A good mean divorce lawyer?

[Tugela]

The only person who is going to be out a ton of cash is you. There is probably no evidence of this "reconciliation" other than your say so, so the judge is going to cut you short and grant the final order. There is no reason not to, and neither of you have a financial interest in the partnership any more.

In any case, if you split 11 years ago, and apparently (according to you) are friendly enough to have "booty calls" as you phrase it, then your resistance to the final signing probably means that you don't want to cut that final connection. Your saying that she is getting "fat and ugly" comes across as spite and anger that she is finally dumping your sorry ass and committing to this friend of yours.

And if she took off with cash you "couldn't declare", why couldn't you? Was it the proceeds of illicit business? It sounds to me that she has a bigger arsenal than you if you try to get into a slugging match in court.

 

[Sonny]

Sounds like you are about to add a whole lot of stress to your life.

Succinct and undeniable. Agreed.

hehehe, believe me , i let it go .... it was hard for a few yrs as normal , but really .....i ,m soooooo over it and feeeeeling realllly good and doing well both mentally and financially ....so , i ,m over it ....

All these self-assurances that you are just fine and doing dandy, over it without any residual spite, even though she's doing so well without you. Errrrrr.... maybe not, eh?

Anyway, that speculation aside, the whole scene as you describe it is a mess, to put it most modestly. A candidate for the Gerry Springer Show.
Seems to me, your ex is in line to screw you over again, and (along with the lawyers) take more of your hard-earned.
BC is a very unfriendly place for the male divorce combatant.

Give her what she wants, and it's finished at last. The decree nisi really does bring about a sense of finality and moving on.... without it, there's only hanging on.
If you struggle with the fact of your failed marriage and the attendent emotional straggling, then seek a good counselor rather than a lawyer..... you'll live a better life, and life really is so, so short.