I've been called a sex addict more than once—and cheerfully accept this label. So I turned with interest to this week's GS feature article on SEX ADDICTION, only to discover to my chagrin that I might not even qualify.
“[Sex addiction] is a compulsive behavior that completely dominates the addict’s life... Sexual addicts make sex a priority more important than family, friends, and work. Sex becomes the organizing principle of addicts' lives. They are willing to sacrifice what they cherish most in order to preserve and continue their unhealthy behavior.” And: “The one thing that is common among [sex] addicts is a sense of shame...” http://www.straight.com/article-170662/too-much-sex-brain?
Well, absolutely no shame here. And while my interest in sexual variety consumes a fair amount of time and money—and therefore does compete with other priorities—so far I seem to be striking a satisfactory balance between work, friends, other hobbies, and pooning.
But obviously, pooning CAN get out of hand. I don’t for a minute deny that a lopsided pursuit of sexual adventure, like anything done to extremes, has destructive consequences. This article certainly sounds a salutary warning; but I want to raise three quick concerns:
1. Overall, the tone is rather puritanical. There's a facile identification of “going to prostitutes” with having a problem—and very little recognition of just how healthy a dynamic sex life with lots of variety can be. And SPs play a necessary role for many men, given the inevitable shortage of sexually willing women.
2. I'm not clear about what the story of remorseful sex addict Walter Logan proves, except that one shouldn't choose incompatible life values. He seems to have had far less sex than many of us pooners or swingers—and he certainly masturbated less in his youth than did I. It's not too much sex that seems to have ruined him but his failure to overcome morbid guilt and his choice of marriage partners who reinforced this guilt and fleeced him for all he was worth.
3. I think the article lacks balance when it sets up married life as the template for normal, healthy sexuality. The people quoted are full of paranoia about being “found out”—as if it can be taken for granted that having multiple sex partners is something to keep shamefully hidden. My own impression is that "marriage addiction"—just like addiction to drugs, alcohol or sex—also causes lots of unhappiness, bankruptcy and hopelessness. And it certainly tends to lead, sooner or later, to stale sex.
But there's lots in this article that some of us pooners might take to heart.
“[Sex addiction] is a compulsive behavior that completely dominates the addict’s life... Sexual addicts make sex a priority more important than family, friends, and work. Sex becomes the organizing principle of addicts' lives. They are willing to sacrifice what they cherish most in order to preserve and continue their unhealthy behavior.” And: “The one thing that is common among [sex] addicts is a sense of shame...” http://www.straight.com/article-170662/too-much-sex-brain?
Well, absolutely no shame here. And while my interest in sexual variety consumes a fair amount of time and money—and therefore does compete with other priorities—so far I seem to be striking a satisfactory balance between work, friends, other hobbies, and pooning.
But obviously, pooning CAN get out of hand. I don’t for a minute deny that a lopsided pursuit of sexual adventure, like anything done to extremes, has destructive consequences. This article certainly sounds a salutary warning; but I want to raise three quick concerns:
1. Overall, the tone is rather puritanical. There's a facile identification of “going to prostitutes” with having a problem—and very little recognition of just how healthy a dynamic sex life with lots of variety can be. And SPs play a necessary role for many men, given the inevitable shortage of sexually willing women.
2. I'm not clear about what the story of remorseful sex addict Walter Logan proves, except that one shouldn't choose incompatible life values. He seems to have had far less sex than many of us pooners or swingers—and he certainly masturbated less in his youth than did I. It's not too much sex that seems to have ruined him but his failure to overcome morbid guilt and his choice of marriage partners who reinforced this guilt and fleeced him for all he was worth.
3. I think the article lacks balance when it sets up married life as the template for normal, healthy sexuality. The people quoted are full of paranoia about being “found out”—as if it can be taken for granted that having multiple sex partners is something to keep shamefully hidden. My own impression is that "marriage addiction"—just like addiction to drugs, alcohol or sex—also causes lots of unhappiness, bankruptcy and hopelessness. And it certainly tends to lead, sooner or later, to stale sex.
But there's lots in this article that some of us pooners might take to heart.
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