Every time I see an escort profess to have a "real connection" it always sounds, to some degree, like a marketing thing targeted at the lonely people who are desperate for a connection. Maybe that's not what you intend, maybe you think you really have a real connection with clients, but I'm pretty sure I've seen ads on where escorts are selling "real connections" or "genuine connections" and that always seemed kind of hilarious, if it was tongue in cheek, and disappointing if it was legitimate.
Anyways, I've said it before and I will say it again, I will never see how you can have a "real" connection with someone that isn't even using their real name... unless it's like how Batman and Catwoman are always attracted to each other even though she usually doesn't know he's actually Bruce Wayne. But if it's like Spider-man and Black Cat, then it's a fake connection because Felicia Hardy doesn't like the real Peter Parker, she just likes Spider-man, or her internal idea of Spider-man, which means she's not connecting with Peter or Spider-man but an aspect of herself that she's projecting upon him.
Oh and I've noticed it is usually the escorts that have been around for a while that profess to have those real connections, maybe that's because it takes a long time, and a LOT of repeat visits, to really connect. Or maybe being an escort for a long time has an isolating effect and the escorts idea of a real connection evolves and changes from what it used to be as a non-escort or in her early escort days because she needs that connection too. Just a thought.
Well it's a funny thing this "real connection" business (haha so many quotation marks are going to be misused in this post), and it means different things to different people. Personally it just means how well I "get along" with someone. To some it obviously means more.
I'll go back for some sessions if I felt I got along happily with someone and enjoyed that (provided the sex was at least "good"), but it won't get a whole bunch of repeats.
I'll also only go back a few times if the sex was great (and I dont spend downtime thinking "I should just put my dick in her mouth so she shuts up), but it won't get a whole bunch of repeats if I don't actually "get along" well with her.
Obviously sex is the big kicker and what I go for first. Yes I like conversation time and book to have some, but the sex on the first time (or couple times) is what determines if, when, how soon I want to go back. After that, how well I get along with them (comfort levels, familiarity, being able to be honest about stuff, understanding, etc) is gonna decide just how frequently I go back. There are providers who "play up" the "real" connection stuff. It never flies with me, be a fun play partner first after that you can try and be my friend. I'm not saying all providers have to do that; different strokes for different folks (aka some clients want that), and we all do what we're comfortable with. I'm just saying I take certain effort into consideration then other efforts after. Make no mistake, effort in each area gets noticed, is appreciated, and gets someone more business if the first visit or two go well enough it makes me wanna go back.
There are obviously different levels of getting along. I have someone I like that lies SO MUCH about the things she tells me, it makes me smile in the way she does it though (and, uh, she's a great lay!), and she is just generally "fun" conversation. That's a manner of getting along.
It can also go to somewhere that you "really" get along. That can be hard. It's not easy to give someone money and always believe everything you hear. Especially when after a long time you realize you haven't been told something you; don't agree with or you don't want to hear. When everything for me is good (work, living conditions, social stuff) I tend to be believing and able to focus. When those things aren't good I tend to doubt and overthink details that don't matter (and that has caused friction between those that I get along with "well"). It took awhile, but I came to the realization that regardless of how much is "for my benefit" it doesn't matter if it works for me, and all the different "efforts" are still there each and everytime I go.
Perception is everything and a "real connection" only has to be real for me. So if someone is fun in bed and can make me believe we get along well (regardless of what they really think), boom they get more business. Stop being fun in bed and you can lie till you're blue in the face, it won't matter (someone gets an extra chance or two that others don't get). If everything works for me, why the hell would I wanna dig around for the "truth" and spoil a good thing?
I always say "Don't ask questions you can't handle all the different possible answers for"
