5 Blade Shaver is coming!!!

[Randy Whorewald]

Text from the Onion:

Would someone tell me how this happened? We were the fucking vanguard of shaving in this country. The Gillette Mach3 was the razor to own. Then the other guy came out with a three-blade razor. Were we scared? Hell, no. Because we hit back with a little thing called the Mach3Turbo. That's three blades and an aloe strip. For moisture. But you know what happened next? Shut up, I'm telling you what happened—the bastards went to four blades. Now we're standing around with our cocks in our hands, selling three blades and a strip. Moisture or no, suddenly we're the chumps. Well, fuck it. We're going to five blades.
Sure, we could go to four blades next, like the competition. That seems like the logical thing to do. After all, three worked out pretty well, and four is the next number after three. So let's play it safe. Let's make a thicker aloe strip and call it the Mach3SuperTurbo. Why innovate when we can follow? Oh, I know why: Because we're a business, that's why!
You think it's crazy? It is crazy. But I don't give a shit. From now on, we're the ones who have the edge in the multi-blade game. Are they the best a man can get? Fuck, no. Gillette is the best a man can get.

 

[therealrex]

You can't go wrong with the Onion always funny shit. I just saw a Gilette ad saying they are unveiling a revolutionary razor on Feb 6 the first thing I thought about was 5 or 6 blades

 

[hitrack]

has anyone tried the M3 Power Nitro on their nut sak yet?!?!?!

 

[DJLAW]

they are already out for sale. i have seen them. they are this orange package. they are crazy. there are 5 blades on the front and one on the back for "precision trimming" i guess the head of the razor is so big that you cant get under your nose anymore.

 

[LutherBlissett]

Mach 3 on your nuts is the bomb. The added bonus is the vibration can get you stiff if you hit the right spots. Sometimes it takes me 10 minutes to shave down there.

 

[stickdoctor]

I've opted out of the multiple blade gimcrackery which is really just a gimmick invented by the razor companies to keep the suckers spending money on expensive blades.

I use my dad's old safety razor with new double-edged blades from Merkur that I get from House of Knives.

When I get a chances I'll upgrade the razor to this:

but I already get better shaves with a 30 year old DE safety razor than I ever did with a mach3.

Bonus: It costs me 10 bux for a pack of DE blades that lasts me much longer than the 30 bux packs at costco of mach3 blades.

 

[Smother]

Take out a morgage for these new 5 blades shaving your hair!!!
No.....wait.....maybe it'll shave your face off too!!!!
Getting stupid i think!!