came to me on facebook;
unacceptable......
a young women working for us ,my husband is 20 yr her senior found out that my husband was suffering from some sexual disfunction,he was having a problem acheiving erction.after telling himthat she was a prostitue and had helped other men with this problem they proceed to attempt to have sex in the back of a dirty carpet shop..didn't even take of their close,he just bent her over his desk like she was a dog..she road bare back..any after telling her that he was devistated at what he had done and had tell his wife (he was sure i would leave him) she proceed to blackmail him for several month's threating to tell me. He sugested we go marriage counselin..he thought it would be easier to tell me there.We left on a short holiday and while we were away this slut called my young daughter at work and told her that she had fucked her daddy 5 time's without protection and that she had HIV and he had probaly given it to her mother and that i had probably infected my little grandchildren...Needless to say everything came out in the open,we have had all the test's and are clean.My daughter is still dealing with the uggliness. I am not say'ing that my husband is exempt from any blame or me either for that matter i wasn't there for him. Our marriage is now better than it ever was (SO THAT IS AWSOME).But this little hooker still live's in our community and anoucing she has aids and is willing to have sex partner's without using protection is scary for everyone involed.My husband could have unkowingly contactrd a deadly disease and passed it to me.I think that a prostitue should be responsible to make sure that protection is used and if the condom dosn't fit then she should be saying sorry no sex then...My heart is still broken and i hate this girl so much that it's not healthy i would love to see her hurt like me..she is now in a relationship with some guy. Prostitues have their place i guess but not with married men. thank you
Susan Naomi Davis replied-
Today at 8:03am
this is terrible!!!!and one of the reasons we need an industry association so badly!!!workers like this ruin it for all of us!!!
that said, this sounds like sexual assault and balckmail.
if a vulnerable woman had been exploited and cohersed into having unprotected sex in an emotional state which clouded her ability to freely consent and then was blackmailed, the assailant would be in jail!!!
this worker is a criminal and needs to face justice.
i am so sorry this happened!
when you have been the victim of a crime you experience trauma. the rage you feel is normal and a symptom of trauma.
the following is some information about post traumatic stress disorder. not listed below is your symptom but i have seen it described as emotional imbalance in which a trauma survivor feels nothing when they should ( like- i didn't cry when my grama died)but are over whelmed whelmed with feeling when they shouldn't be(i cry at phone commercials).
it also plays out as extreme emotion or as i call it, explosive rage disorder.i cry in public when triggered and sometimes expode with anger at people around me sometimes even violently.
the symptoms will get better with time so don't despair. google PTSD and get to know symptoms so you can recognize it when it happens to you. for me knowing my symptoms was key to me beginning to recover. also, i am an extreme case and have multiple traumas and survivor guilt so you probale will not experience it as severely.
Triggers
Triggers are things that cause physical, mental or emotional changes within a trauma survivor such as certain smell, sound, place, or person. Generally symptoms and feelings become more intense and survivors may avoid thinking and talking about trauma-related topics because the feelings associated with the trauma are often overwhelming. They may use alcohol and substance abuse as a way to avoid and numb feelings and thoughts related to the trauma. Survivors may also engage in self-mutilation and other forms of self-harm.
When the intensity of these feelings has passed identify any particular smells, touch, place, and/or sound that may have set off the intense feelings and reminders of the crime. Getting a sense of triggers can help a survivor avoid situations where they may encounter them. Then ask, what do you say to yourself? A survivor’s understanding of their reactions to triggers can empower them to change those reactions, see themselves differently or to understand why those feelings emerge.
Coping Mechanisms in PTSD
Coping mechanisms can also be described as Survival Strategies. These strategies have been utilized by survivors in the past, or they are using them at present to help numb the pain of the abuse. They are also used to control feelings, which may threaten to overwhelm survivors. Survivors may have experienced or are presently experiencing problems associated with drugs, alcohol, food/eating, and/or self-injury.
• Recent studies have shown a relationship between the frequency of drug use and a history of abuse.
• A similar relationship has been noted with the development of alcoholism and the impact of abuse.
• Eating Disorders are common to female survivors. They may develop anorexia nervosa or bulimia. For a survivor, compulsive control of food intake can be a way of exerting control over her body, control that was denied when she was being abused.
• Some survivors injure themselves, hurting their bodies by burning, slashing or cutting. The reasons for this behavior vary. It can be a way of relieving unbearable anxiety, triggered by memories of the abuse. It can also develop as a way of dealing with and confronting strong, painful emotions, "using new pain to hide old pain".
• Social Isolation and withdrawal is also common. Survivors report feeling uncomfortable and unsafe around others. They also report feeling uncomfortable talking about themselves and their experiences.
unacceptable......a young women working for us ,my husband is 20 yr her senior found out that my husband was suffering from some sexual disfunction,he was having a problem acheiving erction.after telling himthat she was a prostitue and had helped other men with this problem they proceed to attempt to have sex in the back of a dirty carpet shop..didn't even take of their close,he just bent her over his desk like she was a dog..she road bare back..any after telling her that he was devistated at what he had done and had tell his wife (he was sure i would leave him) she proceed to blackmail him for several month's threating to tell me. He sugested we go marriage counselin..he thought it would be easier to tell me there.We left on a short holiday and while we were away this slut called my young daughter at work and told her that she had fucked her daddy 5 time's without protection and that she had HIV and he had probaly given it to her mother and that i had probably infected my little grandchildren...Needless to say everything came out in the open,we have had all the test's and are clean.My daughter is still dealing with the uggliness. I am not say'ing that my husband is exempt from any blame or me either for that matter i wasn't there for him. Our marriage is now better than it ever was (SO THAT IS AWSOME).But this little hooker still live's in our community and anoucing she has aids and is willing to have sex partner's without using protection is scary for everyone involed.My husband could have unkowingly contactrd a deadly disease and passed it to me.I think that a prostitue should be responsible to make sure that protection is used and if the condom dosn't fit then she should be saying sorry no sex then...My heart is still broken and i hate this girl so much that it's not healthy i would love to see her hurt like me..she is now in a relationship with some guy. Prostitues have their place i guess but not with married men. thank you
Susan Naomi Davis replied-
Today at 8:03am
this is terrible!!!!and one of the reasons we need an industry association so badly!!!workers like this ruin it for all of us!!!
that said, this sounds like sexual assault and balckmail.
if a vulnerable woman had been exploited and cohersed into having unprotected sex in an emotional state which clouded her ability to freely consent and then was blackmailed, the assailant would be in jail!!!
this worker is a criminal and needs to face justice.
i am so sorry this happened!
when you have been the victim of a crime you experience trauma. the rage you feel is normal and a symptom of trauma.
the following is some information about post traumatic stress disorder. not listed below is your symptom but i have seen it described as emotional imbalance in which a trauma survivor feels nothing when they should ( like- i didn't cry when my grama died)but are over whelmed whelmed with feeling when they shouldn't be(i cry at phone commercials).
it also plays out as extreme emotion or as i call it, explosive rage disorder.i cry in public when triggered and sometimes expode with anger at people around me sometimes even violently.
the symptoms will get better with time so don't despair. google PTSD and get to know symptoms so you can recognize it when it happens to you. for me knowing my symptoms was key to me beginning to recover. also, i am an extreme case and have multiple traumas and survivor guilt so you probale will not experience it as severely.
Triggers
Triggers are things that cause physical, mental or emotional changes within a trauma survivor such as certain smell, sound, place, or person. Generally symptoms and feelings become more intense and survivors may avoid thinking and talking about trauma-related topics because the feelings associated with the trauma are often overwhelming. They may use alcohol and substance abuse as a way to avoid and numb feelings and thoughts related to the trauma. Survivors may also engage in self-mutilation and other forms of self-harm.
When the intensity of these feelings has passed identify any particular smells, touch, place, and/or sound that may have set off the intense feelings and reminders of the crime. Getting a sense of triggers can help a survivor avoid situations where they may encounter them. Then ask, what do you say to yourself? A survivor’s understanding of their reactions to triggers can empower them to change those reactions, see themselves differently or to understand why those feelings emerge.
Coping Mechanisms in PTSD
Coping mechanisms can also be described as Survival Strategies. These strategies have been utilized by survivors in the past, or they are using them at present to help numb the pain of the abuse. They are also used to control feelings, which may threaten to overwhelm survivors. Survivors may have experienced or are presently experiencing problems associated with drugs, alcohol, food/eating, and/or self-injury.
• Recent studies have shown a relationship between the frequency of drug use and a history of abuse.
• A similar relationship has been noted with the development of alcoholism and the impact of abuse.
• Eating Disorders are common to female survivors. They may develop anorexia nervosa or bulimia. For a survivor, compulsive control of food intake can be a way of exerting control over her body, control that was denied when she was being abused.
• Some survivors injure themselves, hurting their bodies by burning, slashing or cutting. The reasons for this behavior vary. It can be a way of relieving unbearable anxiety, triggered by memories of the abuse. It can also develop as a way of dealing with and confronting strong, painful emotions, "using new pain to hide old pain".
• Social Isolation and withdrawal is also common. Survivors report feeling uncomfortable and unsafe around others. They also report feeling uncomfortable talking about themselves and their experiences.
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