advice needed on delicate financial matters

[ma1234]

Wow, you really ARE something else..and totally judgemental...

Tell me, why can't you accept another opinion? No one is attacking you at a personal level, why are you? What are you hoping to achieve? You have your views and I accept that. I know you wouldn't do what I do and I am not critical of your values, yet you can't accept mine.

If your wife was a paraplegic, what would you do...leave her because she can't have sex? Would you do thru life without?

We care not dealing with black and white here, there are many different type of people and different circumstances. While everyone with have an opinion on it, the only one that matters is the person in that situation - its his/her conscience, his/her karma.

You just don't strike me as someone for whom this is an emergency situation. If it were, you would have a visit once in a while to get what you can't get at home, and wouldn't be so active in the community. Sorry, but you can't be forced to spend all your time here, flirt with the girls, review them, post nude pictures. That can't be blamed on your poor sex life at home.

What I am saying is this is not necessity for you, but a secret double life you enjoy immensely.

 

[nube]

You just don't strike me as someone for whom this is an emergency situation. If it were, you would have a visit once in a while to get what you can't get at home, and wouldn't be so active in the community. Sorry, but you can't be forced to spend all your time here, flirt with the girls, review them, post nude pictures. That can't be blamed on your poor sex life at home.

What I am saying is this is not necessity for you, but a secret double life you enjoy immensely.

Well, I guess we have to agree to disagree, but just a couple of things for the record...I have seen 2 sp's...I haven't posted nude pix, So I am hardly active in the community as you say (I am a newbee) Yes I am active on this board, I find it fun, entertaining and educational. I don't think that you think that's wrong being on the board, do you?

Whether or not I'll see mores sp's? Ya I think I will, I have a year or two left in me. How many SP s? probably not many - there just aren't many here where I live.

But ma1234 I'll just say one thing...I don't know if you have ever been married or how old you are, but when I was younger I felt the same as you do - I thought that true love solved everything, and when I found true love, we would be happy ever after - I really did.

But I've found people change as they grow older. My wife isn't the same woman I married (I am not either) she has changed in many positive and negative ways. We have good times together and we have bad times. But as most older men will tell you, the hormonal changes in woman can really be pretty trying at times - I am not say this as an excuse, but just to point out - that people change - but it does'nt mean that you have to walk away from a life long relationship - there are options.

So on that note, I know we disagree, and that's ok. But there is no point in trying to change each others opinion, nor is there any need to 'attack' one another. If you met me, you might not like what I do, but you'd probably still like me as a person and I likewise. It should be no different on this board.

 

[hunsperger]

...

nube...

thanks for the thoughtful responses...

the fact that you haven't made it personal impresses me...

i also respect ma1234 for his strong convictions on this matter although i believe he shouldn't attack you personally...

nube, you are right, life isn't always black and white...

but in the vast majority of cases it is...

if i was to bet, i would bet that the original poster is looking outside his marriage because he is selfish and wants the security of being married and the variety of being single...

society for the most part is selfish...

 

[henryhill]

Who really cares WHY he is doing it?....He wants advice on how to pay for it. WHY he is doing it is not really any of our business.

 

[hunsperger]

Who really cares WHY he is doing it?....He wants advice on how to pay for it. WHY he is doing it is not really any of our business.

henryhill...

you are taking my comments out of context...

your right, in no way shape or form does he have to answer to me...

i would argue that he does have to answer to his wife...

the woman he supposedly loves...

i know we do not live in an ideal world, but to counsel a man on how to cheat on his wife...

is this what it has come to...

and i'm quite certain (sadly) that he could figure it out for himself...

where there is a will there is a way...

 

[henryhill]

My comments are directed to all the folks who are preaching about morals. Not you specifically hunsperger. I just don't feel like this is the thread to be discussing it in.

Our friend here wanted some advice and now he is probably going to walk off with guilty feelings because we are all preaching at him.

People Poon. Married People Poon. Single People Poon. Why they do it, is not our business really. The Perb Lounge seems like the perfect place for our friend to get advice from fellow Perberts. We'll be lucky if he even comes back here with a response.

Don't scare the folks away people! He asked for advice on how to hide it. he didn't ask whether it was right or wrong.

 

[ma1234]

Nube, ever wondered whether your wife is missing the charming, good looking young guy she married, who always had time for foreplay, gave her compliments and held hands with her at the movies?

Trouble is, she has nowhere to go if she misses that feeling of being with a loving sexy guy.

Just food for thought.

hunsberger, I wasn't attacking nube, I was just pointing out the obvious

 

[nube]

nube...

thanks for the thoughtful responses...

the fact that you haven't made it personal impresses me...

i also respect ma1234 for his strong convictions on this matter although i believe he shouldn't attack you personally...

nube, you are right, life isn't always black and white...

but in the vast majority of cases it is...

if i was to bet, i would bet that the original poster is looking outside his marriage because he is selfish and wants the security of being married and the variety of being single...

society for the most part is selfish...

Well Thank YOU for saying that...I have strong convicions too but I try to not push them on to someone else. My moral convictions are between ME and my Higher Power...

If you think about it....wars have been fought over very similiar things for centuries...someone trying to impose their opinions on someone else. And isn't that the 'society selfishness' you're actually referring too? People wanting others to believe the same as they do?

You are a pooner, as MOST of us here are...society 'selfishly' frowns on what we do period! what do YOU think about that? Mostly likely you disagree with society's opinion. How is that any different than this situation? I am sure that many out there would voice their opinion of you similarily. It a classic case of the "pot calling the kettle black"

Lastly if you really want to 'change' the married man pooner, the approach taken on this thread isn't the way...hell even Jesus wasn't so unreceptive to those sinners, he befriended them, showed them a better way.

But to condemn folks, only divides, and causes anger and resentment, and diminishes the over all value of why we are all here and that is for information, and entertainment.

cheers

 

[ma1234]

We are men for GOD'S sake! Our sex drives are nothing compared to women! We need/want sex with different women as much as possible. Is it wrong to cheat on our wives/SO? Only if they find out or we pass on a disease.

I think it is more like they don't feel like having sex with their husbands, but given the right guy they would come back to life

 

[ma1234]

You are dead wrong. Men need variety. Men need youth. Women should expect most men to cheat. One woman cannot satisfy the needs of one man. And please no sucking up from any of you posters by saying if "I had so-and-so I'd be totally happy." Bullshit! All we think about all day is SEX! After we are satisfied we wait either a few minutes or a few hours and we think about sex again. No wonder we have to cheat.

There are millions of men who are not like that. It is a matter of attitude and temperament.

 

[nube]

Nube, ever wondered whether your wife is missing the charming, good looking young guy she married, who always had time for foreplay, gave her compliments and held hands with her at the movies?

Trouble is, she has nowhere to go if she misses that feeling of being with a loving sexy guy.

Just food for thought.

hunsberger, I wasn't attacking nube, I was just pointing out the obvious

Ms1234, if I hadn't have wondered that, and didn't at least try, I'd be inclined to agree with you. I gave it a few (embarrassed to say how many) years, before I realized that "Hey, its unfair of her"

But on the other hand do I want sex from someone who really isn't into it? That's unfair too!

And to leave someone just because of one thing - well in the words of hunsper - that IS selfish!

Again, that is why I came to this conclusion and I really see the value that SP's have and hense my comment 'saving a marriage'.

As you all know, things can change, she may become interested again...and then I'll have to reconsider.

 

[wannabeslut]

Men need youth.

You don't think women need youth? Don't you think a woman would rather have sex with a man in his 20s than a man in his 50s? You don't think a woman would rather have sex with a fit guy in his 20s than a guy in his 50s who has let himself go?

One woman cannot satisfy the needs of one man.

You don't think it's the same for women as well? Don't you think a woman gets bored of the same man after 5, 10 or 15 years? Maybe it's not the sex drive, maybe it's that she's not into that same guy after 5 or 10 years. Just like the guy is not into her after 5 or 10 years.

 

[ma1234]

True there are millions of men with that attitude. But there are probably more like 2.8 Billion of men who think like me but don't have the balls to admit it. Instead they just want to justify their cheating by making up some pure bullshit. Guys, we just want to get laid as many times as possible in our lives! We all look up to Hugh Hefner and Ron Jeremny. Who wouldn't want to be like either of them?

Hugh Hefner? Would you really want to be involved with brainless little pushovers with no self esteem who don't mind to be girlfriend No.5 ?

You would get tired of dumb chicks very quick, believe me.

 

[bigguyspayattn]

Thanks for the excellent tips! Who knows I may wind up doing the groceries more often

BTW it is very clear to me that there are a few people who are deliberate infiltrators with a hidden agenda. Make no mistake, they may seem to "fit in" but when they get their chance they push their agenda like simple-minded drones.
The best thing is to ignore them while being careful not to reveal anything incriminating to them.

 

[Krustee]

All we think about all day is SEX! After we are satisfied we wait either a few minutes or a few hours and we think about sex again. No wonder we have to cheat.

You are so wrong -
I appreciate women for their minds.