22 year old fat asain Virgin seeking advice

[thejunkbox53]

Hey there,

Been coasting around this forum here and there for a while now. Everyday I keep contemplating whether I should go see a SP, but recently I have been starting to think otherwise.

I am at a very confused state, so I need some answers.

My theory on women and what not from what I hear from my good friend, is pretty screwed up. I want to relieve the stress of not having a gf, and just being a virgin with a SP, but I want more than that. I want someone to tell me that I am worth it in this world. Long story short, I feel super miserable with my life, I'm an asian 22 year old, overweight, not so great personality, and no accomplishments in life. Though this is MY opinion, and my friends keep disagreeing with this, but this is just how I feel all the time, and everyday just sucks. And I don't ask ANY GIRL out because I feel I am not worth their time. The only way I feel I know I am doing fine in life, is if a beautiful woman told me with full honesty (and with assessing everything i tell her about myself), that I am worth it in life, and that I should(or should not) have the confidence in talking to other women, and being confident about myself.

So I'm just wondering if you guys know if there is like a service that like counsels people with sex (therapist)? Like have her listen into my life problems and self-esteem issues, then like examines your body and what not, then have a sexual encounter(?), and then evaluates what you seem to be fine in, what you should improve on, etc...?

I think I looked up something like this before, but all I keep getting are about sex LESSONS, and that's not really what i am looking for. SO i am wondering if this type of service even exists....

From what I imagine, if there is such a service, the minimum rate would maybe be like $2,000, but I am willing to spend that. LIke I just NEED some beautiful woman, to tell me what and who i am (or at least what they can assume based on the limited info they get), or else I feel like i can never really understand myself....

sorry this post is all over the place, really don't know how to explain it well.....

thanks in advance

 

[Torrential]

The only way I feel I know I am doing fine in life, is if a beautiful woman told me with full honesty (and with assessing everything i tell her about myself), that I am worth it in lifee

I'm not certain you're in the right place because that's not something money can buy. It will, however, buy you the illusion of such an experience.

 

[thehedonist]

I lost my virginity to an sp at 21, and it was the best decision ever. I wish I'd started at like... 12 lol.

I'd recommend getting in shape. Not because it will get you regular girls, but because you'll get better service from sp's. It's the only reason I work out.

If you want unconditional love, get a dog.

 

[Bobo The Rabbit]

Just go see a super hot GFE well reviewed girl that advertises here on PERB. There are a lot in Vancouver.
Don't spend more than 300 an hour. It will be great sex and fun but once you cum your done and will feel hollow again and disinterested in the girl.

 

[Danika]

Maybe you need to follow in the footsteps of PSY...he's doing well for himself. From nobody to somebody.....

Sounds like hes singing "Open Condom Style" lol.

 

[jesuschrist]

Sounds like hes singing "Open Condom Style" lol.

I thought "broken condom style" - a recent review here.

 

[jesuschrist]

Very unlikely any SP you are paying money to will give you frank and brutally honest advice and opinion on your looks, your mannerisms, etc... unless she doesn't want you back. Therefore if you must seek the advice of an SP, then find one who is very popular, hard to book with, and has a bad bedside manner (ie: arrogant, a terrible actor, etc).

Also, your friends who tell you you're alright, have no problems, etc., are not really your friends. If you think you suck, you probably suck. You need the advice of real friends who are honest with you and still want to be your friend even if you suck ass.

You need to lose weight. At 22 and Asian, you should not be fat. Shame on you for eating too much and not taking care of yourself.

You're too young to have real confidence in yourself because typically at that age, accomplishments are few and far between. If you bought the line from educators, authorities and others that you should have great self-esteem, or you are really great - but for no real reason, you've been fooled. Go accomplish things - these take time. Real confidence and self-esteem come with time and honest efforts. Confidence is a chick magnet. As an aside, having a great car or being rich are poor substitutes when it comes to attracting anything but trash - I thought I'd throw that in because a lot of guys seem to think it's all about money and cars.

Get busy losing weight and focusing on becoming accomplished - and expect not to find a girl during that time. If you do happen to have some spare time, go ask girls who are in your league only to date. As you move up levels, your league will change and you will deserve more desirable girls. Everybody wants a 10 in looks, but few men deserve it.

 

[uncleg]

Where's LAG when you need him..................maybe honda........???

 

[Torrential]

Shame on you for eating too much and not taking care of yourself..

Most of this advise was good until about this part. Literally no understanding of weight problems. You went with shame?

To put it in perspective, a study at Harvard put the causes in this order: genetics, environment, caloric intake, and exercise. Eating too much and exercise take care of only the bronze medal and honourable mention contributors. Certainly dieting and exercise are mandatory aspects of losing weight, but ultimately, 80% of people who are the following will minimally benefit from a routine of exercise and low-cal diet if they have been: overweight throughout their whole life, their parents shared the same pattern and who suffer from blood complications such as diabetes / thrifty genes. Not to say its impossible, but the effort-justification table between a person inside this category and out is the comparison of an athlete and a person who bikes to work.

If weight is really your concern, an all around plan from an actual dietitian and physician would be your best bet.

Otherwise JC had some reasonable advise.

 

[jesuschrist]

Most of this advise was good until about this part. Literally no understanding of weight problems. You went with shame?

To put it in perspective, a study at Harvard put the causes in this order: genetics

But I said:

"At 22 and Asian, you should not be fat. Shame on you for eating too much...."

In other words, I concur with the study you cite. He should be slim because an Asian boy of 22 is genetically predisposed to being slim, just like Caucasian boys of 22 are genetically predisposed to be tall. If he's fat, he's outdone his genetic predisposition and really abused himself. Yes, SHAME. Shame is not always a bad thing, unless one is stuck to being politically correct. The real world understands that some behaviour is shameful - such as self-abuse, and this is self-abuse.

 

[lenny]

The only way I feel I know I am doing fine in life, is if a beautiful woman told me with full honesty (and with assessing everything i tell her about myself), that I am worth it in life, and that I should(or should not) have the confidence in talking to other women, and being confident about myself.

Why would it have to be a "beautiful woman". Why not a blond? Are they smarter than the rest?

If you want to have confidence in talking to women, start doing it. Then you will learn how & your confidence will grow.

Face your fears, stomp on them, & don't be a wussy.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Looks, Looks, Looks (1975)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-PqFIx_X6A&feature=related

 

[my.2.cents]

Assuming that this is not a troll. My personal best advice is to:

Save your $$$ and use it towards a gym membership and dedicate yourself to healthier eating and healthier living for 1 - 1.5 years. Part of being happy is to having a great mind, body and soul. Once you achieve the right look you will gain the confidence to talk to women and women will look at you differently even as you walk down the street. Portraying a healthy life will attract the right type of woman. You're only hurting yourself and your're only 22 and have a lot of living to do, its time to look at yourself seriously in the mirror and make a change. Use your anger and frustration as motivation. Part of being successful in anything whether it be work, money or relationships is imagining it being successful. If you think you are a loser...you are a loser; women can sniff this shit out.

And if you still aren't happy at this point then by all means have the fuck-fest of your life with a 4 SP orgy in the penthouse of the Shang-ri-la.

just.my.2.cents on the matter

 

[Robert Upndown]

At 22 and Asian you should at least be able to spell "Asian"

 

[CutieAngie]

I think you are looking in the wrong place for help here. Why does it have to be a beautiful woman that helps you an SP at all. Coming here you are going to get a lot of input and advice. But quite honestly if you are not happy with who you are, take a good look at yourself, think of who you are and who you want to be.
Then go and make the changes you need to. No body can change who you are, it is up to you to make the change. So your choice is to continue as you have been or when you wake up tomorrow tell yourself. "This is it today is a new beginning and I am going to change for the better"

Just do it, people can support you it is up to you though, not some beautiful woman, be strong and confident and proud start accomplishing the things you want in life. You have friends tell them you want to make these changes they can not help you but they can support you through it as good friends.

 

[Lady Companion]

I'm truly sorry to hear that you are feeling so disappointed with yourself and your life at the moment. But please try to watch your self talk. Your subconscious/spirit will start to believe the words you put out there, and right now, you are being extremely cruel to yourself. I know I don't know you, but I do do know that you have unlimited potential. Everybody does. Sometimes our lens just gets so foggy that we can't see it in ourselves or others. Sometimes self loathing, shame, hurt and guilt are so deep flowing that we won't allow ourselves to see our own beauty (and often we don't even know where the loathing originally came from).

My personal belief is that we experience joy when our lives are in alignment with what our soul/essence/spirit (whatever term you want to call it) wants. External things are transient. You can never have true joy or true suffering from external (though we are often deluded into thinking we can). Circumstances can distract you or make you temporarily happy, but TRUE joy and peace always come from living in alignment with YOUR TRUTH.

Most people here are focusing on your weight as being an issue. It may be (and I am certainly one to advocate being as healthy as possible and taking care of the bodies we have). However, I think that the real dissatisfaction you feel comes from trying to be a different person than you are. From trying to live a life that somebody else wants you to live (be that your parents, religion, society, teachers or the beer commercial). This is YOUR LIFE. You are a unique person and nobody can do a better job of being you than you can.

That is something to celebrate! Not something to hide from. I suspect that somewhere along the way (just like the vast majority of us) you lost site of who YOU really are. The real you. Without the layers of protection to shield you from judgement, without 'trying' to be somebody different to be thought of as more loveable, or to be accepted. The you that existed when you were a young child and didn't care about any of that. The you that existed through all eternity, and will continue to do so.

There is beauty and perfection IN being gloriously flawed. Don't be ashamed of that. Celebrate the diversity that makes you unique. More importantly, work on getting back in touch with who you really are. Not who you have become. Not who you think you should be. THE REAL YOU.

When we are completely honest and true to ourselves - when we are living in alignment with our highest truth, or personal truth, we can't be anything but joyful. We see meaning, purpose, joy and beauty not only in ourselves, but in absolutely everybody and everything we come in to contact we. We live in a place of presence, of abundance and of gratitude.

Find your heart's song. Live that. You will be happy.

When we are authentic, wonderful people are drawn to us. Everybody desires to be true to themselves and to be accepted at the same time. But you have to begin with accepting yourself. You may be able to fool others into thinking you are somebody you aren't. However, you will just get more and more miserable in the process. You may even really 'want' to be a certain way. You may even achieve that. However, you will find the victory to be hollow because your authentic self will feel abandoned.

That isn't to say that we can't make improvements on who we are. But until we can accept and truly love our real foundation and essence, any 'living' we do....even if it appears to be fabulous....is simply existing.

You need to REMEMBER who you are, and then KNOW that whomever he is, is really truly perfect. Authenticity is perfection. Once you find that, by all means, continue to polish that gem each day! Continue to grow and achieve what YOU truly want for yourself. But first find out who and what that really is. (this is much much easier said than done for most of us. It's a process to peel away all the layers of shields we put up.

As for finding a woman - I honesty think you will find more than you can handle once you truly start living a life that is authentic to you. I know there will be many nay sayers on this board, but that is because many people are in a similar place as you are, but also in denial. You dislike yourself because you know you can do better and you know you aren't being true to who you really are. Have the courage to allow yourself to BE. To be you. Honour your true self, nourish that, and allow it to flourish. That is perfection. When others see you doing so, you will not only give them permission to do the same for themselves, but you will also being drawing to you others who are striving to be the best authentic version of themselves that they can be. Relationships will transcend to a whole new level, and things that don't matter (how much money you have, what you look like, how old you are etc.) REALLY won't matter.

That's a lot to do all at once, so for now, I would really encourage you to afford yourself the same ease and grace you would give to others. Don't judge anything you do. Simply observe it. Don't label, just observe. Eventually you will find the real you feels safe enough to come back out, and then the true joy - the true living begins!

May your spirit be filled with peace, your heart with love, and your body with health!

With light, love, happiness and gratitude for your sharing!

 

[Volpina Vance]

I'm truly sorry to hear that you are feeling so disappointed with yourself and your life at the moment. But please try to watch your self talk. Your subconscious/spirit will start to believe the words you put out there, and right now, you are being extremely cruel to yourself. I know I don't know you, but I do do know that you have unlimited potential. Everybody does. Sometimes our lens just gets so foggy that we can't see it in ourselves or others. Sometimes self loathing, shame, hurt and guilt are so deep flowing that we won't allow ourselves to see our own beauty (and often we don't even know where the loathing originally came from).

My personal belief is that we experience joy when our lives are in alignment with what our soul/essence/spirit (whatever term you want to call it) wants. External things are transient. You can never have true joy or true suffering from external (though we are often deluded into thinking we can). Circumstances can distract you or make you temporarily happy, but TRUE joy and peace always come from living in alignment with YOUR TRUTH.

Most people here are focusing on your weight as being an issue. It may be (and I am certainly one to advocate being as healthy as possible and taking care of the bodies we have). However, I think that the real dissatisfaction you feel comes from trying to be a different person than you are. From trying to live a life that somebody else wants you to live (be that your parents, religion, society, teachers or the beer commercial). This is YOUR LIFE. You are a unique person and nobody can do a better job of being you than you can.

That is something to celebrate! Not something to hide from. I suspect that somewhere along the way (just like the vast majority of us) you lost site of who YOU really are. The real you. Without the layers of protection to shield you from judgement, without 'trying' to be somebody different to be thought of as more loveable, or to be accepted. The you that existed when you were a young child and didn't care about any of that. The you that existed through all eternity, and will continue to do so.

There is beauty and perfection IN being gloriously flawed. Don't be ashamed of that. Celebrate the diversity that makes you unique. More importantly, work on getting back in touch with who you really are. Not who you have become. Not who you think you should be. THE REAL YOU.

When we are completely honest and true to ourselves - when we are living in alignment with our highest truth, or personal truth, we can't be anything but joyful. We see meaning, purpose, joy and beauty not only in ourselves, but in absolutely everybody and everything we come in to contact we. We live in a place of presence, of abundance and of gratitude.

Find your heart's song. Live that. You will be happy.

When we are authentic, wonderful people are drawn to us. Everybody desires to be true to themselves and to be accepted at the same time. But you have to begin with accepting yourself. You may be able to fool others into thinking you are somebody you aren't. However, you will just get more and more miserable in the process. You may even really 'want' to be a certain way. You may even achieve that. However, you will find the victory to be hollow because your authentic self will feel abandoned.

That isn't to say that we can't make improvements on who we are. But until we can accept and truly love our real foundation and essence, any 'living' we do....even if it appears to be fabulous....is simply existing.

You need to REMEMBER who you are, and then KNOW that whomever he is, is really truly perfect. Authenticity is perfection. Once you find that, by all means, continue to polish that gem each day! Continue to grow and achieve what YOU truly want for yourself. But first find out who and what that really is. (this is much much easier said than done for most of us. It's a process to peel away all the layers of shields we put up.

As for finding a woman - I honesty think you will find more than you can handle once you truly start living a life that is authentic to you. I know there will be many nay sayers on this board, but that is because many people are in a similar place as you are, but also in denial. You dislike yourself because you know you can do better and you know you aren't being true to who you really are. Have the courage to allow yourself to BE. To be you. Honour your true self, nourish that, and allow it to flourish. That is perfection. When others see you doing so, you will not only give them permission to do the same for themselves, but you will also being drawing to you others who are striving to be the best authentic version of themselves that they can be. Relationships will transcend to a whole new level, and things that don't matter (how much money you have, what you look like, how old you are etc.) REALLY won't matter.

That's a lot to do all at once, so for now, I would really encourage you to afford yourself the same ease and grace you would give to others. Don't judge anything you do. Simply observe it. Don't label, just observe. Eventually you will find the real you feels safe enough to come back out, and then the true joy - the true living begins!

May your spirit be filled with peace, your heart with love, and your body with health!

With light, love, happiness and gratitude for your sharing!

Yes, yes, yes! This is exactly what I wanted to say.

I have two subsequent comments:

1) It initially occurred to me that this might be a person with submissive fantasies choosing to act them out on this board. In this case, I would gently urge the OP to try to consider and ensure that your fantasies are enacted in a consensual way.

2) It's simply true in our culture that being affirmed by others about your body will have a positive influence on the way you conceptualize yourself. Under the influence of depression, it can be difficult to initiate the process of self-liberation Lady Companion (the aptly-named Angel) promotes, and it may seem impossible to take control of the way you feel about your body amongst inescapable societal messages that you're doing it all wrong. However, seeking affirmation from a woman and valuing her opinions purely due to her physical appearance will be a disservice to each of you.

I would not rule out that a sex worker would be able to assist your sense of self-worth, but I am adamant that instead of primarily valuing the person you seek out for her beauty, you would need find somebody who you are sure will truly care about you. At this stage in your life, I feel that you would become infatuated very easily, and you would need to interact with someone who would caringly need literally to manage your emotions. There is potential for a lot of damage in that situation, and I don't necessarily recommend it. I absolutely feel, though, that your instincts are right in seeking out intimacy and touch from another human being. If you decide to go forward with this line of action, remember that the field of sex work involves tantra practitioners, masseuses, and others who will put a lot of thought into your spiritual and emotional journey.

 

[violetblake]

No one should ever depend on another human being for confidence. It's false, it won't actually make you feel better. That person can leave you and then what do you have? And most importantly, it's just setting yourself up for an abusive relationship. I've seen far too many people (men and women alike) stay with a person who doesn't treat them very well because they don't think they can get any better, and they rely on this person for their confidence, for their life basically.

That's no way to live. From what you describe, you're not the type who has everything going right in his life and still isn't happy. Which is good news for you, because all the things you are unhappy about you can change. But YOU have to do it. No one's going to do it for you. It may be a romantic story that you meet some girl and she changes you- but that story doesn't exist. Never has, never will.

As many have mentioned; work out so you feel physically better, learn new skills/knowledge so you have something to talk about and which can help you accomplish things, and practice being social.

You don't need pick-up lines or tricks to get a girl, you just have to be a confident, interesting person. That's all. But don't become a better person because you want women to like you so you can have a woman that "completes you". Be a better person for YOU.

 

[wilde]

Hey there,

Been coasting around this forum here and there for a while now. Everyday I keep contemplating whether I should go see a SP, but recently I have been starting to think otherwise.

I am at a very confused state, so I need some answers.

My theory on women and what not from what I hear from my good friend, is pretty screwed up. I want to relieve the stress of not having a gf, and just being a virgin with a SP, but I want more than that. I want someone to tell me that I am worth it in this world. Long story short, I feel super miserable with my life, I'm an asian 22 year old, overweight, not so great personality, and no accomplishments in life. Though this is MY opinion, and my friends keep disagreeing with this, but this is just how I feel all the time, and everyday just sucks. And I don't ask ANY GIRL out because I feel I am not worth their time. The only way I feel I know I am doing fine in life, is if a beautiful woman told me with full honesty (and with assessing everything i tell her about myself), that I am worth it in life, and that I should(or should not) have the confidence in talking to other women, and being confident about myself.

So I'm just wondering if you guys know if there is like a service that like counsels people with sex (therapist)? Like have her listen into my life problems and self-esteem issues, then like examines your body and what not, then have a sexual encounter(?), and then evaluates what you seem to be fine in, what you should improve on, etc...?

I think I looked up something like this before, but all I keep getting are about sex LESSONS, and that's not really what i am looking for. SO i am wondering if this type of service even exists....

From what I imagine, if there is such a service, the minimum rate would maybe be like $2,000, but I am willing to spend that. LIke I just NEED some beautiful woman, to tell me what and who i am (or at least what they can assume based on the limited info they get), or else I feel like i can never really understand myself....

sorry this post is all over the place, really don't know how to explain it well.....

thanks in advance

Sounds to me like you need, in no particular order, a therapist/counselor, a fitness instructor, a life coach, a beautiful SP, confidence in a bottle and some real friends who are not afraid to offend you. Two grand ought to do it for a week.

 

[Torrential]

He should be slim because an Asian boy of 22 is genetically predisposed to being slim, just like Caucasian boys of 22 are genetically predisposed to be tall. If he's fat, he's outdone his genetic predisposition and really abused himself.

I actually laughed out loud when I read this. Please tell me where this wealth of information came from? I can assure you it was in no reputable study supported by any medical journal. Fox News by any chance? Or, like most statistics in popular media, not real? The actual complexity of the demographic you said when you said Asian figuratively blew my mind in suggesting they're genetically predisposed to being slim. Now I have to know if you're going with the Canadian government definition, medical-genetic, or geographical sense? Furthermore, please explain the diversity of the study where they fabricated this overwhelmingly broad study of 3/5th of the world population. I beg you to go to your family physician and state this claim. The look on his face would be priceless.

I don't even know where to begin.

 

[jesuschrist]

I actually laughed out loud when I read this. Please tell me where this wealth of information came from? I can assure you it was in no reputable study supported by any medical journal. Fox News by any chance? Or, like most statistics in popular media, not real? The actual complexity of the demographic you said when you said Asian figuratively blew my mind in suggesting they're genetically predisposed to being slim. Now I have to know if you're going with the Canadian government definition, medical-genetic, or geographical sense? Furthermore, please explain the diversity of the study where they fabricated this overwhelmingly broad study of 3/5th of the world population. I beg you to go to your family physician and state this claim. The look on his face would be priceless.

I don't even know where to begin.

You must be blind then.