A Mistress Relationship.....some questions ?

[Yackityyak]

Where do I begin? A number of years ago, before I became an active pooner, I was involved in a mistress- type relationship with a wonderful lady. At the time I was in my late thirties and she was in her mid twenties. We would usually get together a couple of times a week, usually for a movie or dinner or just hanging out. A couple of times we went travelling together. The sex was great particularly given that we connected on an intellectual level. While perhaps a little naive, I felt that I was helping her achieve her educational goals.

She was a part time student at that time and I saw her through her schooling. Ironically, we never really talked about the monetary aspect of the relationship. We agreed on a fair monthly amount up front and I always made sure that she was taken care of. A couple of times she commented that things were a little tight and I would discreetly leave a cheque on her keyboard. Not once did we ever argue which is more than I can say about most of the relationships in my life. I also felt that she never took advantage of me financially which is also more than I can say about some of my relationships.

After she graduated and moved onto the next chapter of her life our relationship couldn't continue and she wound things up although to this day we continue to stay in touch and get together for dinner several times a year. She has found happiness in her new life although she admits that a corner of her heart will always be reserved for me. Looking back, we definitely had a strong element of romance.

Perhaps I was lucky in meeting her at the right time for both of us. Since then, I have participated in the pooning community but always find that the emotional/intellectual connections with providers, while at times very strong, are always temporary and fleeting. I also feel that being shown the door at 7:00 p.m. after a one hour session in order to make time for the 7:30 arrival leaves me a little hollow at times.

I don't really know why I'm posting this other than to see if any others in the community have had a comparable experience, be it happy or unhappy. I'm also thinking about looking for a new relationship but have no idea where to begin my search. Just thought that I would share my story on a Sunday afternoon.

Yackityak

 

[curvy_nympho]

As a provider who is in this "biz" on a very part-time basis as part of my own fantasy world, I can honestly say that I have made some wonderful connections.

I have been fortunate enough to meet some amazing men whom I have seen consistently for a year and a half now. We have "dates" as opposed to sessions. We might go for dinner, see a movie, drink a bottle of red wine, cuddle in bed, chat online or on the phone during the week, go out for coffee, etc.

I believe that sometimes people come into our lives for certain periods for a reason. I know that I have learned a lot about myself, relationships and all manner of things from the people I choose to let into my bed and my life.

I would like to think that I have provided an enriching experience for these men too by giving not only of my sexual self, but my intellect and genuine affection. I have also made sure that that when someone would become too attached (I knew he was spending way beyond what he could afford and another was "falling in love") that I addressed it and came up with some boundaries. I am grateful that there are these wonderful men who allow me to pursue the regular career that I wish to (it's one of those "save the world" kind which doesn't ever make a lot of money) and I certainly don't want to ever take advantage of anyone.

For me, I would much rather be a mistress than a wife! If I could find someone who would help me out in that way, I would do it a lot faster than I would say "I do". I like the passion without all the daily hassles that go with a regular relationship.

Just my two cents!

Bella

 

[ExoticAsianLily]

Another mistress?

Looks to me like you need another mistress.

 

[georgebushmoron]

You're lucky you and your mistress could wind it up cleanly and just have dinners. I never forget anyone I've dated. When I see any of them again, the feelings come back very quickly. There is especially one girl who for the last 12 years has known that my feelings for her are as strong as before, though I have not seen her since.

 

[Sonny]

I'm also thinking about looking for a new relationship but have no idea where to begin my search.

It sounds to me that the change you want means also that you may have to change as well. A new relationship with a close romantic connection needs space in which to happen, and it may be that you first have to relinquish your pooning to allow that space to appear and for your motivation to be more focused.

Finding a new relationship takes time for the opportunity to arise, but a good place to start is in social circles formed around your interests - such as art galleries, book clubs, lecture series on whatever topics, etc..... the list is endless. Meeting someone with some similar interest is often a move in the right direction.

 

[Guardian Angel]

Bravo

As a provider who is in this "biz" on a very part-time basis as part of my own fantasy world, I can honestly say that I have made some wonderful connections.

I have been fortunate enough to meet some amazing men whom I have seen consistently for a year and a half now. We have "dates" as opposed to sessions. We might go for dinner, see a movie, drink a bottle of red wine, cuddle in bed, chat online or on the phone during the week, go out for coffee, etc.

I believe that sometimes people come into our lives for certain periods for a reason. I know that I have learned a lot about myself, relationships and all manner of things from the people I choose to let into my bed and my life.

I would like to think that I have provided an enriching experience for these men too by giving not only of my sexual self, but my intellect and genuine affection. I have also made sure that that when someone would become too attached (I knew he was spending way beyond what he could afford and another was "falling in love") that I addressed it and came up with some boundaries. I am grateful that there are these wonderful men who allow me to pursue the regular career that I wish to (it's one of those "save the world" kind which doesn't ever make a lot of money) and I certainly don't want to ever take advantage of anyone.

For me, I would much rather be a mistress than a wife! If I could find someone who would help me out in that way, I would do it a lot faster than I would say "I do". I like the passion without all the daily hassles that go with a regular relationship.

Just my two cents!

Bella

Well said. I have met someone like you. The age difference is quite a spread, but as you said this just seemed to happen for a reason.

I see her 6 or 7 times a year when I am in her city and we now enjoy each other on a friendship basis. We both expect our friendship to last a life time.

G.A.

 

[curvy_nympho]

Guardian Angel

That sounds lovely! That is very much what I like to have happen; being able to communicate as friends as well as lovers.

I know that a lot of men seek out SPs because they like variety. That's totally cool. For some, I know that they seek out a woman like me because they crave a connection with someone.

Bella

 

[HeMadeMeDoIt]

The best way to get over one "mistress" is to get ontop of another one

 

[SeekSteadyRegSP]

As a provider who is in this "biz" on a very part-time basis as part of my own fantasy world, I can honestly say that I have made some wonderful connections.

I have been fortunate enough to meet some amazing men whom I have seen consistently for a year and a half now. We have "dates" as opposed to sessions. We might go for dinner, see a movie, drink a bottle of red wine, cuddle in bed, chat online or on the phone during the week, go out for coffee, etc.

I believe that sometimes people come into our lives for certain periods for a reason. I know that I have learned a lot about myself, relationships and all manner of things from the people I choose to let into my bed and my life.

I would like to think that I have provided an enriching experience for these men too by giving not only of my sexual self, but my intellect and genuine affection. I have also made sure that that when someone would become too attached (I knew he was spending way beyond what he could afford and another was "falling in love") that I addressed it and came up with some boundaries. I am grateful that there are these wonderful men who allow me to pursue the regular career that I wish to (it's one of those "save the world" kind which doesn't ever make a lot of money) and I certainly don't want to ever take advantage of anyone.

For me, I would much rather be a mistress than a wife! If I could find someone who would help me out in that way, I would do it a lot faster than I would say "I do". I like the passion without all the daily hassles that go with a regular relationship.

Just my two cents!

Bella

This was one of the most enjoyable reads I've ever found on PERB, save for the last paragraph. That is just the sort of a healthy woman I'd like to see semi-regularly.

(goes off to research in greater detail...)