It was early in the afternoon and my best friend and I were sitting in an elegant cafe, nibbling cucumber sandwiches and petits fours, and drinking Earl Grey in fine china mugs. He and I had been so busy in the previous few days--me with work and him with play, all play--that we hadn't had much quality time together. Now that our schedules had finally coincided, I was looking forward to catching up on the latest.
"I can't believe I'm taking high tea with a total dick." I chuckled.
My friend rolled his eyes. "Like I haven't heard THAT one before."
"So what's new in your world?" I inquired.
"I had a session at Temptations." he replied.
"Do tell!" I exclaimed, leaning in across the table. "Who was it? Mariella? Autumn? Alyson?" I suggested, reeling off a list of his favourites.
"Vienna." he replied, and my mouth fell open.
"THE Vienna?"
Grinning, he nodded. He enjoyed the fact that he traveled in more exclusive circles than I did.
"She's--"
"I know." he smirked. "She just oozes sensuality."
"Oozes sensuality!" I repeated. "The girl looks like one of those centerfolds, airbrushed to appear without a flaw anywhere. Except she's real and in the flesh."
"I know." he smirked, sipping his cuppa tea.
"The girl's built like a porn star! She's like a wet dream's wet dream!"
"So would you like to know how it went?" he asked coyly.
I nodded eagerly.
"The session blew."
"You mean she--"
"I mean the session totally blew." he replied acidly.
"But she--I mean, with a girl that unbelievably gorgeous--How? How?" I finally stammered.
"She had my attention the moment she took her dress off." my best friend began. "I mean, I enjoy watching women disrobe. But I was absolutely riveted watching this one. A nuclear bomb could have gone off directly behind me and I wouldn't have batted an eyelid. She has perfect skin; creamy, seductive contours; an absolutely perfect shape; amazing legs--"
"And her breasts?"
"Oh, those breasts!" my friend marvelled. "Mamma mia! So perfect and firm and round, each topped with a golden nipple--"
"Real or fake?"
"I don't know." he shook his head. "I couldn't tell."
"You couldn't tell?"
"What do you expect?" he shrugged. "I lack opposable thumbs."
"Point taken. So now that you're alone with this goddess, who's wearing not a stitch--how on earth could the session have gone wrong?"
"Things went downhill the moment she hopped into bed with me." my amigo replied. "I was just lying there, rigid with anticipation, marvelling at the vagaries of fortune that found me naked and alone with one of the most beautiful women on the planet, when--"
"When???"
"When she started talking about money."
"Money?"
"Uh huh. She started yammering on and on about how much she used to be able to charge for full service at other studios, and how the flat rate at Temptations was far too low, and how she used to command so much more." he replied. "Every second word out of her mouth was either a dollar figure or a complaint. I felt like I was listening to my broker."
"You're kidding."
"No. She made me feel like I was getting some cut-rate 'deal.' You know, like when a car salesman says he can give you $2000 off, but then his kid will have to go without shoes for the next month. I was made to feel like I was ripping her off just by being there."
"Car salesman...I bet that softened you up fast." I teased.
"Well, I felt myself softening, but to stiffen my spine I just kept looking over my shoulder at those magnificent breasts. I tuned out her grousing and just focused my eyes on those perfect nipples. You know if you cross your eyes and stare at a pair of nipples long enough, they start to spin?"
"So then what happened?"
"She asked me to roll over, and the proceedings got underway."
"So--how was it?"
"Oh, the dance of the hidden veils itself was lovely enough." he recalled. "Everything I'd expected it to be. The walls of the house closed around me and held me tight, just how I love it. But the problem was the girl kept yammering."
"Don't tell me--"
"'Come on, baby! Come for me! Come for me! Are you gonna come for me?'"
"The classic 'Let's get this over with.'" I nodded knowingly.
"And then, when I finally give in and come for her, baby, she gets up and starts complaining about the position we did it in. Oh, it was uncomfortable. Oh, it was awkward for her. Oh, the position irritated her. Blah, blah, blah."
"Talk about taking the joy out of afterglow."
"I know. I couldn't even enjoy my complimentary bottle of water." he shook his head. "I felt embarrassed and just wanted to get out of there. It was like my high school prom all over again."
"Let's not take a walk down that memory lane."
"So it was a waste of time?"
"I wouldn't say that." he replied, nibbling on a crustless cucumber sandwich. "A session with Vienna is like a trip to the real Vienna. It's something every guy should experience once, but then--"
"But then--?"
"There's absolutely no reason to do it again."
I set down my cup and smiled at my crestfallen friend.
"Come on." I exclaimed, rising to my feet. "I will not see my best friend down in the dumps."
"Where are we going?" he wondered, grabbing a petit four for the road.
"To your all-time favourite studio!" I replied. "And your all-time favourite masseuse!"
He smiled. "You mean--?"
"I can't believe I'm taking high tea with a total dick." I chuckled.
My friend rolled his eyes. "Like I haven't heard THAT one before."
"So what's new in your world?" I inquired.
"I had a session at Temptations." he replied.
"Do tell!" I exclaimed, leaning in across the table. "Who was it? Mariella? Autumn? Alyson?" I suggested, reeling off a list of his favourites.
"Vienna." he replied, and my mouth fell open.
"THE Vienna?"
Grinning, he nodded. He enjoyed the fact that he traveled in more exclusive circles than I did.
"She's--"
"I know." he smirked. "She just oozes sensuality."
"Oozes sensuality!" I repeated. "The girl looks like one of those centerfolds, airbrushed to appear without a flaw anywhere. Except she's real and in the flesh."
"I know." he smirked, sipping his cuppa tea.
"The girl's built like a porn star! She's like a wet dream's wet dream!"
"So would you like to know how it went?" he asked coyly.
I nodded eagerly.
"The session blew."
"You mean she--"
"I mean the session totally blew." he replied acidly.
"But she--I mean, with a girl that unbelievably gorgeous--How? How?" I finally stammered.
"She had my attention the moment she took her dress off." my best friend began. "I mean, I enjoy watching women disrobe. But I was absolutely riveted watching this one. A nuclear bomb could have gone off directly behind me and I wouldn't have batted an eyelid. She has perfect skin; creamy, seductive contours; an absolutely perfect shape; amazing legs--"
"And her breasts?"
"Oh, those breasts!" my friend marvelled. "Mamma mia! So perfect and firm and round, each topped with a golden nipple--"
"Real or fake?"
"I don't know." he shook his head. "I couldn't tell."
"You couldn't tell?"
"What do you expect?" he shrugged. "I lack opposable thumbs."
"Point taken. So now that you're alone with this goddess, who's wearing not a stitch--how on earth could the session have gone wrong?"
"Things went downhill the moment she hopped into bed with me." my amigo replied. "I was just lying there, rigid with anticipation, marvelling at the vagaries of fortune that found me naked and alone with one of the most beautiful women on the planet, when--"
"When???"
"When she started talking about money."
"Money?"
"Uh huh. She started yammering on and on about how much she used to be able to charge for full service at other studios, and how the flat rate at Temptations was far too low, and how she used to command so much more." he replied. "Every second word out of her mouth was either a dollar figure or a complaint. I felt like I was listening to my broker."
"You're kidding."
"No. She made me feel like I was getting some cut-rate 'deal.' You know, like when a car salesman says he can give you $2000 off, but then his kid will have to go without shoes for the next month. I was made to feel like I was ripping her off just by being there."
"Car salesman...I bet that softened you up fast." I teased.
"Well, I felt myself softening, but to stiffen my spine I just kept looking over my shoulder at those magnificent breasts. I tuned out her grousing and just focused my eyes on those perfect nipples. You know if you cross your eyes and stare at a pair of nipples long enough, they start to spin?"
"So then what happened?"
"She asked me to roll over, and the proceedings got underway."
"So--how was it?"
"Oh, the dance of the hidden veils itself was lovely enough." he recalled. "Everything I'd expected it to be. The walls of the house closed around me and held me tight, just how I love it. But the problem was the girl kept yammering."
"Don't tell me--"
"'Come on, baby! Come for me! Come for me! Are you gonna come for me?'"
"The classic 'Let's get this over with.'" I nodded knowingly.
"And then, when I finally give in and come for her, baby, she gets up and starts complaining about the position we did it in. Oh, it was uncomfortable. Oh, it was awkward for her. Oh, the position irritated her. Blah, blah, blah."
"Talk about taking the joy out of afterglow."
"I know. I couldn't even enjoy my complimentary bottle of water." he shook his head. "I felt embarrassed and just wanted to get out of there. It was like my high school prom all over again."
"Let's not take a walk down that memory lane."
"So it was a waste of time?"
"I wouldn't say that." he replied, nibbling on a crustless cucumber sandwich. "A session with Vienna is like a trip to the real Vienna. It's something every guy should experience once, but then--"
"But then--?"
"There's absolutely no reason to do it again."
I set down my cup and smiled at my crestfallen friend.
"Come on." I exclaimed, rising to my feet. "I will not see my best friend down in the dumps."
"Where are we going?" he wondered, grabbing a petit four for the road.
"To your all-time favourite studio!" I replied. "And your all-time favourite masseuse!"
He smiled. "You mean--?"
