After a disappointing date

[FreeG]

Just had a date with a very highly regarded SW at a highly regarded agency. I had seen her years back and it was pretty awesome but this time it just felt…flat. Like, good conversation, very pleasant, but just not feeling like she was really into it or enjoying things, plus some performance issues on my side, all leaving me further questioning seeing SW’s.
Do I see them for my own ego (make me feel I’m the greatest lover ever, even tho I know it’s a bit of acting? ) Do I just try to ignore how she’s acting and be more selfish? Was it something about my own hygiene/breath/actions that may have put her off?

I look back and other than the room being pretty warm, everything seemed fine. But yeah, the normal reactions I’d expect and have experienced in the past just weren’t there. And it made me realize that a silent partner is in itself a pretty big turnoff. (which also reminds me to be more vocal too). She seemed pretty passive in general, and not so into it.

Let me be the 1st to say I don’t expect any SW to be a robot. We’re all humans with complex lives so if it wasn’t something about me maybe she was just having an “off” day. I know I had a lot on my mind and was even wavering on seeing anyone this week (after thinking I’dsplurge on 2-3 dates).

Not expecting/asking for answers/solutions, just sharing an experience and allow others (client and SW) to do the same. Cheers!

 

[luvsdaty]

Sounds like you need to take a break? Like anything in life,too much of a good thing can get boring

 

[wakka wakka]

I know the feeling... Hurts the ego...

 

[Mr. J]

Sometimes, too much talk can be just as deadly. If you or the lady you are with talks too much AND about touchy subjects, well we call that the boner killer.

 

[Number17]

Perhaps she just had an off day. Move on and see other SPs. If you still miss the old her later on, give her one more chance.

 

[Lady Vanessa]

I appreciate how you ended your post share, by stating that you're not seeking answers and solutions. None of us were there in your headspace, hers, nor the experience to speculate what may have occurred.
As a provider to engage in intimacy with multiple partners and often strangers can be daunting and taxing. As a client, walking into a situation can also be daunting and produce performance anxiety etc...
My approach is to engage in activities that first and foremost turn ME on and then in turn I can do the same genuinely for the person who has booked me for that experience. Over acting
is recognizable and misleads to what a companionship should be. Unless, that's what one is in search of. ex: PSE
It sounds like you did have a good time, which is great. It was the previous encounter you remembered and unfortunately is just wasn't there this time.

 

[RalphiEboy]

Just had a date with a very highly regarded SW at a highly regarded agency. I had seen her years back and it was pretty awesome but this time it just felt…flat. Like, good conversation, very pleasant, but just not feeling like she was really into it or enjoying things, plus some performance issues on my side, all leaving me further questioning seeing SW’s.
Do I see them for my own ego (make me feel I’m the greatest lover ever, even tho I know it’s a bit of acting? ) Do I just try to ignore how she’s acting and be more selfish? Was it something about my own hygiene/breath/actions that may have put her off?

I look back and other than the room being pretty warm, everything seemed fine. But yeah, the normal reactions I’d expect and have experienced in the past just weren’t there. And it made me realize that a silent partner is in itself a pretty big turnoff. (which also reminds me to be more vocal too). She seemed pretty passive in general, and not so into it.

Let me be the 1st to say I don’t expect any SW to be a robot. We’re all humans with complex lives so if it wasn’t something about me maybe she was just having an “off” day. I know I had a lot on my mind and was even wavering on seeing anyone this week (after thinking I’dsplurge on 2-3 dates).

Not expecting/asking for answers/solutions, just sharing an experience and allow others (client and SW) to do the same. Cheers!

Have you tried sugaring…?!?

 

[LC18]

Sometimes, too much talk can be just as deadly. If you or the lady you are with talks too much AND about touchy subjects, well we call that the boner killer.

I purposely avoid certain topics because I don’t want to create any tension or awkward conversations. It’s good to chat so that we don’t look like to animals humping each other as soon as once passes the door but too much talk is a problem.

 

[Flashmp]

Everyone has a bad day….. one day everyone could be all hot n sexy , the next day boom ya just go threw the dry spell ….. These days happen … no one is perfect, take it with a grain of salt … have a great day

 

[westwoody]

we don’t look like to animals humping each other

You and me babe
We ain’t nothing but mammals
So let’s do it
Like they do it
On Discovery Channel

 

[vanperb]

I purposely avoid certain topics because I don’t want to create any tension or awkward conversations.

Politics, religion, and criminal activities.

It’s good to chat so that we don’t look like to animals humping each other as soon as once passes the door but too much talk is a problem.

... it's not a good look, but damn when the chemistry is there... I'm on my knees with her leaning back against the door before the door is fully closed...

 

[LC18]

... it's not a good look, but damn when the chemistry is there... I'm on my knees with her leaning back against the door before the door is fully closed...

I feel you. Sometimes we just skip the extra fluff

 

[Willnztree]

I purposely avoid certain topics because I don’t want to create any tension or awkward conversations. It’s good to chat so that we don’t look like to animals humping each other as soon as once passes the door but too much talk is a problem.

What topics??

 

[Lady Vanessa]

What topics??

All those topics which you're unintentionally attempting to stray from the ORIGINAL TOPIC OF THIS THREAD!

 

[westwoody]

“Lightning in a Bottle” is a really sensational date. You can’t really plan for it or make it happen again. It just hits out of the blue.

Instead of regretting that it doesn’t happen every time we can only be thankful that it did happen once.

You can’t make it happen, but if you don’t keep trying you will make it not happen.

 

[kelcaine]

Honestly it could have been an off day, or maybe they are going through some things in their life. Being in this kind of work you need to be “on” all of the time, or try to be. It isn’t easy to do if one is feeling tired or have personal things going on in life… or maybe they had a client beforehand that wasn’t a good experience.

I would suggest not seeing this as a regret as we are all human, but again maybe an off day for the provider. I know I won’t click with all of my clients, and have had clients where we clicked at first but saw each other again and we didn’t for some reason. I would say this is being human.

But I also understand your disappointment when you expect something and don’t receive it. You can decide to try to see this provider again and hope they had an off day, or choose to find someone else to see in the future. But please keep in mind we also have our own lives outside of here and have off days or off moments while working. Hopefully whatever you choose, you have an amazing experience next time.

 

[80watts]

Everyone has a bad day….. one day everyone could be all hot n sexy , the next day boom ya just go threw the dry spell ….. These days happen … no one is perfect, take it with a grain of salt … have a great day

Adding salt to a wound... not good
But hey shit happens and we are all getting older...

 

[amigo67]

I had a disappointing experience with my date as well. I just wasn’t feeling it with her. She was beautiful and accommodating but sometimes the chemistry doesn’t gel.
Halfway through the booking we gave up on the sex and had a wonderful time chatting. She showed me her hobby stuff and I bonded with her cat. It was so interesting that it made it a worthwhile experience.

 

[nscamper]

I had a similar experience when i saw a particular SW for the first time... I looked back on it and realized that it was me. I was too serious... i was a bit nervous maybe meeting her for the first time... realized that I was giving off the wrong vibe. Booked again... this time I made sure I showed up with a big smile on my face and was intentionally more happy and outgoing. That went REALLY well.

Not saying this was you. Just saying it may have been an unintentional on either of your parts. Like they say, body language says as much if not more than verbal... make sure you're communicating positively in all aspects.

 

[masterpoonhunter]

You know how you are when you meet some delicious lady, you hit it off, start pawing at each other and cannot wait to get behind closed doors, or in a car or somewhere where clothes can come off?
What made that happen?
Sure not the same when its a paid date with expectations right out front, but how does one recreate that passion/chemistry, get the pheromones out there?
Sometimes it just does not happen and sometimes it does.
Ah, the mysteries of what makes a good sensual encounter ...
And yes to all those who commented about talking too much as that can just get in the way. I for one starting kissing both sets of lips to send the message that it is ON NOW.
Good thread, and a topic that should be discussed a lot more than in the past.