Any SP's have a boyfriend/husband that knows what they do?

[Harmony-bc]

Not at all. You think it is some kind of assault on your masculinity or whatever and I think it is just sex. You talk about an SP\Girl Friend\Wife\SO coming home all fucked out as if it is denying YOU of something. How dare she!!!! Does she not know my dick is waiting lmao.
Like many hobbyists. you look at SP's as objects and I look at them as woman. Was it not you who said in the post asking if SP's had Orgasm's, "Don't know don't care. You pay escorts to go not cum! I only make an exception for squirters because its entertaining for ME!"?
I am no expert on Women, I would be very rich if I was, but in my humble opinion you need to look long and hard at this from the SP's perspective and not from your dick's. Woman look at things so differently than men and the first thing to learn is to an SP, when she is working, it is just Sex. But when she has committed herself to a relationship with someone who cares for her and vice versa, it is something way beyond just Sex
D

`

You are a very intelligent man

 

[HeMadeMeDoIt]

Not at all. You think it is some kind of assault on your masculinity or whatever and I think it is just sex. You talk about an SP\Girl Friend\Wife\SO coming home all fucked out as if it is denying YOU of something. How dare she!!!! Does she not know my dick is waiting lmao.
Like many hobbyists. you look at SP's as objects and I look at them as woman. Was it not you who said in the post asking if SP's had Orgasm's, "Don't know don't care. You pay escorts to go not cum! I only make an exception for squirters because its entertaining for ME!"?
I am no expert on Women, I would be very rich if I was, but in my humble opinion you need to look long and hard at this from the SP's perspective and not from your dick's. Woman look at things so differently than men and the first thing to learn is to an SP, when she is working, it is just Sex. But when she has committed herself to a relationship with someone who cares for her and vice versa, it is something way beyond just Sex
D

Excuse me for thinking that a relationship with an SO should be monogamous and having one with someone that fucks people all day for money isn't an ideal situation to get yourself into. Its not assault on my masculinity or her feminity if I fuck someone else but its a breach of something sacred thats shared between two people in a relationship. Spare me the crap about one being for money nd the other intimate, that's bullshit and doesnt hold water in real life. You're only fooling yourself!

And yes damn right when I'm paying for sex its ALL ABOUT ME. It doesn't have to be mutually satisfying, I dont have to listen to her tell me her life story or whats on her mind. Its no different that your relationship with your employer, you show up to get your job done not for them to hear about your feelings and what feels good in bed

My response was to bunyan saying that watching her do guys wuld be a slap in the face :

not gonna watch a session. that just makes it a slap in the face.

Frankly if I'm with someone I better be comfortable with them doing their work infront of me, if not then you're only kidding yourself. I've seen the John fall for the SP story too many times, here and abroad and its always ended bad.

Dunnochit I'm never going to look at it from an SPs point of view because I'm not one and would never be able to "work" in that line of work yet I have no trouble using their services. You're extra empathetic because you have a history of dating/marrying prostitutes and according to your words have a hard time with civilians.

 

[triplegun]

i think he is afraid that she is going to change and fall in love with one of her clients. is she does love you what she does for work even as an SP shouldnt matter and you thinking about to much is going to hurt you if you think about it more than just work. im not dating an SP but my last GF cheated on me and she got pregnant and i was very mad it was a miscarriage though but we went out for 2 years after but it wasnt the same.opps im rambling on off topic but someone cheating on you if different then having a job as an SP.

 

[dunnochit]

Excuse me for thinking that a relationship with an SO should be monogamous and having one with someone that fucks people all day for money isn't an ideal situation to get yourself into.

We think differently and come from different worlds. However I quote the above only because you speak of monogamy, but pay SP's for sex??? Just in case there was a misunderstanding; monogamy is the state of having only one husband, wife, or sexual partner at any one time. That means you too. And you say the girls that have sex for money and those that choose to date them are the ones fooling ourselves? The irony leaps off the screen
To Bunyan, you were the OP, my advice is this: It is not easy to date an SP. You have to check your prejudices, jealousies and misconceptions at the door. Support your partner and as said before, it is just sex. Remember you’re the guy who wakes up next to her, has dinner with her, curls up on the couch with her, knows what makes her laugh, knows her secrets, gets to walk outside with her, go shopping with her, gets to spend time with her that is not controlled by time ……… It is not easy, but if you are happier with her than without her, then it is worth trying to work it out.
D

 

[HB40]

she would prefer (like many other women in relationships) to have a bf who doesn't see sps. So right there, someone she meets as a client is not going to be considered better than you.

Ay, there's the rub

 

[bunyan]

Those of you who responded with respect to what i was asking i thank u. my so has been telling me the same thing. at the end of the day she comes home to me and u guys are right, i know what makes her happy and what makes her sad. she's doing this for our future and and for herself. but at the end of the day i dont use sp's and not to knock anyone that does but her and i are together for a reason other than her being an sp. i feel much better now for trying to make this work with her.

 

[[Server Error]]

I have dated SP's since my teen years and just passed the half century mark. It is straight chicks I have a hard time dating. My now grown daughter's mother was an SP, my best friend is\was an SP and I have many SP's that I consider friends young and old. And yes I still pay many SP's for their services, well because I like woman and variety. However, when dating an SP I am a one woman man for fear of losing my nuts.
I find it almost natural to date an SP. They are almost all I have ever dated in my life, and no I have never lived of an SP's labours; I have always had a decent job myself. I also like dating SP's because they are sexually experienced and adventurous. When you try something different in the bedroom they don't stop you and say "what the hell was that", they say, "that was fun and let's do that again"
I have found over the years that because of my experience with the business it gives her someone to talk to about the biz, which in many cases has proven to be therapeutic. I find SP's make the best girl friends. If you show love, respect and understanding, then you would be hard pressed to find a woman that can take care of her man any better.
As far as worrying about what she does, who she does it with and how many times, why bother. Give her a hug at the end of the day, draw her a bath and show her that someone cares for her as the person she is and not the person she pretends to be for work. JMHO
D

Makes sense to me.

I certainly wouldn't mind dating an SP (who is otherwise a person I would consider anyway were she not an SP) given that my principles are not typical. I can't say I know what love is, but I know what it is not for me. Love is not about competition, exclusivity, or possessiveness. These are characteristics of lust and biological urges necessary to reproduce and secure resources in order to raise offsprings. Monogamy is a relationship model that demonstrates these qualities.

I'm not monogamous, so jealousy and insecurity do not pose any issue. If she finds someone smarter, more handsome, better than me in some ways, and if she is happy when spending time with that someone, go for it! Spend the night or whatever and have fun! I am not capable and don't have the time and energy to provide or satisfy every need of my lover(s). I am happy when my lovers are happy, too, as long as she stays safe and healthy. Besides, when we are apart, we will have time to 'miss' each other until the next time we meet. Spending time together all the time would drive me crazy, and things would get boring really quickly. I think one meet per week would be nominal, and twice per week occasionally would be okay, but no more. If the time has come for us to part, I will cherish the journey and the memories created together. There will never be any need to become bitter or enemies.

The problem of all this? For this to work, I need to find individuals who are like-minded as well, and this has proven to be extremely difficult

Back to the topic, I am not saying that if you are monogamous, it's not going to work. Many things are possible with an open mind.

 

[Miss*Bijou]

`

You are a very intelligent man

x2


It's SO nice to read the perspective of someone with their head out of their ass.
I find it very sad that not only do we have to constantly deal with outsiders stupid archaic judgments on sex, women and *gasp* women who have sex for money, but we have to also deal with it on a website frequented by men who pay these *gasp* women who have sex for money while truly despising them (and no doubt despising themselves). I'm glad there are at least some who can show that there are men out there who are passed all the caveman shit - even if to be honest and say they could not personally handle dating an sp, that's a fair answer.

It used to upset me when reading some of this stuff, now I just think 'no loss for me', saves me the trouble of having to deal with those women haters and their issues. I do feel bad for you for.

 

[athaire]

Bijou, thankfully all the men that frequent this site and others that are similar to it do not despise women. Sadly it is usually the vocal minority that seem to be able to make their feelings known.

All I am willing to say to the OP is that communication is key, as it is in all relationships. But especially in one involving an SP. Good luck......

 

[Harmony-bc]

Reading people's opinions on how little we are thought of, makes me a little sad, and very grateful for thick skin. You guys do realise that we are women first, and sp's second. There are all kinds of women in this profession, with all different ways of looking at love and relationships.

This guy sounds like his heart is in the right place, and that's all that should matter in a relationship, any relationship, you know. Compatibility, chemistry, and love, that's it, Why bring other shit into it. Why lay your moral beliefs on another. It irritates me to no end, how we are all just lumped into one big pile of sp's, and how our feeling don't matter .

 

[Thais]

Also.. to those who think the only way it can work or is "fair" in a relationship with an SP is if the man gets to have sex with other women, this doesn't make any sense. That is not the same thing.

While personally, I would prefer an open relationship if I were in this situation, I have to agree with this 100%.

Guys, there is a difference between enjoying sex and wanting sex. I almost always enjoy sex with my clients: they tend to be good, considerate lovers.

But it doesn't mean that I want it. Imagine eating a tasty meal when you are completely stuffed. Yes, you are still enjoying the taste. But you can stop at every single moment without a single pang of regret - and sometimes, even with relief. That's why the word "work" is there.

This is one way I can explain the difference between sex as a job and sex for fun, even when both give pleasure. Yes, there are exceptions. But as a rule, when I am with a client, there is no deep intense desire I would feel for someone I am in love with - or even, in a milder form, for a casual sex partner.

 

[athaire]

Sorry this is SO long, but I had a lot of thoughts on this thread & I wanted to be clear. If you don't want to read it then don't, rather than complain.



It was nice to read the thoughtful responses from those who gave useful opinions & advice. However, I think some people misread the OP's post to say "I would like to be ridiculed by those who have no experience on the subject & nothing useful to contribute, who think it's wrong for anyone to date an SP"
My apologies to the OP. I hope you are strong enough to handle other peoples' judgements, assumptions & rudeness about your SO's job. IMO, the way other people behave about the sex trade is probably one of the largest difficulties & threats to your relationship (if you start to believe them or it upsets you too much) when dating an SP. Good luck!





Just because someone doesn't want to watch their SO in session does not mean that they aren't capable of accepting her job or making a relationship work. I think it just means that someone knows that they might have an instinctual emotional reaction (however irrational) if they watch; wanting to watch a session is definitely not a requirement to be in a sucessful relationship with an SP.


So everyone should be comfortable watching their SO who is an undertaker, a proctologist, a slaughterhouse worker, a surgeon, a bull masturbator/semen collector, a stool sample analyzer, or a hazardous waste cleanup crew member who specializes in murder scenes, doing their work, & if they aren't they should not be in a relationship?
And this is not a "John falls for SP story" so what does that have to do with anything?


Just because those would be your thoughts & fears does not mean that applies to everyone. It is pretty arrogant to say "Generally the seeds for relationship failure are there" - on what facts did you base this grand assumption? The fact that you wouldn't want to be in a relationship with an SP?

I always find it funny that one of the number one fears men would have if dating an SP is that she might have sex with someone better in bed than them! This is usually due to the man's insecurity in himself. Is a woman with you simply because you were the best in bed that she'd ever had? Are you going to shut her in your house & never let her meet another man ever again? Cuz even if a woman is not having sex with anyone else, there is always the chance that she will meet someone "better than you" at something, or smarter, better looking, younger, richer, etc. That does not mean she is going to run off with them either. If you know that she is in love with you, then you shouldn't be afraid that she is going to leave you for a client simply because he might be what you consider "better in bed". If I am in a relationship, there is no chance of anyone else being "better in bed", because sex with a stranger for money could never be "better" or turn me on more than sex with someone I love who I have a strong chemistry & connection with, it isn't even comparable.

Ouch! Perhaps you should've said you personally felt that way. I certainly do not feel that way. Did you mean someone who sees SPs while in a relationship? Cuz if you meant someone who has seen SPs period I think that is rather hypocritical.

In what way is it at all helpful to say something like this in such a rude way? You could easily have said, "I don't understand why you do not want to watch your SO's sessions but you are comfortable with the thought that your SO comes home to you after having sex with other men?".
"Fucked out"?! Presumably you mean you would be worried that she would be tired of having sex & not want to have sex with you? No more than anyone who does a physical job might ocassionally be too tired to think about sex the minute they come in the door, or a cook might be tired of cooking & not want to make you a gourmet meal immediately after work. Personally, being an SP makes me more excited about having sex with my SO if I am in a relationship.
"A mouth full of cum"?! Are you just trying to be derogatory here? CIM is not the norm & even if it was something she offered it's not like an SP would ever be coming home with a mouth still "full of cum" Besides, I am sure many SPs in relationships would be willing to adjust their menu to what their SO was comfortable with, & also take showers & use mouthwash before doing anything with one's SO, (just as we do between clients).

Also.. to those who think the only way it can work or is "fair" in a relationship with an SP is if the man gets to have sex with other women, this doesn't make any sense. That is not the same thing. You could say the only way you thought it was "fair" was if the woman was ok with the idea of her SO being an SP as well if he wanted to, but him having sex solely for fun is not the same thing. A man may be ok with his SO having sex as a job, that does not mean he is ok with her having sex solely for fun where no money is involved, or that he should be "allowed" to. However, personally, if I am in a relationship I am usually still ok with my SO having sex with someone else - as long as it's a stranger or SP & no emotions are involved - even though it is not the same as what I do for a living, but it is usually the guy who doesn't want to!

Wonderful post, well thought out......

Reading people's opinions on how little we are thought of, makes me a little sad, and very grateful for thick skin. You guys do realise that we are women first, and sp's second. There are all kinds of women in this profession, with all different ways of looking at love and relationships.

This guy sounds like his heart is in the right place, and that's all that should matter in a relationship, any relationship, you know. Compatibility, chemistry, and love, that's it, Why bring other shit into it. Why lay your moral beliefs on another. It irritates me to no end, how we are all just lumped into one big pile of sp's, and how our feeling don't matter .

As I said earlier Harmony......not all the guys here think that way.

 

[hang5507]

Reading people's opinions on how little we are thought of, makes me a little sad, and very grateful for thick skin. You guys do realise that we are women first, and sp's second. There are all kinds of women in this profession, with all different ways of looking at love and relationships.

This guy sounds like his heart is in the right place, and that's all that should matter in a relationship, any relationship, you know. Compatibility, chemistry, and love, that's it, Why bring other shit into it. Why lay your moral beliefs on another. It irritates me to no end, how we are all just lumped into one big pile of sp's, and how our feeling don't matter .

Well written Harmony!

It is really sad that labels allow us to actually de-humanize human beings.
Choosing a profession, no matter what it is, still does not give people the right to demean their humanity. You scratch us all and we will all bleed the same..

Bunyan, Good Luck !

Regards

H

PS

Hope I made sense, Where's Spermie when I need him.

.