chi/186980585.html

 

[InTheBum]

Mother caught me jerking off to porn...standing and jerking off on to newspapers. I had my back to her...so who knows how long she watched for...????

 

[travelguy]

What's the mask and snorkel supposed to mean?

 

[emacky]

What's the mask and snorkel supposed to mean?

In case he shoots in toward his own face? Mask covers his head, Snorkel covers his eyes?

 

[travelguy]

Mask covers his head, Snorkel covers his eyes?

Does anyone who actually knows the answer want to try?

 

[dieselman]

The ex caught me once.....straight whacking off, no animals involved.....she divorced me because it.


DM

 

[badbadboy]

A true Girl Friend would have pulled up a chair right in front of you and rubbed one out while you were doing yourself.

I see mutual masturbation as part of foreplay.


Call me Old School.

 

[PuntMeister]

Does anyone who actually knows the answer want to try?

Breath play? Just be'in weird? Got a thing for Jacques Cousteau? Or perhaps his assistant Falco, who remains 'un-afraaad' while you stroke one off the deep end?

Yes, this mask and snorkel thing is curious indeed. In fact, it might be preferable for us if you just slutted yourself up with lipstick, or had a broomstick shoved up your ass. That, we could understand! Play on, just as your SO did. Some things are best left alone. The green beans was a nice touch though. I find a smidgen of vermouth does the trick to bring out the bean-wow.

-Punt.

 

[seeker]

George Costanza was caught

http://m.youtube.com/index?desktop_uri=/&gl=CA#/watch?xl=xl_blazer&v=paIkgA3QPiE

 

[lenny]

...
Last night my girlfriend came home earlier than she ever has and caught me, naked, watching porn, and stroking it with a mask and snorkel on.

Oh please! If you are going to post total BS for shits & giggles, at least make it half way believable.
I have been posting "stories" here for years, with most PERBs totally clueless to the online persona.
Take a clue from a pro like me.

2825 {=5000}

 

[Guitarzan]

When I was 12-17 my mom got to be close friends with this younger girl in her early 20's well... <snip> 2 minutes later I was no longer a virgin .

Nowadays they call that rape. Not that I'm saying it was... but....

 

[Iroc]

What's the mask and snorkel supposed to mean?

He was practicing safe sex....."preparing to go down"

What do I win....

 

[Tugela]

Nowadays they call that rape. Not that I'm saying it was... but....

Before 2008 the age of consent was 14, so he was probably old enough when it happened for that not to be the case.

 

[emilioa4]

so was it a five year long relationship then, or did it take you five years to score her?? (12-17 years??_)

 

[vic69]

Totally hot story... you lucky bugger, Uncle C! The kind of story I wish I had in my past.

 

[Tugela]

Not to hijack the thread, but when it happened I was 14, she was 21. You could argue that she did in fact take advantage of me. One could argue I took advantage of her, or maybe we both took advantage of an opportunity. Regardless, I was ready. I'm just glad my first time was with an awesome girl who knew what she was doing, rather than clumsily trying to figure it out with a girl my own age at the time.

Lol...well, that is probably the fantasy of 99% of 14 year old boys (the straight ones anyway).

 

[travelguy]

Totally hot story... you lucky bugger, Uncle C! The kind of story I wish I had in my past.

I bet he wishes he had it too.

 

[travelguy]

Oh please! If you are going to post total BS for shits & giggles, at least make it half way believable.

Relax. It was clear from his post that he was quoting a story. The only one that was fooled was you.