Age Difference

[Rammstein69]

Hey guys, do you think 14 years is too much of an age difference in a relationship? I was talking to a friend I used to work with who works with a girl I had a crush on. She was telling me this girl (who is 25) recently broke up with her long-term boyfriend, seems to be taking it hard, and is looking to fill the void.

I saw her today and she seemed pleased to see me; much warmer and more personable than when she was in her relationship. We always got along well before, even though we kept a respectable distance from each other and kept things on a professional level. Out of respect for her relationship, I distanced myself emotionally, but always wondered if something could develope if she became single again.

Other friends/buddies have always discouraged me from asking her out due to the age difference. I like her and she seems quite mature, but I'm not sure if there's a generation gap there or not. On the plus side, we're both single, and no kids. Opinions?

 

[LittleAsianGuy]

my last gf was 21 yrs old and i was 35 at the time. Just get the nerve and ask her out or you'll regret it

 

[Sonny]

Forget any notion of age difference, and tell your friends to shut their yaps. They are just envious. I've been way older than the gal in a couple of relationships.

 

[trackstar]

Sometimes age makes a difference, sometimes it doesn't. If you are compatable and have a connection, then it doesn't. The only issue people may face in that situation is, usually the older person knows who she or he is and has settled into a certain lifestyle, where-as the younger person may still be finding themselves, ultimately changing in many ways. This may lead to compatibility changing to incompatibility somewhere down the road.

Whereas the younger person slowly sees that the relationship (as it is) as something he or she gradually loses interest in, the older person may not see the inevitable heart break that will hot them like a ton of bricks when it comes

 

[westcoast555]

It depends...

Hey guys, do you think 14 years is too much of an age difference in a relationship? I was talking to a friend I used to work with who works with a girl I had a crush on. She was telling me this girl (who is 25) recently broke up with her long-term boyfriend, seems to be taking it hard, and is looking to fill the void.

I saw her today and she seemed pleased to see me; much warmer and more personable than when she was in her relationship. We always got along well before, even though we kept a respectable distance from each other and kept things on a professional level. Out of respect for her relationship, I distanced myself emotionally, but always wondered if something could develope if she became single again.

Other friends/buddies have always discouraged me from asking her out due to the age difference. I like her and she seems quite mature, but I'm not sure if there's a generation gap there or not. On the plus side, we're both single, and no kids. Opinions?

I think the bigger issue right now is that she's just out of a relationship and in 'rebound' zone. Just spend a little time with her, don't push the agenda and see how she feels. From the way you describe it you seem to be going about it the right way.

You can let her know you're interested subtly... sometimes the age difference can be a useful way of diffusing tension. If she's in, she'll let you know. Be reliable, mature, and make her feel comfortable.

Then see if you can stick it in!

 

[blazejowski]

Personally I really like older men

...and we like you!

In all seriousness, age is just a number....

 

[spicdick]

GO FOR IT !!
age is a number only.

 

[wess]

Age means nothing more than a number!
If you are compatible.... you are compatible!
If the chemistry is there and you are both feeling each other.....go for it!
Personally I really like older men

Misty
x0x0x0

because older men are more generous of course.

 

[trackstar]

Such a jaded and cynical man. You don't like women much, do you? I mean like women, not having sex with them...

 

[Inamorato]

I think the bigger issue right now is that she's just out of a relationship and in 'rebound' zone.

I agree with WC555.
The age difference shouldn't be an issue, but if she is looking to "fill the void" as you put it, that's definitely an issue.

If you just want to date and have some fun, then go for it, but you used the word relationship in your opening statement. Getting into something serious with someone in her position is never a good idea. Keep it casual until she has had time to date a bit, and get herself back on solid ground as a single person. A solid relationship requires 2 solid individuals to be successful.

 

[wess]

Such a jaded and cynical man. You don't like women much, do you? I mean like women, not having sex with them...

I like women, hell, if I was a woman I would be the biggest gold digger around !

I

 

[Man Mountain]

A friend of mine once told me about this sort of general guideline for age differences between men and women. I don't know who came up with the formula or why it's supposed to be relevant but the idea is that a man shouldn't date anyone younger than this. It's basically half your age plus seven years. So, if you're 40 -- nobody younger than 27.

 

[Validator]

If she likes you in the same way (which u have yet to confirm), then age won't matter, will it? Put in another way, do u think she would reject a george clooney or brad pitt because of age difference? It would be a non-issue to her. Sounds like u may be headed for the friends zone if u don't act now!

 

[wess]

If she likes you in the same way (which u have yet to confirm), then age won't matter, will it? Put in another way, do u think she would reject a george clooney or brad pitt because of age difference? It would be a non-issue to her. Sounds like u may be headed for the friends zone if u don't act now!

what if she is her own worst enemy ? If I was 55 and some 20 year old was after me I would save myself the trouble and tell her that she is fucked in the head.

 

[MrPeterNorth]

Whenever I see a 40+ dude with a 20-something woman - I always assume it's either a paid-date, or she's a gold-digger. Like seriously, save me the diatribe of "older men being more interesting". I'd like to think once I reach that age I'd be considered more interesting as well, with a lot more life experience behind my belt. But the reality is - a man in his 40's should have his finances in order, and really - what hot 20-something bunny doesn't like that? Of course it's not for the jewelry and the new designer purses on a weekly basis...

 

[FortunateOne]

I don't know. You hear over and over and over again from sps, younger and older, that they almost always will prefer older client vs younger ones not because of $ and not because of body, but because of attitude, courtesy and kindness. I don't think a non-sp would be any different, having (obviously) dated and broken up with a guy her own age.

 

[MrPeterNorth]

I don't know... I'm a young guy and I've certainly seen my fair share of SP's and I generally always have a good time despite my lack of seniority. Maybe it's because I'm down to earth, make the women laugh, and I'm always super clean?

 

[squid]

I would tend to agree with P.N. I think it's all well and good to say that the age gap doesn't make a difference. But that's probably because we're hoping that it's us ! If you see some guy with a head full of grey hair with not quite the ripped body and a twenty something knockout I bet that most would not be thinking that their in a serious non-financial relationship. I'm not sure that came out right ?

If you met someone half yr age would that be a likely long term relationship ?

 

[wess]

I would tend to agree with P.N. I think it's all well and good to say that the age gap doesn't make a difference. But that's probably because we're hoping that it's us ! If you see some guy with a head full of grey hair with not quite the ripped body and a twenty something knockout I bet that most would not be thinking that their in a serious non-financial relationship. I'm not sure that came out right ?

If you met someone half yr age would that be a likely long term relationship ?

I would tell and 20 year old bimbo to get a life if she was interested in me at age 45 or so. I want a mature cougar looking woman when I am older.

 

[Rammstein69]

I think the bigger issue right now is that she's just out of a relationship and in 'rebound' zone. Just spend a little time with her, don't push the agenda and see how she feels. From the way you describe it you seem to be going about it the right way.

Well, I know from her friend that she is taking this breakup REALLY hard. I guess this guy was her long-term sweetheart she was going to marry. I think she could really use a male friend right now.

At the risk of sounding pious, I'm not the kind of guy who would EVER take advantage of a woman in such a situation. What would be appropriate though...coffee date or dinner date?