A session went wrong... why?

[kodiak_bear3]

Last week I call a lady advertising on Craigslist and I make arrangements to visit her.
She rarely advertises and openly declares that she is a part timer. As far as I know she is not part of this community.
In her first e-mail she had sent me references to find her on facebook inviting me to check her pictures.

I arrive at her location 5 mins early, I buzz her suite number:
“I’m not ready yet, but please come in”.

I knock at the door and she opens wearing only her panties.
She is smiling and friendly, but her naked body is a turn off for me; I’m staring directly into her eyes as I don’t want to look her naked body.
Some small talk and she goes in her bedroom to put a sleeveless shirt on and take her brand new shoes that she wants to show me.
While putting her shoes on she rolls on her bed spreading her legs; another turn off for me.
I’m still staring at her eyes again and she goes serious and asks: “Is that OK? Do you want to stay?”
“Yes, I’m ok.”

She offers me a drink, I accept a glass of water.
"Let's get the money out of the way" and I hand her the agreed donation.
She hands me a bowl with some juicy grapes.
“Nice! These are great, thank you”
“They are my favorites”.

We grab our glass of water and I follow her in the balcony.
“Are you comfortable in your underwear out on the balcony?”

At this point the conversation turns awkward.
Obviously she didn’t like my question and she took it as a judgment.
Then she start talking about privacy and discretion. How to handle the situation when SP/client meet in a social event.
I can feel that the conversation is going down the drain until at some point she stands up, asks me to follow her, open the door of the apartment:
“You know what? I don’t feel comfortable with you anymore and I want you to leave”.
“please sit down and we talk about it, I’m sure it has been a big misunderstanding”.
“NO, I want you to leave as your words really upset me, I don’t need you to come into my house and make judgments”.
“What? I haven’t made judgments, I have made some comments and you have misunderstood my words”.
“You can come another day for free, but today I don’t feel like having sex with you”.
“Please close the door, I just want to clarify the situation”.
“No, I want you to leave”.
"Yes, I will leave, but I want to leave as a friend, not thrown out of the door”.
“NO, I don’t want to talk about it I just want you to leave”.

At this point she is nearly crying, totally upset and has no ability to think anymore, so I just decide to walk out of the door and go home.
As soon as I get back home I send her an e-mail:

“On my way home I was thinking at what happened tonight.
What I can say is that I'm sorry if you felt judgment in my words, it was not meant to be.

Regarding my initial comment about you walking out the balcony in your underwear, please consider that I don't even walk in my underwear alone in my house... different background - different behavior. Hence my comment (not a judgment).

You are certainly a very sensitive woman and the topic of our discussion was not appropriate.
From my side, I have to say that I was surprised by your reception, and I didn't react well... sorry.”

After one week, she still hasn’t replied.
______________

The above is my recollection of events.
I’m not sure why it all went the wrong way, but I’m interested to hear comments from both men and women in this community.

 

[FortunateOne]

I can feel that the conversation is going down the drain until at some point she stands up, asks me to follow her, open the door of the apartment:
“You know what? I don’t feel comfortable with you anymore and I want you to leave”.


“please sit down and we talk about it, I’m sure it has been a big misunderstanding”.
“NO, I want you to leave as your words really upset me, I don’t need you to come into my house and make judgments”.
“What? I haven’t made judgments, I have made some comments and you have misunderstood my words”.
“You can come another day for free, but today I don’t feel like having sex with you”.
“Please close the door, I just want to clarify the situation”.
“No, I want you to leave”.
"Yes, I will leave, but I want to leave as a friend, not thrown out of the door”.
“NO, I don’t want to talk about it I just want you to leave”.

At this point she is nearly crying, totally upset and has no ability to think anymore, so I just decide to walk out of the door and go home.

Nothing outside of the bolded events should have occurred. If you are asked to leave, you leave. You don't try to insist, to the point of her having to ask several times, to talk about it, you don't wait until she is nearly crying before you go.

Do not expect, considering all of what you tried to do outside of those bolded words above, an answer to your email. She understood perfectly that, after you were asked to leave not once, twice, three times, you refused. You crossed the line, with someone who does not have a lot of experience. Otherwise she would not have gone out for a conversation instead of just starting your session.

On the other side, discretion alone indicates she should have been more discretely attired when greeting at the door.

 

[HB40]

I knock at the door and she opens wearing only her panties.
She is smiling and friendly, but her naked body is a turn off for me; I’m staring directly into her eyes as I don’t want to look her naked body.
Some small talk and she goes in her bedroom to put a sleeveless shirt on and take her brand new shoes that she wants to show me.
While putting her shoes on she rolls on her bed spreading her legs; another turn off for me.
I’m still staring at her eyes again and she goes serious and asks: “Is that OK? Do you want to stay?”
“Yes, I’m ok.”
She offers me a drink, I accept a glass of water.
"Let's get the money out of the way" and I hand her the agreed donation.
She hands me a bowl with some juicy grapes.
“Nice! These are great, thank you”
“They are my favorites”.

We grab our glass of water and I follow her in the balcony.
“Are you comfortable in your underwear out on the balcony?”

Women are intuitive, and working girls need to be even more so. I think she could sense your displeasure and the comment about the balcony confirmed her reservations. Not only that you lied, you wanted to stay but you were obviously turned off, so you weren't ok. I agree with FortunateOne, when a girl is ready for you to leave, you leave.

 

[bcneil]

I take it your donation was acceptable

 

[Violet]

I agree with the others, what is the point of debating the issue if the girl asks you to leave, especially when you said you weren't comfortable anyway & were turned off by her lack of discretion & modesty? I could understand asking for a partial refund, but regardless of whether you feel you are in the wrong or not, there is little use in trying to convince the girl to change her mind, & it can often make things worse. Perhaps asking politely once if she is sure, or asking why, but then leave it at that.

If your version of events is accurate, it does not sound to me like you did or said anything wrong, or could have known what would happen based on your comment, it's sounds like she was just very inexperienced & extremely sensitive.

Perhaps in the future, stick with professional experienced SPs, &, you might want to ask when you book the appt if the SP offers a GFE attitude, & ask what she will be wearing or state your wardrobe preferences (casual, dressy, etc). Another tip is never arrive early to an indie. It can sometimes throw even an experienced SP off her game a bit, as she may have needed those last 5 or 10 minutes to finish getting ready & get into a zone where she is only focussed on you, & arriving before you're expected can result in her not being fully ready & feeling rushed, & not at her best & most confident.

 

[hunsperger]

...

I take it your donation was acceptable

I agree...

the fact that she did not refund most of the money demonstates to me she is a hysterical fraud...

probably needed the money for drugs...

 

[Violet]

I take it your donation was acceptable

Yes, how come no one else has mentioned that part? I do think that a client has the right, if the SP is asking him to leave, especially over such a minor reason, & nothing physical has even happened yet, to be able to ask for at least part of his money back. Perhaps if the woman is emotional & really feels she has been wronged in some way he will have little success, but IMO I think it is unethical to keep the donation in a situation like this.

 

[fatboy2]

why not identify the lady so we're forewarned?other negative reviews say who is being discussed.

And, other pooners might have had a good time with her.often we have varying points of view.

 

[kodiak_bear3]

A couple of extra information

The lady is in her late 30s and, although a part timer, she didn't start recently.

She didn't offer to refund the donation, not in full, not partially. On my side, I didn't ask and yes, they were expensive grapes.

The conversation never went above the lines; nobody raised the tone of voice, no swearing occurred.

What I am mostly disappointed, is that she didn't reply to my e-mail.
I was not expecting her to really offer again a free visit as she mentioned, but at least an acknowledgment of my tentative to clarify the situation would have shown some class.

I will not identify her. I think that what happened may have been the result of a conflict of characters and she doesn't deserve to be pilloried.

 

[Inamorato]

She didn't offer to refund the donation, not in full, not partially. On my side, I didn't ask and yes, they were expensive grapes.

I respect her right to call off the session if she isn't comfortable for any reason, but your $ should have been refunded.

The lady is in her late 30s and, although a part timer, she didn't start recently.

So she is old enough and experienced enough to know what she was doing...

I will not identify her. I think that what happened may have been the result of a conflict of characters and she doesn't deserve to be pilloried.

If she had at least offered a partial refund, I would agree, but she didn't, so I think she should be named. Also, offering a make-up session, but then ducking your attempts to contact her makes her a liar.

 

[TheGuy]

I agree...

the fact that she did not refund most of the money demonstates to me she is a hysterical fraud...

probably needed the money for drugs...

Nailed it!

 

[uncleg]

I think you got hustled. You would have been out the door and out your money no matter what you had said, or even if you said nothing. I have seen this happen before and have had it happen to me, difference is I didn't leave until I had my refund. She doesn't want to play, I don't want to pay. When the tears and indigation didn't work the threats started. They didn't work either. You'd be surprised how quickly she became composed and just paid the money back and called it a day on that one.

 

[angnjon]

Scammed

My opinion is you got scammed. I remember one time I went out with a new provider where everything was going fine. Then in a flash, she does a 180 and says she's not comfortable having sex with someone she suspects is married. There was no indication I was, whether in our discussion or items in the house. She also had zero intention of refunding me. She was also a p/t if this makes any difference. I now try to always go with a SP who has a proven and reliable history.

 

[BJhunter]

she deserves cum on her face!

 

[CaraClementine]

My first thought too, was that you got scammed.....

BUT - I think that she may just be an overly sensitive woman, and although I wasn't there - it seems you were pleasant enough with her.

I do think that you should not have stayed, if she wasn't your type upon her opening the door. When this happens the gentleman should gave her some sort of compensation (depending on what her rate is). Naturally this doesn't apply if it is a case of blatent false advertising.

As others have said, it seems like a case of her sensing that you weren't into her - and getting upset about it.

I do think she over reacted - and there should've been a refund! She should've also responded to your email, especially as it was well meaning, and well worded.

There are always 2 sides to every story, but you seem like you are a gentleman. As she is not here to tell her side of things, I am left only with the impression of your statement. Very dignified & nice of you not to mention her name.

 

[mustangjoe]

I'd like to hear her version of the story. There are always 2 sides and usually the 2 versions are very different. Maybe you're a creep and left out half the story, or maybe you got hustled . Who really knows.

 

[Violet]

As others have said, it seems like a case of her sensing that you weren't into her - and getting upset about it.

I agree. I think she was upset because she thought he was not attracted to her, & it probably made her feel ashamed & the fact that he obviously felt that she was being a bit brazen & immodest, or not very "classy", even though he was polite, probably set her over the top & she felt embarassed & upset. She certainly didn't handle it well, she should've just said something like, "I am sensing that maybe I am not your type or we don't have a very good chemistry. Would it be possible to refund your money & call it a day?"

 

[sirlickheralot]

“You can come another day for free, but today I don’t feel like having sex with you”.

LMAO, a line right out of the scammers handbook. Sure she's so offended and thinks your so judgemental that she can't have sex with you then but in a couple days it will be a different story. Reminds me of when I was a Naïve young pooner. Many years ago a SP named Chantel pulled a very similar stunt on me. After leaving without my donation you'll be shocked to know I never actually got my free makeup session.

 

[sirlickheralot]

The only mistake this lady made (from what was written) was not refunding the money. That was offside.

Keeping the money wasn't a mistake, that was her objective all along. Mentioning the free session is just her way of getting Kodiak to think with the wrong head.

 

[westcoast555]

Wait a minute.. what about the fucking money?

Nothing outside of the bolded events should have occurred. If you are asked to leave, you leave. You don't try to insist, to the point of her having to ask several times, to talk about it, you don't wait until she is nearly crying before you go.

Do not expect, considering all of what you tried to do outside of those bolded words above, an answer to your email. She understood perfectly that, after you were asked to leave not once, twice, three times, you refused. You crossed the line, with someone who does not have a lot of experience. Otherwise she would not have gone out for a conversation instead of just starting your session.

On the other side, discretion alone indicates she should have been more discretely attired when greeting at the door.

She wants you to leave you leave but you shouldn't have to pay for nothing based on just a vibe...